Candy
by Morie
Summary: Song inspired one shot that turned into a fic. Edward and Bella are friends of the "special" kind. The only problem is, Bella is in love with him. Will she be able to resist him long enough to demand something more? I suck at summaries, it's a fun read.
1. The Resolution

_A/N: Hey everyone! This is my first one-shot, and it's a song inspired one, AND a lemon! Wish me luck! Reviews will be greatly appreciated, constructive criticism encouraged :)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, and neither of the characters.  
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_I was perched outside in the pouring rain_

_Trying to make myself assail_

_Then I'll float to you my darling_

_With the evening on my tail_

_Although not the most honest means of travel_

_It gets me there nonetheless_

_I'm a heartless man at worst, babe_

_And a helpless one at best_

_Darling, I'll bathe your skin_

_I'll even wash your clothes_

_Just give me some candy_

_Before I go_

_Oh darling, I'll kiss your eyes_

_And lay you down on your rug_

_Just give me some candy_

_After my heart_

_Yes I'm often found explaining_

_Though to her it plays out all the same_

_And although I'm left defeated_

_It gets held against my name_

_I know you've got plenty to offer, baby_

_And I think I've taken quite enough_

_While I'm some stain there on your bed sheet_

_You're my diamond in the rough_

_- Candy by Paolo Nutini_

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**Bella's POV:**

_I'm not seeing Edward Cullen again. Ever._

That was my newest resolution. This had gone on for too fucking long, anyway. I mean, how long did he think I would put up with this shit? With this situation, where he had me under his complete control and I was losing my free will the moment he would knock on my front door?

_I will not be Edward Cullen's booty call anymore._

I tried to keep focus on my decision. This wasn't the first time the thought of bowing out of this had crossed my mind, but every time he would call or come over and I could hear his hypnotizing voice or see his sexy brooding face in front of me, I mentally slapped the thought right out of my mind.

_I will look at those green, make-you-want-to-groan bedroom eyes, and say no to Edward Cullen._

This was the first time that I've made a definite decision to stop seeing him. If he wasn't going to commit, I wasn't going to comply. It was that fucking simple. This cow won't be giving out the milk for free any longer.

_I will not fuck Edward Cullen until he's ready to stop playing around, and start being serious._

Of course, that would mean I was giving up sex altogether, whereas he could easily find someone else to go and fuck. _Crap_. No matter what, he always had the upper hand here. Was I really willing to give up whatever connection I had with him, as unfulfilling (and yet, completely satisfying) as it was, and let someone else have him?

It has been months now, that Edward _scrumptiously fuckable_ Cullen has been paying visits to my glamorous Seattle loft – which was actually my pathetically small Seattle apartment – and fucking me senseless, just to leave in the morning and disappear for the next few days.

It was my fault, really. I was the one who invited him. It's a stupid, typical female thing to have sex with a guy that wasn't ready or willing to engage in a relationship that included more than sex. And although I knew it won't make him want to be with me, a part of me was still hoping that he would come around once I've made him cum.

I just wanted him so fucking much. Edward had the most astonishing features. His face were compiled of bright emerald eyes that made him look brooding ninety nine percent of the time, a straight nose, a perfectly squared jaw, and the most deliciously pouty lips I have ever seen.

And that was just his face; his body was a different matter altogether. It wasn't just sexy, it wasn't just beautiful – it was fucking perfect. Fucking Godlike and perfected. He was lean, but powerfully built, and his height was just right for him to look down at me through those long lashes and make me surrender my will.

And his hair. God, his hair. He had a head full of reddish-brown colored hair, disheveled and messy and just begging for my hands to run through.

The way he stood, the way he carried himself, the way he could seem quiet, shy and modest, and all of a sudden make a 180 turn and become a cocky, dirty talking, take control, irresistible bad boy.

All that didn't even matter, though. Because I was in love with him ever since I was 16 years old, when I was the new girl in school and he was the loner, outsider by choice. We became friends instantly, to everyone's dismay, and stayed best friends until we went to different colleges and grew apart. I was in love with him still.

When he dropped out of college he moved back to Seattle, and one day we just ran into each other. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised by this encounter, not to mention his _very_ agreeable growth since high school, and I invited him over to have some coffee and catch up.

I soon found out he wasn't very talkative, and he seemed as closed as he did when we met in high school. And so there was obvious tension between us, and many uncomfortable silences. It was only a matter of time until one of those silences had to be filled with something other than talking.

After giving me the most unbelievable, mind blowing fuck I've ever had in my life, and spending the night in my bed with his arms around me, he left and only made contact a few days later.

Since then, we've fallen to a routine of late night booty calls. Well, actually, not only late night – but also early morning, noon, afternoon, and evening. Whenever the mood called for it.

Of course, he didn't know that every feeling for him I had suppressed over the years was now resurfacing and reminding me that there was no one else I could ever love. He had no idea back then, and he had no idea now.

But he did know that I wanted more than sex, more than fucking fantastic sex. He just didn't know that I wanted _him_, specifically – he thought I just wanted security, settling down with someone. And he made it clear from the start – he wasn't ready to be in a relationship, he wanted something casual and fun. This was casual, but I wasn't having fun anymore. I was, in the physical sense, yes, but not emotionally.

A soft knock sounded on my door. I practically flew there, in my t-shirt and little pajama shorts. I peeped at the hole, just to make sure it wasn't some _other_ sex craving man, and opened the door with what I was hoping to be a composed look.

_I will stand strong, put my foot down, and give Edward Cullen an ultimatum; _my mind reminded me of my resolution.

"Hey, you," I said, and growled internally at myself for the cheesiness.

He looked positively gorgeous, his hair wet from the rain, his eyes glistening with excitement, much like a little boy standing in front of a big, mouth-watering chocolate cake. His mouth twisted up on one corner to a sexy crooked smile that never failed to make my panties extremely fucking wet.

"Hey," he said quietly, leaning against the frame of the door with one hand.

"Come in," I smiled and moved to make room for him to do so, before closing the door behind him.

When I turned around back to him, he was looking me up and down in a way that made my cheeks blush an unfortunately deep crimson.

"You look… heavenly," he said. I felt dazed by his stare, by his eyes that were holding mine powerfully.

"Thank you," I shook my head, trying to snap out of it.

He took a step forward towards me. _Uh oh_. I had to start talking, before it would be too late for any talking of the non dirty kind.

"W-we need to talk," I stammered, holding my hands before me defensively, as if I needed to protect myself from his spell.

"No problem. About what?" he asked nonchalantly, but kept moving forward slowly until I was backed against my front door.

"About our little… situation," I said slowly, feeling my head spinning from the way he looked down at me, his eyes dark and searing through mine.

"Yes, what about it?" he whispered, brushing his nose against my cheek, fanning me with his hot breath.

_I'm fucked._

My eyes rolled back in their sockets, and for a moment, all I could think of was his breath on my face, his slim fingers tucking a group of stray hair behind my ear and then tracing the line of my jaw and down my collarbone, his body pressing up against mine so I could feel his hard cock right through those damn jeans. All those I could think of, but definitely not my initial intentions.

"We need to…" I gasped as he bent his head to kiss along my neck, gently sucking on all my favorite fucking spots, "stop… playing around," I moaned when he began kneading my left breast with the palm of his hand through my t-shirt.

Then he gazed back at me with those lustful eyes and licked his lips.

_He did not just lick those goddamn amazing lips_.

"You're absolutely right about that, love," he said. He obviously meant something other than what I had meant, because within a second his lips were crushed upon mine, his hands tangled in my hair and he was starting to move us backwards and towards the couch.

We attacked each other's lips with force that could not be strained, our lips moving almost violently together, only pausing to pull each other's shirts above our heads on our way to my sofa.

Edward laid me down on it, pressing his body over mine quickly and kissing me again with urgency that was beyond my expectations. My hands roamed his exposed back as his explored my torso, caressing my breasts and rolling and pinching my hardened peaks between his fingers, eliciting another loud moan on my part. My hips were bucking against his, trying to gain some sweet friction to relief the ache I felt in my pussy.

This was still moving too slow for my taste. I needed him now.

I moved my hands down between us to unbutton his jeans and struggled to pull them off along with his boxer briefs. He wasn't helping me at all; he was too busy dragging his lips and tongue up my neck and nibbling on my ear lobe. He groaned as I stroked his cock. I tightened my grip.

He growled and pulled away from me to remove the remaining of my clothes, then moving to assault my lips once again with his, letting me savor his intoxicating taste with my tongue. His hand moved down my body slowly until he reached where I needed him most, and traced my folds with his fingers. The sensation was unbelievable.

He moved to suck my earlobe between his lips, and I whimpered, begging him to stop teasing me. "So fucking wet for me already," he grunted into my ear.

What did I tell you about the dirty talking bad boy?

"Edward, please!" I cried out, desperate to feel him inside me. He moved back again to face my eyes, darkened with desire, with emotion.

He decided to stop stalling the moment, lifted one of my legs to his side and with one smooth motion, he slid his cock into me, already making me feel a tightening of muscles in my lower abdomen. We both moaned at the amazing contact our bodies made, before he started moving his hips in slow motions towards me, pushing as deep as he could into my pussy, and backwards.

I entwined my fingers in his messy hair and pulled him back to my eager lips with a groan, urging him to go faster with the leg I had around his body. We panted heavily into each other's mouths, but never gave up on that electrifying contact our lips made, not even to breathe properly, as he kept driving in and out of me.

"Faster," I breathed in between furious kisses, rocking my hips upwards to meet with his, feeling myself get closer and closer with each thrust.

"You want me to fuck you faster, love?" he said huskily. Man, did he like to dirty talk, and oh boy did I fucking love that he liked to dirty talk.

"I want you to fuck me faster," I nodded, capturing his lips again with mine.

He picked up the pace, and soon after, he was sending me into blissful oblivion. I whimpered and writhed underneath him, feeling my toes curl and waves of intensified pleasure coursing up and through my body. When I came down from my high, Edward pulled himself out of me, and I mewled from the loss of touch.

He suddenly rolled over and let himself land on his back on my thick carpet, pulling me on top of him, and then rolled again so he was on top of me again.

I wrapped my legs around him instantly, and he pushed inside me again with a roar, going faster and harder than ever before.

_Fuck, that's hot._

He was taking me like a fucking animal on my living room carpet and I loved it. It was like something had taken over him, like he never wanted, or needed me, like he did at this moment.

I felt his cock ram into my body, filling my every need, as Edward's free hand ran from my outer thigh to my hip and to my breast, squeezing it gently in his palm. I grasped his silky hair again when he buried his face in my neck, groaning loudly.

"Bella," he growled my name in pleasure.

I felt myself nearing my peak again, and I wanted him to get there with me.

"Cum with me, Edward. Please cum with me, baby," I whispered, out of breath. He nodded, placing another kiss on my lips, before pulling his torso up and grabbing my thighs. He lifted my lower body from the carpet, and pushed himself into me in a slightly different angle, driving me out of my mind.

This position allowed him to thrust even harder and deeper into my depths, effectively sending us both over the edge. I convulsed around him just before I felt him coming inside of me. I could dimly hear Edward's grunts and groans through the sounds of me, screaming out his name as violent shivers took over my body.

After riding out our orgasms, Edward leaned over me to kiss me passionately again, and then pulled out and lied beside me on the carpet, worn out.

"That was…" I panted.

"Unexpected," he completed my sentence, as breathless as I was.

"Definitely surprising," I nodded, gazing at his hot, sweaty body next to me. He looked back at me with a smile and a soft gaze in his eyes, and caressed my cheek with his hand gently, pulling me in for a tender kiss. His lips were so soft and warm against mine, it made me want to cry. Why did I have to be so in love with Edward Cullen?

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**Edward's POV:**

I was so in love with Bella Swan, I was in way over my head. She didn't know what took over me, but I had a feeling that I knew what it was.

She was going to talk to me about getting serious, about her wanting more than just sex to this relationship. I only suspected so far that she had feelings for me too, but to hear her say we should stop playing around made me feel fucking ecstatic. But even _I_ didn't expect such a primal, animalistic reaction from myself, from my own body.

I needed Bella Swan so damn badly.

I told her at first, that I was only interested in fun, nothing that involved emotions, and I regretted saying it not long after, once I realized I was hopelessly in love with this woman.

I had thought a lot about that moment, and I decided not to let it play out. I didn't deserve Bella. She was smart, beautiful, independent, witty, sexy as fuck, and way too good for me. I was a college drop out with a dream of becoming a pianist. I couldn't provide for her, I couldn't be the man she needed me to be.

I will ask Bella Swan to marry me someday. Once I become that man, the one that she could proudly call her husband.


	2. The New Girl

_A/N: Here it is! Thank all of you for your support, I'm really glad you liked the one-shot, and I'm hoping you'll like the rest of the story! Please review either way, and try to be specific! I love reading it, and it helps me improve! Your reviews were the reason I'm continuing this story. And you're awesome :)_

_Btw, sorry about the lack of updates, the computer I'm using died and had to be revived. It's now back on and there will be more updates here and in "Are You For Real?" as well! :)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any of the characters. I'm just OOC'ing them._

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**Chapter 2: The New Girl.**

_6 years ago, Forks High._

Being the new girl sucked. I wanted nothing more than to just stay in Phoenix with my mother. Good old Phoenix, hot and dry and big enough so you could disappear and drown out in the crowd. Forks had no such advantages.

With the population of about 20 people, it was kind of hard not to stand out. Especially if you were the new girl, _and_ the chief of police's daughter. To top all that off, I was going through that stage, when you wear dark clothes with no makeup and listen to rock music all the time, and act nothing like the Triple P girls of Forks High – pink, popular, and fucking perky. They were all eyeballing me as if I was the reincarnation of Frankenstein.

I made my way through the parking lot, leaving my old noisy truck behind alongside all the new and shiny Honda's and Volvo's, and went to get my schedule. _Be brave, Penelope_, I telepathically told my truck. _Be brave_.

First period, Calculus. I hated Calculus.

I made my way to the classroom, mentally swearing at the incredibly slow secretary who gave me my schedule, and made me late to class.

I took a deep breath and opened the door, and I was fully aware of about 46 eyes staring at me silently as I walked towards the teacher's desk and placed the slip I got from the secretary on it. She examined it for a few moments.

"Very well," she said in a louder voice than I expected. "Everyone, this is Isabella Swan. Isabella, take your seat next to Jessica here," she pointed at the girl sitting in the second row alone. Jessica was definitely a Triple P, but she actually smiled at me. It was a weak smile, but a smile nonetheless. She had dark blonde hair with a headband in it, and I could tell she was short and petite.

"It's Bella," I corrected her in a small voice, and sat down. _Huh. Well, I guess I'm shorter than her_.

"Okay people, let's open our books at page 16. Bella, do you have a book?" she continued to embarrass me.

"Yes," I almost whispered and nodded.

During class, Jessica and I had a little small talk. It was nothing important, but I have to admit I was glad to at least be able to talk to one person in this entire school, even if she was completely different from me.

_Maybe it wouldn't be that bad today_, I thought as I exited the class, after Jessica asked me to sit with her and her friends during lunch.

My second period was going to be Biology, which I was happy for. At least I wouldn't look like a _total_ idiot – I took advanced Biology back in Phoenix. And I was relieved to have found the classroom right on time. I didn't want to be too early _or_ late again, that would only attract more unwanted attention to me.

With that thought, a pack of three Triple P's passed me on their way into the classroom, one of them deliberately bumping into me and making me drop my binder, effectively scattering all of the paper sheets in it on the floor.

"Oops… sorry!" the girl said sarcastically, and they all giggled their way into class. _Stupid sluts_. I bent down and started picking up the pages, all the while being ignored by people who entered the classroom in packs.

"Ugh!" I fumed to myself. _This is my punishment for thinking it wouldn't be that bad_. I saw someone stop next to me, and then he dropped down and handed me the last two pages.

"Here you go, miss…?" he smiled to me. _Figures_. He was definitely _not_ part of the student body. He wasn't old or anything, but he was no teenager, either.

"S-Swan," I stammered. "Thank you."

"Oh, you're the famous Isabella," he said as we both got up, and furrowed his eyebrows, like he wasn't expecting someone who looked like me – perhaps he expected someone… perkier.

"Bella," I corrected him. _Great, Chief Swan must've called me Isabella while he babbled about me to the whole freaking town_.

"Well, Bella, I hope you enjoy my class," he smiled again, encouragingly. "Come on."

I followed him into the classroom, which was already full with already seated students.

"Settle down everyone," he announced and set his bag on the teacher's table.

I thanked God that Mr. Banner (as my schedule read) didn't want to put me through the embarrassment of introducing me to the class and quickly skimmed the room for an empty seat, while the class gradually became quiet.

There was only one, on the second row from the back, and it happened to be right next to the most godly creature I've ever seen.

He was the only one who wasn't looking at me, but I could still see his eyes shone bright emerald beneath his thick lashes. He had the most exquisite face features and such great hair, so full and messy. He was beautiful, so beautiful.

So beautiful that I had to tear away my eyes from him, because otherwise I would not only be caught ogling by the whole class, but I would probably trip over my own feet on my way to the seat.

I sat down on the seat closest to the wall, sighing contently at the fact that I managed to stay on two feet and away from the ground. I looked at him again, but he still expressed absolutely no interest. It would be silly of me to expect anything else – he was gorgeous and probably the most popular guy in school, so why would he?

I stopped gawking at him and focused on the class. Unfortunately, I was already familiar with the material and couldn't concentrate on it.

For the length of one class, I actually wished I was normal and could fit it better. I wished to be popular, or at least interesting enough for this guy to even bother to look in my direction more than once – and even that was because I accidentally gave myself a paper cut and said: "Ow".

When the bell rang, the guy gathered his things quickly and left. I sighed and got my things, heading to the cafeteria. I spotted Jess immediately, sitting with a few boys and girls. After getting just an apple and a Coke on my tray, I hesitatingly headed towards them, and tapped Jessica on the shoulder.

"Hey," I said as she turned around.

"Yes?" she asked. I looked at her, confused. "Did you want something?" she asked with a confused expression on her face as well. A couple of the girls chuckled.

"Look, you didn't have to ask me to have lunch with you if y-you didn't want," I stuttered.

She laughed awkwardly. "I think you're confusing me with somebody else."

"No, I don't think so," I furrowed my eyebrows. _Seriously, is this girl for real?_

"She wouldn't have told you it was alright for you to sit with us," another girl butted in. "Because she would have to ask us first." She crossed her arms against her chest. "And we would definitely _not_ approve." _This_ blonde was mean.

"Lauren!" Jessica whispered, nudging her.

"You must have confused me with someone else," she repeated herself to me, and I thought that for a split second I saw an apologizing look on her face. I didn't care. Everyone was staring, and all I could feel now was completely humiliated.

"She's right," I heard a voice behind me, a voice that I would recognize anywhere for the next few years. I turned to the guy I sat next to in Biology. So it wasn't enough that he was popular and way out of my league, but he was also trying to humiliate me further? Wasn't this enough already?

Then he smiled to me – the most extraordinary smile I've ever been given – and said, "You must've confused her with me. I was the one who asked you to sit with me."

Everyone looked shocked, myself included. _Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all_. I felt the victory smile spread on my face and I nodded.

"Oh, that's right. Sorry, my bad," I gave Jessica and Lauren a scowl.

The guy dropped his hand around my shoulders casually and led me away from them and to another table, pulling out the chair for me. I was literally blown away by this guy. Not only did he save me, he was also being chivalrous.

"Thank you," I said quietly as he sat down in front of me.

"No problem, those fucking bitches are awful," he said lightly, making me laugh so hard I had to grip my stomach. "What? What did I say?" he asked, amused by my reaction.

"It's just…" I tried to calm myself down. "It's just that it's the first time I've heard anyone swear since I got to this stupid town," I shook my head.

"I didn't realize it was a positive thing to swear," he said and opened my Coke for me. I smiled shyly and sipped from it. I wasn't a shy girl, but this guy was simply out of this world.

"It's just refreshing, I guess. Hey, aren't you going to eat anything?" I asked, realizing he didn't get himself a tray.

"Aren't you?" he raised an eyebrow and eyed the lone apple on my tray. I didn't really feel hungry, and I guessed he didn't either.

"Good point," I said. "How did you know my name, anyway?"

"I was in your Calculus class when the teacher introduced you," he said. "In the back."

"Oh," I nodded. "So what's _your_ name?"

"Edward Cullen," he said. "I'd shake your hand, but that would probably give us away." He was referring, of course, to the group of people who laughed at me beforehand. "I'm kind of in love with your name."

I nearly choked on my drink. That was an uncommon thing to say.

My eyes dropped to the table and I blushed. You're blushing? _What are you, twelve? He said he was in love with your name, not with _you_, dumbass_!

"Are you okay?" he asked, and I looked up. He was gazing at me, and his eyes held a certain intensity that I've never seen in my life. It's like his eyes managed to lock onto mine until he decided I could look somewhere else.

"Sure, yeah. Thank you, although I don't see what's so special about it," I shrugged, trying to keep the conversation on the lighter side, despite of Edward's tendency to make things intense.

"It's a beautiful name… Bella," he said it like he was testing it, how it sounded. And it sounded wondrous coming out of that particular pair of pouty lips.

"I want to ask you something, Edward," I said. I was curious about something, and also – I really wanted to keep that fucking red hue off my cheeks. He raised his eyebrows questioningly.

"Well, I just…" I started. "I don't really get why you came to my rescue like that. I mean, you don't even know me. You haven't said a word to me in class."

"I'm sorry about that," he said in his low, velvet voice that made me gulp. "I just tend to keep to myself around here."

"So why talk to me now?" I was curious once again; mainly as to why would someone like _him_ would possibly want to talk to someone like _me_.

"Because I can see that you're different from everyone else here," he answered, and again I was unwillingly trapped in his gaze… or maybe willingly. "Besides, you look like you can use a friend," he leaned in slightly towards me, glancing at the Triple P girls who were still looking in our direction while talking.

"And how do you know that once you get to know me, you still even want to be my friend?" I raised an eyebrow. I didn't know why I asked that question. It was a possibility, and one I definitely resented, but still a possibility.

"Why wouldn't I want to be your friend?" he narrowed his eyes.

"Well, what if you realize that we have nothing in common and that you actually dislike me? Or worse, bored with me?" I asked. By this point, I was just interested in what he had to say. I couldn't help but feel fascinated by this person, Edward _panty dropping_ Cullen.

"I won't ever be bored with you, I promise," he laughed softly, permanently changing my opinion about angels only existing in heaven, if there was such a place.

_Oh god. I am royally screwed._

"And why would having nothing in common get in the way of our friendship?"

"Uh, because we'd have nothing to talk about?" I replied.

"Oh, we'd have enough to talk about, we'll just be arguing a lot."

I felt warm. I don't know why, but I couldn't help but think how hot it would probably be, arguing with Edward. _God, what is wrong with me? It must be the stupid weather. Must be._

"I must say that you are a mystery to me, Swan," he wrinkled his forehead, as if examining me.

"I-I am?" I stammered again. _Again with the fucking stammering! What the hell?_

"I could tell why blushed when I complimented you before, but why were you getting all rosy just a moment ago?"

_Uh, I don't know. Maybe because the thought of fighting with you dreads me and turns me on all at the same time_?

"No reason. It just happens sometimes," I sipped my drink, finding it incredibly hard to swallow. He seemed to have dropped the subject and picked up my schedule from the table. Then he smiled that damn sexy crooked smile again.

"Come on, I have the rest of the day to try and figure you out. We have matching schedules," he grinned.

"Go ahead and try, Cullen. But I'm not so sure you're going to succeed," I shook my head with a smirk.

"That's because you don't know me yet," he winked.

_Definitely screwed_.


	3. The Well Defined Plan

_A/N: Hello people! Again, thank you for reading my story and for reviewing (although I only got two actual reviews to chapter 2 from Cam_illa (thanks so much for your comments and questions!) and cullengirl08 (thank you and I hope you keep liking it!) and another review of excitement from I love rob always who is completely awesome, but reviewed before she read the chapter lol :)_

_Anyways, I don't care about getting many reviews but I do want to know your opinions of the story and whether I should keep going with it, and where would you like to see it go._

_So, I'm going to jump between flashbacks from their past as best friends to the present – to see how they both try to change their relationship and all. I've figured out some interesting details about the whole thing so I'm excited!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I just make lemonade out of it._

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**Chapter 3: The Well Defined Plan.**

_4 years ago, Danny's Diner, Forks._

"What are you getting?" Edward looked at the menu before him, scrutinizing it like it was of his favorite books, like Of Mice and Men.

I looked at him, concerned. He was avoiding, as always. It's been the same story every year at this specific date – for the past two years, and today. He was always distant, even sad, but wouldn't agree to address the issue at hand.

"Would you stop looking at me like that?" he said knowingly, without even lifting his eyes from the menu.

"I'm not looking at you. I'm trying to decide what I'll have for breakfast," I said, ducking my eyes to my own menu.

Edward always skipped school when this day of the year came, and I skipped school with him to keep him company, ever since we became friends. This was the third time. We liked to go to Danny's Diner, because no one who knew my dad ever came in here, so there wasn't a chance of him finding out.

"No, you're not. You always order the exact same meal – waffles and a chocolate banana shake," he said, lifting his eyes to look at me. I gave him a stern look.

"Then why did you ask me what I was getting?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Because I was hoping you'd try to be more original this time," he said.

Today, he was going to be either distant or annoying, and I actually preferred annoying. At least he didn't look so heartrending.

He signaled the waitress to come over, and asked her for two waffles and two chocolate banana shakes.

"Coming right up," she smiled widely to him, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder as she left. I rolled my eyes. I was used to girls hitting on Edward by that point, and it was always embarrassing. For them, that is. I thought he was attractive just as much as the next girl, but I didn't feel the need to humiliate myself by popping open an extra button on my shirt or trying to make my voice sound like the one of a porn star.

Usually, I would point out to him how obviously flirty the girl was, and he would say I'm crazy, and that it didn't even matter because he didn't need some airhead when he had me. Not today, though.

I watched him gaze through the window at the raindrops falling. How depressing. He looked thoughtful, playing with the salt shaker in his hands absentmindedly, and although I really wanted to give him his space, I couldn't bare to see the look on his face.

"What the hell, Bella? I thought I told you to stop looking at my like that," he snapped at me. _Oops, caught_.

"Well, I wouldn't be looking at you like that if you'd just talk to me," I folded my arms against my chest.

"I _am_ talking to you," he looked at me like I was crazy.

"Yeah, about everything except what you really want to talk about," I grunted.

"I told you, I don't want to talk about it. Not to you, not to anyone. What's the fucking point, anyway?"

"The point is, it might help if you just talked about it instead of…" I was contemplating about how to end the sentence.

"It stopped raining. I think we'll be able to do some hiking later. Nothing too much, though. Wouldn't want you to slip in the mud."

I groaned. "Stop changing the subject! You've been doing it all day!"

He sighed as well and lowered his voice as he spoke. "What do you want me to say, Bella? That I miss them? Of course I do. That I'm thinking about heading over to that fucking bastard's home and killing him? Well, I am. Why do you have to be so fucking pushy all the time?"

He was right. An ass, but still right.

I knew all this. I knew he missed his parents like crazy, ever since they died in a car accident when he was 12 years old. I knew that the drugged out driver came to apologize to him three years ago, and that Edward wanted to kill him for taking them away. He loved his foster parents, Carlisle and Esme, but they weren't his birth parents. They weren't the ones who raised him, changed his diapers and taught him how to play the piano.

"I just don't like seeing you like this," I said, placing both my hands over his hand and lightly stroking it with my thumbs. It was a friendly gesture. There was no harm in it, as long as Edward didn't know they way it made me feel whenever we touched. He stopped playing with the salt shaker and smiled to me weakly.

"You know it's just today, Bells. I'll be fine tomorrow," he said. I nodded. "Sorry for being such an idiot."

_It's okay, you're still perfect to me._

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "It's okay. I'm used to it."

* * *

_Today, Crappy Seattle Apartment._

It's been a week since Edward's last visit, and still no calls. I thought about calling him – you know, be an independent woman who doesn't need to sit around and then jump every time someone calls her. It was never him, of course. But I knew that if I called him and he would come over again, it would just end up like last time. In total surrender.

_I have zero will power._

I needed to plan out everything in advance, so I could follow this defined plan and stay focused on talking, rather than letting him all-too-willingly get in my panties.

I needed to plan exactly what I'm going to say, exactly where I'm going to stand (preferably at a safe distance from the sex god), exactly what I'm going to wear, and hopefully I could get some kind of message through to him before anything happens. Cause, let's face it. Something was going to happen, it always did.

This _was_ Edward _superb fuck guaranteed_ Cullen. Something always happened.

But right now it was time to go to work.

I grabbed my keys and walked to the independent book store where I worked – until I could get my big break, that is. I was writing short stories and trying to get them published in magazines, newspapers, wherever. I wanted to write a novel, to get published, but I wasn't exactly what you would call a go-getter.

My friend from college, Alice, who worked at the store with me, tried to constantly motivate me and drive me forward. That's the kind of supportive friend she always had been. And ever since I told her about running into my best friend slash unrequited love from high school, she's been trying to help me make the right choices.

"I'm going to do it tonight," I told Alice while I organized some books on the shelf. She was behind the checkout counter, reading a magazine, and when I spoke she lifted her eyes from it and glared at me.

"Bella. Please. You've been saying that forever, and yet I still don't see you doing it," she said, knowing exactly what I'm talking about.

"I'm serious this time, I already called him. I'm going to plan this and follow through," I said with much determination.

"You said the same thing about getting a tattoo, you know," she shook her head and resumed flipping the magazine pages aimlessly.

"That was different, there was… pain involved. And I'm still glad I didn't get that trinity tattoo," I chuckled.

I noticed a copy of Mice and Men that was misplaced and put it back where it should've been – in the special place I designated for the copies of this book. I felt somehow sentimental about it, so I kept all the copies at the bottom corner of the shelf, where people scarcely ever looked. It wasn't only one of Edward's favorites, but it was also the first one he had made me read in the long line of books he wanted us to share thoughts about and movies he wanted us to watch together. I smiled. It was special.

"That's exactly why you're not going to do this, Bells. You and I both know that you're afraid of any kind of possible pain."

"I know," I sighed.

"But I think you still should go for it," she said.

"I know."

"I think you girls need to stop yapping and do some actual work," my boss emerged from her office and pointed out to a couple of customers who entered the store a moment earlier. "There are clients who need help, Alice. Bella will take over the cashier."

My boss was the kind of woman who seemed tough or even bitchy, but she really wasn't. She was very fair and considerate. I guess that in that area, it didn't help that she looked like an America's Next Top Model contestants.

"No problem, boss," Alice winked to her and went to help the customers.

"Oh, and Bella, I've got your bonus check right here," she handed me an envelope. "I know you're trying to save up for a better laptop."

I took the envelope with a huge grin. "Thank you so much, Rosalie. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."

"No problem. I'll be in my office," she said. "And don't forget you're covering for Jake tomorrow."

"Okay," I nodded as she went back to her office.

Jake worked at the store as well, and though he wasn't close to me like Alice was (and definitely not like Edward was), we were still friends and covered for each other in case of need. And now it was another 4 hours before he would get here and take over the shift.

I passed that time forming my helpful plan before I headed home and got ready. After I had some dinner I took a long, relaxing shower and put on some very modest clothes – a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt with a zip up hoodie over it.

And then I waited. Everyone knows that a watched pot will not boil, but I figured I wasn't technically watching my doorbell, so it might still ring.

I was semi watching a Friends marathon on television, and it was two and a half chapters into the marathon that the doorbell rung. As always, I rushed to the door, practically fucking bouncing, and opened it.

Edward wasted no time. He came inside in a flash, closed the door behind him and pulled me to him for a searing kiss.

_No, no, no! He can't do this! I had a plan!_ I whined internally.

Just then he pulled away and smiled devilishly to me, his green eyes bright with excitement. He looked like a dream.

"I've missed you so much," he said, not letting me respond. Instead, he crashed his lips once more to mine with fierceness.

It felt so good to have his body perfectly pressed up against mine. I could feel every inch of it, including his very obvious hard on. He held my face between the palms of his hands as he continued to kiss me, his tongue caressing mine over and over, and walking us both slowly forward towards my bedroom.

"Too much," he whispered against my lips, as he unzipped my hoodie and discarded it.

"Wait, wait," I whispered back against his. "I have something to say to you." I didn't sound so convincing, though, since my voice was breathless and I could just imagine the lusty look that read on my face. He kept moving forward, both of us gazing at each other through halfway closed eyelids, our lips just an inch apart.

"After," he decided quickly and the softness of his lips descended on mine again, making me moan into him in surrender. By the moment we reached my bedroom, I was feeling dizzy; it wasn't just the lack of oxygen, it was _him_, his sweet scent clouding my senses.

_Screw it. I'll be much better at this talking thing afterwards._

He stopped in front of my bed and tossed me on the purple bed cover, climbing to hover over my body. I felt like I was going to literally die if he didn't put out the fire he started.

I sat up, making him move slightly backwards, and lifted my own shirt above my head to throw it aside, and then did the same to his shirt while tracing my fingers up his muscular torso.

"You look so fucking gorgeous," he said, pressing his lips to mine hungrily again, making me almost whimper with want.

The rest of our clothes were gone so fast that it wouldn't be picked up by the naked eye. I grabbed his hair and pulled him down to me forcefully, making him smile smugly at my willingness.

"Fuck, I love that you want me so bad," his voice was low, his breathing ragged.

I captured his smug bottom lip between my teeth and gave it a small bite, as my fingers entwined themselves in the dishevelment of his hair. He groaned and let his hands roam my body, giving me a tingling sensation wherever he touched. I moaned, releasing his lips from mine to allow them to move down to my neck.

"I can feel how much _you_ want _me_," I said, grinding upwards against his unbelievably hard erection and biting my lip.

I let out a small yelp when he suddenly sat up, grabbed me by the hips and lifted me up to press me against my large headboard. He positioned himself to sit on his knees, leaning on his heels in front of me. Then he positioned me on top of his erect cock, lowering me down on it.

"Edward," I whispered as he pressed our foreheads together, my hair falling down on his beautiful face.

"Bella," he grunted and started pushing into me, supporting my weight with his hands and guiding me onto him. "So warm."

I moaned with each of his thrusts, realizing just how much I've missed Edward, how much I've missed this physical contact between us.

He took my erect nipple in his mouth, sucking it gently and making me throw my head back against the headboard. I clung with my nails to his back as I moved on top of him in circular motions, bringing myself closer to my sweet release.

He groaned loudly against my skin as he kissed along it and tightened his grip on me, allowing himself to pound into me forcefully. I could tell that he needed me as much as I needed him, that he truly did miss me. I could even detect some sort of emotion in his facial expressions, in his moans, in his movements – but I couldn't tell for sure.

I cried out as the sensations took over me. All I felt was Edward, all around me and inside me, penetrating my deepest desires. His eyes were filled with lust, just before he moved my hair backwards to kiss my neck, pulling at the skin with his teeth and murmuring my name against it.

"Cum for me, love," I heard him say, his voice taking a desperate tone, like he needed it. Almost like he was begging for it.

"Edward, fuck yes!" I yelled out and buried my face in his neck as well, feeling the electric pull reaching the break point, and completely lost it. I was panting heavily and biting onto his shoulder as I felt my whole body quivering from head to tow, and I got my release. Not a moment later, he pulled back from my neck to savagely kiss me on the lips, groaning loudly as his own release came. We stayed like that, holding each other's sleek, still shaking bodies.

"Bella," he whispered again.

"Edward," I whispered back with a smile.

***********

"Now can we talk?" I asked as we collected some of our clothes to partially get dressed.

"How about some more dirty talk?" he winked and kissed me chastely on the lips after he put on his boxers.

"Edward, I'm serious," I grinned, making a mental note to request that dirty talk later.

"These are some really nice sheets. Are they new?" he asked. He was sitting on the side of my bed and moving his hand back and forth, as if to feel the fabric. I was sitting with my back against the headboard, in my t-shirt and underwear.

"Yeah, I got them on sale… wait, no, that's not the point," I said, shaking my head to try and find my string of thought.

"You know, I saw there was a huge sale at that houseware store that you love by that Chinese place," he continued his own.

"Really?" I gasped.

_I love that store! I would have to go down there and… shit! He's doing this on purpose!_

"Yeah. Hey, you feel like ordering takeout from that Chinese place?" he said as he climbed back on the bed to sit beside me.

I glared at him. He was doing it again. What he always did when he didn't want to talk about something. Trying to avoid the subject.

"No, I don't want to order fucking takeout. I just want to talk. What the fuck is this, Edward?"

"What's what? I'm starving!" he defended.

"I don't get what your problem is, really. It's just talking, words, blah blah blah!" I said, crossing my arms against my chest.

I felt a sharp pain creeping up my body, because I couldn't help but think about the reason he was avoiding this subject. He didn't feel the same. He didn't want more. If I gave him the ultimatum, he would leave forever. For Christ sake, he avoided talking about his parents' death, and about us getting together. _That_ made me feel fucking super.

"We're talking right now, aren't we?" he said impatiently, running a hand through his messy hair.

"Oh yeah, you wanna talk about the weather, too?" I said, remembering how frustrated I've always felt about this habit of his.

"Look, I don't know what you're mad at me for," he started.

"Don't do that, okay? Don't fucking play innocent. You know exactly what you're doing," I accused, raising my voice, as I got up from the bed to stand.

"Yes, I do," he said and got up, walking to stand before me. "I don't want to talk about this right now. You're always so goddamn pushy! Can't we just… eat, or talk about something else? Or go to sleep?"

_I'm pushy. Okay. Way to make me feel pathetic for wanting you, Edward._

I shook my head slowly, biting my lip so the tears wouldn't escape.

"No," I said, nearly whispering. "If you don't want to talk about this thing between us, then you should leave."

"Bella…" he said quietly, softly, as he took a step towards me. I raised a hand in front of me to keep him from getting any closer. I kept letting him get too close, giving him too much control over me, and I always ended up getting hurt.

"Please. I want to be alone, okay?" I whispered now.

"You don't want me to spend the night?" he whispered as well, and took my hand, using it to pull me closer to him. I darted away from his look, but didn't pull my hand away.

"You don't want to sleep in my arms, on top of my chest?" he placed my hand on his chest, where his heart is, and I could feel it beating frantically. I didn't know what to think anymore, and his sweet breath that was now fanning across my face surely didn't help. I needed time alone to figure things out.

I pulled my hand away and moved slightly backwards.

"You should leave now," I said weakly, deliberately not answering his questions. Of course I _wanted_ him to stay, but I _needed _him to go.

"Okay," he said in a low voice, picking up his things and leaving my room.

I sat on my bed and put one hand over my mouth to muffle the sob that I felt was about to escape. I think he heard it anyway, because it took him a long time to get out. It was just so tiring to be in love with someone who doesn't love you back, who doesn't even like you as more than a friend, for so many years.

The problem was, I didn't want to get over Edward Cullen. Not at all. I rather be in pain than lose him forever. That's what made me just so fucking pathetic.

* * *

Edward's POV:

I wanted to stay. I wanted to hold her all night long. Heck, I wanted to hold her forever. But she wanted me to leave.

I understood.

She was getting tired of this situation. She wanted more, I couldn't give it to her just yet, and I didn't want to make false promises in the meantime. That's the reason I tried to direct her off the subject, but she wouldn't give up. She was the same old Bella, never giving up on me. It was one of the things I loved about her most, and now I was fucking scared that she'd give up soon.

I needed to put my plan in motion, and fast. The well defined plan to get my act together and be a man, so I could be with Bella, if she'd still have me by then.

Quit the band, get a real job, save money, rent a better place than my lousy apartment, and go back to school to finish my business management degree. Of course, I left school in the first place to become a musician, but that wasn't working out. I could barely make it through the month, so how would I be able to take Bella out? Buy her things? I needed to get a stable job and grow the fuck up.

Before it's too late.

* * *

_So – to all of you who are probably wondering, Edward has a band with Jasper and Emmett, who will make their appearance soon enough ;) hehe hoped you liked it! Please review so I can get some feedback!_


	4. The Sucker

_A/N: Wow, thanks so much! Your reviews were wonderful, and I'm so glad you liked it! Makes me feel good about continuing this story, it's really growing on me, too! Love you guys! And sorry if it took me a while to update, I have a lot going on but I honestly try my hardest not to delay writing! Thanks for the patience! And please continue to review and give me feedback, good or bad!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I just put a couple of twists to it :)_

_

* * *

  
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**Chapter 4: The Sucker.**

_4 years ago, Forks High._

Mike Newton was really blonde. And really not my taste.

I never enjoyed any sort of attention, but I guess at least the attention he was giving me now was positive. I mean, at least he wasn't giving me a wedgy or anything, not that I've ever had the pleasure of receiving one, but it looked painful.

He said he wanted to be friends, and even though I could tell he was interested (since he looked at me the way girls often looked at Edward) and I could see the potentially problematic situation that could develop if we were friends, I agreed. As long as we would keep it on a _just friends_ basis, I didn't see any harm to it. Besides, I better have some sort of support system for the day Edward gets a girlfriend and his time with me will decrease to about five percent. Let's face it – it was bound to happen sooner or later.

I knew Edward wouldn't be too happy about it, though, so I tried not to make a big thing out of it. If Mike asked to hang out sometime, I decided I would tell Edward I was just busy. It was ridiculous. I was allowed to have friends besides Edward, right? Then why did I feel like I was friend-cheating on him?

I was getting some books for my next class from my locker. Mike was doing the same, and then closed his own locker which was besides mine, leaning on it with his hand.

"So, uh… you want to go see a movie this Friday? Or something?" he asked, sporting a nervous smile.

"Um… I don't know," I replied truthfully. That seemed too much like a date to me.

"There's this romantic comedy playing… A Lot Like Love. You know it?"

I closed the locked and leaned with my shoulder against it, hugging my books to my chest. "It sounds kind of cheesy. Besides, Ashton Kutcher bugs me."

"Really? I thought chicks dig that guy. Well, what do you want to see, then?"

"Well, there's that movie, Just Friends. I heard it was _the best_," I said, almost chuckling at my own hint.

"Oh, isn't that the one where the guy tried to be more than friends with the girl and finally succeeds?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow. _Damn_.

"You're right, that one's corny too. Let's just hang out tomorrow, get some pizza or something," I suggested. Pizza was very non-date like.

"That sounds –"

"Heeey, Bells," Edward crept up from behind me, throwing his arm around my shoulder in a way that was supposed to look casual, but just looked incredibly possessive to me.

"What are you guys talking about?" he asked.

"We were just making plans for tomorrow," Mike said, looking all smug.

"Well, Bells, you can't. Don't you remember you already have plans for tomorrow?" Edward said, toying with a strand of my pony tail.

"I don't _have_ anything planned, Edward. What are you doing?" I said between clenched teeth.

"Whatever, Cullen. I know what you're trying to do, and we can always hang out some other time if she has plans," Mike countered.

"No, I'm serious," Edward said with smooth, honest face. "You asked me to drive you to your gynecologist appointment, to get that weird thing you have checked out, remember?"

My jaw dropped in a second.

_Oh hell no. That idiot did not just say what I think he said, did he?_

"Umm… I guess I'll see you some… other time, Bella," Mike said and walked away before I could even react.

"You fucking jerk!" I pushed Edward away from me and started walking towards class with a scowl on my face.

"What? What did I do?" Edward asked, following behind me and chuckling.

"Oh, come on!" I said, not stopping.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry, alright? I was just looking out for you. Bella, come on, please just stop for a second."

I stopped and sighed.

"Am I not allowed to have any other friends beside you, Edward? God, now he's going to tell a bunch of people about it and I'll be the laughing stock of the entire school again. Thanks a lot."

"If he's going to tell that to people, then he isn't much of a friend, now is he?" Edward raised his eyebrows at me. He had a point there, but it still didn't make it right.

"Why did you do that?" I asked. I guess I wished he would say he was in love with me, since being delusional was all part of my personality.

"Like I said, I was looking out for you. That prick was just trying to get in your pants," Edward's jaw clenched as he spat out the last word. Being protective was part of Edward's personality.

"The only prick here is you! What if I _wanted_ him to get in my pants?" I asked.

"Please. He's not your type, Bella. He's blonde, for god's sakes."

"Well, that's beside the point! And don't sit next to me in class," I said and stalked off into the classroom, leaving him behind.

I was sitting at our usual desk, but alone. Edward sat one table next to me, and moved the table slightly towards me until he was practically at the same distance as he would be if he were sitting next to me. I rolled my eyes.

In the middle of class, he handed me a note, careful not to be detected by the teacher's radar.

_**I'm really sorry, Bells. I'll tell him it wasn't true.**_

I sighed and wrote down on the same piece of paper.

_**I don't care about him. You just can't do shit like that, it's my life.**_

I handed him the note and saw the corners of his lips curl upwards into the smile that I loved so much. The one that made me melt right there, or at least melting was a possible explanation to the wetness I felt between my legs. He wrote something down and passed it back to me.

_**Promise. Forgive me? Please?**_

I rolled my eyes again and nodded to him. His smile turned into a brilliant grin right then.

_As if I could just _not_ forgive you, you stupid gorgeous man_, I thought.

I was a sucker for Edward and his smiles, and his stupid 'forgive me' pout. I forgave him again, like I always did, every time.

_Such a sucker._

* * *

_Today, shabby Seattle nightclub._

"I thought you said this was supposed to be fun," I shouted to Alice through the blaring music.

This really wasn't my "scene". Lots of noise, drunken people all around, men and women dirty dancing themselves into oblivion.

"What?" she shouted back, signaling with her hand that she couldn't hear me.

"I thought you said this was supposed to be fun!" I repeated louder.

"Oh! We need a few drinks for the fun to start!" she said.

Well, I guess you don't mind being around drunken people as much if you're one of them. I shrugged as we made our way to the bar, sitting on the stools.

"Hey, could you hook me up with a couple of martinis and four tequila shots? Thanks," she said to the bartender.

"Alice, four tequila shots? Isn't that a little much? You're only a tiny person," I said.

"No, silly," she laughed. "Two for me, and two for you."

"Here you go," the bartender put the drinks in front of us.

"Thanks," she grinned to him, gaining a wink on his behalf, before he went to serve other people.

Alice cocked a brow in my direction. "_Cute_ one, isn't he?"

"I guess," I answered. He was a blonde – so obviously he wasn't my type – but he had nice features and a well shaped body. I could see why he would be other girls' type, ones that weren't desperately in love with their fuck buddy.

"Definitely 10 out of 10 on the Alice scale," she appraised.

"Go pick him up or whatever," I suggested.

"No, no, no. Tonight is about you, Bella. We're going to make sure you have fun, and we'll start by downing these shots!" She raised one of the shots and I did the same. "To my girl, who doesn't need a man to have fun!"

"I'll drink to that," I said, and we both drank the shot. "And to my best friend, who just gave up a 10 out of 10 for me!" I said, downing the second shot together with Alice.

***

_One hour, one embarrassing attempt to dance, and two vodka martinis later._

"I don't think I'm having fun, Alice," I said grimly, only semi drunk but still not getting to the fun place.

"Aww, Bells. He really got you, didn't he?" She grimaced.

I nodded. "I think I'm going to take a cab home. Are you coming?"

"I think I'm gonna hang around here for a little while longer if that's okay with you," she said.

"Of course, you have a good time and keep an eye on yourself, okay?" she nodded.

I locked my apartment door behind me, taking off my coat and hanging it. I slowly walked towards the living room, getting myself out of my painful heels on the way to the couch, and plumped down on it with a tired sigh.

I must've been really tired, because I fell asleep on the couch in my dress. I woke up to the sound of my cell phone.

The phone read 1:09am – which means I've been sleeping for an hour – and Edward Cullen calling.

I thought about it for a moment, and decided to answer. Of course I did.

"Hey," I said quietly.

"Hey, uh… are you asleep?" he asked.

"No, I'm just… no. Why?" Well, I was technically not asleep.

"Could you open the door for me?" he asked, pleading in his voice.

"You're here?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah. Please?"

"Okay," I said and hung up, getting up to open the door and fixing my hair on my way to the door. At least I was pretty in a dress and all that.

"Hi," I said as I opened the door, looking Edward up and down. He was wearing plain black jeans with a grey hoodie, but he never failed to make even plain looking clothes look superb on his body.

_You're still mad at him, remember?_ I reminded myself, although I couldn't quite remember why exactly I was mad, not while looking at those bright green eyes.

"Wow," he breathed. "You should wear dresses more often."

"Thank you," I said quietly and blushed.

"Do you mind if I come in?" he asked in his smooth voice.

I sighed and nodded, pulling the door open for him. We went to sit on the living room couch quietly. I was going to wait for him to speak, and I didn't have to wait long.

"Bella, I'm… sorry for avoiding when you wanted to talk. I keep forgetting that you know me better than anyone," he looked down at his hands and smiled. "I acted like a real jerk saying those things to you about being pushy and everything."

"It wasn't just that, Edward," I shook my head, embracing a newfound courage in me. "I just don't know if I can keep doing this friends with benefits thing."

He nodded slowly. "That's actually part of the reason I wanted to avoid talking about this for now. I'm not sure that I can give you what you need, Bella."

"Oh," I gulped. I knew this would happen. Rejection. He didn't want to be any more than what we were now. Well, I guess I had that coming.

"Look," he returned his gaze up to face me. "How about we just be friends for now, and we'll figure the rest as we go along?" he suggested. I thought it was his way of rejecting me in a nice way, but I had to take whatever he gave me if I didn't want to lose him altogether. I had to stop having meaningless sex with him for my own good.

_Was it meaningless? Cause it sure didn't feel like it. It felt more meaningful than anything we've ever said to each other._

"I can work with that," I nodded, trying to smile. I think I would be much sulkier if I didn't still hold on to the hope that I still had a shot with him. "Can I ask you something, though?"

"Of course," he said, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Do you… have this sort of… settlement like we had, with other women?"

_Please say no, please say no, please oh fucking please say no._

He looked stunned for a moment, which I took to be a good sign.

"No," he cleared his throat. "And I don't intend on doing that with anyone else." He sounded resolved on the matter. I narrowed my eyes questioningly. He must've gotten his words wrong, because he just said he wouldn't have sex with anyone but me. "I mean, at least not until we get this thing between us sorted out," he rectified himself as he noticed my confusion.

"Thanks," I nodded in gratitude.

"So am I forgiven?" he asked, aiming those puppy dog eyes and sexy pouty lips at me.

"You always are, aren't you?" I rolled my eyes at him, and he grinned widely in return, and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. This felt right. It felt like old times, like he was opening up to me again.

"Oh, and stop disappearing on me for a week at a time, okay?" I grunted. "It's fucking rude." I felt proud of myself for being brave enough to lay out all my issues with him down.

"Okay," he laughed. "Sorry about being fucking rude too, then."

_Like I could be mad when your laughter sounds like redemption sounds to an inmate on death row_.

"So what do you want to do now?" I asked. Now that fucking was out of the question – damnit – I wondered what he would want us to be up to.

"Hmm…" he pondered for a moment. "Well, what do friends do?"

"I guess friends hang out," I said, reminded of the old times. "Remember when we used to hang out? And, not fuck each other in the process?"

"Ah, the old times. No, can't say I miss being completely platonic," he laughed and I slapped his thigh playfully. I actually agreed with him on this one.

"Do you realize this is the first time we get to _really_ talk since we re-found each other?" I asked.

"Well, tell me about everything I've missed. What ended up happening with you and Black?" he asked.

Jacob Black. I started dating him at the end of high school and one year after that until we broke up. We stayed friends, not close friends though. He did work at the bookstore, but I kept a certain distance from him. The last thing I needed was to get into _that_ again.

"We dated a year through college, and then we broke up."

"Why?" he asked with genuine interest.

"Just didn't work out," I said, dodging Edward's look. One of the main reasons that we had broken up was because Jake knew I had feelings for Edward, even when we weren't speaking anymore.

"Oh," he nodded.

"Why did you drop out of college?" I asked. I'd been wanting to ask him since we ran into each other and he told me he dropped out.

"I was studying business management, until I just realized that I wanted to be a musician and nothing else. But I'm going back to school soon."

I raised my eyebrows with surprised. "Really? But what about your dream?" Edward was a brilliant pianist, and excelled the guitar. I always knew he would be a great musician, and I didn't want to see him give up.

"Well, I figured I could get my degree, and then try and go for it. To be safe."

"I guess that makes sense," I nodded. "As long as you don't lose sight of what you really want to do."

He smiled brightly. "I'd like to think that I'll have you to remind me, if I do," he said, his gaze upon my face effectively turning my insides out.

"You do," I nodded. "I'll always be here, if you want me to be."

"I'll always want you to be here," he promised sincerely, making my heart pound loudly.

We sat on my couch until 6 in the morning, just talking about anything and everything. About the stuff we still like since high school and what we don't anymore, about everything we've been through since our separation. It felt as if we've never fallen out, and frankly, I think I fell even more in love with Edward Cullen, if that were even possible.

_Damn, I'm screwed._


	5. The Disappearing Act

_A/N: Hey everyone! I'm so, so glad you enjoy this story! And I'm very grateful that you take your time to tell me I'm doing a good job, it's really important to me, and it really motivates me! So thanks a bunch to my lovely Jerz, and to I Love Rob Always, Cullengirl08, and cam_illa, for the reviews! Love youse!_

_This chapter might raise some questions, but the next one will be from Edward's POV and will explain his side of things :) hope you enjoy! And tell me if you think something seemed unreasonable to you, k?_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, blah blah blah._

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**Chapter 5: The Disappearing Act.**

_4 years ago, La Push Reservation._

There was total silence inside the garage, except for the sounds of two horny teenagers making out on a couch, with no fear of getting caught. Billy Black was on a wheelchair, a fact I felt bad about, but that proved to be useful for such situations – he couldn't bring himself to the garage on his own.

Jake was lying on top of me, and his lips were soft and warm, moving relentlessly against mine. There was only one thing controlling me at that point – hormones. Because I may have thought Jacob was hot, but we both knew I didn't feel as strongly about him as he did about me. Those lips weren't Edward's. That hand, running alongside my fully clothes body, wasn't Edward's. It wasn't Edward's scent, either.

This was about comfort. About fulfilling my basic human need for closeness.

I _needed_ someone's warmth, someone who made me feel wanted, desired, and loved. I _needed_ to forget about Edward as more than a friend, because I knew that would never happen. It hasn't so far, in our 3 years of nothing but friendship.

Jake was there, and he actually did want me. He was sweet and thoughtful, and pretty good looking, too. He was tall, dark and handsome, with short black hair and a great smile.

So I didn't love Jacob Black, but I wanted him here with me, and my body wanted him to be close, preferably while making out. I knew he would be, without a doubt, the proper remedy to my broken heart and the unrequited feelings I had for Edward.

Being with Jake also helped my growing anxiety these days, as graduation was right around the corner, that Edward would soon find someone that would mean everything to him. That I would be left aside to be the bitter girl who lusts after her taken best friend. I didn't want to be that girl, and with Jake around – I wouldn't be. We would both have each other and someone else, too. It was a win-win situation, really, besides the fact that I still couldn't bring myself to forget about Edward and his perfection.

I sighed against Jacob and pulled away. "It's getting late," I said, breathless.

"Come on, give me ten more minutes," he said with a smile and started nibbling on my lip playfully.

"Seriously," I cupped his face between my hands and laughed softly. "If I'm not home soon, Charlie will drive down here with his _rifle_."

Jake cleared his throat. "Yeah, you know, it's getting late, I should drive you home."

I laughed and nodded as he stood up and helped me get up as well.

"So did you tell Cullen about us yet?" he asked me in the car, on our way to my house."

"No, not yet," I replied.

He raised his eyebrow and gave me a look of disapproval.

"What? We don't tell each other _everything_," I lied.

"You're not going to tell him that you have a boyfriend?" he asked, turning his look back to the road.

"I just don't know how he's going to react. He's very protective of me."

"Yeah, I'll bet he is," Jake said grimly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I wrinkled my forehead.

"He probably has a thing for you, Bella," he said. My heart skipped a few beats, thanks to the sharp pain his words caused in my chest. _Yeah, I wish he was_.

"Don't ever say that again," I said quietly, shaking my head.

"Okay, I won't," he said, seeing how serious I looked.

We didn't talk to each other until we reached my house, and he pulled over near the driveway.

"I think I get it," he said as the car stopped, and I looked at him questioningly. "You have feelings for him."

I nodded, diverting my eyes from his, trying to stop the tears from forming, quite successfully. I was getting good at it. If he only knew the extent of those feelings.

"Don't worry, Bella. I'll make you forget about him. Someday you'll be so in love with me that you won't even remember why you liked him in the first place," he said confidently, or was it encouragingly?

_That was sweet of him nonetheless._

I smiled to him and leaned in to peck his lips before running inside my house before Charlie freaks out.

"Dad?" I called, closing the back door behind me and locking it. There was no answer.

I walked into the living room and found him snoring away on the couch. I chuckled.

"Great," I whispered to myself, shaking my head. _I could've stayed at Jake's and he wouldn't even notice_.

I went upstairs as quietly as possible, closing my bedroom door almost with no sound at all, and turned around.

"Oh god!" I gasped. Edward was sitting in my old rocking chair, waiting.

"Welcome home," he said. "And you might want to keep it down, unless you want Charlie to wake up."

"Edward, you scared the hell out of me!" I whispered angrily. My heart was still pounding, either from shock, or from the fact that Edward was so close to me. "Don't you fucking ever do that again!"

"Sorry," he chuckled and got up. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Well, what are you doing here?" I asked, taking off my shoes.

Edward used to do this – climb up the tree and into my bedroom window. Sometimes he would spend the entire night in my bed and we just talked to each other, or slept. He usually did this when he knew I was upset over something, or sensed I needed to talk to someone.

"I tried calling you earlier, but Charlie said you were gone."

"Yeah, I was," I said casually and sat on the bed.

"He said you were down in La Push."

"Yeah?"

"You're not gonna tell me what you were doing down at the reservation?" he cocked an eyebrow in my direction.

"You're not gonna tell me what you're doing in my room?" I countered.

"I was waiting for you, now will you answer me?" he requested.

I sighed. "I'm… kind of seeing Jacob Black."

"Yeah, I know," he said.

_He knows? How could he possibly know?_

I rolled my eyes with annoyance at his fake curiosity and persistence that I tell him. "How?"

"I saw him driving you home from your window. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know," I said truthfully. He sat down next to me on the bed.

"You know I don't like that Black kid, right?" he asked calmly. The conversation took a quieter turn, not just because of Charlie, but that was the way we usually talked in my bedroom – quietly, honestly. It was just him and just me. Just us.

"I know," I nodded.

"Do you like him?" he asked.

_Not like I love you._

"Kind of, I guess," I shrugged.

"Why are you even with him, Bella?"

I sighed. I didn't know how to go about answering those questions without giving myself away or lying.

"I'm tired of being alone," I finally said.

"You're not alone. You have me," he furrowed his eyebrows. He looked like he was offended by the answer, but really, what was I supposed to say? _I'm scared to be left alone and shattered once you find some girl, because I'm so in love with you_?

"It's not the same, we're best friends."

He nodded. "We're not going to drift apart now, are we?" he asked with concerned eyes.

I shook my head immediately. It broke my heart that he would even ask.

"I'm not going anywhere," I assured him.

"Okay," he seemed content with my answer.

He spent that night in my room, a fact that seriously pissed off Jake. That was our first fight ever, and the first fight of many to come about Edward.

***************

_Today, Seattle apartment, almost a week and a half since Edward's last visit_.

"I'm sorry for being fucking rude, too," I imitated Edward's words in a mean way. It didn't matter anyway, because I was basically talking to my empty apartment – empty because Edward wasn't here.

Great, now I was pacing.

_Why can't I seem to get over this man? Ever since I've known him, he just screws up time after time, and every fucking time he just bats his pretty eyelashes and gets away with it!_

I was pissed. I was going to give him a piece of my mind, as soon as he…

The doorbell rang.

I walked over to my apartment door and opened it, looking at a very sorry Edward. I crossed my arms against my chest and pursed my lips. He wasn't going to get away with it that easy, not this time. Not when he said he wouldn't disappear for another week, and then went off without showing a proof of life for 9 days.

"Bella, I'm really sorry," he started.

"Just get inside," I said curtly. I needed to demand him to respect me enough to at least call me.

He stepped inside and I closed the door, turning around to face him.

"Now continue," I said, still glaring at him.

"I didn't mean to disappear on you again, I just… I had so many things going on this week, and I got this new job, and everything just distracted me."

"So you couldn't at least call me? Send an email? An owl? Something?" I attacked.

"I know, I know. But I really didn't mean –"

"Funny how you never _mean_ to disappear on me, but then again – you always do," I continued, cutting him off.

"I'm sorry, Bells," he said quietly, batting those eyelashes again.

_God, resisting _that_ is hard. Those eyes, and the pouty lips…_

"No!" I said, mainly to myself, because I was really close to just letting it go. He wasn't even giving any sort of reasonable explanation for this. "This is why we stopped being friends. This is why even though we both went to college in Seattle, we still drifted apart!" I accused.

"What?" he said, raising his voice slightly. He looked completely shocked by my accusation. I was right, though.

"You constantly disappeared on me, sometimes for two weeks at a time! You barely kept in touch; _I_ was the one who always called _you_, and most times you didn't even bother to pick up. I kept us alive until I just realized – you didn't want to be friends with me anymore!" I was out of breath when I finished letting it all out. The reason I always waited for him to call nowadays was exactly this. It was because I was too afraid he would fucking screen me.

"You think _that's_ the reason our friendship fell apart? You think _I'm_ the reason?" he fumed.

_Well, that was kind of harsh,_ one side of me remarked in my head.

The other side of me told it to shut up.

_Come on, what other reason was there?_

I nodded determinedly, my arms across my chest again.

"You really don't have a fucking clue, Bella!" he raised his voice further.

"Go ahead and explain it to me, then," I yelled back.

"It was that boyfriend of yours, that fucker Black!" I stared at him, shocked. "You didn't have a clue back then, either. He was wrong for you, Bella! I had a serious fucking problem with him, and you didn't even notice anything _wrong_ with me. I thought I was your best friend, but you didn't know me enough to tell that I suffered because of your relationship with him."

My mouth opened, as if to say something, but no words would come out.

"You never said anything," I finally managed to weakly say.

"You should've known. You made him your new best friend. I just stepped aside so he could fill the position!" He said as he slowly took a few steps forward.

"That's bullshit, Edward, and you know it! You were always my best friend! Hell, you were my best friend when you were gone for two fucking years!" I cried out, pushing him slightly with my little hands on his chest.

I never did anything on purpose to make him feel like that. It was only natural for me to spend some time with my boyfriend as well.

"He was pushing me out of the way, and you weren't even noticing. You know how much that hurt, Bella?" his face twisted in pain. I hated that, I wanted so much to just take that pain away, but I all I could do was be angry with him. And all I could feel is completely robbed, because it was a stupid fucking reason to ditch your best friend.

"Yeah, I do! About as much as it hurt to have my best friend ignore my calls and phase me out of his life, no explanations whatsoever!"

And then the tears came. I knew it was all a matter of time, and I couldn't stop them when they did. I covered mouth and nose with my hand and tried to face away from him, but he wouldn't let me. He took my hand away and pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me.

I let my head sink in his chest for a moment as the tears flowed, but then shook my head and pushed him away, wiping my tears with the sleeve of my sweater.

"And now you're doing it again! God, you're such a jerk sometimes!" I groaned. His scent was all around me, and I realized my heartbeat was picking up.

"Well you're no picnic either, Bella," he raised his eyebrows. His eyes were vivid in bright green and driving me mad.

"You could've called!" I pushed him again, this time harder. _That's for hurting my feelings and leaving me over the most miserable excuse ever!_

"Would you just let it go? I said I was sorry!" he said, holding my hands hostage in his.

"You said that last time!" I still managed to back him up against the wall.

"I haven't seen any missed calls from you, either!" he said as he turned us around until my own back was against the wall, and put one of his hands on the wall beside my head. His breath was all over me, making me dizzy for a moment, and making me almost forget my witty comeback.

_I was right. Fighting with Edward_ was _hot_.

"Like you wouldn't just screen me!" I took advantage of his exposed abdomen area and pushed him hard against the opposite wall of the small corridor next to the kitchen. My body accidently crashed onto his when I did, and the closeness was fucking painful… in such a good way. _And that's for making me want you so badly, and not wanting to be with me!_

"Why won't you just let it go?" He grasped both my hands in his between our lower bodies. He was scrutinizing my face with an intense gaze, as if trying to find the answer in my eyes.

_Because I can't live without you!_

"Because I'm extremely fucking stubborn! Okay?" I gazed back fiercely for a few moments.

His lips were mere inches from mine, and while a part of me was still angry and frustrated like in the past nine days, another part of me begged for him to narrow the distance. My vision was turning hazy; he just smelled so freaking amazing.

His eyes shot back and forth from my eyes to my lips a few times in one brief moment that felt like forever. The next thing I felt were his lips crashing down on mine forcefully and my back against the wall again. My hands were trapped in one of his, above my head. His taste was intoxicating.

"And extremely fucking sexy," he broke for a second to say.

_Fuck, yeah_.

I wrapped one leg around his body to press him harder to me as my lips parted to grant him full access. His free hand ran up the side of my body to caress it, while his tongue swirled in to meet mine, both of us straining to breathe. I broke from the kiss reluctantly.

"Let go of my hands, _Edward_," I growled. I needed his clothes off, now.

The moment he did, I descended my lips onto his while pushing him back to the previous wall, which was closer to my bedroom, and began to undo the buttons of his shirt at furious speed, almost tearing it from his skin.

I gripped his hair harshly as he moved his lips down my jaw to my neck, while his hands travelled up the hem of my dress on my exposed thigh. I moaned as I felt his fingers meet the silky, moist fabric of my panties and rubbing me in a frustratingly gentle manner. When my legs automatically parted, he took the thin fabric between his fingers and pulled it down, allowing it to pool around my ankles eventually.

Then he moved his hands back up to the straps of my dress, pulling them down slightly, just enough to expose my breasts. I wasted no time when his tongue found my pert nipples; I fidgeted with the buttons of his jeans until they surrendered to my will, and pulled them down along with his boxers. He took his sneakers off with his own feet and stepped out of the jeans, returning his hands to my thighs and his lips to my own.

My hands were all over Edward, trying to feel and take in as much as I could of him, of his smooth, muscular figure. It was inevitable for one of my hands to find his erect cock and make him groan as I gave it a squeeze.

He immediately broke from the kiss and grasped my thighs more firmly, using them to lift me up. I hitched my legs and arms around him, returning my lips to his for a savage kiss, as he moved us so my back was against the wall again for support.

Now, the initial idea was to move this to the bedroom, but hell if I cared if he took me against that corridor wall.

I moved my hand to adjust his cock at my entrance, and he pushed inside my wet depths in one quick motion, causing us both to howl at the same time.

We stared at each other as he drove himself into me, slamming my thighs on his lower body with each forceful time.

"This… doesn't… mean… I forgive you," I panted and moaned between his movements.

"I'm not saying sorry," he grunted. "I'm just letting out aggressions."

I slapped him for that remark – not too harshly, but not gently either. And he fucking deserved it. He looked shocked, but he just picked up the pace of his thrusts.

"That was just fucking hot," he finally said, quirking a smile.

_So the boy likes it rough, huh?_

I shook my head at him and laughed softly for a moment – that is before I started feeling the beginning of that earth shattering, mind blowing sensation, creeping up from my legs and down from my abdomen at the same time.

"Oh god," I cried, digging my nails into his back as he buried his head in my neck and continued shoving his cock inside me roughly, deeper and deeper until I couldn't take it anymore.

"Fuck!" I screamed out along with his name as the sensations took over, followed by a loud groan on Edward's part as I felt him release inside me, biting down on my shoulder hard enough for it to leave some small marks. That delicious pain only intensified the feel of it all, and all I could think was how hot it was that he was branding me as his own.

Edward let me down and kissed me hard on the lips for a moment, grabbing hold of my hair, and then releasing me completely. He looked like a glorious mess; it was really unnerving how beautiful he looked, especially when naked and very sweaty.

"Well…" he sighed between ragged breathing, such as my own. "Now that _that's_ out of the way…"

"We can go back to being angry at each other," I completed his sentence breathlessly and he nodded, both of us grinning and chuckling.

"How about we rest a little bit first?" he asked and I concurred.

"That nail thing is going to leave marks on my back, by the way," he said with a crooked smile as we sat down on my couch, naked and spent. Well, he was naked, I was still dressed, if you ignore the fact that I was braless and commando.

"So is that bite on my shoulder," I grinned back.


	6. The Giant Rock

_A/N: Hello people! Thanks again for all your amazing reviews! I'm really glad you're enjoying this story! Now, I know this is just the same chapter in EPOV, but I promise to update again as soon as I possibly can! Next chapter things are going to change, in a major way! :D_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, etc etc. Shout out to my girl, shortcake!_

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**Chapter 6: The Giant Rock.**

Edward's POV:

_4 years ago, Forks._

I heard an old car pull up by the house and jumped out of Bella's rocking chair to look down the window. The second story of the house wasn't very high, and I've always had exceptional eyesight, so I could see Bella clearly inside the car, in the passenger's seat.

Someone drove her home from La Push, someone she's been meeting with for the past week or so, as I assumed by her weird behavior during that week.

"Come on," I spoke in a low voice. "Show yourself." I hoped they wouldn't look up and see me standing in the dimly lit room.

Bella seemed upset, which I didn't like one bit, but after a moment she smiled, and…

_No_.

I swallowed hard.

She was kissing him. She kissed him.

I suspected she might be seeing someone, but seeing her kiss some guy was a whole different thing. I couldn't figure out why it made me feel so… angry. Worse. My gut was turning over. My heartbeat was frantic. I felt like ripping him apart.

We're best friends. It's only natural that I would feel protective of her, like a big brother. Yes, that must be it.

Bella walked out of the car and ran into the house as the guy started making a U-turn.

_No. That's not it. This is so much worse._

As he drove away, I could see his face. Jacob Black. Bella's boyfriend was Jacob Black.

_I am going to fucking kill him._

I never liked Black, he and his friends from the Reservation were always hanging around town and looking for trouble, or trying to cause it. He always used to glare at me, and do the exact opposite to Bella; he would check her out at every opportunity. I guessed he'd finally made his move on her.

I sat back down on the chair and sighed, trying to calm down before Bella comes in.

_I'm probably just being overly possessive over her. We're best friends, so she can't have a boyfriend._

That still didn't feel right.

Bella walked in her room, closing the door behind her without looking in my direction.

"Oh god!" she jumped as she turned around and saw me.

"Welcome home," I said grimly. Seeing her now felt weird. It felt uneasy, as if I had a huge rock sitting on my chest. What the hell was wrong with me? "And you might want to keep it down, unless you want Charlie to wake up."

"Edward, you scared the hell out of me!" she said with one hand over her heart. "Don't you fucking ever do that again!"

"Sorry," I gasped as I felt a sharp pain that accompanied a heartbeat, and tried to cover it as a chuckle. I didn't know why being around Bella felt like this, but I had to test it. I got up and walked towards her. "I didn't mean to scare you."

As I got closer to her, I felt worse and better all at the same time.

"Well, what are you doing here?" she said, more calmly now.

"I tried calling you earlier, but Charlie said you were gone," I answered.

"Yeah, I was," she shrugged and sat on the bed.

"He said you were down in La Push," I tried to get her to tell me.

"Yeah?"

"You're not gonna tell me what you were doing down at the reservation?" I raised an eyebrow. Why did she insist on hiding this from me?

"You're not gonna tell me what you're doing in my room?"

_God, that's annoying._

"I was waiting for you, now will you answer me?" I said, trying to sound more patient than I really was. I needed her to explain this to me.

She sighed and her eyes darted away from mine. "I'm… kind of seeing Jacob Black."

"Yeah, I know," I said curtly.

She rolled her eyes. "How?"

"I saw him driving you home from your window. Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, trying to ignore the rock on my chest.

"I don't know," she answered. I sat down beside her.

"You know I don't like that Black kid, right?" I said. I was trying to figure out why she had to go out with him, of all people.

"I know," she nodded. I knew her well enough to know that she felt bad about seeing someone I didn't like. I didn't want her to feel guilty because of me.

"Do you like him?" I asked.

The pain seared through my heart to my arm as she considered the answer.

"Kind of, I guess," she replied half-heartedly.

_She doesn't even like him that much, yet she's still seeing him._

"Why are you even with him, Bella?" I asked.

She sighed, as if she was the one carrying a rock on top of her chest.

"I'm tired of being alone," she said, her voice slightly breaking. I knew her well enough to notice it.

_I don't understand._

"You're not alone. You have me," I said. _Did I not make her feel like she has me to talk to, to lean on, at all times?_ The thought caused me slight panic.

"It's not the same, we're best friends," she said grimly.

I nodded. She needed someone to be more than her friend; to make her feel loved and wanted; to hold her and to… a lump formed in my throat. To kiss her. The images of Jacob Black and Bella kissing, _touching_, made me want to just… throw up. I banished the images out of my mind, before they would have driven me completely mad.

I suddenly felt so many things at once. Besides feeling sick, and the heartbeat that wouldn't slow down, I felt confused. Why did I care so much about Bella seeing someone else? Someone who wasn't me? Why did it physically hurt to watch her kiss another guy? I felt scared. I had a feeling creeping up, telling me that I was just short of realizing something that I didn't want to realize. Not now, not when it was too late. I held those thoughts back, to make room for fear. My breath hitched as a thought floated to the surface of my mind.

_What if I'm going to lose Bella?_

"We're not going to drift apart now, are we?" I asked, trying to hide the panic.

She shook her head to reassure me that she didn't want to lose me either. "I'm not going anywhere." She wasn't lying. She was being honest. She didn't want to lose me either.

"Okay," I smiled at the realization.

I couldn't sleep that night at all.

I turned over again and again, but nothing made those new thoughts, new questions in my head go away. I had to face them.

I turned to my side to look at Bella. She was lying on her back and sleeping peacefully. Her face were those of an angel, with heavenly features. I always knew Bella was beautiful – it was kind of hard to miss – but at that moment I realized she wasn't just beautiful. She was so much more. She was striking, she was astonishing, she was _perfect_.

_I'm attracted to Bella. I_ want _Bella_.

I felt drawn to her full, rosy lips, and longed to kiss them. I wanted to touch her cream like skin and caress it. I wanted to get closer and inhale her scent, to taste every bit of her, to feel her body against mine, _beneath_ mine, I wanted…

Bella.

I was jealous. I was so jealous of Jacob Black that I wanted to practically rip his hands off for ever laying them on her.

Bella moaned in her sleep, adjusting herself slightly, and I closed my eyes in case she opened hers.

"Edward," I heard her soft voice murmur.

My eyes shot open and I stiffened in place. It wasn't the first time Bella had said my name in her sleep, not even close. We were best friends.

But it did make my heart shudder for the first time and, just for a moment, removed the heavy rock from my chest.

_Fuck_.

_I'm fucked_.

_I'm not just attracted to her._

_I'm in love with Bella._

_I'm in love with my best friend._

_Fuck._

* * *

_5 days ago, Seattle nightclub, morning time._

"Emmett, quit whining like a little bitch, okay?" I said to my brother, who was sulking on his stool. He was my big brother, but he always acted like a child.

"Dude, you can't quit the band. Cause if you quit the band, there _is_ no band!"

"There are other guitar players in Seattle, Em," I shook my head. "Besides, I have to do this if I'm going to get a real job."

"Why would you even want another job? We're getting paid for gigs… sometimes."

"No, _I'm_ getting paid. You're living off your girlfriend, and Edward is eating into his savings. I'm with you, man," Jasper told me, while cleaning some glasses behind the bar. He was right – he had his job here, Emmett lived with his girlfriend, and I was barely making it through the month.

But that was going to change. I had a job interview lined up for the next day at some paper company, and I was going to make a good impression as if my life depended on it. And it kind of did.

"Why are you always taking his fucking side, Jazz?" Emmett asked.

"Cause he's always right, and you're usually an ass," he answered, making me chuckle in response.

"Whatever man, I just don't get why he has to go around changing his entire life all of a sudden. I mean, who does that kind of thing out of nowhere? Unless…" he turned to me with a shocked, yet delighted expression on his face.

"You're doing this for some chick!" he yelled out.

Jazz stopped cleaning glasses and gave me a questioning look.

"Just mind your own fucking business," I said, shaking my head.

"Wow, so there _is_ a girl," Jasper said and patted me on the shoulder. "Good luck with _that_, man."

"I didn't say that," I said, but they were already far from listening.

"My bro is finally getting laid again!" Emmett yelled, causing two girls who were cleaning around the back to give us dirty looks.

I hung my head back in frustration and rolled my eyes at the stupidity.

"Seriously, you haven't had sex with anyone since that skank… what was her name? Jessica? That ain't cool, man."

I'd lost my virginity to some girl, Jessica, in college at a party I went to, only to try to take my mind off Bella. It was meaningless, and tasteless, and I haven't found anyone I wanted to repeat that with, until I found Bella again.

"Em, I don't think he's doing anyone. He's probably getting a job to impress the girl, so she'll _let_ him do her," Jasper grinned.

"Come on, have you seen the smile smeared on his face lately? That's a definite getting-laid smile," Emmett countered.

"What I'm interested to know is who finally managed to get your attention after all those years of pining for one girl," Jazz directed the question to me, leaning over the bar. Emmett was looking at me too, waiting for an answer.

"Oh, I'm part of this conversation again?" I asked, purposely averting the question.

"Oh no," Emmett looked like realization hit him. "Oh man! Not again!"

"What? Who is it?" Jasper looked confused for a moment, but then caught on. "It's Bella?"

Jasper didn't know Bella, since he never lived in Forks - he went to highschool in Texas, but he knew _of_ her.

"Yes, it's Bella. I ran into her some time ago and now we're… friends again," I said. I wasn't one to kiss and tell.

"I can't believe this shit!" Emmett shook his head. "You really want to get into _that_ again after all you've been through?"

"I never really got over her, anyway," I said. "Now can we please just drop the fucking subject?"

Jazz knew when I really didn't want to talk about something. He immediately jumped head first to another topic. "There was this girl in here the other night… man, I thought I was going to have a stroke when I saw her. My mind went literally numb just looking at the girl."

"Did you get her number?" I asked, moving the conversation along in that direction.

"No," he suddenly glared at Emmett. "We were going to go out at the end of my shift, but this dumb ass right here needed me to come pick him up from some highway, and I couldn't find her anywhere to tell her I'm leaving."

"Rose kicked me out of the car!" Emmett retorted. "What was I supposed to do? Call Edward? He doesn't even own a car!"

"Thanks man," I took that punch like I deserved.

The job interview did go well, and I got the job. I was now officially a secretary. But at least a nicely paid one.

The first few of days of my new job were hectic; I barely found the time to register for college. If they would accept me, I would continue college starting a few months from now. The plan was definitely in motion. Now all I needed to do was get settled in my new job, sell my apartment, pay out the mortgage, and use the rest of the money as down payment for a better place.

When I finally called Bella, she was pissed. All she told me was to get my ass over to her place, but I knew just how angry she was. She was definitely right. I just knew from past experience that the more of Bella I saw, the deeper I was in, and the harder it was not to tell her I want her for life.

"Bella, I'm really sorry," I said the moment she opened the door. She wore a dress, just like I said she should do more often, so I took that as a good sign.

"Just get inside," she said, her lips pursed.

I walked inside and turned around to face a very glaring Bella. That woman could be quite scary when she wanted to be. But it was mostly cute, to tell the truth. She was just so beautiful.

"Now continue."

"I didn't mean to disappear on you again, I just… I had so many things going on this week, and I got this new job, and everything just distracted me," I started making sorry excuses.

"So you couldn't at least call me? Send an email? An owl? Something?" she was trying to go for mad, but I saw sadness in her big brown eyes, and all I really wanted to do was kiss her.

"I know, I know. But I really didn't mean –"

"Funny how you never mean to disappear on me, but then again – you always do," she interrupted.

_I let her down again. God, I'm such a jerk._

"I'm sorry, Bells," I said, feeling ashamed of myself.

"No!" she suddenly yelled. "This is why we stopped being friends. This is why even though we both went to college in Seattle, we still drifted apart!" she said.

_She didn't just say what I think she said. She _can't _think that._

"What?" I asked.

"You constantly disappeared on me, sometimes for two weeks at a time! You barely kept in touch; I was the one who always called you, and most times you didn't even bother to pick up. I kept us alive until I just realized – you didn't want to be friends with me anymore!" she said in one breath. She's been keeping this inside for two years, I could tell.

Well, I've been keeping some things inside for fucking two years, as well.

_I didn't want_ to be friends with her? No, I didn't! I wanted to be more! _She_ was the one who started seeing that jackass, Black.

"You think that's the reason our friendship fell apart? You think I'm the reason?" I raged.

She nodded, crossing her arms against her chest. I just couldn't believe this.

"You really don't have a fucking clue, Bella!" I yelled.

"Go ahead and explain it to me, then!"

I had no idea how to explain this to her without exposing myself, but it doesn't mean I was wrong.

She had no idea how hard it was to know she was with him, see her with him and his hands all over her, to feel my heart being torn apart a thousand times with every kiss he planted on her. To be so jealous, so frustrated that I didn't realize how much I felt for Bella before she got together with him.

But I suffered through all of that, for the sake of our friendship. So I wouldn't lose Bella.

Until one day there was something different about her. I couldn't pinpoint it, but she looked different to me. We were at a coffee place with some mutual friends, and when she went to get herself a raspberry muffin, Black leaned over to me and said something that broke me for good, a sentence I would never be able to forget.

_"You see that smile on her face?" he nodded towards Bella with a grin. "I put it on her face last night. She's definitely mine now, Cullen."_

I had a hard time facing her after that, because every time I looked at her, I imagined her underneath him. At best, this would set me off on a rage, but at worst, I couldn't breathe, I was trapped under that rock with no way out. She wasn't supposed to be with him. She was supposed to be with me.

That asshole probably told all his friends that he popped her fucking cherry.

And the worst part was that she didn't even seem to notice my distress around her, around them. She had no idea how I felt about her, all she cared about was her precious Jacob. And he used every opportunity he got to push me away, saying things like he'll be happy to go with her to the book store, because I would probably just get bored spending four hours in a book store, and I couldn't believe she let him do that.

"It was that boyfriend of yours, that fucker Black!" I told Bella. "You didn't have a clue back then, either. He was wrong for you, Bella! I had a serious fucking problem with him, and you didn't even notice anything wrong with me. I thought I was your best friend, but you didn't know me enough to tell that I suffered because of your relationship with him."

She gazed at me with shock for a moment before she spoke.

"You never said anything," she whispered. I closed my eyes for a brief moment.

_Why does she have to be so fucking gorgeous when I want to be mad at her?_

"You should've known. You made him your new best friend. I just stepped aside so he could fill the position!" I accused wrongfully, stepping towards her. She did have some part in this, but he was her boyfriend, so obviously she would tell him everything she told me.

"That's bullshit, Edward, and you know it! You were always my best friend! Hell, you were my best friend when you were gone for two fucking years!" she yelled, punching my chest with her tiny, ineffectual fists.

"He was pushing me out of the way, and you weren't even noticing. You know how much that hurt, Bella?"

"Yeah, I do! About as much as it hurt to have my best friend ignore my calls and phase me out of his life, no explanations whatsoever!"

It was so painful to know that Bella was hurt, and that of all people, I was the one who had hurt her. She never even knew why I distanced myself from her. And if hearing her say those words was painful, seeing her cry was fucking excruciating.

She tried to hide her face, but I just pulled her close, holding her tightly to me. I wanted her to stop crying, to stop hurting. She cried into my chest for a few moments, but then pushed me away again. I couldn't tell her to what extent that simple action she did was heart wrenching; having her close felt so damn good.

"And now you're doing it again! God, you're such a jerk sometimes!" she groaned. Even with remains of tears in her eyes, she looked absolutely dazzling. I couldn't even focus on what she said. All I noticed was her long, creamy legs she stomped on the ground.

"Well you're no picnic either, Bella," I raised both my eyebrows at her, once I got a hold of myself.

"You could've called!" She pushed me again, and I caught her tiny hands in mine.

"Would you just let it go? I said I was sorry!"

"You said that last time!" she yelled again, and I let her back me up against the wall. I couldn't say that I was really focusing on the verbal part of the argument, not when the physical part involved having Bella's body close to mine.

"I haven't seen any missed calls from you, either!" I managed to say as I turned us around, so she would be against the wall, with my hand beside her head. I saw her chest heaving up and down in the cleavage of her dress as she panted slightly, and it was disrupting my thoughts.

_Her face. Look at her face._

I raised my eyes to her face, and caught sight of her delicious lips.

_God, I want those._

"Like you wouldn't just screen me!" She pushed me hard against the opposite wall, smashing her slender frame into me and making me bite back a groan. Her fierceness was amazing; she made me feel so alive.

"Why won't you just let it go?" I grabbed hold of her hands again so she couldn't escape me. I wanted her answer, I wanted her to tell me that she cared about me, that she felt fraction of what I felt for her.

"Because I'm extremely fucking stubborn! Okay?" she replied with spirit. Her lips were like magnets, pulling mine to inch down towards them. I knew that if I did this, it would pretty much going against what we had agreed on, but I couldn't resist her. I had to have her now.

I kissed her with everything I had in me, and turned us around again, grasping both her hands in one of mine in one quick motion, above her head. I used the other to touch her body, wherever I could get. I felt like an addict who got his hands on another fix, I couldn't get enough of that woman.

"And extremely fucking sexy," I said in a low voice, and resumed the kiss.

She wrapped one leg around me, grinding our bodies together, and I nearly lost it. I deepened the kiss, denying us both of oxygen, and tried to calm myself slightly before I took her right there.

"Let go of my hands, Edward," she growled at me.

_Fuck Bella, that's just tempting your luck._

I let her hands go, and she immediately pushed me again onto the other wall, unbuttoning my shirt quickly and skillfully. She nearly fucking ripped it open.

When I started kissing down to her neck, she grabbed a hold of my hair and pulled on it, tempting her luck again.

It was so fucking hot when she got rough.

I moved my hand up her dress, brushing my fingers lightly on her panties to tease her, and earning a moan on her part, before pulling them down completely.

I pulled the straps of the dress down as well, desperate to taste her breasts. My tongue was relentless against her silk-like skin, and when I reached her delectable little nipple and put it in my mouth, her hands shot to the buttons of my jeans to undo them, pulling them down and stripping me naked.

She darted her hand out and wrapped it around my throbbing erection tightly, pumping it slowly once. I groaned loudly. Once was enough to drive me insane and make me lose all my control, mostly by her impatience for me to take her.

I parted our lips and gripped her thighs harder, lifting her hot little body onto mine. She immediately wrapped her arms and legs around me and pulled me in for another needy kiss on both our parts. I backed her against the wall again, pleased that now she would stay there with my body against hers and won't push me back.

She guided me to her wet little pussy, and I could already feel the warmth on the swollen tip of my cock. I couldn't wait; I thrust all the way into her warmth, and we both moaned loudly at the sensation.

_God, I must be dead in heaven right now._

I began pushing into her with force, lowering her body to meet mine with the support of the wall. Our eyes were locked together, making my heartbeat rate rise even further. She was so fucking beautiful. Her fucking _soul_ was beautiful.

"This… doesn't… mean… I forgive you," she gasped out a broken sentence. I loved that I was making her breathing sound like that.

"I'm not saying sorry," I groaned, keeping my movements hard and steady. "I'm just letting out aggressions."

Then she fucking slapped me.

That went straight to my cock, making me slightly shiver against her. I quickened my thrusts.

"That was just fucking hot," I told her truthfully, grinning.

One moment she was giggling, the other she was mewling and whimpering. God, when she did that, I felt like a fucking teenager that couldn't last long enough. Nothing turned me on as much as the sounds coming out of Bella's lips.

"Oh god," she moaned, digging her nails roughly in my back.

_Well, fuck_ _me._

Her moan, combined with the slight pain of what she did with her nails, was nearly sending me over the edge. I buried my head in the crook of her neck, inhaling her sweet strawberry scent, and fucked her mercilessly, going deeper to hit all of her favorite spots so I could feel her cum around me, before I would lose it.

"Fuck! Edward!" she creamed, crying out and fucking clenching around me until I couldn't take it anymore. "Edward!" she shouted again, making me groan loudly when I came inside her, and bit on her shoulder as she milked my cock. _Mine_, I thought as I did. _Mine forever_.


	7. The Distressed Damsel

_A/N: Hey guys! So happy you guys liked EPOV! And thank you so much for reviewing and for giving me such amazing feedback on my writing and such an awesome point of view! You guys ROCK! And yes, Bella did sleep with Jacob back in college. Sadly. lol._

_Comment: __**Jerz**__, if you're reading this, I tried PMing you back but I'm not so sure that I succeeded, cause there are some problems with the website or something, so hope you got my message! :) ---__ and sorry about this, folks._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, and neither of these horny characters lol._

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**Chapter 7: The Distressed Damsel.**

Edward always got his way.

If he wasn't given what he wanted, he would charm his way into getting it, and nobody was resistant to that charm.

I worked hard, and took everything seriously, but Edward always tried to charm his way into getting what _I_ wanted as well. If he couldn't do that, he would still do everything he could to help me. Be it getting us out of class, or helping me get my father's permission to go to Port Angeles, or tutoring me until I scored an A in Trig.

Edward always helped me get by.

When a bunch of Triple P's would harass me, he would come to the rescue. When I was particularly upset about something, he would climb up a tree and through my window at night to hold me while I slept, so I wouldn't have nightmares. When I still had nightmares, because they always got worse when I felt bad, he would calm me down and wiped the tears of panic.

Edward always saved me.

He was the best friend I've ever had. Even when he was a jerk, even when he was absent, he was my best friend. I always knew that, even though we'd lost touch, if I ever called him and told him I needed him, he would be at my doorstep in a heartbeat.

_4 years ago, Forks._

"I'm fine, mom, really," I tried persuading my mother, Renee, over the phone.

"Baby, are you sure? Because you don't sound too hot," she said.

She might've been erratic, and forgetful, but she never failed to notice when something was wrong with me. She knew me too well. Of course, I didn't want to worry her and tell her that she was right.

"Really, everything is just… its usual boring self," I sat down on my bed. "I just really miss you."

That was the main reason for my sucky day. I missed Renee terribly, but she was traveling with her new husband, Phil, and I had no business raining on her sunny day.

"Aww, Bells. I miss you too, sweetie. I promise I will be home in Jacksonville next month. Plain ticket's on me," she said encouragingly.

"Okay, mom. Love you," I smiled weakly.

"Love you, too. Bye, hun."

I hung up the cell phone and threw my head back on my pillow. I hesitated for a moment, but then quickly pressed number 1 on my speed dial. It rang twice before it was picked up.

"Hey, Bells," Edward answered.

"Hey," I said, relieved to hear his voice.

"What's wrong?" he immediately asked.

_That guy really is a know-it-all, isn't he?_

"Why would you assume anything was wrong?" I asked.

"I can hear it in the tone of your voice," he said, sounding concerned. "Is this about what happened at school today? Cause those bitches had…"

"No, no, it's not about the Triple P's," I cut him off. "Well, it is. I mean, it's not just that, this whole day is just… ugh." I sighed deeply. Edward was referring to Lauren, who always tried to make me miserable, and Jessica – who recently decided that I got on her bad side for "hitting on her man". I calmly tried to explain to her that I had no interest whatsoever in Mike, and that it's not my fault that he preferred to ask me out instead of her.

That, of course, didn't go so well, but Edward got there just in time to tell those girls to back off. Saved, once again, by the knight in shining armor. They walked away, but not before they made a comment on how I'd be moving schools by now if it weren't for Edward. Which was probably true, but it still got on my nerves.

That was only the beginning of my day.

"Okay, time for you to vent," Edward said. "Tell me _all_ about it."

"Well, there was that. Then, on my way home, I got a flat tire and had to change it in the rain, which took me like an _hour_. Then I burnt dinner, and had a fight with Charlie, and I really, really miss my mother," I said in one breath.

I heard him sigh. "I'm sorry, Bells. I promise by tomorrow you'll forget about all those things. I wish I could come over tonight, but Carlisle and Esme are still pissed off at me from last time they realized I wasn't in my bed at night."

"No, don't come over. I don't want you in any kind of trouble," I immediately said. "Talking to you over the phone helps, too," I tried sounding as happy as I could. "Besides, I'll probably turn in early tonight. Charlie's already asleep."

"How about a friendly game of Unreal Tournament over the web, until then?" he suggested.

Edward and I used to play that game all the time. It involved shooting each other with various weapons until we kill each other numerous times to our satisfaction.

"What, you feel like getting torn to pieces by a girl?" I grinned. Edward was a worthy player, but I was Godlike.

"Yeah, we'll see about that, Swan," he chuckled.

We were in the midst of playing, and I was literally taking him apart, thinking how much easier it was to beat him this time, when I heard a noise from outside my window.

I froze in my spot.

_If I'm playing with Edward, then who the hell is right outside my house?_

I considered waking up my dad, but at the same time curiosity pulled me towards the window to look down, just as the large figure reached the window.

I shrieked and jumped backwards, and then sighed and opened the window. I heard Charlie snore loudly, thankfully not awoken by my yelp.

Normally, I would've yelled at him for scaring me, if I wasn't so damn happy to see him.

"Who am I playing against?" I asked Edward, who climbed into my room, shutting the window behind him.

"Emmett," he grinned, pulling me in for a hug.

_God, he smells so good_.

"I _knew_ it was too easy," I rolled my eyes, and then pulled away to look at him disapprovingly. "Edward, what are you doing here?"

"I couldn't just go to sleep knowing you're spending the night alone after the day you had," he frowned, rubbing his thumb on my cheek. I felt myself turning red with blush immediately at his touch.

_I love you so much for being you_.

My heart was pounding so hard, I hoped I wouldn't start to sweat or something. Now, that would've been embarrassing.

"I don't want your parents to be mad at you," I grimaced.

"Just shut up and say thank you, Bells," he pulled me to him again tightly. These expressions of endearment were so not helping me feel any less in love with Edward.

"Thank you," I mumbled into his chest, making him laugh.

"You're welcome. Love you, Bells," he said, tearing my heart apart. All I wished was for him to _really_ mean it when he said it, but that wouldn't happen.

_I guess I can pretend just for one moment._

"I love you too, Edward," I said, meaning every word. But he would never know that I did.

When we lied in bed together, cuddled together, I used to pretend that we were a couple, going to bed together in each other's comforting arms. I knew it was kind of pathetic, but being there – and so close to Edward's warm body – would cause anyone to do stupid shit.

Like staying up and looking at his peaceful face as he slept, smiling at how childlike he looks when his eyes are closed and his mouth curls upwards to a small smile. Sometimes I even dared to reach out and touch his face gently, or run my hand through his silky hair.

It was an incredible feeling, loving him. It was so painful, and yet so exciting, because even though I knew he didn't feel the same – I could still look at him, touch him, talk to him, and feel like my entire existence had meaning. Like my heart was about to explode of emotion.

But still, that emotion was powerful enough to ache.

Edward taught me that while love is undoubtedly amazing, it can also be undoubtedly dangerous to the sanity, especially with a man like him.

* * *

_Today, Seattle book store, the middle of a long ass shift._

"Bella? Bella, you're totally spacing out on me," I heard Alice as I snapped back to the present. Alice and I were doing some reorganizing in the storage room together, which gave us some extra girl time, courtesy of Rosalie.

"Sorry, sorry, what you were saying?" I asked with an apologetic look.

"I was telling you that I went to that nightclub yesterday, and left my phone number to that bartender guy," she smiled.

"Alice! Didn't you say that he stood you up? You're giving him your number?" I asked in shock.

"Seriously? _You're_ judging me for going back to see someone who blew me off?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Good point," I nodded.

"He probably had a good reason. I know he wouldn't just take off on me like that."

"I hope you're right, Alice, but if that guy hurts you, he's getting his ass kicked."

"Great, thanks! Now tell me what you were daydreaming about," she grinned to me.

I rolled my eyes. "Just… high school stuff." _Edward climbing into my room stuff_.

"Aw, I miss high school! I used to have so many friends –" she started. "Sorry, that didn't come out right."

"It's okay," I chuckled. "One or two friends were enough for me."

"Especially when we're talking about a friend like _Edward Cullen_, right?" she teased.

I shook my head, laughing. "Speaking of, remember that little talk I told you I had with him?"

"The one where you were demoted to _friend_ instead of being promoted to _girlfriend_?" she asked, making me glare in her direction.

"Actually, I would consider what we did last night as some sort of promotion," I grinned.

She gasped. "You had sex with Ed –"

"Shut up! You're yelling, and Jacob is right inside the store!" I whispered.

"Sorry," she calmed down. "He doesn't know about you and Edward?"

"Jake knows virtually nothing about me. He doesn't even know we're friends again," I said quietly.

"Does Edward know that Jake works here?" she asked.

"It never came up," I shrugged. "It's not like it really means anything," I started, but someone interrupted us.

"Well, anyway, you really need to start standing your ground if you want to get anywhere with Edward. If you keep slipping up like that, he'll never have _reason_ to want more."

"Bella?" Jake peeked inside the room. "Oh, hey Alice. I thought I heard voices in here," he said.

Alice and I exchanged looks.

_He doesn't sound like he heard us. He would be upset if he did. I think._

"Hi, Jake," Alice smiled.

"Hey," I raised my hand for a weak wave. "Did you want something?"

"Just wanted to ask you when the new Stephen King's arriving," he said.

"It should be here tomorrow morning."

"Okay, thanks," he smiled awkwardly.

"You're welcome," I smiled back as he lingered for a moment on the doorstep, and then nodded and left.

"Wow," she chuckled a few moments after he left. "That guy is so awkward around you… I swear he makes _you_ look like the poster girl for confidence."

I just shook my head and laughed.

Guys tend to get like that around girls they had sex with, even if they weren't romantically interested in them anymore, right?

I hoped so.

I had just gotten home and finished my shower, when I heard my doorbell rang.

"Just a minute!" I called, finding a robe I can wear and opened the door.

"Hey, I know you're still mad at me, but I had to tell you something," Edward stood at my doorstep, looking all gloomy and brooding and beautiful.

"Are you okay?" I asked, a slight feeling of anxiety creeping up my body.

He sighed. "I, uh… not really, no," he said.

"Come in," I opened the door further and walked him to my couch.

"I just came here to tell you that I'm leaving the country… tomorrow," he said grimly, his green eyes darker than usual. He wore every expression well and looked amazing, but I hated seeing him like that.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Where? For how long?" _He's going on a vacation?_

"L.A… and an unlimited period of time," he said.

_This is not a vacation. No_, I thought. _I can't lose him._

"W-why? Are you moving?" I asked sadly. _And leaving me again?_

He ran an unsteady hand through his copper hair. "There's been a flood in my apartment," he started. I gasped, biting my lip, but let him continue. "It wasn't ensured, so now I don't have a place to stay, so…"

"Carlisle and Esme?" I assumed. I knew Edward wasn't exactly well off, like I wasn't. The only thing he owned was that apartment, and now that was gone.

"Yeah," he nodded.

_This is really happening. He's really leaving. Damn it, no! I don't think I could _survive_ another day without him._

"Oh my god… well, can't you stay at Emmett's or something?" I tried.

"Nah, he lives with his girlfriend, and I don't want to be the third wheel or anything," he said, gazing at me with the strangest look. He looked at me the same way that Charlie looked at my mother when she left him, or at least how she described it.

I needed him to stay.

And more importantly, I wanted to help him. He _always_ helped me, he _always_ rescued me. Maybe it was time for me to rescue him.

"What would you say if I… suggested that you stay here?" I said slowly, hoping he won't be too proud to accept my offer.

"You mean…?" he looked confused.

"I mean, be my roommate. Your room will be tiny, and you'll have to sleep on a futon couch for now, but you'll have my divine company," I smiled sweetly.

"I don't know, I don't want to intrude on your life like that, you know," he shook his head. "Be a liability."

"You're not going to be a liability. The rent is not so bad, we can split it. You'd actually be doing me a huge favor, helping me out with the payments," I tried to convince him.

He contemplated for a moment to himself. "You would do this for me?" he asked, looking in my eyes in awe.

"I don't want you to go," I said sincerely.

"I don't want to leave you," he replied, looking just as honest.

You could break the tension with a knife, but I decided to break it with words.

"So where's your stuff?" I said lightly, with a smile.

"Actually," he chuckled. "It's right outside your door."

"You brought it here?" I raised a questioning eyebrow.

"I just figured that since I was supposed to be leaving tomorrow, maybe…"

"I'd let you spend the night here?" I completed his sentence.

"That's one way to put it, yeah," he laughed softly. "Sorry."

"That's okay, you were probably right anyway. Go get your stuff before somebody steals it."

I followed him into his new room, where he put down his suitcase, and then turned around to face me. When he did, I noticed his eyes wonder up my body from my bare legs to the cleavage formed by the silky robe I was wearing.

He had this lusty look in his eyes - one that never failed to set me on fire - and for a moment there, I felt my knees weakening along with my will power. I tried focusing what Alice had said, and my previous resolution to stop giving away the milk for free.

I cleared my throat, turning his attention back to my face.

"We're going to need some ground rules," I said firmly.

We sat back down on the sofa with a little notebook and a pen. I brought my feet up on the table and rested the notebook on my legs.

"Okay, first of all, what happened last night was a slip up. Yes, I would probably let you fuck me senseless if you were going away tomorrow, but since you're actually _moving in_, I think we should go back to being just friends."

"Now you've got me kind of rethinking the whole moving in thing," he said.

"No, you were right, we need to stay friends until we figure out… well, rule number 1 – no sex until we figure _us_ out," I said.

"Fine," he groaned. I wrote the first rule down in my notebook, and when I looked up, I caught sight of a mesmerized Edward gazing over my legs again - which were bare almost up to my ass in this position - and licking his lips.

_God, I love that he's looking at me like that._

"Rule number 2," I said loudly, making his eyes snap back up again. "No lustful stares of any kind, I won't be able to follow the first rule with you looking at me like that."

"Fine, then rule number 3 is – if you want rule number 2 to be followed, don't wear silky robes with absolutely nothing underneath," he countered, narrowing his eyes at me.

I pulled on the robe to cover some more of my legs.

"Okay, no overly revealing clothes," I wrote down rules 2 and 3.

"What else?" he said, trying not to look at me.

"Each of us does their own dishes," I suggested and he nodded. "And number 5 is, I'm in charge of laundry and cooking, but you do the cleaning – I really hate that."

What, a girl can't take advantage of a certain situation? Besides, watching Edward clean, probably shirtless, with his flexing muscles…

"Agreed," he smiled.

Right before we went to bed – to separate beds, that is – Edward and I lingered outside our bedrooms, saying goodnight. It felt like the end of a date, with all the excitement that entailed.

"Hey, uh… thanks for letting me move in," he said in a low voice, close enough to make me slightly shiver.

"N-No problem," I stuttered, giving him a weak smile.

In my head he was already leaning over and opening my robe, letting his hands run all over my body and taking me to my bed.

In reality he was leaning over, and running his hand through my hair. I closed my eyes and tried focusing on breathing, but when I opened them, his green eyes were aimed to mine like a lethal weapon.

"You had a little string in your hair," he said, almost whispering.

"Right," I said, barely paying attention. His lips looked incredibly delicious and cherry red, and not so far away from mine.

He was completely ignoring my second rule. And I _wanted_ him to. _Damn_.

"Good night," I broke the silence, and opened the door to my room, walking in. I smiled to myself in triumph, because I managed to resist the irresistible and leave him in awe of me.

"Good night," Edward said, chuckling to himself. I caught his grin just before closing my bedroom door.

He knew I just shot him down, but he also knew that he had a major influence on me, and that it was only a matter of time before I cracked.

_Oh yeah, this is going to be interesting._


	8. The Roommate

_A/N: Hey everyone! I'm sorry if sometimes I take a while to update, I know I used to update my stories like every day, but my life is really busy right now, so I'm doing all I can but sometimes it might take a little longer than expected, and I'm sorry about that! Hope you're still enjoying!_

_Thanks so much for the reviews – I'm so glad you liked it! I blushed too many times reading your feedback to this story! Haha loving it!_

_Note – anything from Days of Our Lives is made up, cause I don't want to give anyone spoilers!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, nor do I own Bella and Edward. Mine are OOC'd and apparently not very restrained around each other ;)_

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**Chapter 8: The Roommate.**

Bella's POV:

_4 years ago, the Cullen house, Forks._

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is _the Lord_ when I lay my vengeance upon thee," Edward, myself, and Samuel L. Jackson said collectively, before the latter proceeded to repeatedly shoot the man he was speaking to.

This was Edward and mine's Monday movie night.

Every Monday night, we would prepare a stock of popcorn and candy and things to nibble on, rent a DVD (or sometimes two) at the local store and sit down together in the television room in Edward's house.

Edward's parents knew not to interfere and get in the way when we cuddled together on that sofa, and even though his brother, Emmett, would often ask us what we're watching and tell us that we're geeks with bad taste in movies (his idea of a great, quality movie was American Pie), he would leave us to ourselves as well. Even Charlie never said anything to try and prevent me from going.

Edward was the one who came up with the brilliant idea for Monday movie night. Every Sunday night I would be moaning about how tomorrow would be Monday, how the weekend was over and school was awaiting us on Monday morning.

So one of those dreadful Mondays at school, Edward told me to be at his place at 7pm sharp. I obliged, of course, and I was in for a really great evening. I felt literally _high_ out of loving this guy. It wasn't even the fact that I had something to look forward to on Mondays from then on; it was because Edward was always making sure that I would feel good, have fun, and worry about nothing – this was just another way of him being an amazing friend to me.

"Can I have some of that popcorn too, Bells, or are you planning on eating the whole thing like last time?" Edward said.

Well, apparently amazing friends could be amazingly annoying, as well.

"Edward, you _know_ I don't pay attention to how much popcorn I eat when I'm focused on the movie," I said, putting the bowl of popcorn in Edward's lap.

Either when I'm focused on the movie, or when I'm daydreaming about a certain friend of mine.

"Yes, I do," he chuckled and put some of the popcorn in his mouth. I took one of the popcorn and threw it at his face, hitting him on the cheek with it.

"Hey!" he retorted. "What was that for?" he pretended not to know.

"Uh, for basically calling me fat?" I answered, throwing some more popcorn on him playfully. One got stuck on his hair and he pulled it out, glaring at me.

_Uh oh. I think I pissed it off._

Then he took some popcorn in his hand, pulled at the top of my t-shirt, and poured the popcorn inside my shirt.

My mouth gaped in shock. Edward started to laugh hysterically at my reaction, gripping his stomach.

"Oh my god! What are you, eight years old?" I asked, tugging at my shirt and trying to get the popcorn to come out. Edward only laughed harder.

"I think one got inside my bra," I looked inside my shirt and pulled it out, ignoring Edward's roar of laughter. "Great, now I have popcorn flavored boobs!" I complained.

"Mmm," he said when he calmed down a bit. "I'll have popcorn flavored boobs and a large Coke, please."

_Yeah, cause what I _really_ need right now is for him to make a sexual remark that's sort of about my fucking boobs._

Edward and I were both simply at that age where you constantly think about sex and crave it. Being a boy and a girl, it was only natural we'd get semi-flirtatious at times, but it was _killing_ me.

"It's not funny, I'm all buttery now!" I whined.

"Hey, just say thank you I didn't put the ice cream down there," he laughed. "Although it would probably be _delicious_."

_Did my panties just get wet?_

"You better sleep with one eye open, Cullen," I warned with a grimace. He was going to spend tonight sleeping in my bed again, which I looked forward to and dreaded at the same time. It was only be a matter of time before I declared my undying love for him in my sleep.

"I always do, you wear a tank top with no bra, for god's sakes," he joked.

I just rolled my eyes, shook my head, and laughed. _Secretly_ I wanted to kill myself.

_This is just going to keep getting more and more difficult, isn't it?_

* * *

_Today, my now shared apartment in Seattle._

1. No SEX until we figure "us" out.

2. No lusty looks!

3. No too revealing clothes…

4. Each of us does their own dishes.

5. Bella is in charge of all the laundry and the cooking, Edward does all the cleaning.

6. Must knock before entering the shower, because you can't lock it.

7. If one of us finished something out of the fridge, he has to replace it (I don't want to wake up and find out there's no milk left for my coffee).

8. If my dad calls, we definitely don't live together.

9. Friday mornings is when I watch my Days of Our Lives marathon, no arguments and no interruptions allowed!

10. If either of us goes somewhere, we must leave a note saying where we're going.

I stared at the list in front of me, pleased with it. I couldn't fall asleep right away, still hyped from the tension Edward and I seemed to still have, so I came up with a few more rules.

I pinned the list to the fridge with a magnet and started on some pancakes while Edward was in the shower.

When he got out, I was sitting at the table, already eating. I almost choked on that pancake when I got a look at him. He was wearing nothing but a towel around his waist and his upper body was still wet and glistening. His hair was wet too, falling on his face and half standing on his head in such a sexy way. I think my jaw dropped. I lost all coherent thought.

_God, those muscles… wet… Adonis… don't drool… I'm screwed._

"Morning, Bells," he smiled to me as he headed for the fridge. I felt like I was knocked out by that smile.

"M-morning… Edward," I stuttered, lowering my face to keep him from noticing the very noticeable blush on my cheeks. He stopped short just as he was about to open the fridge, probably noticing the note pinned on it.

"Ah, the list," he leaned with one hand on the fridge and read it. This caused the towel to move a bit lower on his body, leading my eyes from his abs down the trail to his...

_Breathe, Bella. Remember to breathe._

"I see you've added a few rules here," he looked at me with a smirk on his face. "Are you sure about the one with the shower, though?"

_Not so much anymore._

"Yes, are you sure about the one with the modest dress code?" I cocked an eyebrow, eyeing his towel. "Cause you're kind of breaking it right now."

He looked down at his towel and laughed.

"What? You can't handle me wearing a towel?" he teased.

"Would you be able to handle _me_ wearing nothing but a towel?" I countered.

He paused for a moment, and then nodded. "I'll go change."

"Thought so," I answered quickly, nodding as well.

***

I was watching Days of Our Lives, and Sami was just about to be slapped by her own mother when suddenly Edward came to the living room and started vacuuming, making a ton of noise and standing in front of the TV.

"Edward!" I yelled through the noise. He didn't respond. "Edward!" I yelled louder. He looked at me questioningly and turned off the vacuum.

"Did you say something?" he asked innocently.

"You're _kind_ of interrupting my Days of Our Lives marathon and therefore breaking rule number 9," I said.

"Oh, is that now?" he asked with in same innocent manner.

"Yes! Now would you put the vacuum aside and move from in front of the television, please?" I asked politely.

"But there's also a rule that says I'm in charge of all the cleaning," he pointed out. "Are you saying that one rule is more important than the other? Cause I can think of a few other less important rules," he winked at me.

I rolled my eyes. "All the rules still apply. Just stop vacuuming."

He came to sit beside me on the couch, throwing an arm around me.

"So what's happening here?" he asked.

"Well, that's Stefano. He's like the villain in horror flicks that wouldn't die no matter how much times you try to kill him, and that's Jack. Stefano just inserted a chip into Jack's brain to make him his soldier. And Jennifer here is trying to find Jack, because he used to be her husband and now she wants him back. Now shush."

"Why did they break up?" he asked.

I sighed. "Because he cheated on her with her sister."

"Who seduced who?"

"I don't remember," I replied, trying to focus on the show.

Edward had about a million other questions until that episode was over. Then he took the remote and changed the channel. _Unbelievable_.

"What are you doing?" I asked with outrage.

"What? It's commercial time," he said, flipping the channels.

"I don't care, I like the commercials," I pouted.

"I just want to see the score for a second," he pointed at the Tennis game going on. I waited a few moments, and then decided I will not be terrorized in my own home, or something a little less dramatic. The next episode was about to start.

"Give it to me, it's starting!" I reached for the remote, but he moved it to his other hand and distanced it from me with a grin.

I tried reaching over him to get the remote, but he just moved his hand backwards.

"Edward!" I growled and straddled him, quickly reaching behind him to grab the remote. "Aha!" I laughed, feeling proud of myself.

Edward just smiled slyly and jumped me, and somehow I ended up lying on my back on the couch with Edward crushed on top of me. He extracted the remote out of my hand while mercilessly tickling me, and laughing.

"Stop… Ed… ward… stop," I giggled, trying to push him off; resistance was futile. He was stronger, and I was very ticklish.

"Ple-hease!" I laughed, unable to breathe. He finally stopped, enabling me to breathe again. The moment that our laughter died down I realized that Edward's face was close to mine. I guess he realized the same, because his expression became as serious as mine was at that moment.

I stared up at him, and he stared down at me, and my heartbeat was speeding up instead of slowing back down. I was suddenly very aware of every inch of our bodies that connected together into a mold. The look in his green eyes conveyed nothing but yearning, _desire_, as he fanned his warm breath across my face and licked his lips.

_Alert: Rule broken._

I stared at his lips now, hypnotized by them. It was like a magnetic pull existed between his lips and mine, causing it to be actually painful not to press them together with all force.

_Alert: Another very significant rule just an inch from being gloriously broken._

_Oh god._

"Umm…" I said, gulping nervously. How do you tell someone to get off when you actually want them to stay right the hell where they are?

"Yeah," he said, clearing his throat as he got up. He handed me the remote back when we sat next to one another again.

"Thanks," I said quietly, trying to keep my heart from pounding out of my chest.

The rest of the weekend was awfully similar – Edward kept annoying me and doing what I figured was trying to get me to surrender to his will.

On Saturday, I was taking a soothing shower; very soothing – until Edward suddenly barged into the bathroom.

I stood there, shocked, inside the glass shower. It wasn't completely see-through, but you could still see enough to make out the shape of very private body parts. I turned my back to him.

"What the hell are you doing?" I yelped.

"I just thought I'd hop in the shower with you," he said nonchalantly.

_Fucking hell_.

"Edward!"

"Relax, I'm kidding. I need to floss, I got a piece of apple stuck between my teeth," he explained.

"You have to do it _now_? I'm in the shower! Naked!" I freaked.

"Don't worry, I'm not looking," he said, laughing softly at my panic.

"Yeah, right," I muttered.

"And even if I _was_ looking, it's not like I haven't seen you naked before."

"Well, it's different now, will you please get out?" I yelled girlishly.

"Fine, fine, I'm done," he laughed and got out.

When I walked out in a towel, he was right in my face.

"What?" I asked, feeling lightheaded from his closeness again.

"Did you _want_ me to get in the shower with you?" he asked with a smirk.

"What?" was all I could say.

"Were you disappointed when I said I was only kidding about getting in the shower with you?" he rephrased the question.

"W-why are you asking me that?" I walked to my closet and tried to pick out something to wear. He followed me there.

"Because I kind of got the feeling that you wanted me there," he grinned crookedly.

I cocked an eyebrow up at him. "Did you want me to invite you to join? Is that why you decided to break another one of my rules?"

"Actually, that piece of apple was really bothering me," he _lied_.

I closed the closet door, holding the clothes in my hand, and turned to Edward. His eyes wondered from my face down to my towel and the rest of my body.

"And I'm also guessing you're here _not_ because you want me to let you watch me dress?"

"I would much rather watch you _undress_, love," he winked at me with a devilish smile.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Get out, Edward."

He got out, but he just kept breaking my damn rules.

On Sunday, I found out he finished the cereal – which I was planning on for breakfast – and didn't get new ones. When I called him on it - he claimed that the rule specifically stated you had to replace things _in the fridge_, and the cereal was _in the cupboard_.

I just hoped Charlie wouldn't call, because Edward would probably decide to break that rule as well. Although, that would be stupid of him, because Charlie had a gun. Actually, more than just the one gun.

We spend Sunday night in the living room, watching TV on the couch together quietly. I was lying with my back to him, and he lied behind me, spooning me. I reveled in the warmth of his arms and body, wishing I could just stay like that forever.

I sighed. "I can't believe I have to go to work tomorrow."

"You've always hated Mondays," he pointed out.

"Yeah, cause they fucking suck," I pouted. He laughed softly in my ear.

"Hey, you know what I was thinking?" he asked. I turned halfway around and shook my head. "I was thinking we could reinstate Monday movie nights. What do you think?"

"What do I think?" I enthused. "I think that's the best idea you've had since you came up with Monday movie nights!" I grinned excitedly and turned fully to hug him. I knew he was always doing it for my sake, and it was always so sweet of him.

He hugged me back, laughing again at my excitement, and then let me go. Just as I felt the tension between us starting to reappear, I turned back around, to avoid any mistakes from happening on that couch.

That did me no good.

The tension stayed present in that silence that just moments ago was nothing but comfortable silence. When he wrapped his arm around me again, it was a much more meaningful movement than before. I felt his fingers trace lazy patterns on my upper abdomen – something that caused a reaction in lower regions as well.

I felt his breath on the back of my neck, caressing my skin and sending shivers down my spine. Then he moved his face closer, burying his nose in my hair and inhaling. My eyes closed involuntarily as I felt his nose traveling down my skin to my neck and shoulder, barely even touching it.

I bit my lip to stifle a moan. I felt so fucking _heated_. _God, how does he have this effect on me?_

He pulled me a bit closer to his body, and I felt what could only be a raging hard-on against my lower back. This time I couldn't stifle the quiet moan, and it escaped my lips when I exhaled.

_Did he want me to feel that? Fuck._

He moved his lips back up to my ear and gently bit on the lobe with his magnificent teeth, making me that much closer to cracking. I suddenly realized something.

_If I don't stop this now, I won't be able to stop at all._

"No, no, stop. Shit, Edward, why do you _do_ that?" I asked breathlessly, moving away from him and quickly getting up from the couch.

"Do what?" he asked, running a hand through the mess of his hair as he got up as well. His breathing was just as a ragged as mine was.

"You're not honoring the list! You broke like, half the rules in just one weekend! You walked in on my fucking shower, and finished the cereal, and wore a towel, and your behavior this entire weekend was a complete violation of rule number 2!" I crossed my arms against my chest childishly.

The reason it was so important to me to maintain the no sex rule wasn't because I didn't want Edward. Not only did I want Edward, I _needed_ him. All of him, in every way. But just sex wouldn't do, and it seemed like he was trying to eat the cake and have it, too.

"Hey, you violated rule number 2 just as much as I did," he countered.

"Well… you started it!"

_You started it? Seriously? I think I just travelled back emotionally to the age of five._

"Bells, I'm sorry for annoying you. I was just playing around. It's just temporary anyway, until I can get my own apartment. Then I'll move out."

_No_, I thought immediately. I may have been too harsh on him. He really was just doing it for fun, I guess.

I sighed and walked towards him. "I don't want you to move out," I admitted.

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "But I annoy you."

"Yes, you do. But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy living with you."

"You do?" A brilliant smile spread on his lips, taking my breath away.

"Yeah. You make my life… interesting. Just stop annoying me on purpose so much," I smiled back.

"Okay," he said, running his thumb slowly on my cheekbone now. I felt that spot flare up with heat, just like I felt wherever he touched me.

"So… I think I'll be going to bed now," I said hesitantly.

"Okay," he said and pulled back his hand.

"Good night," I said, running my hand through his hair one last time.

"Good night, Bells," he said as I turned to my room.

I entered my room with a heavy heart – it could only take so much before it exploded, or broke, or something. Edward teasing me and making me want to jump his bones, and looking at me in a way that _meant_ something – but saying that he's not ready for a relationship – was so unfair.

His behavior was just so confusing. I knew he wanted me physically, but did he want me emotionally as well? Because if he did, then why didn't he want to be with me as a couple? And if he didn't, why didn't he just let me go instead of leading me on like this?

I sighed.

Love, apparently, could also be depressing.


	9. The Eggnog

_A/N: Hey people! I'm sorry about the huge delays. I was working 10-12 hours a day right now, but it was a temp job and now I'm back full time :) thank you so much for your patience!_

_Loved your comments, guys! Thanks for taking the time to review! It's very important to me to get feedback on my stories :) Bella and her stupid rules, aye? lol_

_And yes, Paolo Nutini is awesome and so are his songs, especially Candy, which inspired large parts of this story ;)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or Paolo Nutini._

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**Chapter 9: The Eggnog.**

Bella's POV:

_4 years ago, the Swan House, Forks._

"Bells, did you hang the horrifyingly pink decorations on the tree yet?" My dad called from the kitchen.

"Yes dad," I yelled back from the living room, smiling. "Did you spike the eggnog?"

"Of course I did!"

This was, of course, a joke. The chief of police would never spike the eggnog with under-aged kids in the house.

Charlie used to come visit my mother - Renee, and I in Phoenix for Christmas, and we used to go to my aunt's house on Christmas eve to celebrate with my other aunt and my cousins.

My aunt and her husband, who hosted the joyful event, were completely crazy. She always made two eggnogs – one would be for everyone (although it wasn't really drinkable), and the other would be… well, let's just say it smelled more like a bottle of Vodka – that one was for the wacky couple, who drank the entire thing and embarrassed themselves to no end in front of the family. And yes, you guessed it, they would hang pink decorations they - according to Renee – bought a while back in the seventies. Pink decorations.

Ah, Christmas.

Charlie and I celebrated this Christmas at our house in Forks. The invite list wasn't as long as it was in the old days – it was just us, Edward, Jacob and his father Billy, and my other friend from high school, Angela, who was bringing her boyfriend (Ben) along. Sue Clearwater, who was married to a good friend of my dad's before he passed away, was coming as well, since her kids wanted to spend Christmas Eve at friends' house. My mother and her new husband, Phil, couldn't make it, but I was making it a point not to be depressed over it at Christmas.

I was worried, though. Worried about Edward and Jacob not getting along. But there was no way I was celebrating without my best friend and my boyfriend, so they would have to just suck it up and drink some virgin eggnog.

I was getting cold, so I decided to change to a very Christmas-y green sweater, and just as I reached upstairs I heard the doorbell ring.

"I'll get it!" I heard Charlie call.

Jake called ten minutes earlier, right before he and Billy left their house, so I assumed it would be them, though that was pretty quick.

I finished changing and went down the flight of stairs slowly – up until I realized it was Edward who was first to arrive. Since we started going to different colleges, we barely saw each other – or, at least, comparing to how much we saw each other beforehand.

Sometimes it would be just like it was in high school, and we would be our old selves around each other, but sometimes he just acted so strangely, like it bothered him to even be around me.

Once I saw him smile brightly to me from the living room, I knew this was a good day. I grinned and skipped down the rest of the steps, running to give him a hug. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and laughed.

"Hey Bells," he said. "Merry Christmas."

"I'll put your present under the tree, Edward," Charlie mumbled, walking across the room.

"I'm so glad you came," I said as I let Edward finally go.

I was with Jake now, and I didn't want to notice how good Edward looked in his sweater and jeans, his hair wet from the rain and falling on his forehead.

But I did.

"Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss your Christmas eve chicken and mashed potatoes for the world."

"There are also Santa shaped cookies fresh out of the oven," I grinned to him. Those were Edward's favorites.

"Wow," he raised his eyebrows. "I must've been _really_ good this year."

_You haven't, actually, but you're forgiven._

"Bella, could you please take the garbage outside?" Charlie asked.

"I'll do it," Edward volunteered. I was about to protest, but Charlie was ahead of me.

"No, no," he said. "You're a guest. You're not taking out the garbage."

"Don't worry about it, Edward. I'll be right back," I smiled to him.

I went through the kitchen, emptied the trash bin and went through the kitchen door outside.

When I came back inside the kitchen, I caught Edward red handed, with his hand in the cookie jar. Literally. He was eating one of my freshly made Santa cookies.

"You better drop that cookie, Edward Anthony Cullen!" I called and rushed towards him to take the cookie out of his hand.

But of course, being Bella Swan had its disadvantages, and so I accidently burnt my hand on the cooking pan.

"Ow!" I yelled out.

"Are you alright?" he asked with concern. "Let me see."

"It's nothing," I said, blowing on the spot to try and cool it. "It just hurts like a motherfucker."

"Come on," he said, and led me to the fridge. He opened it and took out an Aloe gel tube that he'd seen me use every time I got burnt, which was more often than you'd think. The gel felt so much better if it was kept in the fridge.

He opened the tube and rubbed some Aloe on my finger slowly, cooling the area. I was very aware of him towering over me and tending to my wound, so close I could hear his breathing.

"You're all good," he said quietly, closing the tube and putting it back in the fridge. When he looked back at me, there was something strange in his look. He ran his hand through his hair and laughed embarrassedly.

I gave him a questioning look as to what had caused this sudden embarrassment, and he looked up above us. I looked as well.

Mistletoe.

_Oh god._

It was hanging right above us on something that looked like a fishing wire.

I laughed awkwardly as well, biting my lip. "Charlie has a weird sense of humor," I said. We were supposed to be eight people cramming up in one tiny kitchen. Maybe he was hoping to get a kiss from Sue.

"So we're… probably supposed to…" he started, but didn't finish the sentence.

"Umm…" I giggled nervously again as he took a small step towards me to narrow the distance between us, looking at me intensely through his bright, green eyes.

_Oh my god, this is really going to happen._

I felt like I was hyperventilating, like I couldn't control my breathing anymore, and definitely not my heartbeat. I wasn't properly ready for this, not properly ready for Edward's perfect lips to descend on mine like they would in a second, and of all the times I imagined kissing Edward, none of those kisses was just because we're under a mistletoe.

But, _god_, I wanted it so much. Too much, for someone who had a boyfriend.

He leaned slowly towards me, licking his lips. I imitated that motion, and closed my eyes as he finally rested his lips softly upon mine. I was cold before, but now I felt so warm under his lips. They fit so perfectly against mine, like nothing I've ever felt or imagined or thought possible.

I thought the kiss was bound to end at that point – it was only a "merry Christmas", mistletoe kiss – but Edward's hands cupped my face, and he sighed loudly into the kiss, seeking access with his tongue.

I went dizzy, frantic, out of control.

I pulled his body tightly to mine and opened my mouth, deepening the kiss. Our tongues darted out to taste each other, and he tasted better than anything, better than Christmas morning. I moved my hands up to grab hold of his wet hair between my fists, feeling its softness like I'd been longing to do.

One of his hands travelled down to my waist and rested on the bare skin just underneath the hem of my sweater, lifting it up a little. I moaned softly into his mouth, pressing myself as hard as possible against his body. Edward groaned in response. This turned from a slow, gentle kiss to a fiery, impatient kiss. We devoured each other and clung to each other like our life depended on it, like we've waited our whole lives to do it. And it literally felt like the case for me.

I didn't even hear the doorbell ring, but I did hear my father yell, "I'll get it!"

_Oh no._

I pulled away from Edward and stared at him, panicked. Those were Jake and his father at the door. Jake, as in my _boyfriend_ Jake. As in, the boyfriend I just cheated on.

I cheated on Jake. With Edward.

_I'm a horrible, horrible person. How could I do this to him? He's been nothing but good to me, and I go around and betray his trust?_

_He can't know about this… it would hurt him. It would break him. He can't know what awful thing I just did, and fucking enjoyed, and most horrifically, can't even bring myself to regret because this was Edward, and it was the single most unbelievable moment of my entire life. He can't know._

"Please don't tell Jake," I said weakly and stumbled out of the kitchen and upstairs quickly, before anyone could notice me.

I spent the entire evening trying to act as normal as I could, avoiding Edward's eyes, and analyzing what happened from every possible angle. I concluded that I just got carried away, and he got carried away along with me.

Edward must've felt the same, because he alienated me for days later, and the next time we met, things returned to normal.

How stupid I was to be thankful for that.

* * *

_Today, completely empty book store in Seattle._

Alice and I were alone in the store today, and there wasn't much work to do at all. There was a morning rush of customers, but the store was now completely empty besides us two, so I took the opportunity to tell her all about the weekend and Edward moving in.

The book she held in her hands fell open on the counter with a thud. She didn't care; she only stared at me in complete shock.

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" she asked from behind the counter.

"I said, 'so I asked him if he would like to move in with me instead, and he did'," I grinned to her and picked up the book before the pages could get all wrinkly. The books need to be respected.

"Yeah, that's what thought I heard, but what did you _really_ say?" she narrowed her eyes at me. I laughed, and the smile on my face so wide it kind of hurt my cheeks.

"Oh, you heard right. Edward Cullen is now my roommate," I laughed again.

"Oh my _god_," she said, and then sighed. "I just hope for your sake that this isn't a mistake. I don't want you to be back where you were in high school."

"I hope so, too," I nodded. The last thing I needed was to be secretly in love with my best friend again. At least now, everything was out in the open and we were going to figure things out.

"Remember, you can't slip! Things can't evolve if you're acting out of attraction, or… hormones, instead of emotions," she advised. "You have to make sure he's acting out of emotion."

"Hmm," I nodded slowly. This was actually a very interesting piece of advice. Damn wise ass pixie. She was good at these things. _Make sure he's acting on emotion, and not just acting like a horny guy. That's actually good. If I can prevent _myself_ from acting like a horny girl._

"I'm not going to slip," _I hope_, "we came up with a bunch of house rules, and the first one is not to have sex until we figure things out. There's a list and everything!" I enthused.

She snorted, probably thinking something like – _oh, well, if you wrote it down then you're _definitely_ not going to slip_. "And how is the list going so far?"

"Well…"

"Uh huh?"

"Edward is kind of…"

"Yes?"

"Ignoring the rules. And umm, driving me completely crazy. Actually, you could say that this entire weekend he's been trying to mess with me and with the rules, and I'm going insane."

"Thought so," Alice smiled widely.

"Wh-why are you smiling? This is funny to you? My insanity is funny to you," I shook my head.

"Come on, Bella, you like it. And you know exactly why he's doing this," she said.

The bell attached to the door made a sound, informing us that a customer entered the store. We both looked towards the door at the guy who came inside. He seemed our age and good looking – brown haired, brown eyed, tall, dark, and good looking. Not like Edward, though.

"Can I help you find anything?" Alice asked him.

"I'm good, thank you," he said and turned to browse around the shelves. He had a Spanish accent, which pretty much made him perfect. But I was already completely in love with someone beyond perfection.

"Why? Why is he doing this?" I asked Alice in a low voice, trying to turn her attention back to the conversation.

"What?" she asked.

"Why is Edward messing with me?" I asked again, slightly annoyed.

"He likes you," she said.

"That doesn't even make sense, why would he annoy me if he likes me?"

"Remember how in kindergarten boys would push you and pull on your ponytail when they liked you?" She asked. I nodded. "Well, Edward is stuck in kindergarten."

"You think?" I asked. She nodded now. "But that's… silly. Why would he think that would work?"

"It _is_ working, Bells. It's making you think about him, isn't it?"

Damn, she was _very_ good at this.

If she was right, and Edward liked me enough to annoy me, this meant that Edward had another reason for not wanting to be with me. Now, that brought up a round of whole new questions. What could it be? What was the reason behind it all? And mind you, I was working at a book store; my mind could go to very creative places. I knew where my mind would be for the rest of the day.

"By the way, Spanish guy is looking at you," Alice said, discretely eyeing the guy behind me.

"What?" I asked in disbelief. I turned around casually for a moment, exactly when the guy lifted his eyes from the book he was holding and looked directly at me. He smiled embarrassedly and turned to the book again, and I turned around to Alice.

"You see?" she grinned. "Looks like you have an admirer."

I shook my head, probably blushing hot pink. "Stop that," I laughed nervously.

"What? Edward needs to be up for a little competition if he wants to be with the gorgeous Bella," she laughed.

"There's no competition," I told her. It was true; no one will ever compare to Edward Cullen in my eyes. "Besides, he might be looking at you."

"Well, he's not looking at anyone anymore," she said, and I heard the bell again. He must've left the store. She sighed. "And I actually still have one particular guy in mind."

"Really? Still that bartender guy?" I wrinkled my forehead. "I thought you said he didn't call."

"Well, he didn't…" I cocked an eyebrow at her. "But I know he wanted to! Maybe he didn't get my number," she said with a frown.

I guessed some people don't follow their own advice, because she would've told me to forget the sorry ass.

"Alice…"

"Bella, you don't understand. When we talked at the club the other night, it was… fate, or something. We both felt it, I'm sure of it. I'm not planning to wait forever or anything, but for now I am waiting," she said firmly.

"Well, I trust you," I nodded. "But if Spanish guy comes in here again and asks you out, you're saying yes."

She laughed, rolling her eyes at me, "Fine."

* * *

Edward's POV:

Jasper was hopeless. I spent all afternoon, ever since I got home from work, on the phone with him.

"All I know is her first name," Jasper sighed. "And I'm seriously considering calling every Alice in the phone book."

"I think that might take a while," I said, looking at the back cover of the DVD I got for Bella and I to watch.

"I'm desperate here, man," he said.

"Don't worry, you'll come across her again."

"What if I don't? I have to think of some way to get in touch with her, I have to."

"Good luck, Jazz," I said, just as Bella walked in the front door with too many paper bags for her to carry. "I'll talk to you later."

I hung up and rushed to help Bella carry the bags to the kitchen.

"You're crazy, these bags weigh three times your weight," I shook my head, placing the bags on the counter. She looked so adorable struggling to carry the bags with her tiny figure, her navy blue blouse rising a bit upwards to reveal her creamy skin…

_God_, I breathed.

"I love how you called me crazy _and_ complimented me in one sentence," she laughed.

"Seriously, I asked you to buy snacks for movie night, not for a case of nuclear war," I started taking stuff out of the bags. Potato chips, pretzels, popcorn, Tim Tams, Oreos, M&M's, jelly beans, the whole nine yards.

_How does she even manage to eat so much candy and stay so hot and tiny?_

"Always _be prepared_," she grinned, emptying the bags as well.

"You were never a girl scout, Bells," I reminded her. "Although you'd probably look amazing in that uniform right now."

"What is it about uniform that you men are so fucking infatuated with?" she turned to me and asked.

"It's not the actual uniform we're infatuated with, it's the sexy girl inside them," I grinned to her, thinking she would be surprised to know how infatuated I really was with her. It was actually far, far beyond infatuation.

Bella cocked an eyebrow up at me.

"You're sucking up. You want something, don't you?" she asked with suspicion.

_Yes - you, and fucking badly._

"I guess it could be nice if you made some of your famous cookies, and by that I mean – please, _please_ make me some cookies, Bells," I pouted. I knew Bella wouldn't be able to resist the pout. There was just something that was too powerful about it.

She rolled her eyes, "Fine. But you're not eating any cookie dough!"

"Oh come on!" I countered. I loved cookie dough too much to give it up just like that. "At least give me a little!"

"No, you're not getting any cookie dough! You know how you get," she said, putting the empty bags away.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about," I lied without hesitation.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, you get all hyper, then you get a stomach ache, and then you can't sleep!"

We both ended up eating some cookie dough, and throwing some chocolate chips at each other too. I started the whole thing, because frankly – Bella was just too cute when she was annoyed.

Every rule of hers that I broke provoked this cute "Bella" reaction, and she would get all feisty and hot. Especially when I looked at her the way I did, the way I couldn't help myself from looking at her.

I wanted so much just to be with her, for the first time as a real couple, but I couldn't. I couldn't take her out on proper dates, couldn't buy her things, couldn't provide her the security she needed. So far, she's been the one supporting me.

She deserved better than that.

I still had to save money, to get in a position where I could make more money, to get us a bigger apartment, and to finish my degree.

Until then, I only hoped not to lose her.

After we watched the movie, ate the candy, got hyperactive, got matching stomach aches, we went to bed. Of course, like Bella so wisely anticipated, I couldn't sleep.

The main reason for my lack of sleep, though, wasn't the cookie dough. Bella just seemed weird tonight – after the hyperactivity stage, that is. She seemed somehow… sad. Other people would probably call me crazy, but I knew her, and I knew when her smiles were only half smiles. I could tell apart her happy sighs, tired sighs and gloomy sighs.

Without thinking about it, I got up from my bed and out of my room. I sneaked into Bella's room, like I used to do through her old bedroom window, and shut the door quietly behind me.

I stopped for a moment there and watched her sleep. She was beautiful, beautiful in a very mind-blowing way, but she didn't look serene like she usually did when we spent the night together.

I crawled inside her bed and gently rolled her to lay half on top of me and in my arms, where she belonged. She moaned and smiled in her sleep, burying her head further in my chest. I smiled as well.

"Edward," she said. I looked down to make sure she was really asleep.

"Mm love you," she mumbled.

_Did she just say…? No, I misheard. Either that, or she meant someone else. God, I hope she didn't mean someone else._

"I love you, Edwaa…" she mumbled again.

My whole body froze. The only part that didn't freeze was my heart, and it was beating so frantically, I was worried it would wake her up.

_It's me. I'm Edwaa._

_She loves me._

_She said she loves me._

_Oh, god._

I've known Bella for six years, and I spent most of that time hoping to someday hear those words from her. Now that I have, it was more thrilling and more terrifying than I could ever imagine.

Thrilling, because this was Bella. The woman of my fucking dreams. And she _loved_ me. Terrifying, because I was just so afraid to hurt her, or break her heart. People always have the best intentions, and they usually end up hurting each other.

_Not Bella, _I vowed_. Bella would not be heartbroken._

* * *

_A/N: Okay, so for anyone who's wondering:_

_Why Bella's sad, you will find in the next chapter :)_

_And why Edward alienated Bella after they kissed, because that kiss meant everything to him and it broke his heart when she told him don't tell Jake, and acted like it wasn't the life altering kiss that it was._

_More details about the past will follow in the next few chaps ;)_

_Thanks for sticking with me, and please please review so I can read your thoughts about this! :) thank you sooo much!_


	10. The Lunch Bag

_A/N: Hey guys!! I'm so thrilled I managed to get this chapter up and running in a day! I haven't updated this fast in ages! I'm so glad people are still reading Candy, it means so much to me. Please, please review to let me know what you think! I love reading your comments! Hope you enjoy this!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I just love it :D and the new New Moon trailer!_

* * *

**Chapter 10: The Lunch Bag.**

Bella's POV:

_Three years ago, Jacob's dorm room in college._

I sat up on the bed silently, fetching my shirt from the lamp on the nightstand and pulling it around me, my trembling fingers struggling to close the small buttons.

"You're getting dressed?" Jake asked in wonder.

I just nodded.

"Are you… I mean, were you… was it okay? For you?"

My mind was just… blank. I had no idea what to make of what just happened with me and Jacob. I wasn't able to think, but I was certainly able to _feel_, and I felt so damn confused.

I felt so many kinds of guilt. I felt guilty towards Jake, because I wasn't fully in this thing between us, and I can't say that I was fully in what we had just done. I felt guilty because I still had strong feelings towards another guy, and because sleeping with Jake meant more to him, and probably made him think that I was completely over Edward.

I was guilty for kissing Edward last Christmas, and for the fact that despite my great attempts _not_ to think about what it would be like to have my first time with Edward while I was having my first time with Jake, I still did.

I also felt guilty because of Edward. Because it occurred to me how badly I'd treated him after we kissed, because I didn't want to hurt Jake. I felt guilty, because a small part of me told me that Edward would hate the fact that I gave Jacob Black my body and exposed my soul to him. Another part yelled that he couldn't care less about it.

I felt confused, because I had feelings for Jacob. I _loved_ Jacob. But not like I loved Edward. And that love didn't fade away with time, like I thought it would – like Jake thought it would.

I felt ashamed, and unclean, because I had sex with Jake out of guilt. Because it was time. Because he's been nothing but kind and sweet and loving to me, and I've given him nothing back. And what better gift than the virginity I had no desire for anymore at the age of 19?

I felt sad, because the one I really wanted this with never showed any interest in me, aside from one very confusing kiss. But I also felt happy, because I had someone there for me, someone who gave me a sweet, gentle first time. It wasn't with some jerk who would dump me the next day or something – it was Jake, and I trusted Jake. Especially when, a while back, I finally broke down and told him about the kiss that Edward and I shared last Christmas, and he forgave me, and understood.

And also, I felt kind of… sore.

"Yeah," I answered weakly. "Is it alright if I take a shower?" I asked.

"Of course," he said, leaning on his elbow on the bed.

I got up, gathered my clothes, and shut the bathroom door behind me.

Once I was under the warm stream of the water, the warm stream of tears followed suit. I tried so hard to scrub the dirt and guilt out of my skin, but I just couldn't. It clung to me, and wouldn't let go.

I finally gave up and sunk down on the floor, letting the hot water rinse me while I cried silently. No one should feel so many conflicted emotions at a time. The strongest one was probably regret.

When I got out, the look on Jacob's face was unmistakable. He knew that I had cried my eyes out in there just now.

"You were crying," he said. It was more of a statement than an actual question.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Did I… hurt you? Physically? Was I too rough or something?" he asked with sincere concern.

I shook my head in shame and sat on the bed. It wasn't because of him; he did nothing wrong. I did.

"This is about him, isn't it?" he said, his tone so much harsher than the soft tone he used beforehand.

I couldn't bring myself to say anything at all. I wanted to tell him that I'm over Edward, but I was far from it. So I said nothing.

He got up and stood in front of me. "Answer me, Bella, were you crying in there because you're still in love with Cullen?"

"Yes," I choked out. "Yes."

"Of all times, Bella. Of all times, do you seriously think now is the right time to be thinking about him? After we…" he stopped mid-sentence and started to pace in front of me. I kept my look down, like a child being yelled at by an angry parent.

"How much longer? How much longer will it take for you to fucking move on from a guy who doesn't even give a crap about you?"

That sentence actually physically hurt. He may have been right, but it still hurt. I couldn't even try to stop the tears from welling up again, or the sudden sob that sounded from my throat. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my head there.

_God, this whole fucking situation is all kinds of messed up._

Jacob's expression softened again, and he stopped and kneeled in front of me.

"Bells," he whispered. "Please, look at me."

I lifted my head up to look at him.

"I told you that I would wait for you to get over him, and I'm willing to wait as long as it takes, okay? That is how much I love you," he said.

I bit my lip in shame. I wasn't sure how fair it would be to make him wait for something that would probably never happen.

"Jake, I won't –" I started.

"As long as it takes, Bells. Even if that means forever," he interrupted.

"I'm so sorry," I sobbed again. He pulled me down and wrapped his warm, comforting arms around me.

"I know," he whispered, as I cried into his shoulder.

"I don't _want_ to still be in love with him."

"I know," he repeated.

"But I am… and I miss him," I felt a sharp pain in my heart that confirmed this statement.

"It's okay," he said.

_Wow._

Jake definitely deserved better than someone who's in love with another guy. So it amazed me that he stayed with me anyway, even though I knew how painful it must've been for him.

He was amazing.

"Thank you," I whispered.

* * *

Jacob's POV:

I knew that Bella was in love with Cullen. It wasn't all that hard to miss.

I also knew that Cullen was in love with Bella, or at least felt something strong about her. That was hard to miss, as well. He acted just like any jealous male would. And the way he looked at her… it was the same way that _I_ looked at her.

But I just… loved her too much to let her go. I knew it was wrong, but as long as she thought he wasn't interested (because the asshole really knew how to give her the cold shoulder sometimes), and if she just stayed away from him, she would get over him. She would move on and be happy with me, because I could make her happy, and he couldn't. And that was the big difference between me and the asshole. Besides the fact that he was an asshole.

I knew exactly what would happen if I told him that Bella and I had sex. I didn't want to use that, but I thought if I only made her realize that he's not the perfect saint she thinks he is, she'll finally snap out of it. And she wouldn't be miserable anymore.

That's really all I ever wanted.

* * *

_Today, once again empty book store in Seattle._

Bella's POV:

I was sipping my coffee slowly, distracted by thoughts, when the little princess of the fairy midgets came into my eyesight.

"What?" I asked.

"Spill it," she said, eyebrow raised and arms crossed against her chest.

"I would, but I'm really not in the mood for cleaning coffee from under the register," I dodged.

"Ha ha. Tell me what's on your mind, Bella," she rolled her eyes. "And don't say 'my hair' please".

"I'm just in a weird mood since last night, that's all," I said.

"Is it because -" she started, and then lowered her voice, realizing that Jacob was actually in the store. "Because of you know who?"

"Voldemort?" I used sarcasm, probably for the last time in this conversation, considering the pissed off look on her face.

I sighed. "Yes. I just don't know what to do anymore, you know? I'm supposed to hang out with him and be my usual self, when all I really want to do is ask him a million questions that I can't ask," I complained. "It's exhausting."

And it was, but I was comforted by the fact that Edward had noticed my bad mood and sneaked into my room at night. He thought I didn't notice him sneaking out early morning to go to work, but it didn't pass by me – and neither did his thoughtfulness and kindness towards me.

"Aw, Bells," she gave me the pity look. "He'll come around. I just know he will."

"Come on, Alice. You also _knew_ that '10 out of 10' bartender guy will find you, and he didn't. We both just need to face that things are never that easy; it's not like they're going to waltz in here and scoop us off our feet, and we'll all walk happily towards the sunset."

So imagine my surprise when the little bell attached to the door chimed and in walked in Edward, along with perfect 10 guy.

"Edward," I felt a smile spread on my face slowly.

"Edward?" Alice wrinkled her forehead and turned around. "Jasper!" she gasped.

"Alice," he said and rushed towards her, taking both her hands in his.

"Alice?" Edward said in confusion. "That's _your_ Alice? Bella's Alice is your Alice?"

"I can't believe this," I said in shock as Edward walked towards the counter as well.

"I knew you would find me," Alice said contently.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "I had to go pick up my stupid cousin and I couldn't find you anywhere."

"It's okay, I knew you must have had a good reason," she grinned. "You probably don't know I left my number for you at the club either."

He looked completely shocked. "I'm gonna _kill_ Danny!"

Edward and I chuckled to ourselves as we watched the cute couple stare at each other with huge smiles on their faces and hands held together loosely.

"So what are you doing here?" I smiled to Edward, still picturing us all walking into the sunset. "And how do you know that guy?"

"I'm on my lunch break, actually. My _cousin_, Jasper, and I were having coffee and a Danish right across the street, so I figured I'd stop by, check out where you work. Plus, I just stopped by the apartment to take something and I saw your lunch sitting on the kitchen table, so I grabbed it for you," he grinned and handed me my brown paper lunch bag.

I was just going to tell him that he was a life savior, when I heard someone drop a book nearby.

_What is it with people disrespecting books?_

I turned around to see Jake standing there.

_Oh no._

"Cullen," he said flatly. I glanced back at Edward. They were just… staring at each other.

_Oh god._

"Black," he responded. Alice and Jasper exchanged looks.

Edward shook his head in confusion. "You work with him?" he asked me.

"You _live_ with him?" Jake asked before I could answer the previous question.

_And I'm suddenly back in college._

"I don't feel so good," I said to myself, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Are you two like, together now or something?" Jake asked in a not very friendly tone.

"I… it's complicated," I mumbled.

"That's none of your damn business, Black," Edward stepped in.

"Aw Jesus," Jake replied. "Please don't tell me you're fuck buddies."

"Excuse me?" I fumed in outrage. _Where the _hell_ does he come off saying that to me?_

"Hey, you don't get to fucking talk to her like that," Edward told him.

"Don't let him take advantage of you, Bella," Jake ignored him.

"Nobody's taking advantage of anyone, Jacob," I said through my teeth.

"Hey, guess what, Black? You're not her boyfriend anymore, so stay the fuck out of this," Edward warned.

"Or what, you'll punch me in a book store?" Jake snorted.

I decided to intervene before something happened.

"Okay, you two seriously need to calm down," I said, stepping out of the counter. "Edward, just… please, just go back to work, okay? Please?"

He sighed and nodded. "I'll see you at _home_," he said, looking directly at Jacob as he spoke the last word of the sentence, and walked out.

"Hey, I should get going too, Alice," Jasper said. "Just give me your number before I go."

I smirked to myself, watching Alice and Jasper say goodbye.

"Bella…" Jake started.

"Don't talk to me, Jake," I said curtly, trying to get back behind the counter, but he stood in my way.

"He's no good for you, Bella," he said.

"Jacob. You and I are not boyfriend and girlfriend. We're not even friends. We're coworkers. That's it. Stay the hell out of my personal life," I said.

It may have been harsh, but it was the truth, and Jacob had no business interfering in my relationships.

"I'm not gonna let him hurt you," he said angrily. "I'll do whatever it takes to protect you."

"I don't need or _want_ your protection," I opposed.

"Whatever it takes, Bells," he said and finally got out of my way.

I shook my head. _Damn it, boys and their stupid high testosterone levels._

***

When I got home that evening, I saw Edward sitting silently on the couch, not even watching television. Just staring blankly at the wall.

I closed the apartment door behind me and walked towards the couch, sitting down next to him silently.

After a few moments, he broke the silence. "Why didn't you tell me you work with Jacob Black?"

"I guess… I didn't want to upset you over nothing," I answered truthfully. "We're not even friends; we haven't talked about our personal lives at all, till today."

He nodded, looking thoughtful. Then he suddenly looked at me with this intense gaze, his eyes boring into mine.

"I _have_ to know something, Bells," he said.

I nodded quickly, urging him to tell me what he meant.

"Do you still have feelings for him? Do you still love him?" he asked. I couldn't believe he asked me this seriously, but his face gave away nothing but earnestness.

"Edward," I shook my head. "I never really loved Jacob. I mean, I did, but… as a friend. I was never truly in love with him, I just thought I was."

_Does he seriously still not realize that I've wanted _him_ all this time?_

"And now?" he asked.

_Well, I guess he doesn't._

"No, Edward. You know how I feel," I bit my lip. "Why are you being so insecure?"

"I don't know," he said. "I guess that guy really gets to me, you know?"

"Why?" I asked in confusion. I just couldn't understand what reason Edward had to feel insecure about Jake.

"He had you, Bella. You were his."

"I was never really his, Edward," I replied.

_Only yours._

He thought about it for a few moments. "But in so many ways, you _were_."

I shook my head. "Not in the one way that matters."

He smiled to me, making my heart pound loudly. Then he just wrapped his arm around me and pulled me to him, planting a kiss in my hair. I closed my eyes for a moment, relishing in how good that felt.

"I hope you know what you mean to me, Bells," he said silently.

Something inside me wanted to squeal out of joy, burst into happy tears, go base jumping, or something. Just knowing that he had feelings for me was like… salvation.

I felt the urge to ask him what exactly I mean for him, and all those questions that were burning inside me since yesterday, but I decided to leave it be. _Whatever needs to happen, will happen_, I thought. At least we weren't trying to act like neither of us is waiting for this thing to happen anymore, like last night.

"I do," I smiled and sighed.

_Only, you'll never know what you mean to me. That's something no one could comprehend._


	11. The Heavy Rain

_A/N: Hey heys! Sorry about the trouble with the last chapter, and sorry I removed it and put it up again today – I had to, because I checked today and couldn't see chapter 10. Anyways, thanks so much for all your wonderful reviews, once again! Thanks a lot to __**my girl**__** Jerz**__, I'm Super Girl, Cam_illa, Puasluoma, and Zoe! :D if I forgot anyone, I'm very sorry but really do I love all of you! hehe_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I love Twilight fans though! And Kristen's VMA dress and hairdo!_

* * *

**Chapter 11: The Heavy Rain.**

Bella's POV:

_2 years ago, La Push reservation, Forks._

"I forgot how much I love coming here," I said, staring into the waves. "It's always so beautiful."

First beach was a place that always calmed me; maybe because it reminded me so much of my time in Phoenix, or maybe because I used to come here with my dad when I was a little girl. Either way, it felt like home.

It was spring break, and Jake and I both went home to Forks to spend some time with our dads, who insisted on us coming over. I have to admit, I did miss Charlie while I was at school, and I had been dying to come here and visit him.

"Not as beautiful as you, though," Jacob commented, and I felt his eyes on me.

"Really?" I laughed and cocked an eyebrow at him. "You're using _that_ cheesy line to get in my pants? Did that ever work for you with girls?"

"With each and every one of them," he laughed. "Though I really mean it. I've always thought you're beautiful, Bella. Even when we were little and made mud pies together. I would always screw mine up because I was too busy staring at you."

I laughed. "You did not! You make the best mud pies in Washington."

"Is that the line you're using to get in _my_ pants? Cause I have to say, that won't get you in there."

I raised my eyebrow again.

"Okay, yes it will," he nodded. "In fact, practically anything you'll say will get you in there."

"Thought so," I laughed. "Hey, so did you talk to your dad about Sue?"

Jacob and I had a theory about my dad and Sue Clearwater, so Jacob decided to ask Billy, who was a very big gossip for an old man, what was happening there.

"Yup," he said. "Definitely into Charlie."

"No way!" I laughed out. I was thrilled about the idea of Charlie not being alone when I wasn't home, and being taken care of (because if he had to cook… let's just say it was a good thing that the house had a solid insurance policy).

"Oh yeah. She brings him food home and to the police station… she even brought him worms to use as baits when he and Billy went fishing."

"Wow, she even fed his fish," I said. "That really says something about a girl's feelings."

"Definitely," he agreed.

There was an awkward silence there, and I knew exactly what Jacob was thinking. He was wondering whether I felt even _that_ strongly about him. I hated doing this to him.

"I'm cold," I said, moving a bit closer to him, snuggling into his warm body. I wanted him to somehow know that I loved him too, that I _wanted_ to make it work.

He threw his arm around me and pulled me close, kissing my cheek. I smiled and turned my face to look at him, surprised with his suddenly intense gaze. He bent down to kiss me, and I didn't resist. While his lips caressed mine, all I could think was that this may not have been Edward, but we were making it work, we were acting like a normal couple right now.

_It's still not Edward's lips_, a voice echoed in the back of my mind_._

My stomach growled loudly just then, making us break from the kiss and laugh softly.

"Sorry, I haven't eaten anything since 7am this morning," I admitted. It was already 4pm.

"You want me to make you a mud pie?" he joked.

"As tempting as that sounds, I think we'd better get a _real_ pie in there, or something," I laughed.

"Hey, let's go to Danny's. I am so craving a burger and a cherry pie right now that I think I might be pregnant," he said.

I felt a lump in my throat. I _really_ didn't want to go to Danny's Diner, where Edward and I ate all the time, where I would be constantly reminded of our time together, before he decided to completely cut me out of his life.

"Umm… no, I don't really feel like eating there," I said quietly, hoping my voice wouldn't betray me. I was trying to avoid turning this into another argument about Edward – we had enough of those lately.

"What are you talking about? You always used to tell me how you loved getting waffles and chocolate-banana shakes when you went there," he said, wrinkling his forehead.

After a moment, his jaw clenched and he looked like realization just hit him with a baseball bat. "With _Edward_," he added with a nod. "Of course."

"I'm sorry," I said. That's really all I had to say at that point.

"Yeah, okay."

"What do you want me to say, Jacob?" I snapped. It was pissing me off that this clearly _wasn't_ working like I thought it was. I was tired of having the same argument again and again, which seemed unavoidable.

"I want you to say that you don't care about him anymore," he answered, pulling his arm away from over my shoulder.

"I can't do that, Jake, okay? And I'm so fucking tired of you judging me about this," I fumed.

"Bella, you're with me, you're not even speaking to him anymore, yet you still can't forget about him. Do you understand how that might be frustrating?"

"Well, I'm _sorry_," I said, "if I'm not living up to your expectations. I can't just turn off my feelings. I'm a person."

"I'm a person too, Bella, and you're hurting me right now," he said.

_He's right. This isn't fair to him, to either of us._

_It has to end now._

"This will be the last time I'll be hurting you," I said.

His head snapped to the side to look at me. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, you're right. I'm only hurting you. You don't deserve this." I paused, gathering the guts to continue. "I think we should end it."

"Bella, no," he shook his head. "I overreacted, please, don't do this."

I fought the urge to cry, like I always seemed to do in difficult situations; he just seemed so hurt, and hurting Jacob was something I never intended to do.

"The thing is, I don't think I will ever get over Edward. You need someone who feels like that way about you."

"So if you're not with him, you won't be with anyone else, ever?" he said, sounding agitated. I didn't blame him.

"I don't know," I said truthfully. "I just know that right now, I can't be fully into a relationship with anyone but him."

The moment the words left my mouth, I knew they would only upset him further.

"So we're talking about the person who's been ignoring your calls? That's the person you're so hopelessly in love with?"

"Sadly, yes," I said in a defensive tone, since he apparently had his mind set in attacking me.

"So what have I been to you all this time? Someone to use?"

"Hey, you knew exactly what you were getting into, so don't tell me I've been using you, okay?" I stood up, and he did the same.

"Please, Bella. You just needed someone to fuck you while you fantasize about him," he accused.

_Wow. That's low, Jake._

I wanted so badly to slap him, and I could hardly contain the anger I felt at that moment, but I tried to keep in mind that he was the one who was treated unfairly here, that he was just speaking out of anger.

_Just… get away from here._

I turned away from him and started to walk away, my hands in fists inside my jacket pockets.

"Bella, wait," he called out from behind me.

When he caught up with me, he grabbed a hold of my arm to put me to a stop. "I'm sorry."

"Just let go of me," I said, eyeing his hand on my arm. He let me go.

"You're hanging on to a dream," he said. "He doesn't care about you like I do, and he doesn't love you like I do."

"It doesn't matter," I decided. "This isn't right anymore. I don't know that it ever was."

"I _love_ you," he said, pleading in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, taking in the sad expression of his face as a reminder that I couldn't stay and keep doing this to him.

Time to go now.

I started walking away again, and this time he didn't follow. All that time with Jacob felt like a waste of his time; I was never in it completely, I always knew it had no future.

So just like that, I was done hurting Jacob Black.

* * *

_Today, outside Edward's room in my apartment, Seattle._

"Edward," I knocked louder on his bedroom door.

This morning Edward's room door was closed, which meant he was home. He always made his bed and left the door open when he left for work. Then I found a note on the kitchen table that said:

_Bells,_

_I'm not going to work today,_

_See you when you get home,_

_- E._

I knew Edward well enough to know something was off; he wouldn't just skip work over nothing. I started worrying that he might be sick and didn't want to worry me, so I tried to open the door.

Of course, it was locked.

I heard his angry grunt, so I knew he was definitely not sleeping, so I banged louder and louder on his door.

"Edward, come on. I know you're awake, just open the door," I said.

"Just leave me alone," he shouted back.

I sighed. It made me anxious not knowing if he was alright, if he was feeling well or not.

"Are you sick?" I inquired.

"No!"

"Edward, please let me in, _please_," I asked.

Silence.

"If you let me in, I'll take my clothes off."

In about two seconds, I heard the key turn in the lock and Edward semi opened the door. His hair looked even more disheveled than usual, and he had slight stubble. Edward was the type of guy who needed to shave just about every morning, and he obviously hasn't shaved _this_ morning. He was only wearing these adorable plaid pajama pants, which would've made him look like a boy if his upper body wasn't the one of a very, very sexy man.

"Well?" he said.

"I said I'll take off my clothes if you let me in, not if you just open the door," I reminded him.

He opened the door fully, letting me step inside the room, and closed the door behind us, standing behind me.

I turned around to face him and pressed my hand to his forehead, to see if he feels warm. I didn't see any sign of tissues in the room, which was already a good sign.

"_Bella_," he cried out like a stubborn little boy, taking my hand off of his forehead.

"You're not feverish. Do you feel hot?" I asked.

"Yes, so take your fucking clothes off," he replied curtly.

I gotta say, that was just… so damn hot.

I had no intention of doing that, though, especially not at six fucking thirty in the morning. I really just wanted to get in the room, by any means necessary.

Edward had a record of dirty, bad boy talking, but he was being odd. It didn't feel natural. He seemed different, impatient, kind of like when…

_Wait, what date it is today?_

"I'm not really taking my clothes off, Edward," I rolled my eyes.

"That's right, your stupid rules," he muttered.

_Same thing, every year. There's really only one thing we can do today. I'll have to call Alice to cover me_.

"Take a shower, get dressed," I ordered firmly. "We're leaving in an hour."

"I don't feel like going anywhere," he said as I grabbed a few clean clothes from his dresser.

"Well, you don't really have a choice," I said and got out of the room, leaving him shocked behind me.

"Where are we going, Bella?" he asked, looking annoyed.

"I'll tell you in the car," I said as I put the bag I packed for us on the back of my red Chevy truck. "That way you won't be able to escape."

"I don't think I'll have a problem jumping out of the car when it's barely doing 30 miles an hour," he said. He got inside the car though, and that's really all I cared about, even if he was complaining about it like a little girl.

Once we were both in the car and I started driving, I could practically hear the wheels turning in his head. He was smart enough to figure out why I packed a bag and insisted on us driving somewhere; we never really drove anywhere since we both worked at a walking distance from the apartment and usually ordered food in or cooked it ourselves.

I saw a small smile spread on his face from the corner of my eye, and I smiled to myself.

"Waffles and Chocolate banana shakes?" he finally said.

"Yup," I nodded, trying to adjust the radio station to an old one we always used to listen to when we rode to school together back in the day.

When we finally pulled up at Danny's Diner, it was late morning and exactly time for some nice crispy waffles.

"It looks exactly the same," Edward mused. He hadn't been to Forks in a long time, longer than I. He had no reason to spend any time away from college in Forks, since his parents moved to Los Angeles and once he stopped spending holidays with me at Charlie's.

"I know," I smiled as he opened the door for me. "Thanks." We walked in the diner and settled in our usual booth, since the whole diner was pretty much empty.

Edward picked up the menu from the side of the table and ran his fingers over it, mesmerized.

I laughed. "Stop fondling the menu, Edward."

"I can't help it," he laughed out. "I'm feeling nostalgic."

_God, he looks adorable, with his lips pouting in such a fucking kissable way._

"I know what you mean," I smiled. "I haven't been here since our last time either."

"Really?" Edward wrinkled his forehead. "You haven't been here with…?"

I shook my head. "This is… our thing," I said.

"Oh my god, if it isn't our Edward and Bella!" The owner's wife, who was a waitress here since the place opened, looked pretty happy, and surprised to see us.

"How are you, Janet?" Edward smiled to her. I appreciated the effort he made; he didn't smile too much when this day of the year came around. His _dark day_.

"As good as they get, sweetheart," she said. "If my Danny was here right now, he'd be so thrilled to see you two."

Edward and I exchanged worried looks.

"Oh no," she said as she caught on. "Gosh no, heaven's forbid! He's not here at the moment, he's at home working on those damn taxes."

_Thank god_, I thought. She made it sound like he… wasn't _here_ anymore.

"We're glad to be back here, too," I grinned to her. It all felt so much like home.

"Two waffles and two Cullen and Swan shakes?" she asked.

We both looked at her, confused.

"Oh! You don't know, I suppose. We named the chocolate banana shake a 'Cullen and Swan shake'. It's pretty catchy, people love it around here."

"_Wow_," I exchanged surprised looks with Edward.

"Two waffles and two Cullen and Swan shakes, then," Edward said.

"Coming right up," Janet smiled and left our table.

"I think I reached the peak of my life," I told Edward.

"I know," he said. "I never thought I'd have a milkshake named after me."

"Hey, it was named after the both of us," I retorted.

"Well, yeah… my name first, though," he said.

"I'm sure they just put our names in alphabetical order," I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Swan."

"I'm going to be the bigger person here, instead of the _baby_, and leave it at that," I said.

Ten minutes later Janet came back with our order while we were thumb wrestling over whether we should ask them to change it to a 'Swan Cullen shake'. We stopped moving our thumbs as she neared our table.

"Aww," she said as she put down our plates. "Look at you two, holding hands! Looks like realization finally hit the two of you, huh?" she enthused.

We pulled our hands apart, embarrassed. I could feel the heat spreading across my cheeks now. His hands left such a nice warmth on mine.

"Oh, me and my big mouth," she laughed. "Don't worry about it, just pretend I didn't say anything. Don't let me disturb you," she winked and walked away, mumbling something that sounded like, "Guess some people are just slow."

Edward and I laughed embarrassedly and pulled the plates closer to us.

"We're not that slow," Edward said after she was gone, and smiled to me. He seemed to be handling this day better than in previous years, or at least the ones I spent with him.

I smiled back and started eating, so that blush could get the fuck off my face already. Seriously, it only made me more embarrassed in times of embarrassment.

When we went outside, we ran into another surprise.

"Bella Swan and Edward Cullen?" A shocked voice sounded behind us. I braced myself and turned around to look. I thought it sounded familiar.

_Ah, the Triple P's_.

Lauren and Jessica looked us over, looking overwhelmed. Personally, I didn't get it. _I_ wasn't the one who was walking around with a twin-baby carriage, _Lauren_ was. And they looked _at least_ a year old or so. Jessica wasn't carrying any babies, except the one that was obviously in her belly.

"Uh… Jessica, Lauren," I said, trying to smile politely.

"We're so glad to see you! We were just talking about you the other day!" Jessica said and they looked at each other. "How you two used to be glued to each other."

"Yeah, we heard you went to college and stuff, got degrees," Lauren said.

_So fucking weird._

"Well, Bella did. I dropped out," Edward said.

"But he's going back to college to finish the degree," I added for Edward's dignity's sake.

"That's great," Jessica said.

"It so is," Lauren agreed.

They both looked so sincere, it was confusing. But I was taught to be nice to those who are nice to you, so…

"Your girls are so beautiful," I smiled at the little girls, feeling a little sorry for them for having a mother who dressed them like Bo Beep.

"Thank you so much," she said. "They're Eric's. You know Eric Yorkie."

_Wow, I never thought Lauren, the bitchiest cheerleader in high school would end up marrying the biggest computer geek. Good for her._

"Well, I'm really happy for you," I smiled.

"So we're gonna get going," Edward said, taking my hand and leading me towards my truck.

"Bye!" They called after us.

"That was weird," he said as we got inside the truck again.

"To say the least," I agreed.

"So where to? Charlie's not home yet, is he?"

"No, he's still at work," I started heading towards my next destination.

"Do you have a key?" he asked.

"Yeah, but I just want to make one more stop before we go to my house."

I knew Edward recognized the road as soon as I took the one oh one north. We found the most unbelievable spot while we were hiking one day; a meadow that seemed so secluded, it was like we discovered some new place on earth where no one stepped foot in before us.

We started hiking towards the meadow, but it started pouring and I slipped on the grass too many times. Halfway there, we gave up and decided to come back tomorrow.

Somewhere on our way back, after multiple slips in which Edward caught me, he suddenly decided to pick me up in his arms and carry me the rest of the way back.

"Edward!" I yelled in panic. "Put me down!"

I tried to fight his grip, but I couldn't see a way to win that battle.

"Be quiet, Bells. It will go a lot faster this way," he laughed.

I clung to him. "Edward, you'll slip."

"Don't worry," he laughed again. "I have good balance." Then he thought for a moment and added, "You trust me?"

I scrutinized his face, captured by the way he concentrated on walking though the branches and other obstacles on the road.

"I trust you," I said, my voice straining to be heard through the pouring rain.

"Good," Edward said and picked up the pace, and I moved his wet hair from his eyes, so he could actually see where he was going.

I tried to concentrate on the road ahead of us, but Edward… he just smelled so fucking _good_ in the rain. And for the millionth time that day, I wanted so badly to kiss him. But I just buried my head in his neck and behind his hair, inhaling his scent over and over.

In a matter of minutes we were inside the car, this time Edward driving us to my old house.

"This day has been crazy," I said, staring outside the window at the rain. I used to hate the cold and the rain so much before moving to Forks and encountering Edward. He made everything, including the rainiest weather on the Olympic Peninsula, so much more tolerable.

"Tell me about it, _Triple P's_ married with babies at 22."

"Can you imagine?" I asked rhetorically, shaking my head.

After a moment of silence, he said, "Yes, actually. I can imagine getting married right now."

I gazed at him, and he looked back at me for a moment before returning his eyes to the road. "With the right person, of course," he added. "And if…" he trailed off.

"What?" I asked, looking at his eyes. They stayed on the road ahead.

"Nothing, just… lost my train of thought," he said, shaking his head.

I shrugged. That was most likely not what happened, but whatever he didn't want to share, he didn't have to.

"I can see myself getting married, too," I said after another brief silent, in which the rain pounded on the windshield. "And maybe having a baby boy," I said, and on a bold notion, added, "with _your_ eyes."

I thought it would freak him out, or make him clamp up in silence, but instead he just smiled widely.

"Or a little girl, who would look exactly like you, with big brown eyes and brown curls," he said quietly.

The thought of Edward even considering marrying me and having freaking _babies_ with me set my heart in such a frenzy that I was going to need a pacemaker. A part of me was screaming to watch out, not to get my hopes up and set myself for disappointment, but frankly – I didn't want to listen to these warnings, not just yet.

I didn't even notice we were home until Edward pulled up right outside my house, in Charlie's spot. It was still early, so he wouldn't be home from the station in hours.

Edward got out first, getting our bag from under the covered back side of the truck, and opened the truck door for me.

"Thanks," I said as he reached his hand to help me out of the car, so I wouldn't slip. I appreciated that immensely, because frankly – I'd fallen down enough for one day.

He put his arm around my waist and we ran into the house, unlocking the door with my key. Once we were inside and safe from the rain, Edward set the bag on the floor and stood at the entrance, taking in the sight of the quiet house. I did the same. It looked just as I left it.

"It's been too long," he said. I agreed.

"Come on, you must be cold as hell," I started walking towards the stair area, intending to go upstairs so we can shower and change clothes. I was a little cold myself, but I really didn't want him to catch a cold because of my idea to come to Forks.

"I'm fine," he said and tugged at my arm to stop me. He looked like he had something to say. "Thank you for bringing me here, Bella."

I was going to say that he was welcomed, but I guess I got confused by his delicious smell that was surrounding me, or by his green eyes that shone intensity into my own, or maybe by the fact that I was standing right in front of Edward, both of us wet from the rain. I was close enough for his hair to slowly drip water on my face.

"Edward," I struggled with my words, panting only with excitement. "Remember when you moved in and we thought up a set of ground rules for our home?"

He nodded.

"Well, I don't know if you noticed, but, um…" my eyes trailed downwards as I placed my fingers to feel one of the metal buttons of his plaid shirt, "We're not at home right now," I said, gazing back up at him to stress the meaning behind my words.

"_You're_ my home, Bella," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around me and our foreheads pressed together. I closed my eyes, overwhelmed with my own feelings; my want and need for him, and my _longing_ for him all came crashing down on me at once.

His hot breathe drew my mouth up to his for a searing kiss, one that held every bit of yearning and ache for each other. No rules. No restraints.

* * *

_A/N: I'm __**so sorry**__ for ending the chapter here, but the next chapter will pick up at the same point, so you're not missing out on any lemons :)_

_Also, I don't really know how long it takes to drive from Seattle to Forks, so I just went with whatever worked for me :) hope you liked it!_

_And by the way, if this chapter looks similar to you in any way to Alphabet Weekends, it's really by chance. I've been planning this chapter for ages, like I do with most chapters. I was pretty upset to read kind of similar happenings in Alphabet Weekends (which is an awesome story, by the way), but I guess these things happen, and great minds think alike or something, lol. So sorry 'bout that!_


	12. The College Party

_A/N: Heys Peoples! Loved your comments on the previous chapter! I'm so glad you liked it!_

_Special thanks to __**Jerz**__, cam_illa, I'm Super Girl, PuasluomA, JaniceH, Eat Sleep Breathe Twilight, Angel-cordy, and Sherry80! Thanks sooo much guys!_

_Hope you all like this chapter, it's a big one I think :) and also kind of difficult to write, you'll see why! Also, keep in mind that in the flashback, Edward is in a very weird state of mind since he's not in touch with Bella anymore. He doesn't even know that she and Jacob broke up._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, and also I know nothing of colleges in Seattle =\_

* * *

**Chapter 12: The College Party.**

Bella's POV:

_2 years ago, Campus Cafeteria, Seattle._

"What are you getting?" Alice asked, as she and I stood in front of a sandwich and salad machine.

"I'm not even that hungry," I replied, but took a tuna salad out of the machine anyway and a Cappuccino from the drinks machine. Alice took the same.

We sat down at one of the empty tables in silence. I actually wasn't in the mood for talking at all; I was having one of those days.

I was just stabbing the salad with the plastic fork absentmindedly when a couple of loud girls sat down at a table behind us.

"Oh my god! You totally didn't!" one of them said to the other.

"I totally did!" the other one replied cleverly.

"You crashed a party at Berkeley? You are such a party whore, Jess! You totally betrayed our school," number one said. Alice rolled her eyes.

Edward went to Berkeley College, but I doubted he'd go to a college party. He really wasn't the most sociable type.

I listened in, anyway. Everything that had something to do with Edward still busied my mind – at least now, that I wasn't with Jake anymore, I wasn't feeling guilty about it.

"I totally got some too," she said proudly. The other girl gasped.

"You are such a slut!" she laughed. "What about Aaron?"

"Aaron _who_?" said 'Jess'.

Ironically, college Triple P's were named Jessica as well. I was really starting to resent that name.

"Your _boyfriend_, Aaron."

Alice shook her head with a low sigh.

"Trust me, if this guy would've hit on you, you wouldn't tell him about your boyfriend either," she laughed.

"Oh my gosh! He was _that_ hot?"

"_Totally_," she accented every syllable. "He was like, tall and muscular. Needed a tan _desperately_, but it was actually kind of hot, you know, cause all the guys are like super tan. And his hair was like the sexiest _ever_," she continued. "It was like this weird coppery red and it was all messy. And you know how I love bed hair."

"Oh, I know," the other one said.

_Coppery red messy hair? Tall and pale? Sounds awfully familiar_, a voice in my head spoke. _No_, another voice answered. _That couldn't have been Edward. He would never go to a college party, or come on to someone like… _that_._

Alice caught my worried look with her own.

"I mean, he was so hot that I don't even remember his name," Jessica rambled on.

"Too bad," her friend said. "I could've looked him up."

This caused Jessica to laugh hysterically. "Wait, no, I know this… it was like a weird old name," she said.

_No, no, please god no._

"Richard? No, that wasn't it," she tried. "William?"

_Please let it not be Edward, please…_

"Edward," she finally recalled. "That's it. Virgin boy Edward."

I felt sick to my stomach. I guess I was having a hard time digesting this newfound information about my lost unrequited love.

_Edward went to a college party, and _lost his virginity_ to some fucking bimbo? Has he seriously changed so much since we were friends? Is he seriously one of those guys now?_

"Oh my god, he was a virgin?" the other one asked.

I glanced behind at the girl sitting at the table and nodding. I couldn't believe he had slept with _her_. The kind of girl we used to make fun of in high school. If I had a shred of appetite beforehand, it was all lost now.

"And let's just say if he wouldn't have told me about it, I _never_ would've guessed," she nodded, looking fucking pleased.

Next thing I knew, I was starting to hyperventilate, because I couldn't get the goddamn images out of my mind. My beautiful Edward (who wasn't in any way mine anymore) fucking this girl, his glorious body over hers and the soft heaven of his lips that I was lucky enough to feel once, pressed to her over-glossed lips.

God, jealousy was a bitch.

"Come on," Alice said, taking me by the elbow and dragging me away from the table and those awful girls, from whom I couldn't look away. She hurried me outside the cafeteria and into the girl's bathroom.

"Bells," Alice said, her expression filled with sorrow.

"Just give me a second," I breathed out.

I leaned on the sink, trying to regulate my erratic breathing. It wasn't working.

"Are you okay? You look pale," she asked anxiously.

I wasn't; all I could think of was Edward's hands on her, Edward's tongue on her, Edward's fucking cock inside her, making her shout like a bad porn actress.

I shook my head and ran into one of the bathroom stalls, letting what little breakfast I had out. I felt Alice behind me, wrapping my hair in her hands silently.

"Ugh," I groaned and spat into the toilet before getting up and flushing. I walked to the sink and started rinsing my mouth, and Alice held my hair back again. I felt so grateful towards her.

"Thank you for this," I told her. She nodded.

"Bella, would it be better if he did it with someone that he cared about? That he was… in love with?" she asked.

_God, no. To think of him in love with someone other girl… but on the other hand, to think he just did it with some skank? That some girl he didn't even know got closer to him than I ever had the chance to, even though I knew I was the closest person to him?_

"Believe me, I have absolutely no idea," I answered truthfully.

She stayed with me that night in our dorm room and I told her every little detail about my past with Edward. She knew a lot about him and my feelings towards him, but now she knew absolutely _everything_. Including the kiss. Including the way he pushed me out of his life. It was a very teary conversation.

* * *

Edward's POV:

I couldn't get it out of my head.

Fucking Jacob Black telling me he slept with Bella, that it was the reason she was smiling that morning, and that she's _his_.

I growled and punched the wall beside my bed, just when Emmett came out of the shower.

"Bro, it's bad as it is that you're moping around 24 hours a day, but do you really have to damage our walls?" he said, putting on a green polo shirt.

"I'm not moping," I said. "Guys don't mope."

"No, _guys_ don't. Pussies like you, however, do," he replied.

I rolled my eyes. I really wasn't moping, I was just…

Yeah, okay, there was a little moping. But it was very _manly_ moping.

"You need to get out, have some fun, man," he said, checking himself out in the mirror and fixing his hair. "You can come with me to the party."

"A frat party? I don't think so."

"There will be alcohol and hot girls in tiny outfits, the two ultimate things to make a man feel better," he tried to convince. "Worst case, you get shit drunk and I'll carry you home like the moping baby you are."

_I guess getting out of here wouldn't be such a terrible idea… get some beer and listen to music. I don't actually have to talk to anyone._

"Yeah, alright I guess," I said and got up from the bed.

"That's my little bro," Emmett enthused.

An hour and a half later, I was standing in some corner alone at the party, drinking a bottle of beer. Emmett already left the party with some girl, so I really had no idea what I was still doing there.

I was just about to leave, when some girl addressed me. She had dark red hair and was wearing the tiniest piece of fabric, which I presumed was supposed to be a strapless mini dress.

"Hi there," she said loudly to get through the music – which wasn't that good after all. She tried to cling to my body, but I backed away slightly, trying not to hurt her fucking feelings or something. "You here alone?"

I just nodded and resumed drinking my beer, hoping she would get the hint.

"I'm Jessica," she said. Figures. Triple P's were named the same everywhere.

"Edward," I said.

"You know, I could make tonight a little less lonely for you," she said. Were all girls these days this fucking cheesy?

"Not interested," I simply said. I wondered if she noticed that the only words I spoke to her were 'Edward' and 'Not Interested', because she still stuck around.

"I see," she said, nodding to herself. I just hoped she wouldn't nod too hard, otherwise her brain might leak out. "Well in that case, I can make you forget all about her."

The idea of forgetting about Bella was both appealing and revolting to me.

_Dark red hair could look brown in the dark, right?_

No, I needed to forget. Just one night, to forget. And what beer can't do, another girl might.

"Let's go," I told her, leading the way back to my room.

Ironically enough, while I wanted to forget, all I could do was remember Bella. My mind was filled with images of her laughing, or just staring thoughtfully, or closing her eyes and waiting for me to kiss her under a fucking mistletoe.

Once we were in the darkness of my room, I started imagining, too. She was petite, like Bella, and as I predicted, in the dark you couldn't see the difference in their skin tone or hair color.

It was low, but I didn't care. She was taking advantage of me, and I was doing the same to her.

I pressed her to the door and kissed her. She kissed me back enthusiastically, her fingers crawling inside my hair. She kissed nothing like Bella, and tasted nothing like Bella. Her tiny hands, though, reminded me of Bella's, grabbing my hair as we kissed.

Then she let go of my hair and took action. She unbuttoned my shirt, removing it from my body, and started working my jeans next, removing them in a matter of two seconds.

I ran my hands up the smooth skin of her thigh and upwards, to pull her dress over her head impatiently. I don't know if it was the alcohol, or the flashes of Bella in my head, but at that moment, I felt like I couldn't wait.

It helped that she wasn't wearing any bra or panties under that dress.

I pushed her on my bed – not too harshly – and climbed on top of her. This time I kissed down her neck eagerly, making her moan softly.

I could imagine those are Bella's moans.

I continued down to her breasts, taking one of the nipples in my mouth and sucked it gently, eliciting more moans and sounds of pleasure.

I guess she felt like she couldn't wait, because she pulled my boxers down with the help of her feet.

I reached the drawer in my night dresser to get a condom, because let's face it – there was no way I would have sex with this complete stranger without protection, pills or no pills.

"You do this a lot, don't you?" she asked while I put the condom quickly on. I had no idea why she asked, but I decided to tell the truth.

"I've never done this, actually," I said.

"Oh my god, you're a virgin?" she asked, looking quite amused.

I pushed into her and said, "Not anymore."

She only groaned.

I started with a steady pace, and being the asshole that I was, buried my head in her neck to try and picture Bella again.

It wasn't working. She started making sounds that were nowhere near Bella. More like Belladonna. As I continued, it only got worse. She only got louder, and started writhing under me like a goddamn porn princess.

I just picked up the pace, and once she reached her climax and the noise she was making lessened, I thought about anything Bella; _Bella's pale skin, Bella's pink lips, Bella blushing, biting her lip, fucking riding my cock and biting her lip…_

And there you go. It took all my force not to groan out Bella's name.

She seemed to enjoy the whole thing, and she was out of there pretty quickly; I guess she wanted to avoid the morning's "walk of shame".

"Thanks," she said with a smile and kissed my lips before she went.

I felt like a complete jerk, like a fucking perverted sick-o, but I felt sorrier for myself, frankly.

It was clear that I was never going to be able to get over Bella Swan, and since I couldn't be with her, and couldn't be with anyone else – I was pretty much screwed for the rest of my life.

* * *

Bella's POV:

_Today, Charlie's house, Forks_.

"_You're_ my home, Bella," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around me and our foreheads pressed together. I closed my eyes, overwhelmed with my own feelings; my want and need for him, and my _longing_ for him all came crashing down on me at once.

His hot breathe drew my mouth up to his for a searing kiss, one that held every bit of yearning and ache for each other. No rules. No restraints.

He held my face between his hands, and I fisted my hands tightly in his hair, just like we both did the last time we had kissed in this house. I felt our bodies press against one another instinctively, as our lips and tongues attempted to convey what we felt for each other and how badly we wanted, _needed_ each other.

This time, it just wasn't enough.

I moved my hands from his hair down to the back of his neck and to his top shirt, pulling it roughly to make all the metal buttons pop open.

Edward groaned into my mouth and moved his hands inside my jacket, making it fall on the floor, every sound echoing in the silent house.

I broke from the kiss to pull his wet long sleeved t-shirt over his head. Our bodies moved closer again, and our lips hovered against one another, unsure of how to proceed. It was like facing your favorite dessert, and trying to decide from which side you want to take the first bite of.

I finally grabbed his hand and pulled him upstairs with me, to my old room.

Once I closed the door, we continued stripping each other of our wet clothes with eagerness that had nothing to do with the fact that they were soaking wet. We were down to our underwear when Edward kissed me again.

He laid me slowly on the bed, unhooking my bra in the process. I held onto his back and pulled him with me, on top of my body. I shuddered as he removed my bra completely and pressed his chest, and his lips, to mine. Edward's scent surrounded me entirely, and it was so fucking delicious I thought I was going to go crazy.

He pulled back from me, making my whole body miss his warmth, and slowly pulled my (absolutely soaked, and not from the rain) panties down my legs to remove them. I tried to pull him back to me, but he wouldn't let me.

Instead, he put his hands on my body.

He moved his hand to stroke down my cheek, to my neck and on my breast, making me moan involuntarily when his fingers contacted my hardened nipple. His hand kept on caressing my body, moving down my stomach and up my thigh.

"You are so soft," he whispered, his eyes roaming my body and his hair trickling cold drops of water on my heated skin. I groaned.

He laid his lips on my body, planting open kisses on my sensitive belly button, up the center of my stomach and between my breasts to reach my neck. I moaned again and moved my hands up his smooth body to feel him, as he kissed, licked, and bit the skin of my neck hungrily, while one of his hands explored the wetness between the lips of my pussy.

He seemed so intent on slowly savoring every part of my body, but I couldn't wait any longer; I needed him.

I moved my hands to the waistband of his boxers and managed, after a slight struggle, to pull them off. Then I grabbed his face between my hands and pulled him to another eager kiss. He knew how badly I wanted him, and I could tell from his kiss that he couldn't wait either.

He broke the kiss slowly and gazed down at me with intensity. Our eyes connected as he positioned himself right at my entrance, officially taking the longest time, in our entire history together, to penetrate me. This meant something more, more than any of our times together.

See, Edward was the kind of person that, in intimate situations, had no choice but to bare his soul. Bare his feelings. And I considered right that second that his feelings towards me were perhaps deeper than I had thought.

Then I felt him slowly plunge into me, and my back arched immediately, causing my body to press up to his with a loud groan. He groaned as well, wrapping one of his arms around my back to keep my body pressed even tighter to his as he started pushing into me slowly.

I pulled his face down to mine by his hair and captured his lips between mine for another kiss. The more fervent and hot the kiss grew, the faster his thrusts grew.

When we were both nearly out of air, he broke away from the kiss and pressed his forehead to mine, breathing as raggedly as I was.

"Bella," he whispered, his eyes on my face and mine on his.

"Edward," I responded with a sound that was both a whisper and a moan.

"Tell me… you're mine," he struggled to speak, and I noticed that his body was shaking above mine. "Please tell me that you're mine," he breathed out.

"I'm yours," I nodded, moving my hands up his back to grasp his face.

There was no question about it, I was his. All his. _Only_ his.

He started placing small kisses on my face; my forehead, my eyelids, down my cheek, and finally – my lips. I kissed him back longingly, and kept on kissing until we weren't able to contain the growing sounds of pleasure inside the kiss and had to break apart.

He never stopped staring into my eyes, even if both our eyes were hazed and heavy with passion.

The sensations were hard to even grasp; it was hard to focus on one specific thing. On the physical side, it felt so fucking amazing. I was close, and I could feel that it was going to be extremely intense. On the emotional side, I don't think I've ever felt that close to Edward in my life. I almost fucking cried in the middle of the whole thing.

My orgasm hit me with surprise, with one particularly hard, deep thrust on Edward's side. I cried out several times, almost whimpering, as I felt my whole body quiver from head to toe and I tensed up even further against him. He kept going, helping me ride out the waves of it. The loud groans he was sounding all the while only intensified my own pleasure; hearing just how good it felt for him made it that much better.

Then he kissed me one more time, struggling to stay up and not collapse on top of me. I encouraged him with my hands to let go and just put his weight on me, let me feel him completely. He moaned my name and let go, releasing inside of me. I embraced him tightly to me as he came, trembling in my arms as badly I was a moment ago.

After a few moments of catching our breaths, he pulled out and lifted himself up to hover above me. I looked up at him in silence, still not breathing evenly. He looked like he had something to say, but he didn't say anything. He just leaned down and kissed me softly, gently. I ran my hand through his hair gazed at him.

_God, I wish I could tell him that I love him right now._

He moved over to lie beside me and pulled me to him. We rested for a while like that, with him running his hand through my hair repeatedly. I felt so relaxed, like I could do this my entire life – just be in bed with Edward - but unfortunately, I couldn't. Especially when Charlie was going to be home in a couple of hours.

After we got up, we took a shower together, returning to our usual playful selves by having ourselves a little tickle war. Neither of us was talking about what happened, at least for now.

After getting dressed, we made a run down to the store and Edward helped me cook dinner for Charlie – as much as he _could_ actually help with cooking without making a mess, that is – and now all that was left was for Charlie to get home from work.

We waited for him in the living room, sitting comfortably on the couch and watching television, until we heard the key turn in the lock.

We both smiled excitedly and got up, looking forward to seeing Charlie and the surprised look on his face, if he hadn't already heard from one of the blabber mouths in this town that we were here.

When he walked in and took a look at us, his expression changed from surprised to something else entirely.

_Uh oh. It's Charlie's angry face. What have I done to earn the angry face? He can't know that I had sex with Edward in the house just a few hours ago, right? God, I hope not._

"Hi, dad," I said with a nervous smile, purposely referring to him as 'dad' and not 'Charlie'. Try and get on his good graces.

"_You two_," Charlie stood in front of us with his hands crossed against his chest in a real chief-of-police manner. "Care to explain to me why I have to get a call down at the station from Billy Black, telling me that you two are _living_ _together_?"


	13. The Prude

_A/N: Hello's! Wow, thanks for the reviews! I know there aren't many, but I don't really care about the quantity, because every one of your reviews leaves me all excited! So as long as some of you love this story like I do, I'm pleased :) and please tell me what your favorite parts are, on your review! I love that :D hehe enjoy!_

_Special thanks to __**Jerz**__, Cam_illa, iwannabe, antariangirl93, Mzdazzled, Puasluoma, and Sherry80! __**Iwannabe**__ – that's a great idea, I might just use it in one of the next chapters! Thanks alot!_

_Btw – couldn't recall if Charlie's room was upstairs or downstairs, so I just went with whatever worked best for me ;) lol_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight! *cries*_

* * *

**Chapter 13: The Prude.  
**

Edward's POV:

_Three years ago, outside Bella's dorm room in college._

I stood outside the door, hesitating before I could knock. I took one relaxing breath.

_This is ridiculous. Why am I even this nervous?_

Bella had been urging me for some time now to come over to her dorm room, meet her roommate, just hang out. When she told me over the phone that Black was away, visiting his dad, something in my mind told me that now was the perfect time. I had no idea what I was expecting to happen, or what I was planning to do, but I was pretty sure that some darker part of my mind wanted to make a move on Bella.

I shook my head and knocked on the door three times. I immediately heard some sort of thud, followed by someone fumbling with something, and then the door opened.

Bella stood in front of me, smiling the brightest, most genuine smile. She wore jeans with a dark blue tank top that made her ivory skin look amazing. Her hair was up in a ponytail, leaving her neck exposed and tempting. She was a little flushed and also a little out of breath, which made her chest rise and fall noticeably.

_Well, I guess _that's_ why I'm nervous._

"Hey," she breathed out.

"Hi," I couldn't help but grin back to her as she let me in and closed the door behind me. I fought the urge to make real on a little fantasy I had these days by pressing her to the door and taking her against it.

"What was all that noise?" I said, denying myself the chance to do anything like that.

"Oh, I, uh… just dropped the chair on my way to the door. And tripped over it. I'm fine, though," she said awkwardly.

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh. She was always so clumsy, and it really only added to her charm.

_Did she rush to the door because she knew it was me?_ One side of me hoped. The other side was telling me that the entire universe does not revolve around me.

"So… this is where you live nowadays, huh?" I asked, looking around. Everything was tidy and clean, and very much a girl's room.

"Yup," she said, plopping down on one of the beds. "Me and Alice. You really should meet her. I think you might get a real kick out of her."

"What makes you say that?" I asked, wrinkling my forehead as I continued to walk around and explore everything 'Bella' in the room.

"Oh, you'll see," she winked. _Did she really just wink at me?_

"Well, this half of the room looks pretty much the same as your room in Forks," I pointed out. "You used to keep your notebooks in this exact drawer," I mused, pulling out the second drawer in the desk. There was a bunch of pages with what looked like poems on them.

"What are you doing?" Bella panicked and got up from the bed. "No, do not touch those -" before she could continue, I pulled out the pages to examine them, mostly wanting to annoy Bella, but also a little curious.

"What are these?" I asked, reading the first lines.

"It's just homework – poetry, I suck at poetry. Give that to me."

"No," I turned my back to her as she made a move to grab the pages between my hands.

"Edward!" She tried again and I blocked her with my hand.

"Hold on," I said, continuing to scan the poem on the first page.

"Ugh!" she groaned in defeat as I read on.

***

_Come home, lost sun of mine_

_To make my universe_

_Revolve around you once more_

_Give me two heartbeats instead of just one_

_To make me pant_

_Make me lose control_

_Surround me softly with your scent_

_To comfort me_

_While I continually fall_

_Push me further and further to the edge_

_To bring me back_

_And we'll make this our home._

_***_

_Well fuck. Me_.

A moment passed before I was able to say something. I wanted to tease her about the nature of the song – to get some sort of cute agitated reaction – but I just couldn't; it was far too good, and I didn't want to make her feel insecure about it.

To tell the honest truth, it moved me and turned me the fuck on, all at the same time.

"Bella, that's… _wow_," I said 'articulately'.

She sighed. "I wish you wouldn't have read that," she said quietly.

"Why?" I turned my gaze back to her, putting the paper sheets aside.

She folded her hands against her chest and looked down, blushing terribly.

_God, what are you doing to me?_

All I could think about was pushing her back to the bed and then pushing her further and further to the edge.

"Well, it's kind of..." she started, avoiding the fixation of my eyes on her face, "You know."

I couldn't help myself but to get closer, until I towered over her. I was acting on instinct. My body was pulling me towards her, and I had no say in the matter. She still avoided my eyes.

"Sexual," I said quietly, and heard her take a sharp intake of breath.

"Yes," she breathed out, completely unaware of the shivers that word, coming out of _her_ in _that_ way, sent through my body.

It registered with me that she made no attempt to move backwards, as I kept narrowing the distance between our bodies until I felt one of her thighs against mine, and her chest just barely grazed my upper abdomen. I noticed we were both breathing heavily, almost panting into each other.

I let myself feel dazed with the scent that came off her skin and the air she breathed out.

_Bella_, I inhaled deeply.

As if she heard me, she finally lifted her eyes to meet mine in a forceful gaze, for just one moment breaking it to move her eyes down to my lips. It seemed so much like she wanted this, too.

That was it. Taken or not, I was making my move.

I leaned over slightly, already closing my eyes, when I heard a key turn in the lock. We both abruptly pulled back with embarrassment, and distanced ourselves enough to appear casual. I ran a nervous hand through my hair.

"Hey, Bells!" the petite girl who entered the room – Alice – called cheerfully. Actually, I don't think I've heard anyone speak quite so cheerfully. She had straight, short black hair and dark blue eyes. She was pretty, like Bella had said, but she was nowhere near as beautiful as Bella was.

"Hey, A-Alice," Bella spoke only a little shakily and smiled to her. "Uh… this is Edward," she gestured towards me.

"Hi," I said, trying to smile casually as well. This was one of those rare moments when I acted as awkward as Bella did sometimes. Only she made it look adorable, and I must've looked like a complete idiot.

"Edward," she grinned to Bella as she walked over to us, giving her a look that made me wonder if they had ever discussed me. "It's nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you."

"Yeah, well, Bella mentioned you quite a few times as well," I said, looking over at Bella, who was glaring at Alice for some reason. "She actually said you were the girl version of me."

Alice laughed out. "Oh, did she say that?"

"I might've said something like that, yes," Bella said and quickly changed the subject. "Hey, anyone craving a cup of coffee like I am?"

"Actually, I just had some from the machine," Alice said.

"Oh, but coffee shop coffee is so much better than machine coffee. You know what? We should all go to the coffee shop and have some real, good coffee," Bella enthused.

"Yeah, let's do that," I complied, really wanting to get out of the uncomfortable situation in that room.

"Are you sure a cup of coffee is what you really need right now, Bells?" Alice asked, raising an eyebrow at Bella's jumpy behavior.

"Yes, let's go," Bella urged, already heading to the door.

"O…kay," Alice said, obviously sensing our strange behavior.

She was kind enough not to bring it up, although I was sure that she was going to ask Bella about it later.

Once we were out and hanging out at the coffee shop, Alice and I actually kind of bonded. I could see why Bella said I would get a kick out of her – she was such a hyperactive little pixie, even though she drank decaf. And she was a sweet person, and I had no doubt that she cared for Bella. Not in the way that I did, but still.

That poem continued to drive me crazy, though. I knew that when people wrote poems and songs, they weren't necessarily writing them about or towards anyone in particular, but I couldn't stop myself from wondering if it was somehow intended towards me.

Another part of me was considering that she might've been thinking about Jacob Black while writing it, and the thought literally ached. It made sense, though; he _was_ her boyfriend.

He, not I.

I was too late to realize how I felt about Bella, and even though we shared one fucking magnificent kiss, I had no idea how she felt about me. I only knew she regretted it.

The moment that kiss was over, she chose him over me.

But she still confused me, because the way she looked at me mirrored the longing way I gazed at her. The way she smiled brightly to me was always brighter than any smile I've ever seen her give Black.

And before, when I almost kissed her. She didn't try to resist or pull back, until Alice unintentionally interrupted us.

Would she have regretted it, if we kissed again? Probably.

Maybe it was for the better; maybe I was going to have to deal with just being her friend.

I looked over at her, as she laughed heartily at something Alice had said. She looked so breathtaking, and I doubted if I could ever just be her friend.

* * *

_**A/N**: Btw, this flashback happened before Bella and Jacob had sex… and the poem is actually something I just wrote, and I'm aware that it's not as good as Edward says it is lol_

* * *

Bella's POV:

_Today, standing in front of one angry father, back in Forks._

"Hi, dad," I said with a nervous smile, purposely referring to him as 'dad' and not 'Charlie'. Try and get on his good graces.

"_You two_," Charlie stood in front of us with his hands crossed against his chest in a real chief-of-police manner. "Care to explain to me why I have to get a call down to the station from Billy Black, telling me that you two are _living_ _together_?"

Both mine and Edward's eyes threatened to pop out of their sockets.

"I'm gonna _kill_ Jake," I said through my teeth.

"You will not blame this on Jacob, young lady. Now I think you and I should have ourselves a little talk in the kitchen," he said and signaled with his head for me to get in there.

_Did he just call me young lady?_

The whole situation made me feel like I was 16 again.

"Charlie, it's _my_ fault, _I_ told her she shouldn't tell you," Edward took the blame. My head shot up to him and I gave him a threatening look, warning him to stop talking. The last thing I wanted was for Charlie to stop liking Edward for something he didn't do.

"It's _Mr. Swan_ for you, boy. And don't worry, I'll deal with you next, right after I clean out my shotgun," he said and walked towards and kitchen, with me following.

I just hoped Edward wouldn't be too panicked, which by the expression on his face, he was.

Once we were alone in the kitchen, Charlie told me to sit on the chair and started pacing in front of me.

"You kept this from me, Isabella," he said angrily. "You _lied_ to me and told me that you live alone, which I wasn't too happy about in the first place, but I trusted you when you said you'll be able to defend yourself."

"I didn't lie, dad," I shook my head. "Edward moving in was… a recent development. He had a flood in his apartment, and he had no where else to go. I just didn't get a chance to tell you, that's all."

He nodded his head, which I took for a good sign. "Well that's a kind thing you did, but it should've been temporary. He has a job; he can afford to rent his own space."

_That's it. I'm a grown woman and I will not have my father telling me what to do. Especially when it comes to Edward. I need to stand my ground, for once._

"No, dad," I said. "I don't want him to move out."

"Excuse me?" he narrowed his eyes.

"And I am _not_ a young lady. I'm an adult now, dad, and I can make my own decisions. I want him to stay," I insisted.

"I don't want you living with some boy," he sounded agitated.

"This is not _some boy_, dad. It's Edward."

"Exactly. The same Edward that decided one day he didn't want to be your friend anymore, and left you hurt," he said.

I was really hoping Edward couldn't hear us right about now.

"We've moved past that now," I explained. "He wouldn't do that to me again."

"You sure about that?" he said cynically.

"Yes, I'm sure. Besides, it'll be better for me not to be alone all the time," I tried to make him see this reasonably.

"Well," he sighed. "It doesn't really matter what I say, does it?"

I shook my head.

"Man, I liked it so much better when you were under aged."

I laughed, and got up to give him a softening hug. "It's going to be fine. Edward is… really great," I understated.

He eyed me suspiciously for a moment. "Bella… I want you to be careful. As careful as you can be."

"I'm always careful, dad," I answered.

"I know that, but that's not what I mean. Look, I don't want to have my nose in your business, but I know how you used to be… concerning Edward," he said, looking uncomfortable.

"How I used to be?" I mumbled, pretty sure my cheeks are ten shades of red by now. I couldn't believe Charlie noticed anything.

"Yeah, you know. Before Jacob, and… well, uh, Christmas."

"Christmas?" I asked. I must've sounded like an idiot, repeating everything he had said. "How did you…?"

"It wasn't hard to guess. I hung that mistletoes myself, and you two came out from being alone in the kitchen red faced and acting like you don't know each other."

"Oh god," I winced. I felt sick with myself. Charlie knew what I had done to Jacob, he knew everything. Not to mention this was my dad, and he knew I was _kissing a boy_!

Charlie cleared his throat. "Anyway… you don't want to be in that place again. I want you to be happy, you've suffered enough."

I can't say that I wasn't completely shocked. Charlie noticed everything; he knew how much I had suffered, how hard it had been on me. All these years I thought he had been oblivious to the way I felt about Edward, and he actually knew everything. He probably just didn't know how he could help, so he said nothing – which was probably for the best.

And now he was doing what he always did. He was taking care of my best interest. And I loved him so much for it.

"Thanks, dad," I said and tip toed to kiss his cheek. He looked embarrassed.

"You're welcome, honey," he said, smiling. "Is that pot roast in the oven?" he asked.

I nodded with a smile. "And Edward helped me make it for you. You really should ease up on him, he was really excited to come here and see you again, so… play nice?"

"The shotgun thing was a little much, wasn't it?" he asked.

"Just a little, yeah," I laughed.

"Fine, I'll give it my best _shot_," he chuckled.

"Very funny, dad," I rolled my eyes at his pun.

As soon as we entered the living room, Edward walked up to Charlie, looking all frightened. I could barely keep my chuckles to myself, watching him squirm like that.

"Sir, I just wanted to say that I am really, really sorry –" Edward started, and Charlie raised his hand to shut him up.

"That's okay, I _may_ have overreacted," Charlie said. "A bit. You're welcome to stay, of course."

"Thank you so much, Mr. Swan," Edward said, looking terrified and relieved all at the same time while he groveled.

"No problem," Charlie said.

I gave him a stern look, raising my eyebrows.

"And you can call me Charlie," he added in defeat.

"That's better," I smiled, pleased. "Now let's eat, shall we?"

"We shall," Edward said and, on our way following Charlie into the kitchen, gave me a lusty gaze that stirred up my insides and instantly reminded me of what we were previously up to. I couldn't keep from blushing and biting on my bottom lip as my breath quickened. Did he have to make me react like this around my dad, of all people?

At dinner, we talked about old times in Forks, heard some gossip from Charlie about what the locals had been up to, especially _Sue Clearwater_, and of course, he insisted on telling me that Jacob still talked about me to his father all the time. I reminded myself warily to try and remember that fact when sharing anything with Jacob that I didn't want my father to know about.

Before Charlie headed to bed, Edward promised him for the fourth time tonight that he didn't mind sleeping on the couch. I smiled to myself. Knowing Charlie, he was trying to make sure that Edward won't end up sleeping in my bed, before saying a proper goodbye and leaving us to ourselves.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Edward whispered as I took his hand and led him up the stairs after a while of watching TV on the couch. I just kept climbing up the stairs.

"Bella, I promised your dad that I would sleep on the couch," he tried again as we reached upstairs.

I rolled my eyes. "What Charlie doesn't know won't hurt him."

He hesitated as we stood at the entrance to my room. "I don't know, Bells. What if he gets thirsty in the middle of the night and on his way to the kitchen notices I'm not on the couch? I don't wanna get shot."

"Aww, don't worry. I'll protect you," I said as I raised my hand to his face, caressing down his cheek and to his neck playfully.

"_Bella_," he grabbed my hand in his, acting all serious.

"_Edward_," I replied. "Look, neither of us is going to sleep yet, so you can be in my room until we get tired and then go sleep on the couch," I said. "Now come on."

***

We must've fallen asleep, because I woke up now and found myself and Edward fully clothed and lying on my bed, facing each other.

I lifted myself slightly up to glance at the alarm clock behind Edward. It read 1:13am. I needed to wake him up and tell him to go sleep on the couch, but I just didn't have the heart to do it; he looked so adorable and peaceful with his eyes closed and his lips pouting boyishly.

I decided to go and sleep on the couch myself, and leave the comfort of the bed to Edward.

_Just one more minute_, I thought to myself as I continued studying the beautiful features of his face.

I thought about what happened earlier, right in this very bed. Edward and I naked and slick and pressed against each other in the most glorious of ways, and how he pleaded me to tell him I was his. I shuddered to the memory of his words, and the desperation in his voice that spoke volumes.

I wanted so much to tell him that I loved him, that he's the only one I could ever love, but I couldn't; not when I didn't know how he felt. Not when I could so easily face rejection again, from the person who means most to me. I didn't know how he would react if I expressed my emotions like that. Would it be too much, too soon? Would he walk away?

No, I needed to know how he felt about me, to know that he was ready to be fully in this, before I could be fully in this.

_But you already are_, my inner voice reminded me.

_Oh, shush_, I quieted the voice and let my thoughts wander back to what happened. I didn't quite know how to call it. I mean, it was definitely sex, but it felt like more.

It felt like… _lovemaking_. A word I would roll my eyes at and avoid using, if it hadn't been for the way Edward quaked the earth beneath me, if only by exposing himself to me and asking me to tell him I was his.

I didn't want to think about that, not when we haven't even discussed what happened and what it meant for us, or even about our feelings towards one another. We were away from home now, which was a perfectly good excuse for breaking my well thought of rules, but what would happen when we get home?

I definitely didn't want to be back where we had been, fucking each other senseless with no strings attached. I _wanted_ strings. I wanted to finally, _finally_ be able to be with him, completely and honestly. To not just wait for him, like I had been for basically my entire adult life.

But I knew that I would wait. I knew I would hang on every sweet word he said to me and every step he made towards me, and wait. I had no choice anymore.

As I considered that notion, Edward's eyes fluttered open to look back at me.

* * *

Edward's POV:

I opened my eyes slowly, a bit startled to find Bella lying beside me and staring at me. She seemed surprised as well to have been 'caught'.

After a moment, when I got over my initial shock, I took notice of how beautiful she looked – almost angel like – with her skin slightly glowing in the moonlight. Her eyes were darkened with desire as she licked her lips slowly.

Without even thinking, I reached out my hand and placed it on the small of her back, pulling her body roughly to me. I crushed my lips onto hers forcefully, needing to taste her, to surround myself with her.

I feared I might've scared her, but she grasped my hair between her fingers and pressed my to her, urging me on as our lips moved together with vigor. I guided her lips open with mine and slid my tongue to meet hers, making her moan into the kiss.

The sound of her moan only encouraged me on, and I deepened the kiss, moving my hand inside her shirt and up the smooth skin of her back. I didn't expect her to swiftly move her hand to my chest, push me onto my back, and climb on top of me to straddle my hips – but it was fucking hot.

I groaned as she bent down and took my lips between hers, teasingly kissing them and biting my lower lip. The sound of our frantic breathing as we roamed each other's bodies with our hands echoed in the silent room.

Bella pulled back only to attack my neck with her lips, placing wet open mouthed kisses up to my ear. I groaned as she bit my earlobe, fucking purring in my ear.

"_Fuck_, Bella," I panted. If she only knew the things she did to me. That went straight to my already painfully hard cock, but I knew that there was nothing I could do about it. There was nothing I could do about wanting Bella desperately, or about feeling horny as fuck - not when I was so aware of her chief-of-police dad, who was sleeping in the next room.

She pulled herself up with, biting her lip, and her hands tugged at the first button of her shirt, undoing it. I grasped her wrists gently in my hands, stopping her.

"Bella, what are you doing?" I said quietly.

"I'm taking off my shirt," she said lightly, wearing a wicked grin on her face.

"But _why_ are you doing that?" I asked. Did she really want to do this _now_, when her dad could hear us?

"Uh, because I got tired of waiting for you to do it?" She said and bent down to kiss me again.

Once her lips were on mine again, it was hard to remember why I had been meaning to stop this or that I even wanted to stop this, for that matter. With every stroke of her tongue in my mouth, I felt my self control crumble away. I couldn't even bring myself to say stop her when she quickly undid the buttons of her shirt, while distracting me with her glorious lips.

I did nothing to stop her when she re-positioned herself and started grinding on my erection, applying the most amazing pressure on it. I just moaned into her mouth softly, wanting her to continue. My hands travelled upwards slowly inside her unbuttoned shirt and ghosted over her lace covered breast, before I realized that Charlie could wake up and walk in while I was messing around with his _half naked daughter_. And if I didn't stop this now, if I _touched_ her, I wouldn't be able to stop at all.

I placed my hands on her shoulders instead and pushed her gently, but firmly away. I felt the loss the moment our lips detached.

"Bella, stop," I whispered, inwardly cursing myself for this.

"Why?" she asked breathlessly, looking a little pissed off.

"Because, your dad is in the next room."

"So?"

"What if he wakes up? What if he decides to check up on you and finds us like this?" I tried to calm my breathing, as well as my goddamn hard-on.

"Like how? We're not even naked," she rolled her eyes.

"Exactly, and I intend to keep it that way," I said with fake resolve.

"Edward!" she retorted.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm not going to risk being caught by a man who sleeps with a loaded gun under his bed. I have a feeling that he won't appreciate what I'm doing to his daughter."

"Charlie's not going to _shoot_ you," she laughed softly. "He's not even going to wake up. Now will you relax?"

She lowered her mouth to my neck again, tugging at the skin with her teeth while she reached behind her and dragged her nails slowly on my still covered cock.

My eyes rolled to the back of my head. "God, you're killing me," I groaned.

"Good," she said huskily to my ear, and I could practically hear her smile.

I moved her away again, attempting to regain my self control. It wasn't right doing it here.

"Now what?" she asked.

"It's just that… even if he doesn't wake up, it's kind of weirding me out doing it like this. I'll feel like I'm doing something… immoral," I tried to explain. "You saw what a big deal he made that I'll sleep on the couch."

"Well, you're the one who started this," she argued.

"What? I _kissed_ you," I said.

"Yes, and not some innocent kiss either. You started a fire, and now you're going to have to put it out," she said and grinded her pussy against me one more time.

I groaned again. "I'm horny as it is without you doing that."

"You seriously don't want to do this," she said incredulously.

"Does it fucking _feel_ to you like I don't want to do this?" I grabbed her hips and grinded her against me again – purely to make a point, of course. We both moaned in unison. "I want you so badly right now, but I just can't with your dad here. I'm sorry," I sighed.

"Fine," she said curtly and dismounted me, making me want to literally kill myself for doing this.

_Idiot. I'm a fucking idiot._

"Are you mad?" I asked as she buttoned her shirt back.

"Yup," she huffed and grabbed one of the pillows, leaving the bed.

"What are you doing?" I got up from the bed as well.

"I'm going to sleep on the couch," she said angrily.

"No you're not," I said and took the pillow from her. "I'll go sleep on the couch."

She crossed her arms against her chest with the sexiest pout on her lips.

"God, you're sexy when you're mad," I grinned.

"Yeah, well, I hope you get a bad case of the blue balls," she said. "How's _that_ for sexy?"

I laughed. "You'd be surprised."

"Just go, _prude_."

"I'll dream about you," I said and winked to her as left the room, catching the hint of a grin on her face just as I closed the door.

_God, I am such an idiot._


	14. The Accident

_A/N: Hello people! How is everyone? I'm sorry I'm taking a little long with the chapters, but I do have a lot going on and also – this one was kinda tough to write as well! Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read this story, that sort of became like a child to me! lol sorry it's a short chapter guys!  
_

_Aaaand, special thanks to __**Jerz**__, madcowre, cam_illa, antariangirl93, I'm Super Girl, MMA, BreatheTime, Sherry80, and chewycui! You're all super-awesome-wonderful-kickass-lovely-reviewers! I guess Edward did "cockblock" himself (pardon my language) and also "Pussyblocked" (courtesy of antarian girl lol) Bella at the same time ;) haha!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I do own two guitars :)_

* * *

**Chapter 14: The Accident.**

Edward's POV:

_Ten years ago, my old house in Forks._

"Edward, you're going to be late!" I heard my mother call from downstairs. I rolled my eyes as I tried to make my hair look like something other than a complete mess. I was unsuccessful.

"Coming, mom!" I yelled back and grabbed my backpack, hopping down the flight of stairs and heading for the kitchen.

My father was sitting by the table and reading the newspaper while my mother stacked pancakes right out of the pan on a plate for me.

"Good morning, baby," she smiled brightly as she saw me, and kissed my forehead before I sat down at the table, returning her good morning greeting.

"Good morning, Edward," my dad smiled and sipped his coffee.

"Morning, dad," I said as my mother put the plate and the maple syrup in front of me.

"You know I don't like it when you rush through breakfast to be on time for school," she said.

"Give the boy a break, Lizzie. He's never been late for anything, except his own birth," my father said.

"Oh, I do remember that," she laughed. "Thirty six hours and you refused to come out. Always so stubborn, just like your father," she smiled and sat down with us.

"Is it really necessary for me to hear this story for the millionth time?" I asked, remembering all the previous times my parents told that story to me, and everyone I knew. _All_ my friends got to hear how I got out 36 hours later with goo all over me and in my airways.

"_Yes_, so you'll understand what I went through to get you here," she smiled and ruffled my hair.

"Mom!" I whined. I hated it when she did that.

"Women are all about the guilt trips, son. You'll learn that," my dad winked, making me laugh.

"And speaking of your birthday, don't think we forgot," she enthused. "We're gonna go get you your present today."

"Really?" My eyes immediately shot up to my parents with hope.

My birthday was in two days, and my parents would usually go a day or so before to buy a birthday present for me, but I was grateful and overjoyed every time – never taking it for granted.

"Yes, your father has a day off from the clinic, so we're going to Port Angeles," she smiled excitedly.

"What are you getting me?" I asked curiously. I was always curious about anything, so it was definitely no exception when it concerned me, my birthday, and gifts.

"We don't want to ruin the surprise, honey, now do we?"

"Will you be here when I get back from school, then?" I asked.

"Of course we will."

"Now go get some straight A's," my dad said encouragingly.

"Gee, no pressure, right darling?" my mother said.

"Lizzie, my boy knows that good grades will get him a good profession in the future, and he'll be able to buy himself all the presents he wants. Right kid?"

I nodded immediately.

My dad had always said it was important to pay attention in class and study, because the way to get a good future is to be good now. And it wasn't only that he was right, but I also wanted to make him and my mom proud, so I listened. I kept my grades up, chewed with my mouth closed, and talked politely to adults.

"And also buy things for some special girl in the future," my mother added with a grin on her face.

"Eww, mom, girls are stupid," I said as I finished my last bite of the meal, causing them both to laugh.

"No pressure, right darling?" my dad raised his eyebrow at my mom.

She glanced at her watch and gasped. "Edward, you better leave now before you're late."

I got up and lifted my bag, when my dad handed me a 10 dollar bill. "Don't forget your lunch money," he smiled.

"Thanks," I said. "Love you mom, love you dad! Bye!" I yelled as I walked out and got on my bicycle to ride to school. I couldn't remember a time when I didn't tell them I loved them before I went out, even when I had friends over, and they'd laugh at me. I wanted them to know that I loved them; it was important.

***

I was riding back home on my bike, trying to hurry up so I could get home and get my present, when I noticed a big car accident on the road leading to our house. There were two cars involved, and a lot of smoke coming out of both. One of the cars' bumpers was smashed, and the other car ahead of it was destroyed beyond recognition.

Only I _did_ recognize it.

My heart pounded hard as I approached the scene, filled with police officers and paramedics, and could definitely tell whose car it was.

_No._

"Mom? Dad?" I called in panic, dropping the bike and my bag, and running towards the smoke.

A man I recognized as the chief of police, Charlie Swan held me back and wouldn't let me pass.

"Let me go!" I yelled.

"You can't go there; you shouldn't have to see this," he said, sadness and concern in his voice.

But I did.

I looked around, and I saw her laying there on the ground, in front of the crashed car. In a puddle of blood. My father was being extracted from the car, also lifeless.

_No, this can't be happening._

"Mom! Dad!" I screamed, and Chief Swan pulled me to his chest.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry," he mumbled.

I remember screaming their names, thinking maybe somehow that could get them to answer me, to live. But I grew tired, and everything just went black.

When I woke up, I was lying somewhere. Somewhere comfortable, perhaps a couch. But it wasn't anywhere in _my_ house.

_They're gone_, a realization popped into my head.

I didn't want to open my eyes. I hoped that maybe if I just kept them closed, then none of this happened. I didn't want to open them and see the cold truth – _they're gone_.

"Should I move him to the bedroom?" I heard a familiar voice ask. It wasn't my father's.

"No, I don't want to wake him up just yet. Poor thing. This seems so unreal! I don't understand… how could this have happened?" A female voice, laced with sadness and recent tears, cried out.

_Carlisle and Esme_, I thought. Was I at their home?

Carlisle and Esme were very good friends of my parents. Carlisle and my father went to med-school together, and then went separate ways professionally (one to surgery, and one to practicing in a clinic), but they never kept apart personally.

Until today.

"The other driver admitted to taking drugs, and drinking. He was driving a jeep, so he only suffered mild injuries, but… Elizabeth wasn't wearing a seatbelt, and… _god_," Carlisle said.

It stung to hear my mother's name, but otherwise, I felt completely… numb.

"I'm gonna miss them so much," Esme said sadly.

"So will I. But we have to be strong for Edward," he said.

I opened my eyes, and saw them embracing each other, Esme crying and nodding to Carlisle's words.

"Is it real?" I asked emotionlessly, not recognizing my own voice. "Are they really gone?"

"Oh, Edward!" She ran up to me and hugged me, crying in my arms. I looked up to Carlisle.

"Are they?" I asked again.

He just nodded.

They told me they wanted me to stay with them, that they wanted to adopt me. That I wouldn't have to spend a day in some orphanage home. I could barely bring myself to care about anything.

It turned out to me, that the other driver hadn't notice they stopped at a red light and crashed into them, ruining a family, a car, and a guitar in the back seat.

I didn't want to celebrate my birthday, even when Carlisle knocked on my room door and gave me their gift for me – a brand new classic guitar.

I didn't want to listen to the will my father wrote; it only angered me more that he could've anticipated something like that to happen. Carlisle and Esme told me that my parents ordered to sell their house and put the money in a trust fund for me, to be kept closed until I was 25.

Eventually, the other driver was sentenced and charged for manslaughter, and spent three years in.

That's the only way that accident affected his life.

Me? I was… gone. I lost all desire to spend time, or even talk to my friends, until the last one of them gave up on me. I couldn't, for a long time, bring myself to really care about anything – and even though I did care for Carlisle, Esme, and my new brother Emmett – I could never tell them.

Instead of a personal life, I only focused on school and my grades, remembering my father's words. I had closed myself entirely to the outside world.

Until Bella.

I didn't even know why I had protected her from those mean girls; it was something about her that made me want her to smile when she looked like she was going to cry. She somehow seemed as uninterested in the spotlight as I was, although she ended up being a lot more caring towards others than I ever was.

When I got to know her, I had no choice but letting my guard down and letting her in; I didn't even see it coming or feel it happen. She just knocked over the walls and camped in. And I _liked_ her there.

I _wanted_ to know her, to talk to her, to spend time with her and care about her – and it gave me hope that maybe I wasn't completely lost forever.

I found that the more I opened up to Bella, the more I opened up to my family, and let them make me a part of the family like they had wanted. I let them become my mom, dad, brother.

When that day of the year came along, Bella skipped school with me and kept me company. She showed me she cared in so many ways, this being only one of them. She was my best friend, and the best thing that had ever happened to me – and I could say that in earnest.

Because without Bella, I wouldn't be me.

* * *

_Today, the old, unstable elevator of our building, Seattle._

As soon as the doors closed, I put both my hands on each side of her on the elevator wall to trap her there. She crossed her arms against her chest and glared at me.

"Bells," I said.

"No," she immediately shot me down.

"Please?" I tried.

"No, you didn't want me in Forks, you're not getting any in Seattle," she said. "Will you move?"

She was still mad. Of course.

I was an idiot to say _no_ to having sex with Bella Swan. Even though the thought about the other Swan finding out terrified me half to death. I was an idiot.

Not only did I hurt her feelings, I left myself high and dry, horny as hell and unable to stop thinking about her perfect, smooth body on top of mine and me refusing her. What the hell was I thinking?

I tried making amends with her during the ride home, telling her how much I want her; that it physically _hurts_ not to take her right there - but she pretty much gave me the silent treatment. All she said was 'Pass me the water bottle, Mr. Abstinence', or 'We're stopping for gas, Virtue Boy'.

"No. Come on, Bella. You haven't spoken to me all the way from Forks. I think that's punishment enough," I argued.

"I disagree," she said through clenched teeth.

"Bells," I whispered, moving forward to press myself against her.

I could feel her resistance slowly melt away, she was starting to give in, I was regaining my chances of getting some, and then…

The elevator doors opened.

"We're home, oh Lord of Decency," she said.

"Okay, that one wasn't even funny," I said and stepped aside, allowing her to leave the elevator. I grabbed our bags and got into our apartment after her.

"You don't really think that insulting my sense of humor is the way to get on my good side, do you?" She took off her jacket and turned to me.

"How about instead of making up nicknames for me, you let me get in the shower with you and worship that magnificent body of yours, love?" I said and without warning, pulled her body tightly to mine by the small of her back. I let my lips hover over her face, trying to draw her to me. I could actually see her faltering for a moment.

"Edward," she finally said, distancing herself from me. "I might, _might_ stop being mean to you sometime soon, but you are not getting anywhere near this magnificent body of mine _anytime_ soon."

I was instantly reminded of her rules, and what she said before we slept together in Forks – _we're not at home right now_. _Is this the reason she's rejecting me now? Why she insisted so much on having sex last night?_ Another memory came to mind in the form of her voice.

_What happened last night was a slip up. Yes, I would probably let you fuck me senseless if you were going away tomorrow, but since you're actually moving in, I think we should go back to being just friends_.

No sex till we figure 'us' out.

Only I thought we _had_ figured us out during our time in Forks. Hell, we even talked about the future, about having kids together. I almost told her that I'd have all that right now if only I had the finances to actually raise kids.

Without thinking, I just blurted it out. I needed to know the truth.

"Us sleeping together in your room… was that just another slip to you?" I asked.

"What?" She shook her head in confusion.

"When we were in Forks, you wanted me. Now you're not letting me near you again. Was that just a mistake to you?"

She didn't say anything for the longest period of time, and the look on her face made me want to take my words back so badly.

"I can't. _Believe._ You would even ask me that!" She yelled, looking positively furious.

"I'm sorry, Bells," I started pacing across the living room. "But last night you were sitting on top of me, and now that we're home you're not letting me near you."

"So you're wondering why I'm not throwing myself at you, now that you _do_ want me. Is that it?" she fumed.

"No," I ran a frustrated hand through my hair. "That is not what I meant. And I did want you – you know exactly why I didn't want to have sex, and yet you're still rejecting me."

She snorted. "Oh, _I'm_ rejecting _you_?"

I stopped in front of her, trying to think how I had gotten myself into this argument and why the hell I had to be such a jerk.

"I'm rejecting you?" she repeated, striding towards me. "You're the one who has rejected me over and over – you would disappear for days at a time and only come back when you wanted sex, and when I told you that I wanted more, you said you couldn't give me that. I don't understand, Edward. If you care about me like you say you do, then why don't you want to be with me?"

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to calm herself. I could see how upset she was, how desperately she needed an answer, but I couldn't give it to her. How could I tell her that I was just not good enough for her?

So I didn't say anything. I just looked at her, and prayed she would somehow understand and give me some more time.

"You know what?" She said quietly. "It was probably for the best that we didn't…" She finished the sentence with just the shake of her head. "It would've been a mistake, 'cause it would've hurt a hell of a lot more if you rejected me after we did it, rather than before."

_Damn._

Now I realized why she'd taken this so hard; the thought of me rejecting her hit a sensitive spot with Bella.

_But god, how could she think that I'm only using her for sex?_

She went over to the front door and grabbed her bag, which was still packed with clean clothes.

"Bella," I said.

"What?" She turned around and asked.

I sighed. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to work, and I'll be spending the night at Alice's," she said, keeping her eyes away from me.

I wanted to ask her to stay, to beg even, but she was already out the door.

"Fuck," I said out loud as the door closed, and hit the wall with my fist forcefully.

That was it. She was done with me and my crap. And now I was going to lose her.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why am I such an idiot?_

* * *

Bella's POV:

"Fuck, Alice. You should've heard what he said to me," I said angrily, walking back and forth in front of Alice.

I had told her everything that happened today, and the previous day. I was bitching and complaining about my fight with Edward and about Jacob – who, luckily for him, wasn't working today – blabbing about me to his dad, and she was just sitting on her couch and listening patiently.

_Man_, I loved that girl.

"I mean, here I was, thinking that things are finally moving forward with us, and then – not only does he totally shoot me down – he tells me that I'm the one who regrets sleeping with him. God!" I plumped down on the couch next to Alice.

"And then I said the most awful thing to him before I left," I shook my head, trying to fight the tears that were welling behind my eyes – unsuccessfully. I was such a girl.

"I said that if we _had_ done it, it would've been a mistake."

"Aww, honey," she said and put her arm around me. "You want me to break out the ice cream?"

"No," I sniffled. "I just want you to tell me what to do. Things are so messed up."

"You want to know what I really think?" she asked.

"Mm hmm," I nodded, wiping my tears.

"I think you should go home tomorrow after work and apologize; tell him you didn't mean it. I'm sure he regrets saying those things to you, too. And I think you should give him some time to deal with whatever it is that's preventing him from committing, because pressuring him won't do any good."

"You're right," I said. "I need to go home and make it right. God, I was such a bitch, and it's his birthday tomorrow."

"Oh my," she said. "Well then, maybe you should prepare a birthday dinner for him. And maybe a present, too."

"I really messed up, didn't I?" I asked.

"Now, now. You were both equally stupid," she said, patting my shoulder. I lifted my face and gave her a stern scowl.

"I'll go get the ice cream," she laughed.


	15. The Birthday Present

_A/N: Hey guys, I'm really sorry that it took so much time to get this chapter out! Not that I think you all just wait in anticipation for it, but you know what I mean lol. I just started university, and it's been a crazy couple of weeks, but finally I managed to get this chapter out, and I hope the next will be a bit quicker :). _

_Anyways, I want to thank everyone who read and everyone who reviewed my story! I love all you guys, and I live for your comments once I get a chapter out! Love them! Thanks to __**Jerz babe**__, scarletteyedvamp, angel-cordy, cam_illa, puasluoma, antariangirl93, chewycui, iwannabe, xoxbellesxox, sherry80, and kittcattpattinson!_

_Ooh, and woohoo! 100+ reviews baby! :D_

_Love you guys and hope everyone enjoy this chapter!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, and too damn bad I don't!_

* * *

**Chapter 15: The Birthday Present.**

Bella's POV:

_6 years ago, Forks High parking lot, inside my truck._

I stared at the notebook down in my lap, trying to revise the material one more time, in quiet, before I have to go inside and dread this calculus exam until third period.

I was really getting into it, which is probably why I gasped and jumped in panic when I heard three loud knocks on my car window that snapped me back to reality.

"Jesus! Fuck, Edward," I let out a sharp breath of air and glared at Edward, while rolling my window down. "That was the third time you've scared me, and I don't even know you that long."

I had actually only known (and worshiped) Edward for less than a month, and he already managed to scare me on two _other_ occasions, one of which made him laugh so hard he nearly fell off a chair.

"It's not my fault that you're so jumpy. Did you think I was a serial killer?" He looked at me with a wide smirk on his face. I could tell he was trying to hold back laughter.

"I'm glad this is amusing to you," I took the notebook and my pack and got out of the truck, starting to walk towards the school alongside Edward.

"I was just trying to get your attention," he shrugged.

"Yeah, and scaring me shitless in the process," I rolled my eyes.

"Just an added bonus," he laughed. I smacked him playfully on his arm, but laughed as well. I had to admit that it was pretty funny – I was just too stressed about that exam to find anything amusing.

But, I couldn't, for the life of me, stay mad at Edward. _Especially_ not on his birthday.

In what little time since I'd met Edward, we'd grown surprisingly close to each other. We spent almost all our time together – at school and outside of it – sometime I wasn't used to, even with my friends back in Phoenix. We just seemed to find in each other what we didn't even know we were looking for – a great friend (although, I found a little more in Edward than I probably should have).

Two days ago was the anniversary to his parents' death, and although he said he wanted to be alone, it seemed like he could use the company. So I skipped school with him, and didn't ask too many questions. I could sense that he wasn't comfortable talking about it, so I tried my best to distract him. At some point, though, I guess he decided he could talk to me, because he told me about how they were killed in a car accident just two days before his 12th birthday.

But I made up my mind to make sure he was happy on his birthday, no matter what, which is why I was going to sneak a birthday gift into his locker today.

He was already smiling – which was a step in the right direction – the most dazzling smile I had ever seen on a person, a smile that had literally knocked me off my feet quite a few times by now (though it didn't help that I was already a perfect klutz).

"So, how panicked are you, on a scale of one to ten?" Edward asked.

My brows furrowed in confusion for a moment; I was too unfocused to realize what he meant.

"The Calculus test?" he gestured towards my notebook and chuckled.

"Oh. Right. Just… ugh. I hate Calculus. I despise it. If it were possible, I would torture it and let it die a slow death," I grunted.

"Well aren't we a bit psychopathic?" he laughed again as we walked into the school.

As usual, most eyes were on us, and not in the good sense of it. The girls in this school did not like the fact that I had befriended the most gorgeous guy in school whom, until now, they thought was just not interested in anyone. I don't know what the guys' problem was, but they didn't seem to like the combination of me and Edward either.

"It may be the only way to survive through Forks High," I muttered as we made our way to our lockers.

"I could help you before the test, you know. After Second period or something," he said and opened his locker.

I looked carefully as he did so, memorizing his locker combination for later.

"You'd do that?" I asked. It wasn't the first time he had helped me study for Calculus, but his kindness surprised me nonetheless. It was nice refreshment from the attitude of the other students towards me, here.

"Of course," he said like it was obvious.

"Well… thanks," I blushed copiously under his stare.

"No problem," he gave me this amazingly sexy smirk. "Mr. Jennings lets us off a couple minutes earlier, so I'll be outside your classroom when you're done."

"See you then," I nodded, swallowing hard.

_If this is going to go on like this, I'll be… I have no idea what I'll be. Screwed, most probably, _I thought as I looked at him walk away to his class.

***

When I walked out of the classroom I caught sight of Edward, leaning against the hallway wall, and looking positively pissed off. He ran his hand through his messy hair so roughly that I thought he was going to pull it off.

I approached him with caution, suddenly noticing the wrapped present in his hand – the one that I'd managed to sneak into his locker after asking the teacher to go to the bathroom.

"Hey," I said as I stood in front of him.

"Bella," he said warily. "What is this?"

I crossed my hands against my chest and smirked. "Uh, in the land of the normal people, we like to call it a present."

"I know it's a present. I also know that I specifically asked you not to get me anything," he answered curtly.

"Yeah, but I thought it was stupid, so I got you a little something anyway. It's not a big deal," I shrugged.

He did ask me not to get him anything, but I didn't think he was serious.

"Yes, it is. I don't want any presents," he said in a harsh tone.

"Seriously, what kind of person doesn't like getting presents?" I argued. It just seemed so ridiculous to make a big deal out of such a little thing as a gift.

"I don't. Just take it back."

"No, it's yours," I said, biting back my insult. "Look, I won't get you anything next time, just… keep this one."

I couldn't understand why he would do this. Even if he didn't want me to spend money on him, I obviously _wanted_ to, couldn't he see that?

"No," was all he said. He handed me the gift back and just walked away.

"Edward," I called after him, but didn't attempt to follow. He wouldn't even stop or turn around.

He didn't even open it, to see what I had gotten for him.

***

I lied on my bed that evening and wallowed in how sucky this past day was, fighting with Edward on his birthday and probably failing my Calculus test. I looked at the clock and sighed.

Was eight thirty too late to call Edward's house?

_No, I'm not calling him. He obviously doesn't want to talk to me – otherwise wouldn't he call me?_

_Maybe I should call him anyway? Esme won't be mad… and it is his birthday._

"Ugh," I groaned and buried my head in the pillow.

_God, I'm pathetic._

"Bella!" I heard Charlie yell from downstairs.

"What, Dad?" I called back.

"Can you come down here a minute?"

"What for?" I inquired, not feeling like going anywhere but dreamland.

"You have a visitor," he said.

"Edward," I gasped to myself and tried to jump up from the bed, managing to fall from the bed to the floor with a loud thud in the process.

I got up and fixed my hair a little, and then went downstairs _carefully_, rubbing the hurt spot on my back.

"Hey," Edward said as I reached downstairs and walked to the door.

He was wearing a long sleeved t-shirt with another short sleeved t-shirt over it, and black jeans. He looked flushed and short on breath, like he actually hurried over.

"Hi," I said back more seriously than I wished. I wanted to be nice to him on his birthday, especially because he actually came to my house, but it was difficult to get over the bad mood from this day.

"You can stay until ten thirty, Edward," Charlie said with a nod.

"Thank you, Chief Swan," he answered politely.

"You call me Charlie, alright?" my dad smiled to him. _Traitor_.

"Okay. Thanks, Charlie," he smiled back, efficiently making my heart miss a beat or two.

"No problem. I'll leave you kids to it."

"Actually, do you mind if Bella and I sit out on the porch? The weather is nice," Edward asked.

"Well, sure," Charlie said and patted Edward's shoulder before heading into the kitchen and leaving us alone.

"Come on," Edward said and I followed him outside and around the house to the small yard.

"So…" I said awkwardly, my hands crossed against my chest. "What's up?"

"Umm, let's sit down," he said, pointing at the wooden bench. We sat down on it and I waited for him to start talking, because he looked like he had something to say.

He took a deep breath before he started.

"When my parents got into the… accident, they were on their way to buy me a birthday present. They made a big deal out of it, because _I_ made a big deal out of it. If I didn't…" he shook his head, trying to find words to continue.

I saw where this was going, and it was a bad place.

"Edward, don't," I said pleadingly. I didn't want him to blame himself for that, it wasn't right.

"They were on that road because of me," he said.

"No, it's not you're fault," I objected, but he wouldn't look at me. His gaze was fixed somewhere in the distance.

"Yes, it is. They're dead because of _me_, because I wanted some big present every year, it's _my_ fault," his voice broke, and he leaned his forehead on the palm of his hand, resting his elbow on his thigh.

Hearing his voice break like that for the first time, and seeing him looking so lost broke my heart. It killed me that he blamed himself, but I guessed that's just the kind of person Edward was.

"No," I said, removing his hand from his forehead in order to force him to stop it and look at me. His eyes scared me, intense as they were, and I could see that he was fighting back tears. He didn't want to cry in front of me. I kept his my hands on his arm, boldly caressing up and down his wrist with light fingers. It seemed to make his body relax next to me.

"Please don't blame yourself," I said with a sigh. "Edward, you couldn't have known this would happen. It wasn't your fault that driver was wasted. God, Edward, you were _twelve_."

I watched him nod slowly, and I watched the crease between his eyes as he considered things. "I'm sorry for being such a jerk today, Bells," he finally said and smiled weakly.

"No, I understand," I nodded. "_I'm_ sorry for telling you it was stupid. I should've just let it go."

"You didn't know. Besides, you were just trying to do something nice for me, and I didn't even tell you how I… that I…," he battled with his words, and instead of finishing the sentence, he just placed the fingers of his free hand on my hand.

"You appreciate it," I finished it for him. His smile widened, flashing the straight line of his teeth, and he nodded. "Thanks. I'm glad you rode your girly bike here," I said, lightening the mood.

"Hey, just because their purple, it doesn't make them girly," he retorted, faking insult.

"Just because you put a Power Rangers sticker on them, it doesn't make them manly," I replied.

"Hey, that was years ago, and Power Rangers rock, okay?" he said, making me laugh whole-heartedly.

"So, can I have my present now?" he asked.

"It's okay, Edward. You don't have to do that," I said. I didn't want him to take it just so I wouldn't feel bad about it.

"No, I want to see what you got for me, really," he said, his face sincere.

"Well, alright. But like I told you, it's not a big deal, it's just something… symbolic."

"Didn't anyone ever teach you that it's the thought that counts?"

"I was taught that it's something you say to make someone feel better for getting you a crappy present," I said, making Edward chuckle. "I'll go upstairs and get it."

I ran upstairs, making my dad wrinkle his forehead at the sight of me, and opened my desk drawer. Earlier today, the thought of throwing away the present crossed my mind, but I was glad I didn't, now.

I grabbed the wrapped classical music CD I got for him, and ran back downstairs to my best friend.

* * *

_Today, between two book shelves in a rather full Seattle bookstore._

I put down the pile of books I'd collected from the tables in the store (for people who want to sit down and read) on the floor and sat down on my knees next to it.

I sighed and gazed at my watch.

_Two hours. Two hours, and I can go home and cook the best birthday dinner ever made for Edward_, I thought while I put the books on the lower shelves.

"Bella," Rosalie, my boss, called as she approached where I was sitting.

She was wearing a pencil skirt and a white blouse, and her hair was up in a bun. She always managed to look so poised and professional, probably so that the corporate men (who were a bunch of chauvinistic pigs) would take her seriously, since she worked closely with them when she wasn't at the store.

"Yeah," I said and got up to see what she wanted.

"I'm really sorry, but I need you to cover for Jacob," she said.

_Again, covering for Jake. Amazing, how he manages to annoy me without even being here._

"Umm, okay, when? Tomorrow?" I asked.

"Today."

"Today?" I asked, wide eyed. She simply nodded. "Well, can't anyone else do it? I mean, I have something I really need to do, and –"

"Is it an emergency?" she asked.

"Sort of," I said, and it crossed my mind that I really don't know what the damage of yesterday was.

"Sort of is not an emergency. Look, Alice is already working a double shift today, and Leah can't come in because she's in New York, so that leaves you."

I sighed deeply, irritated with Jake's timing. Usually I wouldn't mind the extra money, but he really picked a bad time to be going MIA.

"You won't have to stay the whole shift, okay? Just be here for the next six hours or so." She looked as if she really did feel bad about it, and I didn't want to give her a hard time, even if it did mean being home after Edward.

"Well… okay. I'll stay an extra four hours, then," I said.

"Thank you, Bella. This won't go unrewarded," she winked at me and walked away and back into her office.

"Stupid Jacob," I muttered to myself.

I would just have to pick up groceries on my way home and cook with Edward in the apartment – if he even forgives me, that is.

***

"Is it seven yet?" I whined to Alice, who was behind the counter.

"Bella, that question really starts to get old after a few times," she gave me a patient, understanding look, despite her words.

"No it doesn't. It makes time fly by faster until seven o'clock," I said in a childish, mopey voice and pouted. "Tell me something. Ooh, tell me about 10 out of 10 bartender guy," I said. I knew his name was Jasper, it was just such a great nickname for the southern gentleman.

"I thought you'd never ask," she beamed. "Oh, Bella. I think I'm in love. No, I know I'm in love. Yes, definitely _know_."

"Wow. That's… amazing, Alice! I mean, isn't it a little fast, though?"

"Well, not everyone takes six years to get together and declare their love for each other," she raised an eyebrow with a smile.

I snorted. "Please. I don't even know that Edward still wants to be my roommate, so let's not hope for declarations of love, okay?"

"Oh, it'll happen, Bells. Trust me," Alice said smugly. I hated that all-knowing look on her face. It made me fucking _hope_.

"So you are happy with him," I stated.

"Very happy."

"I see I'm going to have to have a little best friend to boyfriend conversation, huh?"

"Actually, I've already warned him that if he ever hurts me, he'll have to meet the wrath that is Bella Swan, future author," she giggled.

"True. I will write him in a story and make him suffer," I said, and laughed at my own serious tone.

The little bell at the door chimed, signaling someone coming in. We both looked at the door as Spanish Guy walked in, wearing a nice white button down and black slacks, and nodded his head our way in recognition.

Alice and I exchanged looks as he started browsing around, sneaking glances our way.

I decided to go see if he needed any help, as any good sales woman would do. Actually, I was just curious about him. He kept looking at us, so someone needed to make sure he wasn't a creepy stalker or anything.

"Be right back," I told Alice.

I found him between two book shelves, skimming some book about the civil war.

"Hi, can I help you with anything?" I asked politely. He put the book back on the shelf and turned to me with a smile.

"Actually, yes," he said in his thick accent. "I was wondering if a beautiful woman such as you would join someone like me for dinner sometime."

_Wow. Straight forward._

I raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps a woman _such as me_ would, but I… I can't. I'm sorry," I said with an apologetic smile.

"Do you not eat dinner? We can have lunch instead," he suggested jokingly, leaning somewhat towards me.

I laughed softly. "No, I – I eat dinner, I just eat my dinners with someone."

"Ah, so you have a boyfriend," he said, dropping his head in disappointment. I could never really see what guys ever saw in me that made them want to ask me out. I was just… ordinary.

"Well, it's complicated, but it wouldn't feel right to go out with anyone else," I answered truthfully. I didn't know what it was about him, but he made me feel relaxed, like he was trustworthy. I could very easily see someone like him as my friend.

And if I wasn't completely and irrevocably in love with Edward, I would definitely comply with his offer. He was a very attractive guy; strong jaw, dark eyes, dark hair, tan skin, full lips, and a toned body, as far as I could tell through his clothes. But once you have someone so embedded in your heart, you can't even think of another in that way.

"There is a man in your life," he stated, and I nodded in confirmation. "Well, this man is very lucky to have you. Maybe someone should tell him that if he doesn't realize it soon, someone else is going to snatch you," he winked at me, with a grin on his face.

"I don't think that's possible, but thank you," I laughed, feeling the strong blush heating the skin of my cheeks.

"Well, I'll be here again, in case you change your mind. I like this book store," he said as he walked away, until he was out of my sight.

I laughed and shook my head. _Men can be so weird sometimes. Now, is it seven yet?_

***

Come seven, I said goodbye to Alice and practically ran out of the store and hurried to get to my apartment. I even gave up on getting groceries – I'd just have to make do with whatever was in the apartment – because I just couldn't wait another minute to see Edward.

I tapped my foot nervously in the elevator, waiting for the slowest elevator ride of my life to finally come to an end, and I could see him, hold him, and kiss him. I couldn't believe how much I had missed Edward, probably more so than when he'd disappear for days at a time.

When the elevator finally reached its destination, I sprinted out of it and fumbled with the keys to find the right one. I popped it into the key hole, shaking nervously from anticipation, and finally managed to turn the key in the lock and open the door.

"Edward?" I called, closing the door behind me and taking off my bag and my shoes in a hurry.

The house was unusually quiet; I couldn't hear any other presence in it.

_Maybe he's asleep?_

I walked up to his bedroom door and knocked softly on it, and it opened slightly when I did. I opened it all the way to find an empty room. No one in there.

I checked every corner of our not-so-big-apartment, and he was nowhere to be found.

_Okay. Don't panic. He's probably just… out somewhere. Emmett's or something._

I picked up the home phone, dialed Edward's cell phone number, and waited. After about two rings, I heard Edward's ringtone coming from somewhere in the house. I followed the sound to Edward's bedroom, and found his phone on the nightstand.

I sighed and hung up.

_Why would he just go without taking his cell phone? Oh god._

I sat down on his bed, trying to calm myself that nothing had happened to Edward, and to think what I should do.

I picked up Edward's cell phone from the nightstand and searched his contacts for Emmett.

I started pacing while waiting for him to pick up.

"Hey bro."

"Hey, Emmett, it's – it's Bella," I said nervously.

"Hey sis, in that case! What's up, little Bella?" he asked. That was, unfortunately, Emmett's nickname for me since high school – just because it used to piss me off.

"Is Edward with you?" I asked point blank.

"No," he said. "Should he be?"

"I- I don't know," I ran a shaky hand through my hair. I was genuinely worried about him now. _Where the hell could he be?_

"Bella, why are you calling me from Edward's phone and asking me where he is? What's going on?" Now Emmett sounded worried.

"I don't know. I came home from work, and he wasn't here, and his cell phone was in his room, and –"

"_His_ room? What do you mean?"

I wrinkled my forehead in confusion. "He didn't tell you that we're roommates now?"

"Roommates? Edward's living with you? What about his apartment?" He asked.

"He didn't tell you about the flood?" I shook my head.

"_What_ flood? Damn that stupid idiot," he said.

"I don't understand how he didn't tell you about that."

He sighed. "I was away visiting my parents, he probably didn't want to worry any of us."

"Oh. Umm, do you know where he could be?" I went back to the reason I called.

"Let me think… oh, you can try Jasper's phone," he said. "He's probably with him."

"Alright, thank you, I will. And, if you hear from him, please tell him to come home and call me straight away, okay?" I asked.

"Sure thing, Bells," he said. "It was cool hearing from you, we should all hang out sometime. Once you find my idiot brother, that is."

I half-chuckled, which was the best I could do at the moment. "Yeah, okay. Bye, Em."

"Bye," he said.

I tried Jasper's next. He was at the club, and although he _did _know about us living together, he hadn't heard anything from Edward tonight.

_Oh god, oh god, oh god. What the hell am I going to do?_

I called Alice from the home phone, hoping she'd be available to talk at work, and waited for her to pick up. My pacing, in the meantime, had become quicker and quicker.

I kept running worst case scenarios in my head, and it scared me out of my mind.

Ring_. What if someone did something to Edward?_

Ring_. Okay, stop thinking about stuff like that._

Ring_. Fuck. Please, let him be okay._

"Bells," she answered, sounding relieved.

"Alice, thank god. I can't find Edward. He wasn't here, and he didn't take his cell phone with him, and I have no idea where he could be," I said, trying to hold back worried sobs.

"Bella, calm down. He was just here," she said.

"What?" I breathed, finally able to.

"Yeah, he came here because you wouldn't answer your cell and he didn't know where you were," she said warily.

"My cell?" I asked. I suddenly realized that I hadn't checked my phone, which was in my bag on silent mode, since this morning. "Oh god. What did you tell him?"

"Well, he was worried sick about you. I told him you were covering for Jacob and then went home. He just left here."

"Thank god he's okay," I whispered.

She chuckled, "You know, that's exactly what _he_ said when I told him you were home."

I smiled. "Thanks, Alice."

"Don't mention it, hun," she said. "I'm just doing my job, restoring the worldly order."

It took about fifteen minutes of waiting impatiently for Edward to return, and finally I heard his key turn in the lock.

I was already standing in the hallway next to the door, and the moment Edward opened the door, I rushed to him and threw my arms around him.

"Edward!" I cried, tears of relief finally escaping my eyes.

"Bells," he said, holding me tightly in his arms after closing the door behind us.

"I was so scared that something bad may have happened to you," I clung to him, not willing to let go.

"So was I," he sighed into my hair. "But we're both fine. Everything's okay," he said in a smooth, calming voice.

I let him go, only to be able to look at his face. I held it between my hands, gazing up at him with relief. His expression mimicked my own.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"No, Bells," he shook his head and tucked stray hair behind my ears with both his hands. "I'm the one who's sorry."

"No, I shouldn't have said those awful things. And you should know that I would never consider anything that happened between us a mistake," I said truthfully.

Even that kiss back at Christmas wasn't a mistake, I realized. It may have been bad timing, it may have hurt Jake, but for the life of me, I couldn't find it in me to think it was a mistake.

"Bella," he said, and kissed me in earnest, his lips brushing against mine with intensity as he held me close. When he broke from the kiss, he lifted his head slightly to kiss my closed eyelid, and then my forehead. "You should know something."

* * *

_A/N: Sorry for ending it there, guys, it was getting long ;) hehe but next chapter will pick up right after he says it! And for anyone who's wondering what the hell they were both so worried about, just keep in mind that when you love someone that much, you tend to worry over the smallest things :)_


	16. The Second Taste

_A/N: Thank you sooo much for being patient, I know it wasn't exactly fast… I just have a ton of stuff to do for school now, but I try! Next one will be faster, promise! And now onto other news… _

_**Robert Pattinson talked about this fanfic on the David Letterman show! He said "Candy. Candy is always the key word." Really, he did.**_

_Well, it's possible that he was talking about something else :P but still, he did say the word Candy of all words, and I take it for a sign that this fanfic has strong purpose in this world lol._

_**Shout out**__ to all my lovely peeps! Especially to: __**Jerz babe**__! Angel-cordy, chewycui, Twiguy04 – nice to know guys like this story as well lol, Sherry80, I'm Super Girl, Puasluoma, Bloftus, Antariangirl93, cam_illa, iwannabe, littlesunshinebee, and nica25! Love you all, and glad to hear you enjoyed the chapter :D I know I'm evil, btw, hahah... and Spanish guy will make another appearance indeed :)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the Twilight characters (but I do own Spanish Guy :D)_

* * *

**Chapter 16: The Second Taste.**

_About six months ago, Seattle:_

Bella's POV:

"I got us tons of margarita mix, and Heidi got some wine – God knows why, as if we don't have enough booze. She just said, 'when wine comes in, secrets come out'," I was walking home from work, while listening to Alice's ramblings on about the girl's night she'd been planning for days.

I had no intention of participating, of course, especially after the hangover I couldn't forget from the last _girl's night_, which should actually been named 'getting hammered and drunk dialing night'.

"Alice, you know I'm not into the whole… girl bonding thing," I sighed into the phone.

"What are you talking about? You and I have more girl talks than the Gilmore Girls," she retorted.

"Well, yeah, when it's just you and me. _You_ I love," I said, almost tripping on the pavement. "Damn shoes," I muttered.

"You were wearing heels to work?" she asked incredulously.

"Of course not, I'm wearing Converse," I answered.

"Then don't blame the shoes on your poor balance, sweetie," she laughed.

I scolded. "_As I was saying_, those girls are really not my type of people."

"Come on Bells, you have to come! The girls said really good things about you, and they love you, and they really want you to come tonight, and do you really have something better to do?"

I froze in my place at the sight before me.

A sight of familiar ruffled reddish brown hair, of the most beautiful face I've ever known, of _home_.

_Edward._

I didn't know whether to run and hide or jump him with a hug. I could hear Alice's voice coming from the phone, asking me if I'm there or something like that. I hung up; I couldn't care about that right now.

All I did care about was the boy who definitely spotted me too by now, and was walking towards me. I stayed put, unable to move and hearing my pulse loud in my ears.

I guess he didn't know how to greet me either, because he just stood in front of me and said, "Bella."

I couldn't shake out of the shock just yet. Suddenly this person, who I hadn't seen for almost two years, who was the best friend and the unrequited love for the longest time, was standing in front of me.

And the way I felt with him standing there made it obvious to me that, despite what I'd liked to think, I had never gotten over him.

"Bella?" he said again, a crease of concern appearing between his eyebrows.

"Edward," I sighed out with excitement and bit my lip as if to take back the desperation in my voice.

"Wow, you've, uh… wow," he said and laughed awkwardly.

_What was he going to say? That I've changed? For good or bad?_

_Oh my god. I can't believe he's seeing me like this, I look terrible._

Of all the times I've pictured this moment, a torn t-shirt and jeans and the stuffiest coat I have was not the outfit I had imagined myself to wear. Then again, I don't know why I imagined it to be some kind of a hot red dress and dangerously high fuck me shoes, especially since I've never worn anything like that, or _owned_ anything like that, in fact.

Of course, after freaking out for a moment about how _I_ looked, I started freaking out about how _he_ looked. Un-fucking-believably gorgeous.

"You've grown," I blurted out without thinking, just staring at his muscular figure inside his tight sweater. The features of his face became more masculine, more defined. Even his hair looked better. Could he have gotten taller?

_I sound like an idiot. God, please make me a little more graceful, if only for this particular moment. Please_.

"That's exactly what I was going to say," he grinned, looking down and running a hand through the mass of his hair.

_He thinks I've grown?_ I blushed terribly.

"How've you been?" I asked. I wanted to know everything, but it felt like there wasn't enough time, like this meeting of chance is going to be over in a minute and I would never get to see him again.

"Umm… okay, I guess," he said. _His eyes look tired_, I thought. "You?"

_Awful_.

"I'm good," I said, nodding.

"So…" he said, his hands in his pockets.

_Don't say goodbye, don't say goodbye_.

"Do you want to come over for some coffee? Catch up? I live right there," I pointed towards my apartment building, which was in sight.

"Yeah," he said almost immediately.

"Good," I said, relieved.

We started walking in silence towards my building, keeping a safe distance from each other.

I wanted to say something, but I couldn't find the words. I just kept thinking about everything we've been through, and everything he made me feel – still makes me feel. Did I really want to get into this again? Was I ever really _out_ of this thing? And most importantly – how come after everything he'd put me through, I can't find it in me to be angry with him?

We walked into the elevator, still silent and standing in two opposite corners of the little square tension box.

_God, he looks amazing. Why does he have to look so fucking good and be so fucking out of reach_?

He raised his gaze to look at me, and I ducked down mine, realizing I was staring at him. I still saw him smirk.

We walked in, and I thanked heavens that I decided to tidy up my place this morning. I gladly discarded my overly large coat and put it on the rack.

"Nice place," Edward said, breaking the silence.

"Please," I snorted. "It's almost as tiny as the elevator we just came out of." He chuckled softly.

"So, do you want some?" I asked. He cocked an eyebrow at me. "_Coffee_, that is?" I coughed. "Do you want some coffee?"

"Sure," he laughed again, taking a seat at the kitchen table as I filled the pot with water to boil.

"How's Carlisle and Esme?" I asked, trying to fill the silence with small talk.

"They're good. They live in California now, actually," he said.

"Well, I'm not surprised. Esme always preferred the sun," I remarked.

"Yeah, she did," he said.

I looked behind my shoulder at the once again quiet guy sitting at the table. He seemed pensive, but he kept his eyes on me all the time.

I turned back around, finishing making the coffee.

_Is he still looking at me?_

I glanced back again quickly and then stared forward again when I met his eyes again.

_Oh god, he's still looking at me._

I cleared my throat. "And Emmett? How's Emmett?"

"Emmett's good too, he just moved in with his girlfriend," he said.

"Really? Emmett going out with just one girl?" I laughed as I brought the coffee mugs to the table and sat down in front of him. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"None of us did," he shook his head.

_And again… silence_. I tapped my fingers on the table nervously.

"So, umm, Charlie and Renee?" he asked.

"Charlie's… still the same old Charlie. I couldn't really say about Renee. We sort of had a… falling out, a while ago," I said, sipping my coffee. That was not exactly what I wanted to talk about. "So are you finished with school?"

"I quit school," he said, stirring his coffee but not drinking it. He was just staring at me in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. "Are you still writing? Stories and such?"

"Not so much, no… writer's block," I sighed, and stared into the hot mug between my hands.

"Oh," he said, taking his eyes off me for a thoughtful moment, only to return them a moment later. I drank the rest of my coffee in that awkward silence, and he never touched his drink.

"You haven't touched your coffee," I said, smiling in an attempt to break the tension.

"Yeah, sorry. I guess I don't really feel like drinking coffee after all," he shrugged. "But thank you."

I nodded and got up, picking up both our mugs.

_This was stupid, I thought. He doesn't even want to be here, _that's_ why this feels awkward. I should just ask him to leave. _I sighed as I put both our mugs in the sink.

Then I turned around, and gasped. I didn't even hear him get up, but here was Edward, standing right in my face, his green eyes piercing.

I didn't have time to consider his intentions; he made it very clear when he put his hands on me and pulled me to him roughly for a kiss.

The moment my lips met his, I lost it.

It was like nothing mattered right now, not even if he had a girlfriend – a question I'd failed to ask despite how much it was burning in me. It occurred to me that he never asked if I was taken either, and I don't think he cared.

This was just a long time coming.

I fucking melted into his arms, letting the dizziness caused by his amazing scent take over me. It was even better than last time, so fucking much better than the last time we kissed – our first kiss.

His tongue wasn't hesitant at all; it was relentless against mine, and his hands were moving up the sides of my body and onto my back, pulling me tighter to him. I let my own hands explore every piece of skin they could find – his face, his neck, down his sweater and underneath it on his back. I wanted, needed more of his heated skin.

Somehow we made it over to my couch, removing each other's shirts on the way, and tumbled down on it. This was just what I needed; skin on skin. _Edward_ on _me_.

Our lips pressed together again, and we moaned in unison as our tongues touched once again.

He didn't waste any time before sending his fingers out to unhook my bra clasp (which was, luckily, a front clasp) and throw it aside.

I grabbed his hair forcefully, tugging at it to pull him to kiss my neck. He willingly complied, his mouth savagely attacking my neck and down to my breasts.

"Oh god," I moaned as his mouth and tongue found my right nipple and began stroking it with softness that drove me insane, then moving downwards on my stomach.

After he opened the buttons of my jeans and removed them along with my panties _excruciatingly_ slow, he dived down and darted out his tongue to meet my core, making me twitch.

"Fuck!" I groaned as he began working my clit rhythmically, licking it and sucking gently. His mouth felt so hot and so soft against me, I knew I was going to lose it at any moment. Just the thought of Edward Cullen tasting me, licking my pussy, was enough to push me over the edge. But apparently, a couple of his fingers were even better than the thought.

As soon as he plunged in his fingers, twisting them upwards while still ravishing me with his tongue, I came harder than ever. I whimpered and shouted out his name, clenching around his fingers and convulsing beneath him.

Once I've calmed down, he pulled back and just hovered over me, looking up and down my body with hungry eyes.

I should've felt embarrassed, but all I felt was an overwhelming desire for him. As I ran my hands slowly down his hard chest to his jeans, to strip him naked as well, I gazed back at him intensely, realizing the significance of this moment.

It wasn't easy to grasp that this was Edward, and that I was, in this very moment, removing the rest of his clothes and seeing him naked. He saw _me_ naked. He just fucking _went down_ on me. We're crossing the lines, and we're doing it in lightening speed.

We stared for a moment into each other's eyes, recognizing the same feelings in one another, until his needful lips descended on mine again. The sensual taste of myself in his mouth drove me absolutely wild.

I wrapped one of my legs around him and moaned loudly when his cock came into contact with my hot core, rubbing on all its sensitive spots. Edward groaned into my mouth, making me enthusiastically bite his bottom lip and then plunge my tongue into his awaiting mouth.

In response, he hitched my other leg around him and slowly pushed his cock into my wetness, making me gasp loudly.

Then he stopped moving altogether, and just looked at me through those beautiful green eyes while running his hand smoothly down the side of my impatient body. He made me feel like this need I had for him was insatiable and would never, ever come to an end.

"I can't believe this is happening," I whispered before I could stop myself.

"I know," he whispered back and started moving again with a groan, taking my lips back in his and claiming them his own.

We lost ourselves in the growing-rapid movements, feeling each other in every possible way; kissing, touching, rubbing, caressing, thrusting – until our breathing was completely ragged and our sounds of pleasure turned into near shouts.

He buried his head in my hair, driving himself as deep as I could take it and back out, and whispered my name in my ear.

"Fuck, Edward," I whispered back, feeling myself nearing climax again.

"I've missed you so much," he said and kissed my cheek, and then my lips. I nodded.

"Me too," I could barely let out the words while trying to breathe properly.

He pressed his forehead to mine and kept thrusting hard until we both cried out together in pleasure. God, it was even better than before. I thought I was dead in heaven when I felt him come inside me, our sweaty bodies trembling severely as we held onto each other and rode out our orgasms.

When we came down, he slowly pulled out of me and moved us so that I was lying on top of him, resting my head on his chest.

"Wow," I said, still panting.

"I agree," he said, moving the moist hair stuck on my forehead away from my face.

I fell fast asleep. The night went by all too quickly, but I do remember at some point Edward picking me up bridal style and moving us to my bed. I remember we spent the whole night in each other's arms.

I wished I didn't need to get up and go to work, and leave him with nothing but a note saying that I had to go (and my new cell phone number) on my pillow, but life was life, and perhaps it was better that we both thought separately about everything that happened, anyway.

***

I walked into the store in the morning overjoyed, but also filled with questions, concerns.

_What exactly happened last night?_

_I slept with Edward Cullen._

_No, I fucked Edward Cullen. Well, actually, he fucked me._

_God, what does this mean?_

_Did he want me? Was he just in the mood?_ I realized I knew nothing about him or his present life. I never fucking _asked_.

The most burning questions of all were – _is he seeing someone? And is it going to happen again? Am I even going to hear from him again?_

"_You_," Alice greeted me angrily.

I looked around. We were the only ones in the store.

"Good morning Alice, I'm fine, thank you for asking, how are you?" I said while hanging my coat on a hook behind the counter.

"You never returned any of my calls, and you –" she started, but paused and looked me up and down. I did the same. There was something a little different about her, a little more…

Then she gasped, and we both said simultaneously, "You had sex!"

"Did you?" I asked, trying to deflect her statement about me.

"Yes, but, never mind that! You had sex! You haven't had sex with anyone since Jacob freaking Black!"

"Yeah, well…" I said, but never completed the sentence. "Who did you have sex with? Didn't you have your girl's night last night?"

She bit back a wide grin and nodded.

"So?" I asked.

"So after the girls left, me and Heidi stayed up and, uh… kept the party going ourselves."

"Oh my god!" my jaw literally dropped in shock. "You did it with a _girl_?" I laughed out. "Wow. That is _big_."

"I know," she said excitedly. "Now I know I'm definitely into men!"

"What, it wasn't as fun?" I asked.

"Nah. Girls are way too needy. Besides, I want the disco stick."

I laughed and shook my head. What would I possibly do without Alice in my life?

"So who did you do it with?" she asked curiously.

"Forget about _that_, you did it with a girl!" I said, wanting to avoid answering her questions. I knew she'd kill me if I told her I had sex with Edward.

"Come on, I wanna know, and you trying to dodge my question is only making me suspect that _this_ is big."

"No, just forget about it," I said, shaking my head.

"Bella, please, who was it? Oh my god. Was it Jacob?" she asked, wide eyed.

"No, it wasn't Jacob!" I retorted, and then sighed in defeat. "It was Edward."

"Say what?"

"Edward, it was Edward. _The_ Edward. Edward Cullen. Edward so very hot and shaggy Cullen."

"I told you this is big!" she hit me on the arm. "Oh, Bells! This is a bad idea!"

"I know," I said, but couldn't help but grin.

"A really bad idea! How did this happen?"

"I ran into him on my way home – which is kind of the reason I hung up on you – and I invited him up for coffee, and…" I just shrugged.

"Well, are you going to see him again?"

"I don't know, but I fucking hope so."

"Bella," she warned.

"I'm sorry if I'm not as strong as you'd like me to be, Alice, but I've wanted this man since I was 16, so frankly, I just don't give a shit about getting hurt, because I'm finally getting what I want."

"I get it, Bells, I really do. Just… make sure this is what you _really_ want. Cause I think we both know that you want more."

* * *

_Today, the living room of my apartment, Seattle._

Bella's POV:

"Bella," he said, and kissed me in earnest, his lips brushing against mine with intensity as he held me close. When he broke from the kiss, he lifted his head slightly to kiss my closed eyelid, and then my forehead. "You should know something."

I waited for him to speak as he led me to the living room and pulled me to him again, wrapping his arms around me. He seemed to be struggling to say whatever he had to say.

"Damn it. I should've said this a long time ago," he said – maybe to me, maybe to himself.

"What is it?" I urged him curiously. When someone tells you there is something you should know, it _kind of_ makes you want to know what it is. Badly.

"Bella, I… I, uh… fuck," he laughed softly at his loss of words and pulled back to run a nervous hand through his hair.

"Is everything okay?" I asked when he started to pace in front of me.

"Yeah, sorry," he said and stopped pacing. Instead he stood in front of me with a serious look upon his face. "I- I just meant to say that I… really _care_ about you and I think we should, uh… date or something." He looked down at me with his eyebrows raised in anticipation for an answer.

_Well, that's… surprising._

"You think we should date," I repeated, hoping for an explanation.

"Uh huh," he said and nodded enthusiastically.

"Are you sure about that?" I asked.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" he asked with slight agitation in his voice.

"Well, up until now you were singing a different tune," I remarked. He _was_ the one who said he wasn't ready to go out with me.

"I know. I know, Bella, and I'm sorry," he said, hanging his head.

"What made you change your mind?" I asked.

"Does it matter?"

"Yes, it matters."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because frankly, I'm not sure that you really mean it," I said, trying not to sound too harsh.

I was having an internal battle, when one side of my brain screamed at me to stop asking stupid questions and just kiss him already. After all, this was the man of my dreams, and he _wanted me_. The other side just had to make sure that this was right by both of us, because the last thing I wanted was to get my hopes up and get hurt again.

He sighed. "I guess I deserve that, but I do mean it. When you didn't come home, I wasn't only worried for your well being. I was worried you might've gotten tired of me. Tired of waiting. And the thought of losing you, it made me realize that I'm a stupid fucking idiot for making you wait like that."

"But you did have a reason for it. You said that you had a reason."

"I did, but some things are more important. And it's not just today, it's everything that happened – moving in together, Forks. We should be together."

_Wow_, was all I could think his words melted my brain and made my heart soar.

"You really think that?"

"Yes! God Bella, yes," he said, taking both my hands in his excitedly. His green eyes shone, looking for the same excitement in mine.

I wanted so much to just pounce on my prince charming because he was finally coming around, but a part of me wouldn't believe that something this good could come this easily. I had to understand everything first.

"Then tell me why you made me wait. Why you said you weren't ready," I asked.

"Bella."

"Tell me," I begged with my eyes. I didn't want to push, but if he wouldn't tell me, how could I be sure he wouldn't just change his mind again?

"I think you'll be mad," he let go of my hands and wrinkled his face slightly in an extremely adorable way.

"I _have_ to know, Edward," I said.

He sighed. "Fine. But please, just don't be quick to judge me, okay?"

I nodded.

He took a few moments, and then spoke.

"I can't take care of you, Bella," he started. "I don't have any money or any real education. I don't have a car, and if you hadn't saved me, I'd be homeless, too." He started pacing in front of me again. "I can't provide for you, I can't give you the security you need… hell, I can't even take you on a proper date."

I didn't say anything; it sounded like he had more to say, and I wanted to let him to finish before responding.

"I'm not good enough for you, and I was just scared that you'd realize that I don't deserve you, that you could do better, and it'll be over. So I wanted to… get my life together first, I guess."

I closed my eyes and shook my head in disbelief.

"God, Edward," I sighed.

"I'm sorry," he said, and took a step towards me. I took a step back, needing a moment to digest things fully.

"So… what you're basically saying is that the reason that I waited, and suffered, and felt rejected, for, what, months? Is that you thought you weren't good enough for me… because of _money_?" I asked incredulously.

"See, I knew you'd be mad," he said.

"_Of course_ I'm mad! You don't think I have the right to decide who is good enough for me and who isn't?" I raised my voice further.

He stood quietly, waiting for _me_ to finish now.

"I mean, money, Edward? Really? You think I even _care _about that?"

"I didn't mean it like that," he said.

"You wanted to be with me, and I wanted to be with you, and what made you keep leaving was money?"

I shook my head. I couldn't think, not with Edward looking so regretful in front of me. I needed to get away, clear my head and think about this rationally. Because, honestly, I was so mad that I thought I might say something mean.

"I can't be here," I said, and turned to leave; go for a walk, or back to the book store, or _something_.

Edward followed me and caught up with me at the door, holding me by the arm. I turned around.

"Bella," he said. "Don't go."

"I can't do this," I said in spite of what the other part of my brain screamed at me.

"Yes, you can. You just have the tendency to run whenever things get a little rough." he said, making me look up at him angrily.

"Edward, _let go_," I said through my teeth.

"You're just afraid. It scares you that this is happening. I know, because it scares me too. But I'm not going to let you run away again like last night."

"I'm not scared," I said, avoiding his eyes.

_Well, maybe just a little._

"Bells, look at me," he said, letting go of my arm. Instead, he cupped my face in his hands, forcing me to gaze at him. He looked down at me through sincere eyes. "I'm right here. And I'm not going anywhere. This is _for real_."

He ran one hand down the side of my body and around me, pressing my body to his by the small of my back. His warm breathe was surrounding me – and for once, it wasn't clouding my mind; it was making me think more clearly.

The idiot was right. I was scared. I was fucking mad at him too, but not enough to say no to him. This was _him_. It was Edward Cullen, the guy I'd spent my whole adult life longing for. And he was _right here_. Could I just let myself live in the moment and let this happen?

"Please don't say no," he said, and I could see that he was bearing himself in front of me, in a way that people who have a hard time showing their emotions almost never did. And he was asking me not to say no.

_I couldn't even if I wanted to._

And with that thought, I nodded and let him take over the moment, pull me by the hand to press me against him and run a caressing hand on my face.

I let out an excited sigh as his lips landed on mine, thrilling in the thought that this was our first kiss as an actual _couple_.

It started out as a soft, gentle kiss – one that held every bit of emotion and affection that we'd felt for each other. But the passion in it burned, and it quickly turned into something so intense, it scared me.

"Bella," he groaned, running his hands down my back and on my ass to pick me up. I wrapped my arms and my legs around him and he sat down on the couch with me in his lap, facing him and my legs on each side of him.

Our foreheads pressed together, and I felt his heavy breathing mimicking mine. Then our lips touched again, moving unyieldingly together just like our bodies were. His hands roamed my body up and down, until he suddenly grabbed my thighs and laid me on my back on the couch and hovered over me.

At first I pulled him to me, I moaned, lost in the moment and in his kiss. I wanted this. I wanted him _badly_ right now.

But something inside me said it would be wrong to start our relationship this way. This was exactly what screwed things up in the first place. And before I had a chance to tell myself to shut the fuck up, I was pulling away.

"Wait – wait," I said, pushing him away gently to break from the kiss, panting.

"Sorry," he laughed softly in embarrassment and sat back on the couch, pulling me up to sit in his lap.

"Don't be, I just think that maybe we should… go slow?" I said and bit on my bottom lip nervously.

"I will go slow, but after a few thrusts you'll be begging for me to go faster," he grinned, planting an open mouth kiss on my neck.

I groaned at the tingling sensation that his words - and his tongue - caused to down my body.

"Edward," I said, wanting him to take this seriously.

"I'm just kidding," he laughed and rubbed my cheek gently with his thumb. "If going slow is what you think is best for us, then we'll take it slow."

"Really? You don't mind?" I asked, surprised. Knowing Edward, he wasn't exactly the patient type of person, especially when he was, well, horny.

"No, I actually agree. We can just… spend time together," he said.

_He's really serious about this,_ I thought, causing my heartbeat to pick up.

"Talk, and watch movies," I suggested.

"Exactly."

"Yup."

We both considered this in silence for a moment, and I wondered if he was doubting our willpowers to withstand this decision, like I was. The idea of taking it slow made sense, but seeing as Edward was downright irresistible, I didn't know if the task of keeping my hands off him for a while was even possible.

"So do you want to get some takeout?" he asked.

"Ugh," I hung my head back. "I feel so bad, I wanted to make you dinner, and I didn't even get to bake you a birthday cake, something."

"I got all I wanted for my birthday, Bells," his smiled to me brightly, tightening his hold on me.

"We're really doing this, aren't we?" I grinned back to him and snuggled in his body.

"I guess we are," he said and kissed my hair.

"Edward Cullen is my boyfriend," I mused, loving the idea. So many times I'd dreamed of saying this sentence in the last few years.

"You'll have to wear a t-shirt that says that, you know," he said, "to keep the rest of the guys away."

"Come on, nobody ever comes on to me," I laughed. "Well, except for this one guy, actually…"

"What? What guy?" he asked with obvious panic on his face. I laughed out again.

"What are you so worried about?"

"I want to know who came on to you," he said, his hands clinging to my lower back.

"Some guy at the store today asked me to go out with him to dinner," I shrugged with a smile. I really liked jealous Edward.

"And what did you say?"

"I said, 'yes, I'll marry you'. What do you think I said? I said no," I kissed him slowly, my lips lingering onto his for a long moment, savoring the feeling of being able to do that whenever I wanted.

"I'm ordering you that t-shirt tomorrow," he grunted and kissed me again.

I laughed into the kiss, feeling happier than I have for a long time. I just hoped that letting myself be happy and just live in the moment isn't going to come back and bite me on the ass in the future.


	17. The Boyfriend

_A/N: Hello hello! Sorry for the delayed update, I needed to give my other story, Before I Do, some attention as well, but I plan on updating __**both**__ these fics regularly from now on, so hopefully, delayed updates will be rare :)_

_Thanks a bunch to all my wonderful readers and of course to my precious, amazing, beautiful reviewers, who make me giggly and happy for days at a time:_

_Bloftus, nica25, cam_illa, Puasluoma, Jennalovesjess, Rosalie_Cullen12, chewycui, iwannabe, Keren Sol, Sherry80, antariangirl93, chelletwi83, ArlynG, and of course my amazing __**Jerz babe**__! Some comments:_

[+]_ I will definitely make all you "My Boyfriend Is Edward Cullen" t-shirts, when I have the money for it! Lol_

[+]_ "Sex/Emoward" cracked me up like you wouldn't __**believe**__. And I know we all just __**love**__ Jealousward!_

[+]_ I have no words as to what your compliments about this fic and my writing are doing to me! I LOVE YOU!_

[+]_ Rob did say that on Letterman and I can't believe you guys thought of my fic when you saw it! You guys are the best ;)_

_The flashback in this chapter is set after Bella is already with Jake, but before the Christmas kiss :) hope you'll enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight (but I do own Spanish Guy :D)_

* * *

**Chapter 17: The Boyfriend.**

_4 years ago, Forks._

I went down to the kitchen once I was ready for school, my sneakers squeaking loudly all over the empty house.

I walked to the fridge to get an apple or something to fill my empty stomach, when I saw a note hanging by a magnet on its door.

_Happy birthday Bells._

_Love, dad._

I smiled to myself and stuck the note in my jacket pocket. Charlie was never a man of many words, but that was one of the most endearing qualities he had. He was as awkward as I was, but always managed to say the right thing anyway.

I was brought out of my thoughts by a honking noise coming from outside. I looked through the kitchen window and rolled my eyes. Ever since Carlisle and Esme got Edward that Volvo – the one gift he just couldn't resist - he'd been showing off and saying shit about its engine all day.

It was quite the surprise, him showing up here this morning (well, a great fucking surprise), because he hadn't given me a ride to school ever since he learned about Jake and I.

I went outside, locking the door, and rushed over to Edward's car, which was parked in Charlie's spot.

"Edward," I called with a smile as I reached his open window, my heart thumping in my chest the moment I laid eyes on him and his scruffy hair.

"Happy eighteenth birthday, Bells," he said excitedly with a wide grin. "Come on, get in."

"Thanks. What are you doing here?" I asked while getting inside the car, trying not to sound like he wasn't completely welcomed.

"Well, since it is your birthday, I thought you might want to ride my awesome Volvo, instead of that rusty, old, barely moving truck of yours," he said, starting the car and leaving the driveway.

"Hey, do not insult Penelope on my birthday, okay?"

"I think it's sad that you name your truck."

"Not as sad as you naming your bicycle Jessica Alba," I mumbled under my breath. I think he liked the idea of 'riding Jessica Alba' more than anything else.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You said something," he narrowed his eyes at me.

"No I didn't, now get your eyes back on the fucking road please," I said, and he did.

"So where am I taking you out tonight?" he asked.

"T-taking me out?" I stammered, and swallowed the lump in my throat. I stared at him for a moment, bedazzled by the phrasing of that sentence. He made it sounds like we were going out, and it pinched my heart a little that we weren't actually dating.

"Yeah. It's your birthday, we have to go somewhere," he said.

"Oh, right. Uh, I don't know," I shook my head nervously.

"How about a movie?" he suggested.

"And pizza afterwards?" I smiled at the idea, thinking how long we hadn't gone out for a movie and pizza.

"Of course," he grinned, hopefully thinking the same.

***

When I got home after school, Charlie's police car was in his parking space. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and went inside to see if he was actually home. Charlie was never home this early.

"Dad?" I called as I entered the front door. I put my book bag down and looked around for Charlie. The television was on, on some baseball game, which definitely meant he was home.

"In here!" he hollered back.

I walked over to the direction of his shout – the kitchen – and found my dad there, and not alone.

"Hey dad, hey… Sue," I said awkwardly, leaning against the doorframe to the kitchen. Both my dad and Sue were standing in different corners of the kitchen, looking just as uncomfortable as I was.

Sue Clearwater was the widow of Harry Clearwater, who was friends with Charlie, and also fellow police officer. She was a petite woman, black haired and brown eyed, with a kind face. And she was kind, at least from what little I'd known her.

"Happy birthday, Bella," she said, smiling. "And don't you look lovely."

_Well, the last time you saw me I was 10 and covered in mud._

"Umm, thank you," I nodded, biting my lip and trying to smile despite of the weird situation.

"Sue actually came here to drop off this cake she made for you," Charlie said, nodding his head to the big chocolate cake lying on the stove.

"Wow," I said in appreciation. "It looks great."

"It tastes great, too," Charlie said and chuckled. I narrowed my eyes slightly at his strange demeanor.

"Your father already stole a taste. I tried to stop him, but it was no use," she said and laughed. "Just like a little boy," she looked at him, and it seemed they were… sharing a moment. I inwardly considered pinching myself, or poking my hand with a knife that was lying on the table I was standing next to – you know, just to make sure I was awake.

"Yeah, he is that," I said, eyeing my dad. _He_ was looking at his shoes.

"Anyway, I will be going now; Seth and Leah should be home soon. It was nice to see you Bella," she said.

After we said our goodbyes to Sue, I turned to my dad with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Nothing, I just… I didn't know you and Sue Clearwater were even talking," I said.

"Of course we are, I go to the Reservation almost every day, she lives there…" he trailed off.

"What are you doing home so early, anyway?" I started taking out stuff from the fridge to make us lunch.

"Well… it's your birthday. I thought you might not want to spend your afternoon home alone," he said. "And you don't have to bother yourself with making a meal, I ordered us some pizza."

"Oh," I said and took the things back to the fridge. His excuse was a bit strange, especially considering the fact that he never came home early on any of my other birthdays, but I just let it go. "Well, you didn't have to come home early especially for me, I would've been fine just doing the laundry. It's no big deal."

"Don't worry about it. Anyway, your mother and I got you a little something. Wait here," he said and went out of the kitchen, coming back with two wrapped up boxes.

"Dad, you didn't have to get me anything," I said and gave him a hug. He hugged me back in his Charlie-ish, awkward manner and handed me the gifts.

Apparently, they synchronized. Renee got me a scrapbook and Charlie got me a digital camera, both I was really excited about. After I took some forced pictures of Charlie, the pizza arrived and we sat down to eat.

"So… Bella," he said. "There's… something I thought we should probably talk about."

"Oh?" I asked.

"See, you're eighteen now, practically a grown up. And you're doing grown up things, and…"

"Dad, what is it?" I asked, willing him to get to the point.

"We should probably talk about, you know, being safe."

"Dad, I've got my pepper spray, I can howl like a wolf, and frankly – after those self defense moves you taught me, I don't envy the bastard who tries to attack me," I said, taking a huge bite out of my pizza.

"I'm not talking about that," he mumbled.

"-hen wha?" I asked while my mouth was still filled with cheese, dough, and some olives.

"You being safe… with boys. With Jacob," he said, and my breath got caught in my throat, along with some of the pizza. He tapped on my back while I tried coughing it out, until I relaxed.

"We don't need to talk about that," I said firmly, trying with all my might to avoid having this conversation with my dad.

"You mean you already…?" he said, looking paler than the kitchen wall.

"No - no!" I said, dropping my pizza to the plate in dismay. "I already talked about this with mom, okay? Birds and bees, protection, guys are only after one thing – I'm _covered_."

"So, you haven't… yet," he said, making sure.

"Daaad," I stomped my foot on the floor. "I haven't, alright? Can we… _not_ talk about this? Ever? Never ever in our lives?"

"Okay, okay." He nodded slowly, probably deciding to shut up now. "I trust you, you know," he said after a few moments, and I smiled.

"I know… thanks," I said, knowing I was lucky enough to have a dad who cares, no matter how embarrassing and slightly revolting it was.

***

I stood in front of the mirror nervously, trying to make my hair sit the way I wanted it to. I was wearing my newest (and tightest) pair of jeans, a dark blue blouse that Edward had given me a compliment about once, and my usual Converse. I thought I actually looked pretty good, but I couldn't shake the nerves.

_This is what going on a date with Edward must feel like_, I thought.

It's not like we hadn't done this before, but it felt different now. Maybe because it was my birthday, maybe because of the way he had asked (and kept reminding me throughout the day about it). There was also something different about Edward, had been for a while. His treatment towards me changed, and I didn't know if for the good or bad.

Either he right out ignored me, stop picking me up for school, and kept silence during lunch hour – or he talked to me and looked at me like everyone but the two of us had vanished from the world, even more so than before.

I wasn't stupid; I could figure out it all started when he found out Jake and I were dating. I knew this would affect Edward and our friendship on some level, but I had no idea what was going on.

"Bells… someone here for you!" I heard Charlie call from downstairs, and couldn't help but to grin widely to myself. I put my cell phone and some money in my jeans pockets, and hurried downstairs.

And to my utter and complete shock, it wasn't Edward standing in my living room.

"Jake," I said, gaped mouthed, as I walked down the last few steps, trying not to fall over.

"Happy birthday, Bells!" he said excitedly. He had his nicest dress shirt on, and had a bouquet of flowers in his hand, which he offered to me.

"Wow, thank you," I said, admiring the flowers for a moment and then setting them aside to hug him.

"You're welcome, baby," he whispered in my ear, and Charlie cleared his throat loudly, making us pull apart. I smirked, guessing he was still nervous about what he had attempted to talk to me about earlier.

"Jake, can I talk to you for a second? In the kitchen?" I asked.

"Sure," he nodded, and I eyed Charlie to make him stop looking so freaking petrified. It's not like I was going to sleep with Jacob in the kitchen with my dad in the next room.

"You haven't called all day," I started, once we were in the kitchen, and he interrupted me.

"I know. I know," he said, hanging his head forward. "And I'm sorry… I just wanted it to be a surprise."

"Yeah, yeah, of course, I know that," I smiled slightly, trying to tell him what I wanted without offending him. "It's just that, I had no idea that you were coming tonight, and I sort of… already made plans. With Edward." I mentally winced when saying Edward's name out loud to Jake, because I knew he would get totally mad about it.

"Okay, well, we can all do something together," he said lightly, and I stopped short before I blurted out all the apologies I intended to.

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"It's your birthday. We can all go out," he said.

"You don't mind?" I eyed him suspiciously, almost waiting for him to get mad suddenly.

"I'm not an idiot, I know you guys are best friends. You should be able to hang out with both of us on your birthday," he smiled.

"Well… thank you," I sighed out happily, and threw my arms around him. "You're amazing," I told him.

"You're the amazing one," he said, and pulled back slightly to kiss my lips.

***

_Edward's POV:_

After Charlie told me Bella was in the kitchen, I went upstairs quietly, laid my gift on Bella's bed, and went back downstairs to enter the kitchen.

My heart stopped at once when I saw it.

_Him_, with his hands all over her and pushing his tongue down her throat like a fucking 15 year old. _She's supposed to be mine_, I growled inwardly at either him or myself. _And what the hell is he doing here, anyway?_

It took all my inner strength not to tear him the fuck away from her and permanently damage his face; so instead, I cleared my throat loudly, thankfully breaking their kiss.

"Edward," Bella said, leaning on the table and away from Black.

"Hey Cullen," he smiled smugly, wiping his lips of Bella's lipstick – and god, did that fucking _hurt_.

"Black," I said dryly. "You ready to go, Bells?" I asked Bella.

"Umm…" she struggled with her words, looking at Jacob.

That's when I noticed how she looked. She looked perfect. That dark blue shade against the hue of her pale, creamy skin, her brown curls spread on her shoulders magnificently, and _man_ were those jeans tight. They hugged her thighs and her ass perfectly, and memories of Bella sleeping next to me in her pajama shorts crept inside my head.

"I'm coming with you guys," Jacob said, the arrogance in his voice snapping me back to reality.

"What?" I asked, refusing to believe this is actually happening to me.

"Well, Jake wants to spend my birthday with me too, so… he suggested that we all go together. Is that okay?" Bella asked hesitantly.

_I'm really going to have to spend the evening watching him all over _my_ girl, aren't I?_ I thought. Only she wasn't _my_ girl. She was his, at least for now.

"Why wouldn't it be okay?" Jacob asked her, throwing his arm not-so-casually around Bella's shoulders.

"Yeah… why wouldn't it," I said grimly, watching Bella as she loosened herself from Jacob's grip and went to the living room, for us to follow.

"See, Cullen," he said in a low voice. "I'm not stupid. I know you're after her, and I'm not about to act jealous and clear the path for you. Stay the fuck away," he warned, and went after Bella.

I smirked to myself, because I had absolutely no intention of staying away from Bella, and the fact that he was nervous about me just spurred me on.

He may have had his arm around her shoulders while we were watching the movie, but she was holding _my_ hand in hers, next to her knee. He may have been pulling her for long kisses, ones that made my fists clinch in anger, but I was the one who knew she hated it when guys interrupted her to watch movies and tried to kiss her. Because I _knew_ her.

And he may have given her a birthday present – a stupid charm bracelet he made – and she did love it, but I knew she would come home at night and open my gift, and love it so much more. It was The Second Folio of Shakespeare, printed in 1632, a rare book she'd been raving about for a while now. It was quite expensive, but Carlisle – after I insisted on it for days - was able to get a good deal on it through an old friend from Italy.

See, I knew that eventually she would realize what he's doing, that he's trying to monopolize her life and push me out of it – I had no doubt about it. And when she would, she might finally realize that I'm better for her, and I could make her happier than he ever could.

* * *

Bella's POV:

_Today, as in the first day of Edward and mine as a couple, the kitchen in my Seattle apartment._

I was making coffee for Edward and me, while waiting for him to come out of his morning shower. I had gotten up extra early just to be able to be with him in the morning, before he left for work. Before my boyfriend, Edward Cullen, left for work.

_I'm Edward Cullen's girlfriend_, I sung in my head cheerfully while prancing around the counter fetching coffee beans and sugar.

I grinned widely when I heard Edward's steps, and felt his warm arms wrap around me from behind a few moments later.

"Good morning," he said to my ear, but I could barely hear it through the loud thumping of my heart.

"Mm, it is a good morning," I mused, turning around to face him with a smile fixed on my face. He looked like a dream, all dressed up for work and his hair still wet from the shower.

"I don't think I've ever seen you this jovial at this time of the day," he laughed.

"It's a mind trick, I'm actually not even awake yet," I replied with the same wide smile, the one that stretched my cheeks so much it was actually starting to hurt.

"Maybe we could change that," he said huskily and kissed my smiling lips, wiping the smile away in favor of the small moan that escaped me. I captured his lips between mine, feeling my back press against the counter. God, he tasted good – better than coffee, and that was saying something.

His lips moved slowly, but rather intensely against mine, and I felt his hands move down my sides to grab my thighs – very _high_ up my thighs.

I gasped against his lips when he suddenly lifted me up to sit on the counter, but came around quickly and pulled him to stand closer to me, between my parted legs. Even that didn't feel like he was close enough, and my hands pulled at the strands of his moist hair while pressing our lips together. I felt heat spreading through my body as we kissed with vigor, our sex drives working overtime and our breathing on the verge of frantic.

He ran one of his hands up my body to move my hair back over my shoulder, and relocated his lips onto my neck, kissing all the way up behind me ear and eliciting a very throaty moan out of me.

And fuck, was I wet. It was 6:15 in the morning and I was wet.

Just as my hands instinctively went for the buttons of his dress shirt, I realized we were probably going to far and, well… _not_ taking it slow.

"Edward," I choked out, unable to believe I was doing this to myself, and pulled slightly back from him.

He looked at me in complete understanding and nodded with the most adorable, slightly embarrassed smile. "Yeah," he leaned his forehead against mine, still breathing raggedly.

"God, that was hard," I sighed out. I mean, you try stopping yourself from jumping Edward Cullen.

"Tell me about it," he said, looking down at his man-parts and making me laugh out through heavy breaths.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, holding his face between my hands as he buried it in the crook of my neck.

"Don't be sorry," he said. "I just really fucking want to undress you right now."

I bit my lip and just barely stifled a groan. _God, what are you _doing_ to me?_

"But, it's better for now," he moved back to smile at me encouragingly, "besides, I should probably get going in a few minutes, and we both know that is not enough time."

I shook my head slowly, grinning to him, and handed him his coffee, taking mine to myself.

"Thanks," he said and took a slow sip, his eyes fixed in a lustful stare on me.

I was thankful for the fact that I was sitting, because I was getting weak in the knees. Feeling my willpowers start to falter, I started making nonsense chit chat. I guessed Edward didn't want to make things difficult for me now, so he just went along with it, until he had to go to work.

He took his things, I followed him to the door, and he almost left – but then he turned around. "Umm… Bells?" he asked in an unsure voice.

"Yeah?" I asked curiously.

"Do you want to, uh… have a date night? Or something?"

I was momentarily stuck in a daze, due to Edward's _very_ close proximity, but I felt myself nodding slowly.

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, somehow sounding breathier than I intended to.

"Renting a movie. Takeout. Perhaps a board game. Doing the crossword puzzle. We can solve Sudoku," he said, making me laugh out. No one has ever sounded this sexy saying the word 'Sudoku'.

"Can't wait," I said with a grin, sure beyond a doubt that this wouldn't be the same as Monday movie nights – not at all.

"Neither can I," he replied. Our warm breaths hovered between us as he brushed his lips onto mine for a brief moment, before he left – and left me wanting so much more.

I felt so dazed at work, so cheerful, that I didn't even pay attention to this incredibly annoying complaining customer, one who just couldn't believe that we didn't have some old record – despite the fact that she walked into a _book_ _store_.

I didn't care about anything. I didn't even care about working the shift alone with Jacob. I was too high on Edward to care.

I guess that's why I thought I was seeing things when the little bell at the door chimed and I saw _Edward_ come inside the store. I rubbed my eyes and shook my head, but he was still walking towards me, messy bronzy hair and everything.

"Edward," I said in wonder, and from the corner of my eye saw Jake nearly crack his neck from spinning his head in Edward's direction.

"Miss me?" he asked with a grin, and shot a glance in Jake's direction.

I walked around the counter and faced Edward, intending to ask him what he was doing here, but didn't get the chance – he just wrapped his arms around me and kissed me wholeheartedly, as if we weren't standing 10 feet away from Jacob.

_Or maybe because we _are_ standing 10 feet away from Jacob._

I pulled away from the kiss, wondering if I was paranoid in thinking he came here on his lunch break to flaunt our relationship in front of Jake.

"You didn't say you were coming," I smiled to him, trying not to make it seem like I wasn't happy to see him, because I really was.

"I thought I'd surprise you," he said, smiling back brilliantly.

_God, he's so pretty_.

"Seriously?" Jake asked, striding slowly towards us. "Why don't you just pee on her and get it over with?"

"I can kiss my girlfriend if I want," Edward said, throwing his arm over my shoulder.

I kept quiet, not knowing what to say. I had a feeling Jake was right, but on the other hand, he was being an idiot right now.

"Yeah, yeah. You didn't have to come all the way here to let me know she's your girlfriend. I _kinda_ figured it out from her floating about the store all morning."

"Jake, you don't need to be such an ass," I informed him.

"I'd be nicer if your pretty boyfriend here wasn't treating you like you're his property."

"Where do you fucking get off, Black?" Edward nearly growled at him.

"You are just as possessive now as you were back then, when you two were nothing but friends," Jake muttered.

"You're the one throwing tantrums because she's not yours," Edward smirked at him.

"Please. What, did you use mind tricks to get her?"

"Okay, stop," I silenced them both, taking Edward's hand and leading him away to speak to him privately. "Edward, I appreciate you coming here, for… whatever reason it was, but I just can't handle this right now and I have work to do."

"Are you mad?" he asked, looking down at me sadly.

I shook my head. "We're okay. I'll see you at home, alright?" I smiled.

He smiled back and kissed me shortly on the lips, interrupted by the bell's chiming as two girls walked into the store. "Customers," I said with a smile and went over to help them once he nodded in understanding.

***

Edward's POV:

I watched Bella walk away, guiding the two girls through the bookshelves, and turned to Black.

"Now you listen to me," I told him, recalling everything that happened a few years back, and his words to me. "I know you're after her, but she's with _me_ now."

"She's not yours," he said, crossing his arms against his chest like he was trying to threat me.

"I don't own her, no," I shook my head. "But she wants to be with me, so right now it's her _choice_ to be mine. She's not your girlfriend anymore, so stay the fuck away," I turned his own words against him, and walked out of the store.

But I knew, by catching a glimpse of his smirk before turning around, that he had no intention of staying away.


	18. The Date Night

_**A/N**__: Hey heys dudes! Well, it's been two weeks, which means this isn't a very FAST update, but it's not very slow either :) I do have two really important exams coming up, though, so the next one might take just a litttttle longer, but I'll definitely try to write as fast as Superman probably does on his keyboard!_

_A great, great thanks to everyone who reads this story, and great big diamond necklaces for everyone who reviewed (the guys – though Harry, you might be the only one – get a sports car of your choice instead lol): __**Jerz babe**__, iwannabe, cam_illa, Shoveler, ThisChickRunsWithVampires, teambellaedward, chelletwi83, honeybun81, carolbenatti, twiguy04(Harry), angel-cordy, chewcui, bloftus, and antariangirl93! You are the most awesome readers EVER! Comments:_

_* Thank you for missing this story, it means so much to me! _

_* Bloftus – Quantum Mechanics? I have genius readers here or what?_

_* Harry – Mirror image is usually my intention, thanks for appreciating!_

_* Everyone who commented on the Edward/Jake happenings – A. boys will be boys, right? B. Woo for Possessiveward, boo for Jacob the ass, indeed! C. Well, Jake is definitely going to __**try**__ to get her back ;)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I just manipulate it to death._

* * *

**Chapter 18: The Date Night.**

_4 years ago, the night of Bella's birthday, Forks._

Edward's POV:

I had to see her.

I had to see her, and I had to hear if it's still my name she was mumbling sweetly in her sleep. And although I knew I was risking hearing Jacob's name coming through her lips instead, and having my heart break – no, shatter – into too many fucking pieces to ever be able to glue back together, I had to take my chances.

I was going to see her tonight, no matter what.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Esme looked over me with a slightly amused look, over the kitchen counter. She was cooking something for tomorrow, something that apparently had to be in the stove all night, and I was leaning over the counter and watching her. Or more like waiting for her to go to bed so I can sneak out.

"Just school," I mumbled, hating to lie to her.

"School, huh? I didn't realize you were so devoted to the… what did you call it the other day? Life sucking institute full of incompetent morons?" she smiled knowingly.

She could read me like an open book, which I hated. I didn't want to talk about feelings, or Bella, or my feelings for Bella.

"Yeah, I… have a Spanish test tomorrow. I'm just trying to go over the, uh… nouns. You know, to make sure that I'm prepared," I said, rubbing the back of my neck. At least the part about the Spanish test wasn't a lie.

"Well, Spanish _is_ important. Let's see. What's the word for house?"

"Casa. That's too easy, give me something else," I said, relieved that the subject of the conversation had taken a better turn.

"Alright. Parents?"

"Padres," I answered quickly.

"Kitchen?"

"Cosina, which is also your favorite restaurant," I flashed her a smile.

"They have the best Gnocchi. The word for 'stew'?"

I had to dig deep for that one.

"Uh… guiso?"

"Yes," she smiled proudly. "Another word for 'bonita'?"

_Bella_, I thought instinctively as I watched Esme's smile turn into a sly smirk.

I narrowed my eyes at her. She just did that on purpose. _Sneaky_.

"Linda," I answered warily. "I think that's enough for tonight."

"Fine, my darling," she said with a smile, returning to cut a large red pepper for what she was making. "You know, I was thinking. Why don't you ask your good friend Bella to have dinner with us tomorrow?"

"Mom. Stop," I said, serious this time. I did not want to talk about her to Esme.

"What? I'm making all this food, and we didn't even get to wish her a happy birthday yet," she said, shrugging her shoulders innocently.

"Fine, I'll ask her," I said in defeat. "Can I help you cook?"

She started cutting the last of the peppers – a jalapeno pepper – and shook her head.

"Actually, I'm just about done. It'll take me another five minutes, tops, and then I'll be going straight to bed. I'm so tired; I probably won't hear a _thing_."

I looked up at her, surprised.

She knew that I was hanging around the kitchen because I was waiting for her to go to sleep; she knew that I planned on sneaking out, and she just cleared the way for me. Of course, she probably thought Bella _knew_ that I was coming, because I don't think Esme would approve of me climbing into Bella's bedroom to watch her sleep.

"Okay then," I said, hoping she would somehow understand that I was grateful, and went up to my room to change clothes and wait for her to go to bed, before I could leave.

When I heard the door to the master bedroom close, I shot up from my bed and quietly went downstairs, leaving through the kitchen door and getting on Jessica Alba. I mean my bicycle.

I rode all the way to Bella's house, which sucked because it was fucking cold outside – but if I had driven my car here, there was no way that Charlie wouldn't hear me coming.

I parked my bike outside and started climbing up the tree to Bella's bedroom, thankful that her window was just slightly open.

I peeked inside. It was dark, but I could see Bella's figure, sleeping somberly on her bed, her chest heaving up and down. I opened the window all the way up and climbed into the warm room, shutting it almost the whole way back down once I was in, trying to be as quiet as possible.

Bella was still asleep. The sight of her face made my heart clench. They were peaceful, almost smiling. And god, she was so beautiful. How could I have been such a fucking fool to not notice that until she was already taken?

I kneeled in front of the bed at her side, careful not to breathe on her and wake her up or something. She'd be scared out of her mind, and probably never talk to me again, if that happened.

That's when I noticed it. She was sleeping with the book that I got for her between her hands, loosely lying near her stomach. It looked as if she'd been holding it to her chest before turning to the side in her sleep. I couldn't help but smile; she did like my gift.

Thank god that idiot, Black, didn't think to buy her something like that. He would've probably gotten to second base if he knew her well enough to know what gift would make her tiny heart swell with joy.

I shook my head, because the thought of him touching her like that actually made me sick – I mean _physically_, it made me sick.

I let my eyes return to Bella, letting them roam her small, delicate body. Her skin looked amazingly soft, and it was radiating heat – heat that threatened to pull me in. I had to hold myself to not get closer to her, to not reach out and touch.

I wanted so much to caress her face, run a hand through her silky, wild hair. I wanted to touch her exposed collar bone, and the top parts of her breasts that were peeking through her little top, and to reach underneath her top…

I shook the dirty thoughts out of my head and forced myself to look up at her face again.

It only took a short glance to be mesmerized by her features again, but now I wanted so badly to kiss her. I wanted to know what it feels like to have her lips pressed gently to mine, to share the same breath with her, to slide my tongue between her lips to meet hers, taste her. I wanted to know what Bella tasted like, so much.

I wanted to climb on top of her right now, press my body down to hers and taste her lips, her neck, her breasts, her entire body.

I didn't even realize how much time passed while I was staring at her, until she moaned softly in her sleep and moved slightly, digging her head deeper into the pillow. I checked my watch. It's been over an hour.

I suddenly filled with guilt. I felt like a perverse peeping Tom, climbing up a tree, getting in through the window, sitting next to her bed, and staring her while she was sleeping in a skimpy top. Not to mention the thoughts that were going through my head, the ones that no 18 year old could fight off.

I was just about to get up when I heard her again.

"Mmedward," she mumbled quietly. She was definitely asleep, because her eyes were still shut and she hadn't kicked me out through the window yet.

My heart was racing like I just ran five miles.

_She did say it. She said my name. At least, I think she did. Yes, I'm pretty sure Mmedward is Edward._

"Edward," she said again, and her tongue darted out to lick her lips.

…_Fuck_, I mentally groaned, swallowing hard.

I knew it was because her mouth was probably dry or something, but licking her lips like that after having said my name? Fucking sexy as hell.

She sighed softly in her sleep, and my heart clenched harshly again, sending spikes of pain through my veins.

_How could I love her this much?_ The thought involuntarily crept into my mind, and I closed my eyes shut, wondering why I was doing things to intentionally hurt myself so fucking badly.

I had to get out of there.

I opened the window carefully again, climbed out, went down the tree, and ran out of there with my bike, not even bothering to close the window back down. I guess a part of me wanted her to know that I was there.

While I was riding back home, and the cool air calmed my body down, I couldn't help but smile. _She said _my_ name. Not Black's, mine_.

The only question was… what was I going to do about that?

* * *

Bella's POV:

_Today, my shared apartment in Seattle. Shared, as in shared with my boyfriend (insert squeal here)._

"Hey," I heard Edward say as he walked into the apartment. "I got us a horror flick and 2 comedies – 'cause I figured after we watch some dead bodies you'd be too freaked out to go to bed without something funny to watch – and I got us some after-Chinese-snacks… _Jesus fuck_," he finally said as he walked into the kitchen and found me there, all dressed up for our date.

I did have to do _something_ to make this evening different than say, Monday movie night – this was supposed to be date night. So I threw on a little black dress, no big deal. Okay, okay, I looked fucking amazing. For me, that is. It showed off some of the features that some might find somewhat more appealing about me – like legs, and, well, boobs.

He put the bags on the floor and pulled me up from my chair just to attack me with his lips, his hands in my hair and on my back, pressing me firmly to him. I tried doing the same, but closer didn't feel quite close enough.

He pulled away seconds later, and looked down from my eyes to my chest and back up, shaking his head slowly.

"I don't see how you expect me to keep up with your rules when you dress like that," he said with just the right amount of desire to make my panties not drop, but literally disappear into thin air.

I was quite pleased, though, because the cleavage on this dress worked like a charm.

"Good things come to those who wait," I said in a raspy voice and an innocent, tempting smile. He was a sucker for those.

"Except, I don't want good things. I want very, very _bad_ things," he smirked, his eyes not leaving mine now. That stupid innocent smile wiped right off. It was safe to say that if I had thought for a second that I had the upper hand here, I was dead wrong. He had me under voodoo magic or something. _Panty vanishing voodoo_.

I tried coming up with a good comeback, I really did, but honestly, my brain just felt like mush. All I could think about was how sexy his lips looked, and his sexy smoldering eyes, and that goddamn sexy hair.

And to top all _that_ off, my mouth was hanging open like I'm an idiot, and there _may_ have been some drooling involved.

"But, you know, what you think is best," he finally said, pecking my lips shortly and taking the bags to the counter.

I wanted to scowl at him, but on second thought, it was _me_ I knew I should be scowling at. I was the one who said that taking things slow is the best way, something I wasn't even so sure about. Just because that's what everybody says all the time, doesn't make it true.

But it was hard to tell if my second thoughts were really second thoughts, or actually my good old inability to resist Edward Cullen rearing its head once again.

"So, which movies did you get?" I asked once I snapped out of it, and dug into the bags he got, finding the ice cream (of course he would get ice cream, otherwise I'd kill him) and putting it in the fridge.

"40 Days and 40 Nights, and Monty Python," he said as I went back to the bags next to him to see what else he brought.

"Awesome, which Monty Python?" I asked.

"The Meaning of Life."

"That's my favorite one," I smiled to him.

"I know," he said, smiling back.

_Of course he does_.

I bit my lip, and probably turned 10 shades of red. I felt like I was 16 again – which is kind of a weird thing to say when you're almost 22 and not, say, 40 – but I did, and Edward was again my best friend and the subject of the biggest "teen crush" in history.

"So, uh… what did you get for horror?" I asked.

"The Exorcist."

I stopped short, turning to him with wide eyes. "What did I tell you about that movie, like 4 years ago?"

"I know, Bells, but give it a chance, it's really not _that_ scary," he said.

I shook my head and wiggled my finger in front of him, "I am never watching that movie in my life. The book was scary enough."

"You can't compare the book to the movie, it's not the same. Besides, I'll be there to make sure you're safe and not having a meltdown," he said, and narrowed the distance between us, kissing me sweetly. "Please?"

How could I have said no when he was looking down at me with those puppy dog green eyes hopefully?

I sighed. "Fine, we'll watch it, but we're keeping the lights on, and I reserve the right to hide under the TV blanket at any time."

I doubt if he was even listening; he was looking intently at my lips and had them pressed to his as soon as I was done talking.

"I'll take a quick shower and we'll start our date?" he asked, still cupping my face in his hands.

"Just one little thing I've been meaning to ask you, first," I said.

He let go of my face and looked at me curiously, nodding for me to go on.

"Did you come to the store today to flaunt our relationship to Jacob Black?"

He seemed taken aback by the question, then he looked contemplative, and finally he spoke in total confidence. "Absolutely."

I considered that for a moment. "Okay, then," I said lightly.

"Okay… what?" he seemed confused.

"That's fine," I said in the same tone.

"You're not mad?" his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"Not even a little."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Look, _someone_ had to put him in his place and show him he has no say in my life, and I'm glad you did. Besides, I kind of want the whole world to know that you're my boyfriend, right now," I smiled, enjoying the usage of the word.

He seemed a bit more relaxed now, and he pulled me in for a hug. "And you don't think I was being possessive over you?" he asked.

"Oh, you were totally being possessive," I said, and then turned my voice down a few octaves, saying against his ear, "And possessive is _hot_."

***

_About 70 minutes later_.

I was sitting fully in Edward's lap, my head buried in his neck and whimpering – and _not_ in a good way. He had his arms tightly wound around me, and he shook his head.

"Aren't you going to watch?" he asked, sounding slightly amused.

"No," I answered warily. "You're a mean, mean boy."

He chuckled. "I'm mean? How am I mean?"

"You're mean for making me watch this," I said, pouting into his neck.

"You haven't even watched most of the movie," he said, rightfully.

"How much longer?" I whined.

"Well… it is a two hour movie," he said, running one of his hands up my exposed outer thigh.

"I say we call it quits right now and go straight to the comedies," I suggested. "Please?"

"I don't know, Bells. I mean, I'm kind of enjoying your close proximity here," he said, and I looked at him just in time to catch his devious grin, as his hand reached further up my outer thigh, almost touching the waistband of my panties.

"Oh, my god," I said in shock. "You rented the Exorcist so you could grope me while I'm scared to death in your arms."

"Pretty much, yeah," he chuckled, and I hit him playfully on his arm, semi angry and semi flattered.

Suddenly the doorbell rung, making us both jump with startle.

"Is that Satan?" I asked with a frightened look.

"Not unless he's delivering us Chinese food. Just a minute!" he called out loud, moving me down from his lap and back to the couch, and got up.

I jumped up after him and grabbed his wrist between my hands. "You are _not_ leaving me here alone with demon girl," I said, stomping my bare foot on the carpet.

"You know there's actually an internet sex game called 'Demon Girl'?" he mused, taking his wallet out of his pocket.

"Edward!" I fumed, and he laughed.

"Come on, just hang on to me, yellowbelly," he said, and I clung to his arm, choosing to ignore the fact that he had just called me a coward.

After he paid the delivery guy, who looked at us like we were harebrained – probably because I wouldn't let go of Edward's arm, he finally agreed to stop being mean and stop the movie mid-way.

We enjoyed the loveliness of John Cleese, Terry Gilliam and the others, while we had our Chinese, sneaking glances and smiles at each other.

It reminded me so much of how we used to watch these movies and laugh, and recite parts that we knew by heart, and sing the songs – and I wondered if he was remembering the same things. Back then, he was completely oblivious to how I felt towards him, and now… now it was totally different.

Of course, he had no idea that I was head over heels for him, but we were together, and on a date, and I knew that he had some feelings for me as well. That made all the difference.

Later, we were cuddled up against each other in the dark, sharing a gallon of Chocolate-Chocolate Chip ice cream with two tea spoons, and watching 40 Days and 40 Nights.

It was a little uncomfortable at first, with all the talking about sex in the movie, and the unspoken awareness of the fact we weren't having sex, although we wanted to. Really, really wanted to. But then, as it started getting funnier, we loosened up a bit and laughed together, battling with our spoons over extra chocolate-chipy sections.

"I don't know what this guy is complaining about," Edward said halfway through the movie, and once we were too full to keep munching on the ice cream. "40 days without isn't that hard."

"Please," I snorted. "You think you can handle 40 days without?"

"I already have," he turned to me with narrowed eyes, and then looked back at the screen.

"Not after you had me," I said, wondering where the hell did that seductive tone came from.

His turned his head back to me in an instant, looking a bit shocked at first, but then letting his gaze wonder down on my body through hooded eyes, and back up to my face again. I felt an involuntary surge of wetness between my legs as he did, and I sat slightly up, my legs folded to my side on the couch.

"And you think you can handle going without sex for long after you had me?" he asked in a similar tone of voice.

I swallowed, unsure of myself but insisting on sounding like I was. "I was the one who said we should take things slow," I reminded him.

"See, but I think," he said, placing his hand on my knee and slowly tracing a circular pattern behind it, "That with the right kind of influence, you might break."

I looked up from his hand to his eyes, breathing in deep. "Y-You do?"

He nodded slowly, never breaking his voodoo magic stare at me, "I can be very persuasive."

God, he was turning me into butter. I had to regain some control here.

I smiled and leaned my elbow behind him on the couch, letting my hand glide into his hair and play with locks of it in a seemingly natural way. He _seemed_ impervious, but I heard his breath hitch. "Well, I think that with the right kind of _touch_, you just might be begging me for it."

It took him a moment, but finally he smiled back and shrugged. "Of course, we _are_ waiting because we both want to take things slow, so it doesn't really matter I guess."

"Yeah, you're right," I said, and we went back to watching the movie.

You might think that we were letting it go, but there was no chance in hell that was happening. What he was really saying, beneath the surface, is "we'll see who breaks the other first." And I said, "You're on."

_Bring it on_, I thought. '_Cause I am going to win this battle, whether we declared it out loud or not_.


	19. The Deed that Rhymes with Duck

_**A/N**__: First of all – thank you so much for bearing with me! Exams were hard, but I'm done with them (hopefully lol), thanks for wishing me good luck, everyone! You guys rock :). Super special thanks with whipped cream and a cherry: iwannabe, JannalovesJess, ThisChickRunsWithVampires, Astrid-Rosslyn-1720-Scotland, cam_illa, chewcui, bloftus, antariangirl93, Sherry80, angel-cordy, and as usual – __**Jerz darlin'**__._

_*Bloftus – well chemistry isn't so easy either! Besides, all of Candy readers have higher IQ, I checked ;)_

_This chapter is __**different**__… it doesn't have a flashback scene! Sorry if you're missing it, but none of my planned past events didn't fit here, and I didn't want to force it :) so past Edward/Bella will be back next chapter!_

_Love you for reading! Thanks a lot!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight._

* * *

**Chapter 19_:_ The Deed that Rhymes with Duck.  
**

You know how in movies, a girl meets a new guy and they go on a date, and then they linger at her front door just before the date is over? And there's that moment of thrilling expectation, where you don't know how the date is going to end – perhaps a kiss goodnight? Perhaps a friendly handshake? And of course, the chance that you'll end up doing the shebang-a-bang all night.

Well, this was the moment. Only I was standing outside my _bedroom_ door, in front of my _boyfriend_, and I knew exactly how this date is going to end. And it was not going to be rolling naked in the hay.

Edward was going to have to break first.

"So…" he said, looking everywhere but my direction.

I could never decipher his behavior; one moment he was _all man_, and then the next, he would act like a pubescent boy.

"Thanks for tonight," I said confidently, determined not to make this a conversation where we both say 'so…' until it's morning.

"It was pretty fun, wasn't it?" he looked up at me and smiled. He suddenly looked _all man_ again, and for a moment there I was having a flashback to the time when he took me right against my corridor wall.

"You're the best I've ever had," I said, looking at him from head to toe, and back to his eyes. Much like mine, they were smoldering.

_Out of the trance, Bella_, I mentally slapped myself back into consciousness.

"Of course, I've only had one other actual date in my life, and the guy was really fucking creepy. But out of the two – this date rocked," I laughed nervously.

I remembered that date as being the worst date in the history of the world. I mean, the guy asked me if I would like to go see his friend's _puppet show_ with him – and "do it backstage". And Jacob and I never really went out on date-dates. We would just hang out, mostly in his garage, or on the beach.

"Well, you've always attracted the creepy ones," he said, running a hand through his hair, the expression on his face unreadable. It was somewhere between amused and annoyed.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I stated. I had no memory of attracting any creepy guys besides _puppet show guy_, or attracting any other guys at all for that matter. Jacob, yes. Mike, briefly. But that was it.

He raised his eyebrows. "Mike Newton, Tyler Crowley, Eric Yorkie – they were all into you."

_Oh, right. Eric Yorkie_.

He used to follow me around classes and ask me if I wanted him to carry my books, or do an article on me for the school paper – which was probably the last thing on earth he would ask me if he actually knew a thing about me.

"Eric was not creepy; he was just a harmless geek. And Tyler was never _into_ me," I said.

"Yes he was, just like the rest of football team. Come to think of it, I don't think there was a guy in high school who wasn't captivated in the force of Bella – and by force, I mean hotness," he said with a sly smile.

Well, my _face_ turned hot in an instant, but I just ignored it and shook my head at his words.

"You're delusional," I said, smiling back. I had to take a deep breath to calm myself because of the way he was smiling at me. "But seriously, tonight was… really great," I said, determined to get off the subject.

"It was, but, umm…" he trailed off.

"But what?" I said slowly and gathered my eyebrows together, trying to think of a relevant _but_. I couldn't think of one.

He ran a hand through his hair again, and then those green eyes fell upon mine.

"Didn't it bother you?" he said, his voice intense. "That it was just sitting at home watching DVDs?"

I felt puzzled.

"Bother me? Why would that bother me?"

"Well, it's not exactly going out to Canlis," he now avoided my eyes, looking like he was ashamed of himself. Like he actually thought he did something wrong by not taking me to some fancy restaurant like stupid Canlis.

_Not this again_…

"Ugh, who _cares_ about Canlis?" I said, the slight anger in my voice making him look back at me again. _Good_.

And then he just… shrugged.

I sighed out loudly. "Just shut up about it before you ruin the end of our date," I said, crossing my hands against my chest. And I may have been pouting.

"You know… our date doesn't have to end right now," his speech suddenly took a lighter, more playful tone, catching me by surprise and forcing a small smile back on my face.

At least he wasn't talking about _money_ anymore.

"Are you saying you want me to go to your room with you?" I said, uncrossing my hands as he made a move to get a little closer to me.

"I'm saying that I'll let you _come_ with me… to my room, if you ask nicely enough."

He had me there for a second, when he put his emphasis on the word _come_ – which was what I knew would definitely happen if I went to his room right now – but when he told me to ask nicely, he completely gave away his intentions. Winning.

"Too bad I don't fuck on first dates, huh?"

He smirked and sent his hand to my face. My breath hitched slightly as he brushed the back of his fingers against my cheek and forward to tuck my hair behind my ear.

"So many rules in the world of Bella Swan," he said in a low voice. The _seductive_ voice. "Don't you ever feel like tossing rules aside? Doing what you obviously, desperately want?" he said slowly, accentuate every single word. He was releasing the full force of his eyes on me, and I felt entranced again. Thank god his hand wasn't caressing my face anymore, or I'd be doomed.

_Oh god, so desperately._

_Wait, what? No. I'm not desperate._

"I ate the ice cream, didn't I?" I countered, my voice sounding raspy.

He shook his head. "Wrong rule to break, love."

I bit my lip at the sound of that last word. The one he'd said to me many times, but always in bed. Or on the carpet. Wherever we were having sex.

_It means nothing, Bella_, a voice in the back of my head spoke. _Now focus_.

"And how is that?" I asked.

"You could be having something much more satisfying than Chocolate-Chocolate Chip ice cream," he said with that arrogant smirk on his face, and his finger trailing on the side on my body, on my dress. "And you haven't felt satisfied in a long time, have you?"

And just when I thought I was going to give in to his touch, I thought of the perfect counter-strike. Something he would probably spend the whole nightthinkingabout.

"Actually, last night in my bed I did," I said, moving away from him and further towards my door, squeezing the knob to open it. "All on my own."

I swear I saw his eyes pop out before he composed himself. It was a complete and utter lie, but he couldn't know I was actually in bed reading Austen.

"Where are you going?" he asked when I took a step into my room. I thought leaving him there, wanting more, would probably give me an edge in this contest.

"I'm going in my room," I stopped short to say, turning to fully face him.

"Aren't you gonna let me kiss you goodnight?"

That one took my by surprise.

"K-Kiss me goodnight?" I asked.

"Uh-huh," he nodded slowly.

"On the forehead?" I asked, fully knowing that's not what he meant, but hoping it was. I didn't think I could handle the temptation in his kiss right in front of our bedrooms, at night, when I was feeling so goddamn horny for him.

"On the lips."

_God, he makes _lips_ sound so sexy_._ Maybe just one tiny kiss…_

"No!" I said, surprised us both.

"No?" he repeated, raising his eyebrows.

I shook my head furiously. I would not give in. Especially not on the first night of the battle.

"You're twelve," he said warily.

"I am aware of that," I replied truthfully.

He looked pensive for a moment before he spoke. "Okay," he finally said.

_What? He's really going to let me get away with this?_

I narrowed my eyes. "Really?"

"Yes, have it your way. I won't kiss you…" he said, taking a few short strides toward me slowly. Then, suddenly, he wrapped one hand around me and pulled me roughly against him, eliciting a very loud gasp from my lips.

I thought he was going to kiss me, but like he said – he didn't.

"I won't grasp your face in my hands," he said as his fingers traced down the line of my jaw softly, barely even touching it. I swallowed hard.

"…I won't," he tilted his head and moved closer until his lips hovered over mine, making my instinctively close my eyes, "press my lips to yours," he whispered, his sweet air penetrating through my lips and causing me to feel lightheaded. "Or slide my tongue into your mouth to taste yours..."

"…I won't run my hand down your beautiful body," his hand ghosted slowly down my neck and over the curve of my breast, making me shiver from the barely-there touch, as his forehead pressed onto mine. I opened my eyes to look at him. He looked like the sexiest thing I'd ever seen in my life, his eyes wild and dancing between mine.

Then he moved his mouth to my ear and whispered, "and I won't fucking tear that dress off, back you up to your bed and have my way."

My mouth opened, but luckily, I was able to repress the moan that threatened to slip out, along with a begging plea that he does all those things, and now.

"Good night," he said, and took a few steps back, smirking as he went, until he disappeared into his own room.

I closed the door of my bedroom and wobbled dazed, and soaking wet, to sit on my bed.

_What just happened?_

_What just happened is your move perfectly backfired, that's what happened, _a voice within me answered.

***

I stared at the ceiling of my bedroom in the dark with terror.

It's been three fucking hours since I changed out of my dress and lied on my bed, and ever since I forced myself not to think about Edward and his sex eyes, all I could think about was that fucking scary movie.

The house was making cracking and crackling noises, ones that I tried to convince myself were merely noises made by the wind, or my barely working fridge, or old wood.

_Stupid Edward and his stupid movie,_ I sighed angrily.

Another noise sounded, making me squeal for a slight second, and grab onto my covers, hiding my entire body up to my terrified eyes.

_Oh god, what was that?_

I got up from my bed and marched right out of my room and right into Edward's room.

Even though I made an effort to make a loud noise when closing his door, he was still sound asleep, which irritated me to no end. Here he was, sleeping like a baby while I was cornered by satanic forces in my bed.

"Edward… Edward? _Edward_!" I stood by his bed and called.

"What? Yeah- what?" he woke up with a startle, turning around in his bed to look at me. His hair was standing in every direction adorably – or sexily, I couldn't decide.

"Good, you're awake," I smiled sweetly. "I couldn't sleep either."

He scoffed. "I could sleep just fine before you came in my room wearing a nightgown and… wearing a nightgown," he trailed off as his eyes fell on my little black satin nighty that I wore mostly when my other pajamas were in the laundry. I chose to ignore that and keep ranting.

"This is all your fault. I told you I shouldn't watch that movie!"

"You didn't watch that movie," he said, closing his eyes again and getting ready to fall back asleep.

"Move over, I'm sleeping here," I said, making him open his eyes widely at me.

"In that?"

"Edward, come on, I'm cold!"

"Well, that's not exactly a _sweater_," he grunted. I stomped my feet until he moved over to allow me to climb up his bed. "Fine, fine, get in."

I grinned widely and got in, excited to finally be able to get some sacred sleep.

"You checked for demons under the bed first, right?" I asked as he helped me under the covers. I got a nice glimpse at his nearly nude body when he did, which was _already_ enough for me to forget all about that horrid movie.

"Of course," he said, making me chuckle.

We lied side by side, both of us facing the ceiling quietly, until I spoke.

"Aren't you going to… you know, cuddle me? Or something?"

"Nope," he said.

I turned to him and pouted. "Why not?"

"Cause then I'll get a really good view into your nighty. And don't do the pout."

_Oh, come on._

"Since when do you mind?" I said, and kept pouting.

"I'm trying to respect your rules, as always," he replied, a bit bitterly, I might say.

"You are not getting away with your boyfriend cuddling duties just so you can w-" I stopped mid-sentence as I realized I was about to give away the fact that _I_ was trying to win a contest.

"Yes?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"…Just because we mutually agreed to wait," I corrected myself.

He snorted at said correction. "Well, you didn't want to kiss me. Wouldn't you say kissing is a girlfriend duty?" he said, and I detected a note of insult in his voice.

_I guess that _was_ kind of immature._

"I'm sorry, baby," I said with a small smile, and scooted closer to him while placing small kisses on his neck and the line of his jaw.

"I've been a bad girlfriend," I mumbled as I climbed on top of him and kissed his neck again, open mouthed kisses this time.

He groaned deeply and moved his hand to rest on the silky material of my nightgown for only one second before pulling it away.

Okay, so maybe making out with him on his bed would make it _a little bit_ harder to maintain self control, but it didn't matter. There was game stuff, and there was relationship stuff, and I wasn't intending on letting some stupid bet make Edward feel like he wasn't wanted.

When I moved up to face him and brought my mouth closer to his, he put a finger on my lips.

"No, you're pity kissing me," he said.

I laughed out. If he only knew how badly I wanted him. "Trust me. I am not pity kissing you. Now shut up and get on top of me," I asked, surprising even myself with how desperate I sounded – and I _was_ desperate, to feel his body on mine.

He didn't hesitate for a second; he sunk his fingers in my hips and rolled us over until he was on top and in control. Then he claimed my lips with his, kissing my fiercely while his hand cupped my breast firmly through the satin, and continued its way down, and up again.

I returned his kiss just as enthusiastically, feeling almost unable to restrain myself as my hands darted out in the darkness to reach his hair, his face, his body – everywhere.

We breathed heavily into the kiss, crushing our bodies together like a couple of crazy people. We were definitely on some edge, and tittering on it, fully aware that the only things keeping our bodies from gloriously reuniting were 2 pieces of fabric and a bet.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he reached his hand up my thigh and to my ass, squeezing it and helping my grind myself onto him. My lips automatically broke from his to let out a throaty moan.

"Anything you want to ask of me?" he said through shallow, heavy breaths. His eyes were gleaming, and he was fucking _smirking_ at me.

_Fuck, Yes._

"No," I replied so huskily it didn't even sound believable, and he pulled me in for another kiss.

I sneaked my hand between us and gripped his erection, stroking it gently, and waiting to hear him groan before I breathlessly asked, "Anything you want to ask me?"

He just shook his head and pulled the strap of my nightgown down, covering my pert nipple with his mouth softly, and flicking his tongue against it.

"Oh god," I threw my head back and my lips parted as I gasped the words.

Before I would lose every shred of control, I pulled him back up to kiss him, trying to slow down our pace – which wasn't too hard, since it seemed like he was trying to do the same thing.

We kept kissing and caressing each other, moving in slower velocity for what seemed like long minutes. Which we realized were not really long minutes – more like a little over an hour – when Edward's bedside alarm clock made a low beeping sound (by that point, I was on lying top of him). We both looked at the clock, and then stared at each other with shock.

"5am? It's 5am?" Edward asked.

"Uh… I guess so," I said, offering an apologetic half-smile.

"You do realize that I get up at five thirty?"

"I didn't even feel the time go by," I said with astonishment, sitting up.

"I'm going to fall asleep on my desk at work… and this is entirely your fault – you, and that skimpy little nightgown," he grunted, moving his hand through his hair in frustration. "I mean, is that even legal to wear?"

"Hey, you were really loving that nightgown like 5 seconds ago," I reminded him, shifting myself to sit next to him. "Besides, you were the one who got that movie. I didn't get any sleep either."

He sighed out.

"You are the most exhausting woman I have ever met," he said, looking directly at me. "Come back here," he pulled at my hand, knocking my balance and making me land half on top of him.

"I thought I was exhausting," I said teasingly as I climbed back on top of him, lying flush against him.

"Exhaustingly _sexy_," he corrected with a chuckle. "We've got half an hour, we might as well use it," he said, and pressed his lips to mine again.

***

I sat on a stool behind the counter at the empty book store, waiting for customers to arrive – even though it was that time of morning when no one came in. I was also waiting for Jacob, and can't say I was looking forward to it.

He was being really difficult about Edward and me, and for no good reason. Yes, we used to be together, and we fought countless times because of the fact that I was actually in love with Edward – but now, we weren't even friends, and he had no right to pass judgment on my love life. Especially not when I'm practically half asleep since I pulled an all-nighter last night. Even coffee this morning didn't help.

I lifted my head up when the little bell at the door chimed, expecting to see him walking in with a sulky scowl on his face. But no Jacob.

For a moment there, I think I actually fooled myself into imagining it was Edward entering the store – shirtless – going across the counter, lifting me up from my feet, and carrying me bridal style to the back to have passionate sex.

_Wait. That's definitely not Edward. Edward is much taller._

"Goooood morning," Alice waltzed into the store with a smile, hung her coat on a rack and put her bag away, before finally catching sight of me and gasping.

_Huh. I wonder where Jacob is _this _time. Not that I mind._

"Oh my god, you look awful," she said, leaning towards me from across the counter with worried eyes.

"Thanks dear, I appreciate that," I said dryly.

"Seriously, look at the little baggies under your eyes," she moved her finger around the area. "You know, a cucumber mask would do you wonders for that."

Alice really had a thing for facial masks, or better yet – making homemade facial masks. I still remembered that time in college when she made me an avocado mask and left it in our mini-fridge, only to find that her boyfriend at the time thought it was guacamole and ate it. In fact, that might just be the reason she broke up with the poor guy.

"A shot of caffeine will do better wonders," I said, picturing the triple sized cappuccino I was going to have on my break.

"Have you not slept the entire night?" she asked, and I shook my head. "Bells, I know how things can get exciting in the beginning of a relationship, but you can't make yourself tired all day at work just because you want to do the nasty all night long."

I laughed humorlessly. "That's just the thing. I wasn't. Edward and I are taking it slow, so we're not."

"Really?" she asked. "Huh… That's interesting," she mused.

"What's interesting? Alice, I'm dying. Slowly, and painfully," I buried my head between my hands in desperation. I was hallucinating shirtless Edward, for God's sake.

"I'm just wondering how long you two would last," she said with amusement, and I looked back up at her.

"That's another thing. We kind of have this unspoken bet – which one of us can last longer without…"

"Playing hide the Cannoli?"

"Making the beast with two backs," I nodded.

"Do you guys really have to turn everything into games?" she rolled her eyes at me.

"Hey, he started it. He said he could go a long time without having sex with me, and now I have to get back at him by making him beg for it," I crossed my arms against my chest childishly.

"I can only imagine in what ways _that's_ backfiring right about now," she chuckled to herself.

"Oh, you have no idea," I said, sounding like an addict who's waiting on her next fix. "He is too good at this game. God, he's good. Last night… he didn't kiss me."

"I'm… confused," she said. "How is that being good?"

"And then, at night, he did kiss me. He kissed me for an hour and a half!"

"So first he didn't kiss you – and that made you want to sleep with him, and then he did kiss you – and that made you want to sleep with him?" she asked slowly, trying to comprehend my backwards logic.

I nodded. She got it perfectly right. No matter what he did, I wanted him, and this bet was _killing_ me.

"I have an idea," she said.

"Ooh, that's good! If we think of a plan for me, then I can-"

"No, I'm not going to help you with your juvenile games. But I am going to help you blow out a little steam. Let's go on a double date!" she said, her eyes gleaming.

"What?" I asked in disappointment.

"Yes, a double date would be perfect! Think about it. It would be the perfect thing to distract you from wanting to jump Edward's bones, and we'll all get to spend some time together. And Jasper and him already like each other, being cousins and everything, so we'll have no troubles there, and-"

"Okay! Okay. We'll go on a double date," I said, just to shut her up. I noticed she was about to squeal and jump up and down, so I added, "_If_ Edward agrees."

And then she squealed, and jumped up and down. "I can't _wait_!"

"Well, actually, I do want to get to know this Jasper guy who got you all hooked up on him," I grinned to her.

"You can't deny that the sexy genes run in that family," she giggled.

"Edward is adopted," I reminded her, although not disagreeing with her.

"Still," she shrugged, making me laugh.

"So how come you're here and not Jacob? Not that I don't thank goodness you are," I said, yawning and stretching.

"Had to cover for him since he's gone a-wall again. He's giving you a hard time about Edward?"

"That's an understatement. I think he has his mind set on breaking us up – not that _that's_ going to happen. Which is why I'm wondering what's up with all these strange disappearances. You'd think he'd be here now, dedicating his entire shift to tell me how wrong Edward is for me."

"That is weird," she said, her eyebrows pulling together. "But at least you get me instead, and we get to have a 7 hour girl talk," she said excitedly.

"And you can help me figure out how to win this contest."

"Bells, why don't you just do him? You give up on this silly competition, you get to have sex with Edward – everybody's a winner."

"Yeah, except me, who is the loser" I said. There was no way I was giving up. I had a point to prove – I was just as resistant as Edward was. "Come on, Alice, you have to volunteer your master mind to help me on this."

"Fine, fine. But remember, Bells – you play with fire, you get burnt."

And for some reason, all I could think about was the rug-burn I got every time that Edward and I did it on my living room carpet.


	20. The Best Friend

_**A/N**__: Okay. So, I'm not going to try and tell you that next time the update will be faster, 'cause I kind of don't think you'll buy it, lol. Still, I'm sorry it sometimes takes me long, but I do intend on getting every chapter as fast as humanly possible! Hope you'll enjoy it anyway!_

_Another thing – I detected a mistake that I'd made. On chapter 6, I wrote Jasper only knew Edward from college, and later on I wrote that they were cousins. So… Oops, my bad. They are cousins, but Jasper didn't know Bella since he wasn't living in Forks at the time. And sorry for mixing things up!_

_Thank you for all your amazing, astonishing compliments! I was so thrilled!_

_If you feel like reviewing for this chapter as well, why don't you tell me what your favorite part of the chapter was? :) thank you so much for reading! And btw – this chapter has quite a few POV switches, so I hope you won't find it annoying!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight._

* * *

**Chapter 20: The Best Friend.**

_Edward's POV:_

_Four years ago, La Push reservation._

I decided to skip the first period of school, and go down to the reservation to talk to Jacob Black. After last night, when Bella had dinner at my house, I knew I had to fight. Especially since it was almost graduation.

Bella fit so well in my family, like she actually considered them her own family, and loved them like they were her own family. She belonged with me, not with him, and he had to know that. The way our conversation flew so naturally during dinner, and after dinner while sitting on my porch… Jacob could never have that with Bella. No one but me could.

And she'd made that clear when she said, "I'll never have a friend like you."

Besides, I thought I'd felt a definite tension between us. Even if she didn't feel the same as I did right now, she could open her eyes. I could make her open her eyes, and see that we fit together so well. I could make her give us a chance. The only thing that was in the way was…

"Black," I said as I caught sight of him, standing with one of his lame-ass friends next to their motorcycles outside school.

He tensed up as he saw me. I stood where I was, because I wanted him to come to me. This was personal.

"Be right back, Quil," he said and walked towards me slowly. "What are you doing here, Cullen?"

"I'm here to let you know one thing," I said.

"I'm listening," he said, smirking arrogantly as he always did.

"You were right. I am after her," I said.

"I know. Doesn't mean anything," he shrugged. "She'll never be with you."

"That's where you're wrong," I said. "See, Bella and I… we're like nothing you've ever seen. She tells me things she would never even think about telling you."

"Yeah, well, I know quite a few things that you don't," he said.

I scoffed. He was a fucking liar.

"You might be her boyfriend, but I know her better than anyone. I'm her best friend. You aren't."

"There'll come a time when she'll have to choose between her _friend_ and her _boyfriend_," he seethed.

"That's right. And when she has to choose… she'll choose me," I countered, and watched his hands curl into angry fists.

He took a step towards me and looked at me gravely, "and what makes you think that, Cullen?"

"It's my name she says in her sleep," I said in a low voice and smug smile.

I knew how much it would hurt for him to hear, but I didn't quite expect his reaction.

He punched me once in the gut, surprising me and making me crimp and hiss. That fucking hurt, but I guess I deserved it. I would've done the same. I pushed him away from me with a groan, and caught a look of regret on his face.

Two of his friends came approaching, ready to jump me and probably beat the hell out of me, but Black stopped them with his hands.

"Don't," he said. "Just- Just… get out of here, Cullen."

I looked at him, wondering if I should really go or punch him back. I decided to get back to my car. First, because Bella saying my name in her sleep was probably more painful than any punch I could give him, and secondly, because he had big fucking friends, and there were more than just the two – I'd seen them around town.

"Hey," he said as I was walking towards my car, and I turned around. "Just so you know… I don't fight fair."

I stood there for a moment, wondering what he'd meant by that.

"Neither do I," I finally decided, and kept walking.

_And we'll see who wins that fight._

****************

_Today, our apartment in Seattle._

_Bella's POV:_

"So what do you say?" I asked Edward, not sure of the answer I wanted. I wasn't really the double-date type of person, after all.

"That's an easy one. I say nope," he replied.

_Alice would be upset. I'll have to hear about it all day at work tomorrow. I'll make myself a double-date person to avoid going through _that_._

"Please, Edward? I promised Alice we'd go."

"Bells, I just came home from the busiest day at work I've ever had, after barely getting any sleep last night, not to mention my balls are still blue," he said, causing me to giggle at the last part of sentence. I can't say I was entirely displeased with his condition. It was only a matter of time before he broke. "And now my girl is laughing at me. Great."

"Aww," I put my arms around him, smiling a little smile, and began to shower his faces with slow kisses. "Well, we don't have to go. We can stay home and take care of," I looked down between us, and then back at his eyes. "What needs to be taken care of. All you have to do is just… ask."

He pulled his face slightly back to gaze at me warily for a long moment.

"We'll go," he said.

I grinned widely, content about the fact that he agreed to go (okay, more about the fact that he seemed to be struggling in this game just as much as I was), and pecked his lips sweetly. "Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah. Go get dressed, I'll talk to Jazz," he said, pulling away entirely from the embrace.

He mumbled something as I walked out of the kitchen. Unless my hearing was deteriorating at the ripe age of almost 22, it was something along the lines of, "Evil woman."

***

I was getting dressed in my room after a quick shower, when Edward came in so he can take a shower as well. As I put on some light makeup in front of my vanity mirror, I listened to the sounds coming from inside the bathroom.

Particularly, the sound of his clothes dropping to the floor, item by item. I could picture him getting undressed, revealing his muscular form – the one I was longing to get my hands on at the moment. I could hear a small sigh he made before opening the door of the shower, stepping in, and closing it. After that, he turned on the water.

After a few moments of waiting (because frankly, my boiler sucked), I imagined right about then he was standing under the stream of the water, getting all wet; picking up the shampoo and running his lathered hands on each part of his body attentively. God, I wished mine were there instead. I'd move them along his the smooth muscles of his arms and chest, and then attacking his lips impatiently – because I was so damn impatient.

The fantasies continued playing out in my head, so I didn't even notice when the water stopped, until I heard Edward call my name from the bathroom. I realized I'd been frozen on the spot in front of my mirror, eyeliner in hand, yet not applying it. Just thinking about Edward and his shower.

"What?" I called back, shaking my head to let the fantasies out and the real thoughts in.

"Can you get me a towel?" he asked.

_Oh god, he's naked in there._

_Of course he's naked, he was taking a shower. And it's not anything you haven't seen, fangirl._

"There are towels in the cupboard," I said.

"Yeah, but I want a fresh one. From the dryer. Please?" he asked.

Edward liked to use towels straight out of the dryer, while they're still warm and fuzzy. Lucky for him, a laundry machine and dryer were two items Charlie insisted I had to have. He didn't want me to "go to Laundromats so creeps can look at me load a machine of underwear".

"Yeah, okay," I said, dropping the eyeliner in the drawer and going to get him a towel.

When I came back, I opened the bathroom door just enough so he can take the towel, but he suddenly pulled the door open all the way. So there I was, standing in front of _completely_ _naked_ Edward with my jaw dropped and holding a towel in my hand.

"Thanks," he said with a smile.

I didn't hand him the towel just yet – I just stood there. My eyes raked shamelessly over every inch of bare, dripping wet skin (and there were a lot of inches to look at), scanning him from head to toe and back a few times.

…_Perfection._

Wet naked Edward I imagined? Completely underrated. Reality was so much better.

"Bella, breathe," he said, chuckling. His hair was in his face in the most delicious of ways.

I inhaled deeply, realizing I really did kind of forget to breathe for a moment there. How fucking embarrassing is that?

I handed him his towel wordlessly, still obviously staring at him. I couldn't even bring myself to say something about it, or look away. I was too busy trying to hold myself back from pouncing while he was drying himself. I could just tell him to forget about the bet and have amazing shower sex with him.

"You look great," he said sincerely as he wrapped the towel around his waist, gesturing with his head towards my outfit.

I'd worn a top and a skirt with high boots – an outfit that I thought might get a reaction out of him. What I didn't expect was for him to use the ultimate weapon. His nakedness.

"T-thank you," I muttered.

He immediately narrowed the distance between us – making me take a sharp intake of breath filled with his scent as he did – cupped one side of my face in his hand, and kissed me.

I moved my lips against his, starting to really get caught up in the kiss, but he cut it short.

"Just give me five minutes and I'm ready," he said with a sweet, innocent smile and kissed my forehead before he left.

_Bastard_, my sexual frustration growled internally.

***

_Edward's POV:_

My God, that was payback.

That was one great payback, too. First she appears at my bedside wearing nothing but a tiny piece of satin, then she shanghais me into a fucking teenage make out session that left me pretty much with a constant hard-on, and then before – when she smugly suggested to "take care of my problem".

I swear that woman wanted me checked into a mental facility.

And she was going to break me. Especially last night.

I remember at one point touching her side through her nightgown – almost as high up as her breasts – and immediately regretting it and pulling my hand away. I knew her skin would feel even silkier than the satin, and it did.

Then she started kissing me. After fucking _refusing_ to kiss me beforehand, driving me crazy in all _kinds_ of levels, she was now kissing me – nearly nude, in my bed, at night, after waking me up from a very nice dream about her. And it felt a little like she was hesitant to do so. I told her she was pity kissing me, but she just laughed it off in an honest matter.

And then she says, "Now shut up and get on top of me", like she was fucking _pleading_ me. I nearly lost it.

So I did the only thing I could do; what I was told. Like I said – shanghaied by my girl. She was right. I wasn't strong enough to handle being away from her for so long. Not when I felt this way about her. I couldn't get her out of my mind, and there was this constant attraction, desire.

And there was another thing. I knew that once Bella and I were in bed together again, it would slip out.

_I love you_.

It nearly did last time, in Forks. I was fucking shaking with the intensity of emotions. I realized she had taken over me entirely. I was hers; I loved her like I wouldn't ever love any other woman. Couldn't. I had to hold myself back from blurting it out, so I needed to hear her. I needed for her to say she was mine as well.

So I knew that next time, I might not be able to hold back. And although it needed to be said – for _years_ it needed to be said – I had no idea how she would react. She had said she loved me in her sleep before, but this was different. We were together now, and she wanted to take things slow. I understood what she meant. She didn't want to get hurt, and I didn't want to hurt her. Things get complicated when you have sex, but things get more complicated when you tell someone how you feel.

It really was inevitable, though.

All I could do was my best not to tell her just yet, and my best to break her before I broke.

If only she was significantly less tempting – maybe then it would seem like a doable task.

***

_Bella's POV:_

We were sitting at the movie theatre like so. I was sitting between Edward and Alice, and Jasper was sitting next to Alice. We got a popcorn bucket per couple and a soda for each of us, and we were waiting for the commercials to end and movie to start.

"So what's this movie about again?" Alice asked with a semi-repulsed look.

She really hated action movies, for some reason. But she said she wanted to go to "whatever movie Jasper picks", so it was her problem, really. They were disgusting. I mean, their cuteness was disgusting. They were the greatest match for a couple I'd ever seen. They looked at each other like they were standing in front of a priest and 500 guests, ready to tie the knot forever.

I wasn't too surprised, though. I could tell how much she liked him from the way she talked about him, and frankly, I liked Jasper the bartender guy. He was a cool guy. Like a southern gentleman mixed with an urban bad boy.

"It's about this doctor guy who performs an experiment that goes wrong, and –"

"Jasper, allow me," I interrupting him once I saw the look on her face. "It's a love story, really," I told Alice, eliciting a chuckle from Edward's side. "This doctor guy is being hunted down by a man, and he's in love with his daughter."

"Aw, I _love_ impossible love stories!" she said excitedly, and then started chatting up Jasper about some movie.

I turned to Edward and whispered, "mission accomplished."

"She's going to hate you later, you know."

"Oh yeah, I know. At least I have you and Jasper as buffers," I grinned at him, pleased with the comfortable close proximity of our faces.

"Hey, I'm not getting in the line of fire when Alice is the attacker," he said.

I smacked his bicep playfully, taken aback for a moment from how hard it felt. "It's your job to protect me, Edward."

"Well, in that case, I am seriously underpaid," he laughed softly.

"What exactly are you implying?" I asked, faking outrage.

"Let's just say that you're not exactly stable when you walk. Or stand. Or sit. You basically can't do anything without getting yourself injured."

"Hey, that is not… entirely true. And I know _one_ thing I can do without getting injured," I said huskily, turning his facial expression serious as his eyes bore into mine for a moment. Just then, the lights dimmed.

"Trailers starting," Alice stated, turning our attention back to the screen.

Though my attention wasn't exactly paid to the screen or the trailers. I was very much aware of the person sitting next to me, and to the pleading of my body to be closer to his. And I could tell his body was tensed as well.

The moment the movie started, Alice and Jasper were immediately all over each other, making out like the world was ending tomorrow. I sighed out and rolled my eyes in annoyance.

I had to sit there for the entire length of the movie, hearing their lips smacking and cursing myself for getting into this stupid contest. At least Edward seemed just as uncomfortable.

Not to mention how awkward it was during the love scene. Not only because it was intensely hot (but enough about my Edward Norton obsession), it was freaking perfect; two people feeling immense passion and wanting to have delicious sex with each other – but can't. Can't you just feel the goddamn irony?

"So, great movie, huh?" Jasper said as we left the theatre and started heading towards a Chinese place.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Edward asked in a frustrated tone.

"What?" he asked, like he had no idea what Edward was talking about.

"You really think we didn't see and hear you just because it was dark?" I said raising an eyebrow at Alice – who, for once, blushed deeply.

"I don't like action movies," she mumbled.

"They're just jealous, baby," he said, and kissed her hand, which was in his. "You know, since they're not doing it."

I looked at Alice, wide eyed. "You _told_ him?"

"_You_ told _her_?" Edward asked me in the same manner.

"Girls talk," I said, shrugging, and turned back to Alice. "What's _your_ excuse?"

"I'm sorry, Bells. I physically can't keep stuff from Jazz," she said, with an apologetic look on her face.

"Well, just for your information," Edward said to them, throwing his arm around my shoulders. "I don't care."

I gave him a curious look. So did Alice and Jasper.

"I don't. I'll wait, if it means I get to have Bella as my girlfriend," he smiled brightly at me.

"Aww," I heard Alice say.

I narrowed my eyes at him while smiling back, trying to figure out if he was being sweet, or trying to let me know he wasn't at all close to losing the bet.

When he bent down to kiss me, I decided on the first. He was definitely being sweet.

We sat down at one of the tables at the Chinese restaurant, and… they were at it again.

"Hey, will you two cut that out? It's embarrassing," I said. They stopped kissing and started going over their menus.

"Fine. I can see _someone_ is frustrated," she bit back.

I glared at her. She was so not helping me.

Besides, it was time to put the plan in motion. Alice and I have thought of a few little tricks that might get _Edward_ nice and frustrated.

First of all, there was the little item I picked up that afternoon. It was the cheap kind, but I figured – what the heck.

Garters. I wore a little black lacey garter on each of my thighs.

And of course, I had to make sure Edward would see them. He was sitting next to me, so I deliberately dropped my spoon (I still needed my fork) under the table, faking surprise.

"Damn," I said, reaching for the spoon, but knowing Edward wouldn't let me pick it up – he'd want to do it for me.

"Let me," he said, moved his chair back and reached down for the spoon. Once he was looking down, I crossed my legs while using my hand to casually lift the hem of my skirt up, just enough for him to see the item of surprise.

He banged his head on the table – which I didn't see coming, but at least I knew it worked.

"Are you okay?" I asked in sincere concern.

"Yeah. Fine," he said, and came back up from under the table with spoon in hand and the other hand on his head.

"You sure, man? That sounded painful," Jasper said, although he looked somewhat amused.

"It was," he groaned, looking at me warily so I'd understand the double meaning of his statement.

"I'm sorry, baby," I said, and acted out the next step of the make-Edward-want-me-so-bad-that-he-cries plan… I rested my hand on his thigh and gave it a little squeeze, all the while keeping the sympathetic look on my face. His thigh jumped up, and his whole body tensed.

"Not your fault," he said, clearing his throat.

He looked… red. I was pleased. Except for the head bump thing, that was a bad side effect.

Alice and I shared a smirk for a moment, but composed ourselves before the boys could notice.

Next, Alice and I "spontaneously" decided to share a strawberry and whipped cream dessert together.

But before the dessert even arrived, something else arrived. More precisely – _someone_.

"Edward Cullen and Jasper Hale," she stated, standing in front of Alice and I, smiling widely. "Been a while."

"Tanya," Jasper said, looking surprised as heck.

"Tanya?" Alice and I both mouthed to each other at the same time.

She had a model's name. And she probably was a model. She was the most gorgeous strawberry blonde with perfect body proportions wrapped in a purple dress and extended by legs that went as high as… me.

I looked at Edward just in time to see his face drain of all color. And once I'd seen that, my face did the same.

"That is I. What's going on with you, boys?" she asked.

Edward didn't say a word, just gazed at some random spot on the table, with the same grave look.

"Not too bad," Jasper said, offering her a smile. "These are Alice and Bella," he gestured towards each of us, "Our girlfriends. This is Tanya," he said to us.

"Pleasure to meet you," she said with a raised eyebrow, but the smile never came off her face.

"I'm sorry, who are you to Edward and Jasper?" I asked, hoping I wasn't being too impolite. Ah, screw it. I didn't give a shit about being polite.

"She's –" Edward started, but she beat him to it.

"I'm Edward's best friend, from college."

_His… what?_

I looked at Edward, but I felt a little nauseated, so I looked at my plate instead, nodding. My mind was… blank. My heart, on the other hand, was full. Full of little metal pieces that broke off from the knife that was stabbing at it.

"We used to hang out all the time, with Emmett as well. How's Emmett?" she asked, completely unaware of my reaction.

"Emmett is the usual Emmett, you know," Jasper said, and I felt three pairs of eyes on me.

She nodded. "Edward, are you like, ever going to talk? How've you been? You haven't-" she started.

"I'm good," he cut her off in a chilly voice. "Bella, can I talk to you outside? Please?"

"Yeah," I barely managed to say and got up, going outside without waiting for him and on the way, catching Alice's mortified look.

_Edward's POV:_

Once we were outside, Bella started walking towards our apartment. I guess she wouldn't go back inside with Tanya there.

I followed her, trying to halt her to a stop unsuccessfully. So I just kept walking beside her.

She was upset. I guess I never did tell her about Tanya, but it was only because I had a feeling she would react like this. Still, I should've told her. I just wished I could read her mind and see what she was thinking about the whole situation.

"Bella. Tell me what you're thinking," I asked.

"I don't know what I'm thinking," she answered. "Who's... _Tanya_?" she asked, pronouncing the name with slight repulsion.

"She's a friend of mine from college. A good friend," I said, because I never did refer to her as my 'best friend from college'.

We used to hang out a lot, and she really did understand me – she was very supportive about the 'mystery girl who got away' (I never actually told her Bella's name). She was the only girl I found remotely interesting enough to hang out with during college.

"Okay," was the only thing Bella said.

I tried figuring out what to say to make her keep talking, but she spoke again.

"Did anything ever happy between you and her?" she asked. That caught me by surprise. I don't know why I never saw the question coming. "Got it," she said, coming to her own misguided conclusions.

"No. No," I shook my head. "We just… we _almost_ kissed once. Emmett interrupted."

"Well, that was rude of him, then," she said in a flat tone, staring blankly at the distance.

She was shutting me out, and I hated it.

"Bells," I said, and grasped her arm gently to stop her. This time she stood in place, as my eyes silently pleaded her to get mad at me, do anything but shut me out.

"What?" she said in a small voice, her eyes softening.

"What are you thinking?" I asked again.

"You really want to know?" she asked, and for a moment I was truly afraid of what she was going to say.

"Yes," I said confidently despite my hesitations.

"I'm thinking I feel replaced," she said, not looking anywhere _near_ eyes anymore.

My heart dropped. I didn't know who to feel worse for – her, for feeling like that, or me, for having to hear the woman I exist for say that she thinks I had replaced her.

"Bells, come on. You had Alice, didn't you say she was the female me?" I asked.

"That's different," she said, a bit angrily now. At least she was responding to me.

"Why?" I asked. And I honestly didn't know how that was any different. She had a new friend in college, and so did I.

"Because you were the one who cut me out!" she said, like the line was waiting to burst out of her since our last argument about this.

"What?" I asked, standing in confusion in front of her.

"You cut me out of your life, and then you got a new girl to replace me," she said.

And it hurt like fucking hell to hear.

She had no idea why I cut her out of my life, and what I had to go through after I did. I was miserable. I was alive only in theory. Only physically. I needed someone to talk to – and I couldn't really talk to the guys about "feelings". And now she thought I had _replaced_ her, and I couldn't explain all this to her, because that would mean admitting to her that I'm in love with her, and have been since high school.

"No. Bella – no," I shook my head, and I saw guilt in her eyes as she looked into mine.

"I'm trying so hard not to think like that, but I can't help it," she said. "And I don't know what I did for you to _do_ that to me."

I closed my eyes for a few seconds, wishing I could fucking just take back everything that I had ever done to elicit the broke look on her face right now.

"I'm sorry for what happened back then," I said, opening my eyes. "And for hurting you, but Tanya is _not_ your replacement. She's not you. God, Bella, how can anyone ever be you?"

I heard her breath hitch. That's when I pulled her to me by her waist and brought her lips to mine. I was so afraid to lose Bella, but what I hadn't realized until now was that she was afraid to lose me as well – she wasn't just afraid of rejection, she was afraid that I would cut her out of my life again.

She held my face in her hands to keep me close to her, and I pressed her further into me, notifying her that I'm not letting go, as we kissed. Her body felt perfect against my own. I grasped her upper lip between mine, caressing it softly with my tongue and making her sigh heavily, sweetly into my mouth. She was such a passionate woman. I loved the way she'd give into the way she felt, and the fact that _I_ was the one making her feel it.

This kiss was short – we were standing in the street, after all – but it said everything that needed to be said.

When we pulled away, we smiled at each other understandingly.

"Come on," I said, running a hand in her soft hair. "Let's go home."

"We totally left Alice and Jazz hanging back there," she said, gnawing at her lip.

"I think they'd rather be alone to make out anyway," I joked as we started walking home again, and she laughed. I felt the most amazing feeling of relief when she did.

"Are we going to make out too?" she asked as I threw an arm around her shoulder.

"Are you going to let me see your garter again?" I raised an eyebrow at her. That thing nearly _killed_ me. She laughed again.

"Only if you ask really, really nicely," she winked.

"Fucking tease," I said, once again hearing the redeeming sound of her laughter. I was in big trouble in this game, no doubt.


	21. The Reunion

_**A/N**__: Hey everyone! Aren't you proud of me? This one was faster! :)_

_You are all right, Edward and Bella are in desperate need of "The Talk", and it'll come… just not yet. There are a few things that need to happen beforehand. Thank you for all your incredilicious compliments, you've made my week! __Special thanks to__: iwannabe, cam_illa, ThisChickRunsWithVampires, puasluoma, chewycui, antariangirl93, bloftus, Coley1994, thamker, and __**my amazing Jerz**__!_

_Note #1. Since I don't live in the U.S and don't live in a dorm, I have no idea how any of that works, so please bear with me ;) _

_Note #2. Edward is adopted, of course, but he sees in Emmett and Jasper his real brother and cousin cause they kind of all grew up together anyways._

_And thanks so much for reading! Again, try to tell me your favorite parts! I'm loving it! And Edward banging his head on the table was my favorite part too lol._

_P.S__: For extras like Bella and Alice's dresses and stuff like that, see my profile :)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight._

* * *

**Chapter 21: The Reunion.**

_Bella's POV:_

_Three-Four years ago, Seattle._

I was fucking exhausted. After carrying all of my baggage three stories up the stairs, and almost getting knocked down by a bunch of guys who, of course, offered _no_ help, I finally reached my new dorm room, exhausted.

_Of all days, Jake had to pick today to be in Forks._

I realized I forgot to take the key that the lady from the desk downstairs gave me, and sighed heavily. Was I really going to go down again? And if I was, was I really going to leave my baggage up here for anyone to steal?

Suddenly, the door opened, and in front of me stood a tiny girl with short brown hair and a huge smile.

"You must be Isabella!" she said, and… gave me a hug.

I didn't know which was weirder – being called Isabella, or getting hugged by someone I met two seconds ago. Still, she seemed so sweet.

"Bella, actually," I said, tapping her back before she pulled away.

"Okay. Bella," she said. Her smile was so contagious; I couldn't help but grin as well. "So, we're roommates!"

"Yeah," I said. "Marie Alice, right?"

"Yup. But I go by Alice. Come in, come in!" she said, opening the door the whole way through for me to enter with my luggage. "You can pick the bed, I waited for you 'cause I didn't know which bed you'd want."

"Thanks," I said as I settled the luggage by the bed that was nearest.

"Wow, you only have two suitcases? I had four, plus my makeup back, which is incredibly heavy but I paid this guy 20 bucks to help me carry everything up," she said, not pausing for a second. "I don't know how I feel about being on the third floor but I guess it could be some good exercise, since I hardly do anything else."

I laughed. "Well, you probably lose 3 pounds a week talking that fast," I said, hoping she won't take it as an insult.

"I know, right? Some people find that annoying," she frowned.

A smile suited her so much better. Have I already mentioned how sweet she seemed?

"Well fuck them," I declared, and she laughed.

"Fuck them indeed," she said. "We're gonna be great friends, I can tell."

"Me too," I said, suddenly feeling lucky for getting her as a roommate.

"Plus, I am going to have the greatest time dressing you up and doing your hair and makeup!" She said, and the smile on my face faded.

"No, no," I said. "I don't do that sort of stuff. I like to keep it simple."

"Where are you from?" she asked.

"Um… I'm from Forks," I said.

"That explains it. I'm from D.C. But don't worry, once you live with me for a while, my sense of fashion will rub off on you in no time. I mean wearing _that_, on _that_ body, is a crime," she gestured towards my t-shirt and baggy jeans. "You need skinny jeans and a better top."

I laughed. She was strange, but I liked her. Or maybe that's why I liked her.

"I'll… consider that," I said.

"Good. So I brought my DVD. I'm thinking we could rent some chick flicks and get some food and get to know each other tonight. Which basically means, talk boys."

"Oh, I don't have a lot to talk about in that area," I said and plopped down on my bed. "I have three men in my life – my dad, my best friend, and my boyfriend."

"That already makes for _ten years_ of girl-talk. Especially since you just mentioned your best friend _before_ you did your boyfriend," she said and sat down next to me.

_Did I really? Is it possible that I'm already giving up the only secret that I've kept from absolutely everyone in my life to a total and complete stranger?_

"Did I?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

"Mm hmm," she nodded with a smile. "And now you're blushing like crazy. Bella, if you don't want to talk about… it, then it's okay. But you should know I'm a locked safe when it comes to that stuff.

I examined her expression, trying to find a sign of anything but sincerity, but couldn't. She was just the type of person you become instant friends with.

"Well… I guess I could use the girl talk," I said.

"Girl talk is my other middle name," she enthused. "Now spill."

* * *

_Today, Seattle nightclub, morning time, Friday._

_Edward's POV:_

Emmett and I sat on a couple of stools with a couple of beers in front of Jasper, who was working.

"Seriously, dude, _what_ are you doing?" Emmett asked Jasper.

He looked up at him and sighed, annoyed. "I'm making a list of what needs to be ordered for the bar. Sort of an inventory."

"I thought bartenders were supposed to get laid non-stop and have literally no work to do. Why are you doing _this_ sort of shit?"

He was acting like this all morning. I didn't want to have to put up with him being like this on my day off from my boss. Besides, Jasper _was_ getting laid non-stop. Unlike… me.

"Would you calm the fuck down, Em?" I said, and he stayed silent. "What's your problem, anyway?"

He sighed. "I had to sleep on the goddamn couch last night. Again."

Jasper chuckled, and I had to stop Emmett with my hands before he launched at him.

"Hey man, it's not my problem you're constantly pissing off your girlfriend and ending up on the couch," Jasper said, looking a little freaked out from Emmett's almost-attack.

"Yeah, yeah," Emmett resumed drinking his beer, so I released my grip on him. With his size, I'm actually not that sure I'd be able to stop him from leaping on Jazz. "She is totally on my back these days. And not on _her_ back."

"I'm guessing whatever her problem is, that's what's keeping you from having sex," Jasper said.

"Oh, and what makes you Mr. Relationship Expert?" Emmett grumbled.

"Uh, I don't know. Maybe the fact that we all have girlfriends, yet I'm the only one who's getting any?"

"God, you can't keep your mouth shut Whitlock, can you?" I asked, pissed about the fact that more and more people are in the know about Bella and mine sex life. Or almost-sex-life-once-she-breaks.

"Thank god," Emmett sighed out, "I don't like the thought of you violating innocent little Bella."

I glared at him. "She's not that innocent, and she's not your little sister," I said.

"You're right – _you're_ my little sister, aren't you?" he laughed, ruffling my already muddled hair like he did when I was sixteen. "So why aren't you doing it, anyway?"

"Let's not-" I began, but was interrupted.

"They won't admit to each other that they're trying to see who breaks first," Jasper summed it up.

"You are seriously fucked up, man. If you cave, you get some. So cave," he said, shaking his head.

"I think you're in a bad place if you get called 'fucked up' by Emmett Cullen," Jasper noted.

"Let's just talk about something else," I sighed in desperation. "What's Rosalie mad about?"

"She says we don't go out enough. That we don't have any 'couple friends', but just my 'stupid idiot friends', present company excluded," he said.

"Funny you should say that, cause us four had a double date last night. Remember, Edward? The one you ditched us on?" Jasper reminded me.

"Sorry, Jazz. Who would've thought Tanya would show up in Seattle?"

"No way. _Tanya_?" Emmett said.

"Yeah. Alice was completely freaked out for Bella," Jasper said.

"Bella was freaked out enough for herself," I sighed. "And I can't say I blame her."

After all, I felt the same way about Jacob Black. I felt like she was replacing me as her best friend with him – or at least, that she will replace me with him. And Bella didn't know why I drifted away from her back then, so of course she'd think I had just… replaced her. It wasn't true, though. And I was worried of the day the conversation will happen. The one where we'll talk about what went on in the past, and why I left. Because I knew whatever reason I gave Bella, it wouldn't be enough for her, and she would still be hurt, no matter what I said.

"Dude. We should triple date," Emmett enthused.

"Forget it. Triple dates are lame," Jasper said.

Our attention was drawn somewhere else, where a brawny looking man yelled into his phone like crazy.

"This is unacceptable. No, I don't care if your sister's roommate infected you with syphilis, you have to show up," he said, pacing back and forth. The three of us exchanged looks, and returned our focus back to him.

"Listen to me, you little piece of shit. This is the third time you've cancelled on me. You're not ever playing in this club again," he said, and hung up the cell phone.

"Hey, Jonah, what's up?" Jasper asked the man.

"Ahh… sorry excuse for a band cancelled again. I'll be in my office, trying to fill the 10 o'clock spot. Again," he said and walked off.

"Are you guys pondering what I'm pondering?" Emmett asked, looking fucking thrilled. I knew what he was thinking.

"I think so Em, but how are we going to make pencils that taste like bacon?" Jasper said.

Recognizing the line from Pinky and the Brain, I burst into laughter. Emmett, naturally, didn't get it.

"Stupid assholes," he muttered. "I'm talking about reuniting the band."

"We know what you're talking about, Emmett. We're just not sure if it's a good idea," Jasper said.

"Come on, what's the harm? Just for one night. We can make some cash and have fun. We haven't rocked in so fucking long," he said.

"We haven't practiced in so fucking long either," I countered.

"So we'll practice today," he shrugged.

"Actually… he makes an okay point," Jazz said. "Why shouldn't we? One night."

"My Guitar was ruined in the flood," I said. "And so was my amp."

I really did have bad luck with guitars.

"_That's_ your problem? I have like seven guitars lying around. You can have one. A gift from me," Jasper said.

"Well, I guess it could be nice," I caved, and Emmett immediately roared and tapped my back.

"Awesome, man. And hey, we can bring the girls to watch, that way Rose will stop bitching at me," he said.

I shook my head with a smile. _Emmett_. I knew he had some ulterior motive for this.

"Are you sure she'll get on with Alice and Bella? She's not exactly a girl's girl," Jasper said.

"They'll be fine; they're girls, they talk about everything. Worst case scenario, they'll find a common interest in 'how our boyfriends suck'," he said, making Jasper and I chuckle.

The hardest I tried, I could not picture Bella saying I suck to anyone but me.

First, Jasper asked his boss if he still wanted a band to fill in tonight, and he practically kissed him on the lips. Then each of us spoke with our girls, who all thought it was a great idea – in fact, I think Rosalie promised Emmett some sort of reward, but I wasn't asking for specifics. And then – practice.

I swear I forgot how good it was to hold a guitar and play – though, it wasn't as good as holding Bella and play her body like it was a guitar, or at least that was the thought that kept running through my head the whole time.

God, I wanted her. I wanted to break her tonight. Or maybe break myself. I didn't think I cared who won anymore. I just needed her. Preferably horizontal.

_I really hope she won't gloat. Okay, who am I kidding? It's Bella, she'll gloat. But in a cute way. And I can always find some way to make her… stop gloating._

"Are you even listening to me?" I heard Jasper say.

I hung my head in shame, and then shook my head.

"Figured so. I said you need to hook that up over there," he pointed to the speaker.

We were doing the sound check, and waiting for the girls to get here. They were showing up early for support.

I was really starting to feel nervous about this.

_Bella's POV:_

I was really starting to feel nervous about this.

"Alice, this dress is too small," I complained while she fixed my dress on the back, in front of the mirror.

"No it's not, you're just as tiny as I am, despite what you think," she said calmly.

I sighed in front of the mirror, trying to lower the hemline just a tad. It was Alice's dress, and it was tight – really tight. It was red, with black vertical stripes, and except for one black stripe holding it together, it was bare-backed. And incredibly tight, did I mention?

My hair was up in a carefully planned bun that Alice had designed. She also did my makeup, which is probably why I ended up with blood-red lipstick and blush – like I actually needed extra blush.

"Bella, you are a bombshell. Seriously, I'm talking radioactively hot."

"You think?" I asked, trying to pose in front of the mirror and really not seeing it. I liked my legs, but I couldn't see what Alice was claiming to see – I still looked pretty ordinary to myself.

"Yes! I mean, have you seen your ass in this dress?" She asked, raising her eyebrow.

I turned around and looked at it. It didn't look too bad. "Yeah, but doesn't it make my boobs look small?"

She gave me a death glare through the mirror. "I am going to personally choke you if you don't shut up."

I knew Alice too well to ignore any of her threats. She was fucking _scary_. "Fine, fine. Are we done?" I asked.

"Yes, if you want to go barefoot. Wait here, I'll get you pumps," she said and walked into her closet.

"Please try to pick ones with a heel that suits my lack of balance," I yelled out to her, while still trying to adjust the hemline.

"I'll… try," she called back.

She came back with black pumps with a heel that... well, it was pretty much an okay height for heels.

"Thanks," I said and sat on the bed to put them on. "So are we picking up Emmett's girlfriend?"

"No, we're meeting her at the club," she said, fixing her own hair in the mirror. She wore her short hair down, along with a black strapless dress, and she looked as great as always.

"I'm kind of excited to see what she's like," I said.

"From the way Jasper and Emmett talked about her, she sounds a kind of bossy," she said, curling her lashes now. "Though, that can be a good thing. And you know how guys are when they talk about their women – they tend to make us sound worse than we are."

I chuckled. She was right in general, but I just couldn't imagine Edward saying anything bad about me _not_ to my face. Like what he said about my hurting myself. I don't know why he insists on making stuff like that up – that doesn't happen so often.

"God, this dress is going to knock Edward out. He won't be able to resist you, bet or no bet," Alice said, looking proud of her accomplishment.

"I have to say, I barely care about winning the bet anymore. I feel like I'm punishing _myself_, I don't know if that's worth it anymore," I said.

It's been so hard to keep my hands off him, especially after seeing his naked body dripping wet in front of me. Not to mention I was seriously frustrated about the fact that I hadn't had an orgasm since what seemed like forever. And how was I going to react to Edward _playing a guitar and singing_ like a freaking rock god? Probably jump his bones - that's how.

"Trust me, you don't need to worry about that. Not after tonight."

***

We arrived at the club a while later, and we were told by the bouncer that the band is backstage, after we let him know we're the girlfriends.

I walked across the crowded club nervously alongside Alice. I wasn't quite sure why, but tonight felt as if it were somehow… fatal. I knew that if I broke – or even if Edward broke – things would be changed. Sex changes things. We'd had it, yes, but not as a real couple, not when there was a relationship to jeopardize.

As we reached one of the rooms backstage, that said "THE BAND", I stopped in my place. Alice looked at me questioningly, but then nodded understandingly.

"It's going to be okay, Bella," she said quietly. "You and Edward… it's meant to be."

_It _is_ meant to be_, something inside me told me. I nodded, taking a deep breath, and Alice knocked on the door.

After a few seconds, Jasper opened it and once he caught the sight of Alice, his face turned up into the most brilliant smile ever. Same goes for Alice's face. Like I said, they were disgusting.

"You girls look lovely," he said in a gentlemanly manner, and stepped towards Alice to kiss her. That was my cue to leave the icky couple alone. I walked inside the room, to find only Edward there, sitting on a sofa in a black dress shirt and jeans. My heart skipped a beat. Actually, I think it was at least 3 beats. As many beats as possible without going into cardiac arrest.

"Bella," he said in barely-audible surprise, and got up immediately.

While I felt very self conscious before, all I could focus on now was him.

We both took a few hesitant steps towards one another, examining each other – or, more precisely, checking each other out – for a long moment. I stopped when I was in front of him, but he took another step, narrowing the space between us as much as possible. I nearly gasped as I felt his erection through his jeans.

"I'm out of words," he said quietly as he leaned towards my ear, his hands keeping away from my body. The side of his face was touching the side of my face, and I felt his breathing in my hair and on my ear, causing me slight shivers.

"You don't have to say anything," I said, turning my head slightly to meet his gaze. His eyes were piercing through mine forcefully, in a way that made me want to run, but I couldn't even look away.

Just then, his eyes traveled down my face to my lips, making mine do just the same. I could see his chest rising up and down quickly just like mine was, due to my uneven breathing and the pounding of my heart.

He brought our noses together, but his lips were still somewhat out of my reach. I tried catching them between mine, but he pulled his lips slightly away.

"I don't want to ruin your lipstick," he whispered.

I chuckled softly, and tried nearing my lips to his again.

Just then, we heard a door open and turned our heads toward the noise. Edward took a step backwards.

"Little Bella!" Emmett called merrily as he walked out of the bathroom.

"I'm not little," I said, laughing despite of his interruption. I could tell he was going to pick me up, so I stopped him. "Do not pick me up in this dress," I warned him.

"Fine," he grumbled and pouted, making Edward chuckle.

Alice and Jasper came into the room hand in hand, and pink lipstick smeared on both their faces.

Edward and I exchanged looks of part amusement, and part disappointment for getting disrupted. Emmett just laughed his booming laugh.

"What?" Jasper asked, and looked at Alice. She looked back at him, and they both burst into laughter as well, and tried to wipe the lipstick off each other's faces.

"Alice and Bella?" someone asked incredulously behind Alice and Jazz.

They turned around and stepped aside, revealing my boss in a tight mini dress.

"Rosalie? What are you doing here?" I asked, considering strange conspiracy theories in which our boss stalks us during after-work hours.

"I could ask you the same," she said, smirking.

"Wait, you already know my Rose?" Emmett asked excitedly.

"You're Emmett's girlfriend?" Alice asked her, looking incredibly shocked.

"Hell yeah!" he said. "Come here, baby," he winked at her, and she walked over to him, jumping his lips with a kiss.

I just found it amusing that Emmett's bossy girlfriend was _actually_ Alice and mine's boss. This night was bound to get interesting.

***

"Oh _man_, that was like, the high point of my life!" Emmett shouted out when we stepped into the crisp night air, and Edward wrapped a jacket around me.

I stared at him longingly, until I heard a loud "Ow!" coming from Emmett.

"What was that for?" he asked Rosalie, rubbing his chest in the nipple area.

"I thought the high point of your life was with me, asshole," she said, as everyone tried to stifle their laughs.

"Of course it was, Rosie, I was just saying…"

"Do _not_ call me Rosie," she scowled at him.

"That was pretty brilliant, though, wasn't it?" Jasper said, his arm around Alice's shoulder. Alice was looking like she was on cloud number 9, and frankly – so was I.

"We were awesome!" Emmett said excitedly.

"I have to say I agree with Em, we were… awesome," Edward grinned at me.

His eyes were practically shining. The band was great – he was great. He really did look like a God up there, on the stage. His fingers worked that guitar so skillfully, it was sexy as hell. And his singing voice? Let's just say that if I hadn't already been extraordinarily in love with him, I'd fall for him at the sound of him singing.

There was this one song in particular that drove me crazy. It was this ballad, about a guy who loves a girl, but she has no idea. The thing was, Edward was looking at me the whole time he was singing it, and I felt myself literally melt. I felt like one of the groupies that screamed for him to call them. I felt like it was barely possible anymore to contain the love I felt for him without telling him. And it felt like he had real feelings for me as well.

"That, you were," Alice nodded in agreement.

"We fucking have _fans_!" Emmett said.

"Don't remind me," Rose and I said in unison.

"Come on, I don't mind if Jazz has girl fans, I'm totally secure in his loyalty to me," Alice said.

"Aw, babe," Jasper said and kissed her, while Emmett made gagging sounds – and rightfully.

"So I guess we'll call it a night then?" I asked, so fucking ready to take Edward home and play out every single fantasy I'd ever had about him.

"No way! Look what I snuck out," Rose said and opened her purse, revealing two bottles of Tequila.

"Drinking games!" Alice enthused, and I raised my eyebrows at her. "What? I _love_ drinking games. And it is pretty early."

I sighed. "Well, I guess we can go over to our place," I said, figuring it'd be easy to kick them out when we wanted to.

Three hours later, I was semi drunk, changed into t-shirt and sweat pants, and laughing hysterically along with Alice. She really did love drinking games.

"Okay, okay, let's truth or dare!" Alice said, raising the bottle of Vodka she was holding in her hand. The one we got from my kitchen cupboard once the Tequila ran out.

"That's lame, Brandon," Rose said. "And that's not a drinking game."

"But you do it drrrrunk," she spat back and laughed. She was such a lousy drunk.

The boys were only a little drunk, Edward the least – the only thing he drank was a beer. I was curled up in his lap on the couch, and every once in a while I planted a kiss on his neck, sniffing his scent.

As I did just that, he ran his fingers slowly along the line of my jaw, making me sigh quietly into his neck.

"Hey," Alice, who was sitting on the carpet with Jasper, Rose and Emmett, suddenly said. "Do we still have to go to work tomorrow?"

"You have the noon shift, so yeah," Rosalie nodded.

"You are such a bitch," Alice laughed out loud, and Jasper chuckled. "Why'd you steal Tequila bottles and fed Bella and I shots?" she said breathlessly.

"I guess Alice doesn't have the best tolerance for alcohol," Jasper said quietly to Edward and me.

"What are you talking about? I can drink like an Irish man at a wedding and not get drunk," she said.

"Yeah, you're obviously sober now, munchkin," Emmett said and laughed.

"I _am_!" she yelled, and Jasper rubbed her shoulders.

"I think maybe we should take you home, either way," Jasper said with a smile. "It's late."

"Okay, Jazzy," she said, looking at him dreamily.

"Yeah, we'll head off too," Emmett said as he stood up, helping Rose up as well.

We all got up, and Edward and I saw them to the door. Then Edward and Jasper tried to tear Alice away from me, because she hugged me and wouldn't let go for a few minutes.

"Bye," I said as I closed the door, and then sighed tiredly. "I am _beat_."

"You want to watch some TV and I'll make you some tea?" Edward asked. "With honey?"

"You know me so well," I said, although he didn't know how I was after these many drinks.

I plopped down on the couch, turned on the television and positioned myself to lie down comfortably on the couch.

_Edward's POV:_

This night had been an amazing one. Of course, what made it amazing was what made everything in my life amazing – Bella.

When she walked into that room wearing that dress, I felt like I literally just died. Nothing I could say to her would describe how she looked. It wasn't just her body. It weren't just her womanly curves, her creamy legs, her ass… _god_, her ass. It was her face. Her hair was up, revealing her neck and facial structure perfectly, and I was once more able to see just how gorgeous she was. I had to keep my hands to myself; otherwise I risked not being able to control myself, and not caring _who_ was in the room.

I didn't care about any of the so called "groupies" who were trying to yell out their phone numbers between songs. All I cared about was Bella, and finally getting her home.

Naturally, people got in my way. And now alcohol got in my way. But at least she seemed to have had a good time, and there was always tomorrow. Or the next day. Or hopefully, forever.

I figured she was probably starting not to feel well by now, so I hurried up on her tea and brought it to the living room.

"Bells?" I asked softly, kneeling down in front of her with the mug.

She moaned in her sleep and turned around to the other side. She looked so tired, I didn't have the heart to wake her. I smiled and put the mug on the table, sitting down next to her.

I dozed off in front of the television, before I was woken up by a few short knocks on the door.

_Who the hell comes to visit at nearly 3am?"_

I rubbed my eyes and looked over at Bella. She hadn't woken up, thankfully. I got up from the couch and walked to the door, looking through the peep hole.

_I can't fucking believe this. And yet, I should've known._

I opened the door and looked at the person in front of me, who was looking like a train wreck.

"What are you doing here, Black?"


	22. The Long Night

_**A/N**__: Sorry for ending it there guys, thank you for being understanding though, lol. Now, I know you were all hoping for some good Jacob beating done by our Jealousward, but maybe you'll like this too ;)_

_I loved hearing about your favorite parts! Please tell me again for this chapter, although I'm suspecting y'all are gonna like one part in particular……_

_Iwannabe - About the band's name – good question. Can't believe I actually forgot to name it, in all my excitement! I'll work it in one of the next chapters :) thanks for the reminder!_

_Chewycui – I'm giving you an Edward wrapped with a pretty bow, just for acknowledging to my Pinky and the Brain reference! lol_

_Special thanks with Sundae ice cream over it, topped with cherries: Bloftus, iwannabe, thamker, I'mSuperGirl, ThisChickRunsWithVampires, antariangirl93, cam_illa, chewycui, SleepMyBella, and my girl __**Jerz-Alice babe**__!_

_P.S: I don't usually press people to review, but this week it seems something is off with the statistics, so I probably won't be able to see how many people viewed the story (I use it to know how the chapter was compared to other chapters and so on), so if you could please review so I would know if you liked it, or what you liked/disliked about it – it would be a great help! Thank you!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight._

* * *

**Chapter 22: The Long Night.**

_12 years ago, La Push reservation, First Beach._

_Bella's POV:_

Up… down. Up… down. Up… down.

I looked at the sky, marveling at how it could be both sunny and rainy at the same time. The sky never looked like this in Phoenix. The sun was higher up there, and it was much, much warmer. I liked both suns equally, but it was the Phoenix sun I was going to be under tomorrow. It was already the end of my summer in Forks.

I was now a little cold, especially because of the wind that hit my face with force every time I swung up… and down on the tire swing. I slowed the movements of my legs, and waited for the swing to stop moving.

"Are you tired, Bellsy?" Jake asked, looking at me from the swing beside me. I noticed he'd slowed down as well.

"No, I'm just cold," I answered, wrapping my arms around myself.

"Do you want to go home?" he asked.

I did want to go back to his house, but he seemed a little reluctant. He would be sad to leave the beach. Jake loved the beach. So I shook my head.

"No, I want to stay," I smiled, staring at my feet.

"You don't have to stay because of me," he said, reading me perfectly.

"I'm not, I like the sand," I lied anyway.

"We can go, it's okay," he assured me.

"Jakey, I _want_ to stay," I insisted, this time looking directly at him.

"Hey, Jacob!"

My head snapped towards the place where the voice came from. There were three shirtless boys standing on a low cliff and calling out to Jake.

He smiled and waved at them.

"Are you coming?" one of them asked. The other ones held their hands to their mouths and howled, each in his turn.

He shook his head. "Tomorrow," he yelled back.

They got the message and left, hitting each other playfully on their way up the road.

"Who are they?" I asked.

"Just some new friends from school," he shrugged.

"Oh," I said. I sort of got the feeling that they wanted to spend the whole summer with him, and I was in the way.

"Whatever, you know. I'm going to spend the whole year with them. These two months should be just me and you."

"If you want to spend next summer with them… I don't mind," I said. I actually did mind, I minded a lot. But I didn't want him to hang out with me instead of his friends if he wanted to be with them.

"I want to spend next summer with _you_, just like this summer. Come on, Bells, don't be like that." He looked a little… offended for some reason I couldn't figure out.

"What? I'm just saying that if you'd rather be with your new friends, I could just go fishing with my dad, or… stay in Phoenix," I said, readying myself to bite back insult in case he says yes.

"You're not staying in Phoenix," he shook his head vigorously. "I'm not gonna choose someone else over you, you're Bells. We'll _always_ be friends."

"Really? Always?" I asked, feeling a smile spread across my face.

"Yes. Even if you'll hate me," he said, smiling confidently. He knew I'd never actually _hate_ him.

"Even if I buried your favorite sneakers in the sand and can't remember where?" I asked.

"Yes, even if… wait, what?" he panicked.

His face looked so ridiculous, I couldn't help but to start laughing, gripping my stomach with one hand and the swing with the other.

His face turned into a scowl once he realized I was messing with him.

"I hate you," he said, clearly fooling himself. "But we're still friends."

* * *

_Today, our apartment in Seattle._

_Edward's POV:_

I got up from the couch and walked to the door, looking through the peep hole.

_I can't fucking believe this. And yet, I should've known._

I opened the door and looked at the person in front of me, who was looking like a train wreck.

"What are you doing here, Black?"

"I'm sorry about the time, can I please just talk to Bella?" he asked in what seemed like desperation.

"No, you cannot talk to Bella. Bella is asleep right now," I said, leaning with one hand against the door as a way of blocking it.

"Please, I just… I can't deal with this alone anymore, and I don't have anyone else to go to," he said, practically on the verge of tears.

_This actually looks… serious. Do I fucking have to be nice to him now?_

I removed my hand from the door and sighed. "Look, Bella isn't exactly in shape to be up and about right now. We had friends over and she got a little tipsy, so she really needs -"

"Billy's in the hospital," he said, swallowing hard.

I knew Billy Black – not very well, but he used to come to Danny's Diner sometimes. And I knew he was a close friend of Charlie's, close enough for it to upset Bella.

"Your dad?" I asked. "He's in the hospital?"

He nodded in confirmation, leaning against the door frame for support.

"What happened?" I asked.

"He's been sick," he said, looking paler than _me_. "He has to go through surgery, and I really can't do this alone anymore."

I contemplated what to do. A part of me wanted to tell him to go to hell, but I knew what I had to do. I knew what Bella would want me to do – what was _right_.

"Which hospital?" I asked.

"Northwest," he said, his eyes questioning me.

"Go there, we'll be right behind you," I said.

He gave me a look of awe, of gratitude, but mostly of surprise. And then he nodded, and ran down the stairs of the building.

I grabbed a small bag from the bottom of Bella's closet, and stuffed it with some stuff like our toothbrushes, deodorant and a couple of shirts. Stuff we might need. Then I threw the bag on my shoulder, grabbed a blanket and walked over to where Bella was sleeping.

I watched her for just a moment; the calm expression on her beautiful features, her chest rising up and down slowly, and the way her hair fell on her face. Then, I gently wrapped the blanket around her and picked her up, carrying her to the door.

Once we were in the elevator, I felt her stir in my arms.

"Edward? Where are we going?" she asked calmly, still half unconscious.

"I'll explain later," I said. "Just sleep for now."

I got Bella in the back seat so she can keep on sleeping. I figured it wouldn't be too dangerous considering her truck drove slower than my old bicycle.

While I drove, I thought about Jacob Black.

He may have been a brat growing up – and maybe he still was – but Bella had told me that he always spoke to his father with the utmost respect and admiration. Billy had been in a wheelchair ever since I could remember myself, and everyone knew that Jacob was taking care of him. And he looked genuinely frightened earlier.

I wondered what this surgery was all about. He said Billy had been sick – though he never mentioned anything to Bella, and Charlie hadn't said anything either. _I think_.

Bella slept the whole way there, but I had to wake her up once we got to the hospital.

"Edward?" she asked, rubbing her eyes sleepily. She looked adorable in her sweat pants. "Am I in my truck?"

"Yes," I said. "Come here," I helped her up and out of the truck, and closed the passenger door behind her.

"Northwest Seattle Hospital?" she asked, taking in the scene. "What's going on, Edward?" She was not only looking worried, she looked like she could use a lot more sleep, and probably an Aspirin or two.

"Jacob came to the apartment a while ago," I started, hoping what I tell her wouldn't upset her too much. "Billy needs to go through some sort of surgery. I don't know all the details yet, but… Jacob needs you," I said in defeat.

If the situation were reversed, I would want him to do the same thing for me. Jacob needed _his friend_ Bella, and I knew what that was like.

"Surgery?" she asked, looking baffled. I furrowed my eyebrows. She didn't look okay. "What kind of surgery?"

"I don't know," I said. "Let's just go inside."

"O-Okay," she nodded, and I wrapped my arm around her waist to help keep her steady as we walked into the hospital. I wished she drank her tea before. I decided to get her a water bottle; she needed to hydrate.

"Where can we find Billy Black?" I asked the front desk.

"Fourth floor. Oncology 2," the woman answered dryly after looking him up in her computer.

_Oncology. This means…_

"Fucking rude," Bella mumbled as we got into an elevator full of people. I just rubbed the side of her arm slowly. It hasn't sunk in with Bella yet, what it meant for Billy to be up in Oncology.

We finally got off at our floor, and I immediately spotted Jacob sitting on one of a number of empty benches. He got up when he saw us.

"Bella," he called. By the look on his face, he was now registering just how much Bella was in no condition to be supportive right now. She was barely standing up straight.

"Billy has cancer," she said in a small voice, as it finally hit her. Jacob nodded, biting his lip firmly. "Tell me," she prompted.

He and I shared a look of concern for Bella before he turned his attention to her and said, "Maybe we should sit down."

We sat down, Bella and I on one of the blue benches, and Jacob on a bench in front of us. Hospitals were always blue. Blue walls, blue benches, blue scrubs – everything blue. Or green. My dad used to say that they wanted to use calming colors, but there was nothing calming about a hospital, no matter what color it was painted. Hospitals always involved stress, and not only for patients – that's why he opened his own practice in the first place.

Jacob sighed heavily, bringing me out of my thoughts, before he started talking.

"He just went into surgery a few minutes ago," he said quietly. "He has a tumor, in his stomach. The doctors think they can remove it completely, but we can't know for sure if everything will go smoothly."

"Oh my god," Bella said, running a hand through her wild hair and closing her eyes. She looked as if she was trying to keep her head straight. "I feel dizzy," she mumbled.

"I'll go get her some water," Jacob said, getting up from the bench and hurrying down the hall.

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and slowly pulled her to lean on me, her head in the nook between my arm and my chest.

By the time he came back with the water, she was already passed out again. I woke her up just to take a sip of water as he handed me the bottle, and let her fall back asleep.

He sat down across from us and sighed.

"I'm sorry for making you get her out of the house," he said, shaking his head.

"She'd want to be here, no matter what," I said truthfully. She'd probably kill me if I told her in the morning that Jacob spent the night alone in the hospital while his dad was having surgery, and I just let her sleep.

"I'm sorry for being sleepy, Jakey," Bella mumbled again. Her eyes were semi open and gazing at him.

_Jakey? What the fuck?_

"That's okay. It means a lot to me just for you to be here with me," he said, and looked back at me. "Both of you."

I nodded, recognizing his expression of appreciation, and looked at Bella fall back into unconsciousness again.

"How is it possible that Bella didn't know about this?" I asked him curiously. "Charlie never said anything."

"Charlie doesn't know," he said quietly. "No one knows. He made me swear not to tell anyone." He clenched his fists at his lap, looking frustrated. "He didn't want the people of Forks to feel even sorrier for him than they already do, for being handicapped and all."

"I'm sure Charlie wouldn't say anything," I said, slowly running my fingers through Bella's hair.

"He wouldn't, but… he didn't want Charlie to treat him any differently either," he said, his eyes fixed on my hand – the one that was stroking Bella.

"How long?" I asked, returning his attention to my face.

"Not long. A couple of months. He's been having stomach aches, so I took him to the doctor, and… he found cancer. Apparently, the tumor is rather large," he said looking down at his now unclenched hands.

"Wow," I said, finding it hard to take it all in. He'd been struggling with a sick parent for that long, not being able to tell a soul. I knew what losing a parent was like, I knew it all too well, and it was devastating enough when you _could_ tell about it to people. All matters with Jacob Black aside, I really fucking hoped he wouldn't have to lose the only family he had left.

"Yeah," he said. "I've been taking him to all sorts of doctors before I found this specialist here. He scheduled Billy for surgery in a few days, so I took him to my apartment in the meantime, but then he just… _collapsed_."

"Scary," I said in a low voice.

"Yes," he whispered, as we both looked down on the floor between us.

"So, if you decided to finally tell someone," I said, breaking the silence, "then why Bella? I mean, why not one of your friends?"

"I don't have any good friends here in Seattle, not ones I can count on, anyway. And… I knew that any of my old friends wouldn't keep their mouths shut about this, unlike…" he trailed off, gazing back at Bella again – quite longingly, I might add. "Bella."

_We both know that Bella's discretion isn't the only reason you turned to her, Black._

"And, you know. She's Bella," he said, shrugging.

"I know," I said, understanding exactly what he means. Bella was probably the only person who could be passed out and still make a person feel better, just by being there. "She'll want to tell Charlie, though."

He sighed. "Probably."

I could tell that he knew he would have a difficult time talking her out of it; once Bella made up her mind about something, it wasn't easy to change it. At all.

"Can I ask you something?" I said. There was something that didn't quite add up to me about him.

He just nodded, looking at me curiously.

"You told Billy that I moved in with Bella so Charlie would know," I stated.

"That's not a question," he said wryly.

"That wasn't _the_ question," I replied in the same manner. He said nothing, so I continued. "Why didn't you tell him that Bella and I are seeing each other? I mean, you _knew_ that Bella didn't tell Charlie, and you _knew_ that he would kill me if he found out."

He smirked for a moment – probably at the thought of Charlie killing me with his rifle – before he answered.

"I don't know," he said thoughtfully. "I guess I knew it would only drive you two closer together. And drive Bella away from me."

I nodded slowly. I never thought his reasons had anything to do with kindness. It was pure interest.

"Did you really think I was taking advantage of her?" I took the opportunity to ask.

"What do you mean?" His eyebrows furrowed.

"You told Bella not to let me take advantage of her, when we both know that's not the case. We both know I've wanted her since…"

"Since she was mine," he completed my sentence for me. _Touché, Black_.

I raised my eyebrows, awaiting his answer anyway.

"I thought so at first. Especially when she seemed so frustrated all the time."

"So what made you change your mind?" I asked.

He chuckled softly. "When you told me to stay away from her. You sounded like a fucking maniac. You sounded like I did when I told _you_ to stay away."

"So it isn't too hard to figure out how I feel about her, huh?"

"_Please_, Cullen," he said, and rolled his eyes like it was so obvious that I loved her that it actually bored him.

I looked down at her, realizing my arm was almost entirely numb by now from the weight of her head, but not caring. It was a very cute head.

"It's not going to last forever between you two, you know," he said, and I looked back at him. "It's not going to happen. She's gonna realize she's too good for you at some point."

She was definitely too good for me, but I hoped she wouldn't realize it for the next… well, never. Still, I did _not_ appreciate him saying that.

"Of course you think that. That's why you keep working at the book store. You're hoping she'll come around and see the one she should be with is right under her nose, I get it," I said casually.

He chuckled. "I'm not exactly opting for a career there, obviously."

"Well, that's what's not going to happen," I told him.

"You're probably right," he said, smiling. "I just can't help but staying anyway."

"Wouldn't it be better for you if you just moved on?" I asked, curious to know.

"Maybe. But there are two reasons why I can't do that," he said frankly. "One of them is that I honestly don't know if I can move on from Bella."

_Something I can certainly identify with._

"What's the other reason?"

"I promised her that I would always be there for her as a friend. And as long as I'm near her, I definitely _won't_ be getting over her."

This actually made me feel sympathy for him. He had it bad for Bella, and she didn't return those feelings – the same exact situation I was in, years ago.

There was a difference between us, though; one that brought all the guilt I still felt onto the surface, making me nauseated. While a clean break could've maybe helped him get over her, he couldn't bring himself to leave her. He stayed, even though it meant he had to see her with somebody else. I left her.

For two years, I left her. I hurt her, because I was too damn selfish to endure the pain it caused me to be near her.

"If I could take back disappearing on her like that," I said silently. "I'd do it in a fucking second."

"She was really hurt. More than I thought she'd be when you leave," he said in a moment of truly _brutal_ honesty.

I felt sick with myself. I knew that I had my reasons for leaving. Good ones, too. But was being angry with Bella, and the way she had treated me, enough to abandon her like that?

"Guess that was partly my fault," he said, making my head snap up to him in surprise. "I was the one who gave you the final push, and I knew what I was doing."

I couldn't, for the life of me, figure this guy out. This situation. This Honest conversation, filled with both animosity and respect combined.

"I'll give you one thing, though," he looked at me hesitantly, like he wasn't sure whether to speak or not, and then looked down at his hands. "If I'm not the one she's with, at least it's you and not some other douche."

I snorted. "Like I would let _that_ happen," I said.

"Yeah, there's this guy who keeps talking to her at the store," he said, irritated.

"Is that the one who asked her out?" I recalled her telling me about the guy who tried to make a move on her. She had laughed it off like it was nothing, like it was a mere joke. She was so unaware of how men reacted to her.

"Fucking asshole asked her out?"

"What does he look like?" I interrogated.

"He's even prettier than _you_, princess," he chuckled. "And he's got a Spanish accent."

_Motherfucker. Bella loves accents_.

"Whatever, she said no," I said childishly.

"Don't worry, he's not touching her. I'll rip his arm off before he does that," he said, smirking arrogantly. At least we had a common agenda there.

***

Jacob and I were sitting silently. Bella was still sleeping, her head resting on my thighs. I worried she might be uncomfortable, but she seemed peaceful enough. She didn't even stir once in the past couple of hours.

When the doctor came out, Jacob jumped up from his chair and rushed over there. The doctor talked with his hands, probably explaining things about the surgery, and I just waited to see some sign on Jacob's face to tell me what the outcome was.

Finally, after a moment, Jacob hung his head forward, and buried his face between his hands. My heart dropped. Bella would be devastated.

After a moment, though, his hands moved up to his hair, and I could see he was smiling. Widely. And then he hugged the doctor.

"You got all of it?" he squealed loudly, looking like a man in awe of a miracle.

I sighed out in relief, both for him _and_ Bella.

After he mouthed me a last "thank you", he rushed after the doctor to go see his father, and I decided it was probably time to wake Bella up.

I pulled her up gently to sit next to me and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, caressing her face with my other hand. "Bella?" I tried. "Bells?"

She moaned quietly and opened her eyes, and a smile formed on her face as her eyes stared into mine. But then I guess she remembered where we were, and sat straighter up, looking around in worry.

"Where's Jake? What happened? Is Billy okay?" she asked with alarm in her voice.

"Yes," I nodded. "I think he's in the clear. Jake's seeing him now."

"Thank fuck," she muttered, holding the bridge of her nose between her fingers. She probably had a blasting headache.

"Drink," I all but ordered her, offering her the bottle of water from before.

She grabbed it without hesitation, emptying the half that was left of it, sighing loudly afterwards.

"Come on, let's go home," I said, rubbing my hand on her shoulder.

"No, I have to wait for Jakey," she said. _Okay, seriously. What's up with this "Jakey" fuckery?_

"You can talk to _Jacob_ tomorrow. Besides, you really need a shower," I joked, earning a deathly glare from her as we started walking towards the elevator, our bodies embraced.

We both needed a shower, some sleep, and a day off from work tomorrow. But in fact, she smelled pretty great. Not like you'd expect from someone who spent the night cramped up in a club full of people, then getting wasted, then going to the hospital and sleeping on a bench there.

"Please shut up before you're going on my black list," she grunted.

"Oh, you have a black list?" I asked with a grin.

"I'll start one especially for you," she said, grinning back up at me as the elevator doors shut.

She dozed off again on the ride home, not much to my surprise. It was late, and she was obviously sporting the world's worst hangover by now.

So I let her sleep. I carried her from the car – along with the bag I brought – back to the apartment, laying her down on top of the covers.

And after I called in sick to work and got Bella some water to put by her bed, I joined her. I was asleep in practically two seconds.

When I woke up, it was 11am, and Bella was still asleep, lying on her side and facing me. It worried me a little that she hadn't woken up yet, but her lips were curled up into the sweetest smile, and she let out little sighs.

I stared a moment longer, pleased to know that I don't have to feel guilty for watching her sleep like I had years ago; she was my girl now. Not that a guilty conscience had ever stopped me from doing it when I was a teenager – I was such a little creep. She was adorable, though, with her hair all tousled and wild and her devious smile.

I wanted to kiss her, but I thought twice about it, figuring I might smell as awful as fuck, and that I needed to wash the hospital smell off myself.

So I just got up instead, hopping in the shower and letting my muscles relax under the hot water. I wondered how Bella would react when I told her about what happened. I had no way of knowing, because she was literally sleep walking and talking earlier this morning, and that was no real reaction. I hoped I had done the right thing by Bella, but I honestly couldn't think of a better way to handle the situation.

I mean, what are you supposed to do when your girlfriend's ex, who happens to still be in love with her, tells you his father is undergoing surgery and he can't possibly be alone?

You go to the hospital. And then you carry your hung over girlfriend back home, and make her coffee before she wakes up.

I was so caught up in my thoughts, that I didn't even hear her get up or get in the shower, but I suddenly heard her behind me.

I turned around, leaning on the counter, and smiled at her sight. She smiled back to me, looking all clean and sexy in her towel robe and wet hair.

"Aww," she said, dragging her pink bunny slippers in the kitchen until she was facing me. "You made me coffee. Is it too soon to get married?"

My breath caught in my throat for a second, before I realized she was kidding, of course. She probably wasn't even beginning to think about that stuff.

"Anything to avoid your morning hangover grumpiness," I winked, offering her a mug I took out from the cupboard before.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said cheerfully, and inspected the mug in my hand. "And I don't want this one, I want my Disney mug."

"Uh, I don't think you do, actually," I said.

"Why don't I?" she asked, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Remember last night, right before everybody left, when Alice got… sick?" I asked.

She creased her forehead, probably digging her memory for last night's events, and then her face contorted in revulsion. "Oh, eww. _Eww_! You threw it out, I hope."

"Yup."

"Good, cause after what Alice did, I can't even pay my respects to poor Mickey and Minnie," she shook her head.

"Last night _was_ pretty, uh… interesting," I said.

"I am never again mixing Tequila, Vodka, and Rosalie Hale," she said, making me laugh. I loved her way of saying things.

_I loved her way of saying things? Am I a dork now?_

Then, she took a step towards me, and pressed her body up against mine to get to the coffee pot behind me. Or to torture me to death – one of the two. When she did, I inhaled her scent deeply, relishing in the smell of Bella and soap combined. I wanted to fucking touch her – reach my hand into her robe and _touch_ her – but I wasn't sure if she didn't need more rest.

When she pulled herself back, she was smirking. "Did you just sniff me?" she asked, pouring coffee into her mug.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Like that wasn't your exact intention when you pressed your rack against me to get to the coffee pot."

"I was actually going for an ass grab, but sniffing is also good, in its own way," she chuckled, going to sit by the table in the chair that was facing me.

My jaw dropped slightly. _Okay, so I guess she doesn't need more rest_.

"So tell me about last night," she said, turning serious.

I poured myself some coffee as well, and began telling her about what happened, still leaning on the counter. I started with Jacob knocking on our door, and ended with how apparently, they managed to get the whole tumor out. I only left out the part where we talked about _her_.

By the time I was done talking, she looked absolutely shocked. She said nothing for about a minute or two, processing everything.

"So," she said slowly, "you spent your entire night keeping Jacob Black company at the hospital, even though you hate his guts, just so he wouldn't go through it alone?"

"I… I guess," I said, trying to read her expression. She looked _resolved_, although that didn't make any sense to me.

A second later she got up with that same expression, walked over to me quickly, and before I knew it – she was crushed against me, her lips claiming mine with force.

The coffee very nearly spilled out of the mug in my hand, and I strained to put it back on the counter as she attacked my lips. Her hands gripped my face, unwilling to let me pull back, not that I had any intention of doing that.

I finally reacted, kissing her back vigorously and clutching her waist through the thin towel fabric. She let out a needy moan against my lips – giving me an instant hard on – before slipping her tongue through them to meet mine. I was going to lose it, tasting her.

I slid one of my hands inside her robe to her ass to give it a little squeeze, earning another soft moan, and then gripped her thigh and hitched her exposed leg around me.

I lowered my mouth to her neck, and feeling the warmth emanating through her soft cotton panties, I couldn't help but to grind my erection against her.

"_Fuck_," I hissed against her neck, and gave it a small bite. The feeling of her hot core through only two pieces of thin fabric – her panties and my boxer shorts – combined with the guttural sound she made when I rubbed myself against her made me need her so much fucking more.

Suddenly, she pulled herself back, unhitching her leg and staring at me breathlessly. My body literally ached at the loss of contact.

"Bella, wh –" I meant to ask what's wrong, what made her pull so damn _painfully_ away from me.

"Edward," she said, putting her small hands on my chest and looking up at me through lustful, hazy eyes. "I lose."

It took a moment to realize what she was saying, and to reply with ragged breath, "This is not about the contest anymore. I need you."

"Exactly," she whispered, assaulting my lips again.

This time I was prepared, and I immediately responded to her with spirit, starting to back her up to her bedroom. It felt like literally forever since I'd been with her.

I tugged at her robe and undid it, wanting to see more. Her impatient hands never waited for me to do something; they grabbed mine and pressed them to her soft breasts, my name falling over her lips into mine desperately.

I wanted to take my time with this, but the slowness in which we were moving to the bedroom was just unbearable. So in one quick motion, I slid the robe off her shoulders and grabbed her smooth thighs, lifting her. She wrapped her entire warm and almost naked body around me, our eyes locking together.

I carefully moved us forward through the hall to the room, putting Bella down on it. Our gazes never broke away from each other – they couldn't; I felt like she'd hypnotized me with those big, brown eyes. Leaning on her elbows, her teeth found their way to her bottom lip, biting it down harshly as I pulled my own shirt off and tossed it aside.

She looked up at me nervously, which struck me as odd. This was far from our first time together, and she had no reason to be nervous. I sat on my knees at the foot of the bed and took her hand, pulling her up to sit in front of me.

I wanted to calm her nerves, but as my lips approached hers, she seemed almost scared. I stopped my lips inches from hers, and just looked at her with a smile in my eyes. My hands swept the damp hair out of her face slowly, and the moment I could feel her relax, I pressed my lips to hers.

When I felt my heartbeat pick up even more than it had so far, it occurred to me that maybe she wasn't nervous – but anxious with anticipation, just like I was. Not removing my lips from hers, I took her small hand and placed it over my pounding chest, letting her feel just how affected I was by her. She broke the kiss with a gasp, staring intently at me, and then pulled me to her again, this time moving back on the bed.

I wasted no time as I hovered over her, immediately beginning to land open mouthed kisses on her plush body – from the lower regions of her flat stomach and up to reach one of those soft, creamy breasts that I loved so fucking much. She moaned my name and writhed under me when I took her newly hardened nipple in my mouth, running my tongue over it again and again until she pulled at my hair impatiently. Always impatient, Bella.

I knew it would take every bit of my self control, but I wanted to make this last, and savor every moment of it.

I continued my way upwards between her breasts, on her neck, planting small kisses up her chin before I caught her lower lip between my teeth – the lip Bella's been driving me crazy by biting, this whole time I couldn't have her in my bed. She knew exactly what it did to me when she did that. And now I was mentally scolding myself for ever entering that stupid bet with her. All it did was get me frustrated. Very frustrated.

Bella groaned into my mouth, making me mirror her sound in reaction. It was just so fucking hot. As my tongue stroked hers, I crept one of my hands up her smooth inner thigh, and scraped the fabric of her panties gently with the tips of my fingers. Just as she let out a moan and tried to close her thighs onto my fingers, I let them flee onto her stomach. I wanted to _feel_ her better.

I slid my hand beneath the waistband of her panties, feeling my way down to her small, sensitive bundle of nerves and moving my fingers on it in a downward motion, like I knew she liked.

"Oh _god_," she broke from our kiss to say.

She tried toeing down my boxer shorts, but I wouldn't let her just yet. Instead, two of my fingers moved down her wet slit and pushed into her, effectively disabling her from any motion other than rocking into them.

"Edward," she choked out, silently pleading me.

I leaned into her ear, never stopping my ministrations and, with every intention of undoing her, said "I know you want me to fuck you, but you have to come for me, first." And with that, I began rubbing her clit with my thumb as my fingers stroked her from the inside.

One moment she was looking at me through hooded eyes, and the next, she had her eyes shut tight and her back perfectly arched into my hand as she came with loud groans that only served to make my erection painful.

She lied there for just a few seconds as I removed my fingers, looking spent, before she took action and pushed my boxers down with her feet. I thought she would by then make me enter her in seconds, but instead, she looked me in the eyes with a devious grin on her face.

Then she started kissing me.

I sighed and groaned every time her lips touched my skin. She bit my neck playfully, making my cock twitch against her stomach, and kissed my chest, and flicked her tongue against my nipple – something I never thought I would like until Bella. She moved her own body down as her kisses went, until her head was aligned perfectly – in a way that made me think someone up there must fucking love me.

I couldn't see her, but I could definitely feel her tongue touching my cock, running from the base up frustratingly slow. I couldn't help the moan that escaped me when her tongue brushed against the engorged head; it sent shivers down my spine.

"Shit," I choked out as she took just the head of my cock in her mouth, applying the gentlest pressure on it. I felt like I was going to explode, like a fucking teenager getting his first head.

She took more of me in her mouth and moaned loudly at the same time, so I would feel the vibrations all over my cock. That little tease. It took all I had in me not to start outright fucking her mouth, but I couldn't control the automatic bucking motion my hips made towards her, and...

_Oh my fucking _god_, that feels good._

She took my cock out of her mouth again, and started licking it again, barely touching me with her tongue. It was torturous. Was she really trying to pay me back _now_?

"Bella, stop _right now_," I ordered in a low growl. I was afraid of what might have happened if she didn't stop her teasing.

To my absolute relief, she stopped everything she was doing and pulled herself back up, smiling innocently at me.

"Point proven, don't torture me," I asked, eyeing her up and down. She was the sexiest thing I had ever seen.

She grabbed my face in her hands, and kissed me in earnest – and for a moment there, all I could concentrate was her lips; her taste; her smell; her kiss. But when she wrapped her legs around me and grinded her warm, still covered center right against my cock, I couldn't concentrate on anything but wanting to be _in_ Bella.

I broke from the kiss, whispering against her lips, "I need to be inside you, now."

She nodded furiously, never breaking eye contact. I reached my hand down and began pulling her panties off, with Bella's help. Once they were gone, I was inside her in seconds.

We both cried out as I began repeatedly thrusting into her, hitting her every sensitive spot. I wanted to last longer than I probably could, but it felt utterly amazing to be able to feel her like that again.

She grasped onto my shoulders, whispering my name. I leaned my forehead on hers, gazing intently into her brown eyes, and grabbed each of her hands, raising them above her head within mine for better leverage.

I kept a steady rhythm, wanting to prolong this as much as I could. It was like I was afraid she would suddenly go away, disappear, or leave. And there it was again – looking at her like that, I was going to blurt it out, confess everything.

Panicked, I pulled myself out of her and back away on the bed until I was further away from her. Needless to say, if my erection could speak, it would be screaming swear words at me. Bella sat up on her elbows, looking at me with wide eyes, looking scared.

"Fuck, this isn't how I wanted to…" I trailed off in frustration, running both hands through my hair.

Her expression changed like she had realized something, and she bit her lip. Now she looked like she was about to cry.

_Great. Now look what you did. You fucking insulted her, you incapable asshole._

"I mean," I gathered myself to say, trying to slow my breath, "this isn't how I wanted to say this."

"To say what?" she asked in a small voice. I didn't answer, because I couldn't find my words. "To say what, Edward?" she pressed, moving closer to me until she was standing on her knees in front of where I was sitting, her face directly in front of mine.

"To say what?" she whispered one more time, almost giving up on me.

It was difficult for me to say it. It was difficult for me _not_ to say it.

I took her small face between my hands, neared my lips to hers to the point of almost touching, and got my fucking act together, finally.

"That I love you," I almost-whispered.

She gasped, her mouth gaping slightly, but before she could say anything, respond, I put my mouth on hers and pushed her back on the bed, quickly penetrating her again.

This time I held one of her thighs at my side as I pounded into her, going faster and harder than before. She moaned loudly, rhythmically, as I kept my lips close to her – touching, but allowing us both our much necessary breaths.

I groaned as I felt another shudder go through my body, signaling my nearing climax.

"I love you, Bella," I whispered, relishing in the feeling of being able to say it instead of mentally gagging myself. "_Love_ you."

"Edw…" she began, but couldn't continue. She just whimpered, closing her eyes, completely losing it.

Her moans sent me over the edge, exploding inside her like I never had. We breathed into each other like crazy, trying to calm ourselves down from that intense feeling.

I finally pulled away and buried my head in her neck, breathing the sweet, faint scent of her sweat combined with her shampoo. She ran her fingers through my damp hair slowly and whispered breathlessly, "I..."

But never finished the sentence.


	23. The Ban

_**A/N**__: Hello my loves! We meet again! I wanted to get this chapter done sooner, but it's major holiday time in Israel, so I got little chances to write. I hope you'll enjoy this, it's not as intense (or as long) as the last chapter, but it's alright :)_

_Special special thanks with gold bricks and snow cones on top to: Chewycui, cam_illa, iwannabe, BonesnBooth4ever, rubyred753, Pixie365, PaperThinHeart-Jaded Jess, SleepMyBella, Alyssa Black, puasluoma, Sherry80, bloftus, antariangirl93, and of course my ever-lovely __**Jerz-Alice-Babe**__!_

_I LOVED your reviews! I'm very glad y'all liked that little lemon and Edward's chat with Jacob, and realized Jake wasn't as bad as you thought ;) sorry about the cliff hanger! I just can't help myself sometimes lol. This one doesn't end like that._

_Please review with what you liked/disliked about it, I practically jump up and down in public when I read it on my phone! Love you guys!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight._

* * *

**Chapter 23: The Ban.**

_Bella's POV:_

_Today, book store in Seattle._

_Thud_.

I nearly yelped when my back hit against the wall forcefully. But it wasn't a yelp of pain. I put my hands over Edward's muscular shoulders and helped myself up, because he was too busy assaulting me with his very, very hungry mouth.

The sound of our hectic breathing echoed through the empty storage room as Edward grabbed me by the ass and carried us across the room where the boxes were, our lips not able to unfasten from one another's for a mere second. When he was about to put me down on one of the boxes while I was only wearing a pair of panties, I disengaged.

"No, no, dirty," I barely managed out through pants. "Dirty boxes."

He made the correction and turned around, sitting on one of the boxes himself and setting me on my feet in front of him. _My, what a gentleman_.

I fumbled with the buttons of his trousers until they were undone. Actually they were _that_ close to being ripped off, but I figured Edward might have just a little trouble explaining that when he comes back from his lunch break. Which was supposed to be over in… _17 minutes_, I calculated after a quick glance at the clock on the wall. And he still had to walk back.

But storage room sex was fast, just like car sex in a dark alley or in the bathroom of Edward's workplace while his boss was at a meeting – and unlike shower sex, or sex on my washing machine, or sex on the couch, or the carpet, or… you get the idea. We were at it like heated kittens ever since a week ago, when we _finally_ broke off the bet and got physical again. It was never planned, but right now, for example, when he showed up at the store, I couldn't help but drag him to the storage room.

While I sat myself in his lap, he took the moment to unfasten the last button left on my shirt, and opened it up to reveal my lace covered breasts. He looked too fascinated by them at the moment, so I took action once more and took his cock out through the button of his boxers.

_Reminder to self: thank whoever invented_ those_ things._

He finally lifted me up, locating me to the proper position and got ready to sit me back down, this time right on top of him. I could feel the tip of his cock at my entrance, pressing up on it, and it felt so goddamn good.

I couldn't prevent the moan that escaped this time, but Edward was wise enough to put his hand over my mouth just in time to muffle it. He looked at me, questioning if he could take his hand off, and I shook my head. I didn't trust myself not to make noises.

So he just started moving me up and down his shaft, supporting me with one hand and helping me keep quiet with the other. It was a good thing that he did, because I would probably scare off whatever poor customer entered the store. And I'd like to see Alice try and explain _that_.

Not before long, I had to gag Edward with my hand as well, as we were both sent over the edge in shudders and loud huffs.

"Poor boxes," I laughed quietly when he slowly removed his hand from my lips.

He kissed the palm of my hand before he moved that away too, and smiled. "Will you stop animating the objects we fuck on? Or in?" He asked, probably referring to my truck.

"Poor Penelope," I sighed, wanting to irritate him, and tried to climb off. He wouldn't let me; his hands clung to my back relentlessly.

"Edward, let me get off."

"Funny. I thought you just did."

I rolled my eyes. _Fucking hilarious_.

"Well, maybe I faked it," I teased.

I couldn't help but burst into laughter when his eyes widened in shock. Then his eyes narrowed and his expression turned into a scowl.

"If you ever joke about that again, I'll hold you hostage in your bedroom for a month," he said, letting me off.

"Is that supposed to be a threat?" I grinned as I stood up and picked up my jeans.

"More of a promise," he winked at me while buttoning his shirt back.

Once I finished wearing my jeans, he pulled my hand and my body slammed into his. I looked up to find the most amazingly bright green eyes gazing down at me.

"I love you," he said, and kissed me again.

* * *

_Edward's POV:_

_A week ago, our apartment:_

I finally pulled away and buried my head in her neck, breathing the sweet, faint scent of her sweat combined with her shampoo. She ran her fingers through my damp hair slowly and whispered breathlessly, "I..."

But never finished the sentence.

"Wha… You can't be serious, Bella," I said, incredulous, once I got it together.

I lifted my head up to look at her. She was still panting, and she had a confused look on her face.

_Great. She's fucking confused._

"What?" she finally asked.

She was playing innocent, and it pissed me off a little. She knew how hard it was for me to tell her that. I honestly believed that Bella wouldn't let me down, or leave me just hanging there, but she was about to.

"You know what, Bells. You know exactly what. I just… fuck, I just told you that I love you. _Me_. Can't you at least have the courtesy to say, I don't know, that you _like_ me?"

She opened her mouth as if to say something, but regretted it. She paused thoughtfully before she spoke again.

"I just wasn't sure if you meant it," she said quietly.

"Why wouldn't I mean it?" I asked. For the life of me, this girl was unreadable.

"Come on, Edward. You said it during sex. You were excited. I was naked."

I sighed out in frustration. "You see? This is why I didn't want to say it like that."

I had a feeling that she'd think it was because of some sort of pre-climactic high.

"So you…"

"I meant it. I really, really meant it. I love you, Bella, naked or fully clothed," I said, smiling down at her. She was practically beaming, her sexy little body glistening beneath mine.

"Well then, in that case," she wrapped her arms around me and tangled her fingers in my hair. "I love you, too."

After all it took for my breath and heartbeat to finally settle down again after what we just did, both of those began to pick up again.

_She loves me_, I marveled.

"Though I do prefer you naked than fully clothed," she grinned.

"We're finally on the same page, then," I grinned back to her.

_Bella's POV:_

"Come on, let's get something to eat before I have to go to work," I said, lifting myself up a bit to lean on my elbows.

"You're going to work?" he asked, looking all pouty and deliciously naked as he sat on his knees on the bed.

"Well… yeah," I said, getting up and standing in front of him.

"But you can't," he protested, and wrapped his arms around me to pull me to him. "You have to stay _right_ here."

"I have to?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, you have to stay so I can kiss your body," he said, laying kisses on my upper abdomen, "and also so we can repeat what we just did about a dozen or so times."

I giggled. "I want to, believe me – I want to, but I have to go to work today," I said, playing with his hair.

"Then why are you going? Don't go," he said, his voice muffled by my breasts, making me laugh.

"Because, Jake won't be going, so Rose wouldn't have anyone to call for backup. I'd be screwing her over. And Alice, too," I said frowning, and he groaned. "I'll be back before you know it, though," I smiled, ruffling his hair.

"You better be," he said.

"Okay," I nodded.

"And naked," he added.

I just shook my head and laughed, and wondered whether I was dreaming this morning or not.

* * *

When Edward left the store to go back to work, I was left behind to watch him leave – his butt, that is – while Alice stared at me, shaking her head.

"You are heinous. You know that, right?" she asked.

"What?" I asked innocently, walking behind the counter to sit on the stool.

"In the storage room? I'm supposed to unpack those boxes, you know," she said, leaning on the counter in front of me.

"May I remind you that you practically molested Edward's cousin in front of us _and_ puked in my Disney mug?"

"No, you may not remind me about that," she grimaced. "_Ever again_."

"Don't worry, nobody's ass touched anything," I smirked, knowing she's not really grossed out. She liked details.

"How did you pull _that_ off?" she raised an amused eyebrow.

"Three words for you – boxers with buttons," I chuckled, and she laughed.

"So I take it you and Edward are doing okay?" she asked a moment later.

"For now," I said, smiling.

"For now? What do you mean, for now?" she asked in confusion.

"I mean I don't want to get my hopes up. Look at us. It took us 6 years to get to where we are now. First he sees me as nothing but a friend, then he completely ditches me, and when we finally get together - we're just friends with benefits. So in case anything happens to us, I don't want to be shattered," I said.

What happened a week beforehand was utterly out of this world. I practically jumped him when I heard what he had done for Jacob – or more accurately, for me. He spent the whole night at the hospital. He never slept. He made sure Jacob wasn't alone. He _talked_ to Jacob (about sports, apparently). He put me to bed, and he even made me coffee in the morning. He was fucking amazing.

What girl in her right mind wouldn't jump him? Especially after being tortured by him for what seemed like ages. I needed him, badly. And I wanted to be with him, to show him just how incredible I thought he was.

But I never thought I would hear those words from Edward, especially not that quickly (if you count out the years of friendship, of course). And I was scared to even answer, because something always seems to go wrong with Edward and me.

"But that's love, Bells. You jump head first in the water and take the risk of getting hurt. That's just how it's done."

"Well, I'm jumping in the water, but with my feet first. I can't help it; I have rejectophobia," I said. _Rejectophobia. Nice one_.

"So you're just with him, but waiting for something to ruin it?" she asked.

I nodded, although it wasn't entirely true. I wasn't waiting for it, just dreading it.

"That's just wrong," she shook her head, but let it go. "Hey, how's Jacob?"

"He's alright, his dad is doing fine. I still can't believe Rosalie knew and didn't tell me."

"I don't think she even knew you guys were friends outside of work," she shrugged.

"We're not. I mean, we were. We're sort of. I don't know _what_ we are, but he seems to be much nicer about Edward," I eventually concluded.

Just then, we heard the bells at the store door chime.

_Talk about things going wrong._

"Hello, ladies," Ms. Leggy Blonde said, walking towards us in her perfect outfit and flawless hairdo and makeup. That sort of stuff could really make you want to hurl.

I gave Alice a look as if saying 'you see?', but she ignored.

"Tanya, right?" Alice answered for me, knowing my throat would probably close up on me.

"Yes, indeed. When you and Jasper told me about this little shop, I just had to see it," she said.

"Oh, _did_ they tell you about it?" I asked, looking at Alice who lowered her head with guilt.

"I've been dying to read the new Candace Bushnell," she said excitedly, looking around with her Gucci purse at her side.

I knew Alice must be freaked right now. She loved designer clothes, but she couldn't really afford them, at least not as many as she would like.

Tanya stroke me as the kind of girl to read Candace Bushnell novels and nothing else. Hell, she looked like she had just come out of a Sex and the City episode.

"Well, we have it," Alice said. "I'll get it for you," she ducked out, leaving me all alone with Ms. Strawberry Blondie. _Yipee_.

"So... Bella. How long have you and Edward been an item?" she asked with a smile. She looked like she genuinely just wanted to make conversation. She even seemed _nice_.

"Umm… it's actually pretty new," I said, biting my lip. "But we've known each other for a while."

"Well, I wish you guys all the best," she said.

"Thank you," I said in surprise. She was nothing like I expected her to be.

"Though you should know what you're getting into. Edward is not the guy to be open and up-front about his feelings. He can be rather difficult, actually. Keeps changing the subject when it comes down to something hard," she chuckled as if she was in on some private joke, "But sometimes it helps if you don't push him."

All I could really do was laugh awkwardly. I didn't think there has ever been anyone who could know Edward better than I did. "Yeah, I, uh… I know. Edward and I have actually been friends since high school," I said. "With the exception of college. Which is where, I guess, you stepped in."

She looked at me for a moment with a strange expression on her face, before she spoke again.

"You know, you should tell him that he never called me back," she said, smiling again now, but a bit differently.

"Since college?" I asked slowly, weirded out by her statement.

"Of course not," she laughed. "Since his apartment was flooded. I called him, and he told me what happened and said he'd call me back, but he never did."

I blinked, trying to comprehend what she was telling me.

"His… you were still in touch when that happened?" I asked.

"Yeah. We would get together every few days, but then he sort of disappeared, so I called to check up on him and the bastard never called back," she laughed.

_But that would mean…_

_That would mean that he never told you exactly where he's been when he went off for days at a time, and you never properly asked. And he was with _her_. When he wasn't with you, he was with the leggiest blonde in the state of Washington. That is what it means._

"You would see each other every few days?" I repeated her, not sure how to digest it.

She nodded. "Edward sure knows how to show a girl a good time," she laughed.

I internally gasped as a sharp pain stabbed my chest and down my arm, before I heard Rosalie's voice coming from behind her.

"I'm sorry, _Tanya_ is it?"

She turned halfway around, looking at Rose and Alice standing there. I saw Spanish Guy in the background, pretending not to be listening.

"Yes," she said. "And who might you be?"

"Glad you asked. I'm the manager, and I'm banning you from this store," she said with a bitchy smile, crossing her arms against her chest. "For good."

Alice nodded in agreement, wearing a cold, stern look.

"Excuse me?" she raised her eyebrow.

"You heard me. This store reserves the right not to give you service. You. Are. Banned."

"And why exactly am I banned?" she asked, outraged.

"Because you are. And you banned from talking to my employee, Bella Swan, too. Now please, leave," she pointed at the door.

Tanya looked positively shocked for a few seconds, but then she just nodded and left, the bell chiming behind her.

"Bells…" Alice started, and I held a hand in front of me.

"Just… don't," I said, not wanting to talk about it. I walked behind the counter, intending on going back to work. "Thanks, Rose," I said as I passed the girls and went over to the only customer in the store.

"Spanish Guy," I greeted him with a semi fake smile, trying to sound more enthused than I actually was. In the corner of my eye I could see the girls exchanging looks of defeat and going off to mind their business.

"American Girl," he greeted me back. "Perhaps we should tell each other our names? I think it might be time."

"I agree," I said, even though I would keep referring to him as Spanish Guy when he wasn't around. "I'm Bella," I smiled, this time for real.

"Julian," he smiled back, reaching his hand for me to shake.

I shook his hand, and felt weird, because he somehow made me feel better by doing nothing.

"So, Julian, can I help you find anything?" I asked.

"Well, no. But I did want to tell you one thing."

"Tell me?" I asked in confusion. _What would he possibly have to tell me?_

"Mm hmm. Us, men, we're screw ups. We never do anything right," he said, and I had no doubt it was about the conversation I had with Tanya before, so I just sighed and gazed down, reluctant to listen.

"Really," he tried catching my eye again. "Sometimes we do things and don't realize until later that they were wrong. Like lying, or hiding," he said.

"I'm sorry, I don't really want to discuss this," I said, biting my lip. I didn't even want to think about it. I wanted to go home and hit Edward over the head with a pan, but not talk about it.

"I know, I'm just saying – talk to your man. That's it. And, do you have something good in sci fi?"

"Come on, other shelf," I said, ignoring the first part of his sentence.

But he did have a point.

So when I went home, I decided I would talk to Edward instead of hitting his head with an iron pot.

I walked in, putting my bag down on the little side table next to the door.

"Bells?" Edward called.

A moment later he was walking towards me, and two moments later he was kissing me and pulling me close to his body.

It hit me as a shock, and not an unpleasant one – it was sending very nice vibes down my abdomen. Nonetheless, I had to pull away.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed. I was thankful that he was able to realize immediately I wasn't my usual self.

"Tanya came by the store today," I simply said.

"Tanya did _what_?" he asked, shocked.

"Yes, and we talked," I said.

He was going to say something, but I held my hand out in front of us to silence him. "I'm not going to wait and see if you lie to me now. I'm just gonna trust you. You've been with her."

What I meant was, I didn't want to test him. I didn't want to wait and see if he tells me all on his own. I wanted to believe that he would. That he had just messed up.

"Yes, but not like you think –"

I interrupted him again. "I know you didn't…" I shook my head, letting the ending of the sentence be left implied. "You told me that I was the only one you were with… and I believe you."

He didn't say anything; he just pulled me to him again and held my head against his chest.

"Why didn't you tell me, though?" I asked, moving slightly away so I'll be able to look at him. I wasn't willing to let it go just yet.

"What was I supposed to say? 'Hey Bella, you know all those times I didn't call you for days? Well, I was with another girl. But don't worry, we were just talking'."

"Yes, Edward. That's what you were supposed to say," I said seriously.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't see the point of telling you something that might make you angry or upset, when it couldn't be less important," he said.

I couldn't have that. I wasn't okay with being kept in the dark and constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. And with Edward, the other shoe seemed to be dropping over and over again.

"It doesn't work like that; you can't pick and choose what to tell me. I want the whole truth, always. Okay? Don't hide stuff from me," I asked. I looked up at him, and he looked back down sadly.

"This is probably the thousandth time I'm telling you I'm sorry," he sighed, and caressed my cheek with his thumb.

"Probably the millionth," I corrected him with a small smile.

"But I am," he said, lowering his lips to mine slowly.

"I know," I whispered against them, and then kissed them. It felt so damn good to be close to him, that I couldn't bother to keep fighting. The man was sorry, _sheesh_.

He deepened the kiss and pressed me to him again. This time I didn't resist, but follow his lead to the living room couch, where he laid me down and climbed on top of me with a smile. My lips found his again, relishing in their softness, and the smooth feeling of his tongue, until my thoughts bothered me.

"So, can I ask you something?" I suddenly broke to say.

"Something serious?" he asked.

"Sort of," I said, and he climbed off to sit next to me.

"I'm kind of scared, but go ahead," he chuckled.

"Okay. So, I know you haven't slept with Tanya, but how many, uh… girls, were you exactly with?" I asked, completely embarrassed and _painfully_ awkward.

He laughed embarrassedly, averting his gaze. "You really want to talk about this?"

"Not really, but I guess we should," I said truthfully. "I mean, don't couples usually talk about these things?"

"I guess," he sighed.

"So?" I asked, after a moment of silence.

"Well, before you there was just the one girl," he said quietly.

"Really?" I asked in disbelief, though my heart was actually swelling up with joy.

"I know, you were expecting a much higher number, considering I'm such a sexy guy," he chuckled, lightening the mood.

I rolled my eyes. "You're laughing, but that's exactly it. So was she hot?" I asked, biting my lip. I already knew she was, of course, in a skanky kind of way. I'd seen her, and heard her. Unfortunately.

"Who?" he asked.

"The girl. Jessica," her name accidently slipped out.

"Well she wa- wait. How'd you know her name was Jessica?" he narrowed those green eyes at me.

I opened my mouth, thinking of how I could possibly put it. "I overheard," I finally said.

"You overheard? From whom?" he pressed.

_Virgin Boy Edward_, I heard Jessica's voice echoing in my head, making me feel sick.

"Just people," I said casually. I really didn't want to get into the whole 'I heard the girl talk about you and then ran to hurl in the bathroom' thing. But it made me wonder if I should tell him sometime that I'd been in love with him since we were sixteen.

"Okay," he said, stretching the word. "Well, she was just the wrong kind of girl for me. Not really my type, either."

I just smiled in contentment. I knew she wasn't his type at all. She was… plastic.

"So what about you?" he asked, looking nervous.

"Me? Oh, I wasn't with anybody besides-" I started, but stopped short at the sight of Edward's face, which contorted in pain. He practically winced. "Sorry," I said instead.

He probably figured that it was Jacob, since we were together for a pretty long while. I had no idea why it upset him so much, though, because it was long before he and I got together. I guess it was just the fact that it was _Jacob Black_ that bothered him more than anything.

"Anyway, he was the only one until you," I said. "But I would say my first time with you was my first real time."

He looked at me, surprised. "The first time it meant something?" he asked, and I nodded. "For me, too."

We sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, before I spoke.

"So, if that girl Jessica wasn't your type, then what _is_ your type?" I asked with a devious smile.

His expression mirrored mine as he turned his head to look at me, and said, "Well let's see… brown hair," he said, stroking mine with his hand. "Brown eyes," he looked into them, smiling. "Awesome rack," he said, moving his hand down my body and making me laugh, because he sounded a bit like Emmett. "And a great, great ass," he gave it a little squeeze, before he climbed on top of me again.

"Hmm, do you know anyone like that?" I asked, grinning.

"Oh, and did I mention she has to be a smart-ass who won't shut up?" he said, and I hit him playfully with both hands. In one motion, he caught both my hands in one of his above my head, pinning them down. "It isn't very nice to hit," he said.

"I'm sorry, do I need to be punished?" I purred, biting my lip firmly.

We didn't do much talking after that.


	24. The One Red Thread

_**A/N**__: So, it's been a while, hasn't it? I hope you lovely people haven't given up on me just yet. I wanted to take my time with this chapter, because it's an important one. We're also getting close to the end of the story; after this chapter it's only about 2 more and then an epilogue. I'm sad._

_BUT. I hope you'll like this chapter – my heart was racing while I wrote it. It's named after a song by __**Blind Pilot**__, which is an amazing bang. I'll post some of the lyrics for you, but I recommend that you listen to it. Also, you might hate either Bella, Edward, or both (or actually, maybe you'll just hate ME) after reading this chapter, so all I can say is – __**be patient**__._

_Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed, and especially these people: My girl __**Jerz-Alice-Babe**__, Cam_illa, emeraldmoon14, Pixie365, bloftus, SleepMyBella, chewycui, antariangirl93, iwannabe, Alyssa Black, thamker, and Sherry80._

_Please enjoy reading!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight._

_

* * *

_

**Chapter 24: The One Red Thread.**

_From the first that the line got drawn_

_It was poisoning the land it was on_

_One red thread through the middle of a song_

_My only one, my only one._

_I can't remember the age that I was_

_But not the story that pumped in my blood_

_When you were the savior_

_And I was the taker of_

_Oh, where I was._

_But man, oh, man, you can do what you want._

_Oh man, oh, man, you can do what you want._

_The only line that is true is the line you're from._

_And from the minute that the line got drawn_

_I couldn't see straight to you for nothing_

_Now me, I'm the poisoning one_

_I am the one._

_Edward's POV:_

I spent a great amount of time thinking about what happened with Tanya. I kept trying to figure out why she would just come out and say what she said to Bella. She was never the kind of person to try and come in between people; she wasn't manipulative at all.

The only reason I could think of is if she somehow found out that Bella was the girl who "ran over my heart with an eighteen wheeler, and then backed up to do it again", as Tanya once described it. If she did, I wouldn't be surprised if she wanted to keep her away just to protect me.

Don't get me wrong, I was glad the truth was out, because honestly, I was terrified of having to tell Bella about it. I knew I should've, but I had no idea how.

Of course, having her find out like that was wrong, which is probably why she was so disappointed in me. I could see it in her eyes, and it killed me. _You just let me down_, they silently told me when she looked up at me.

When she said she wouldn't test to see if I'd lie to her – which I wouldn't – I could tell that she genuinely wanted to trust me. She didn't even jump to any rushed conclusions. She believed me. I told her that I hadn't slept with other girls while we were sleeping together, and she believed me.

She believed me, even though it was already my second strike with her when it came to hiding things. I hadn't told her about Tanya at all, and I hadn't told her about the times I hung out with her not so long ago. And I wasn't going to go for strike three. I knew that I couldn't ever again keep anything from her, or she wouldn't be able to trust me. She demanded full honesty.

And if I wanted there to be no more secrets between us, I needed to tell her everything. We needed to get to a point where we could get on with our lives together, knowing everything there is to know about our shared history.

The subject would undoubtedly come up anyway, at one time or another. We always somehow ended up having that conversation; why had I left, two and a half years ago? Why had I cut Bella out of my life? Or, why couldn't she see that I was miserable?

Everything needed to come out in the open, and soon.

I just had to figure out how. And when. And not chicken out.

_Bella's POV:_

"Bella!" I heard my name being called. My heard spun in the direction of the almost-shriek, and the next thing I knew, I was being attacked.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella!" she shouted as she pounced on me with a hug.

"Alice, how lovely to see you," I said calmly, tapping her back with my hand, but she wouldn't let go of her too tight embrace. "Although slightly breathtaking."

"Sorry," she pulled away with a huge, bright grin on her face. "I just have the greatest news! I mean, it is big!" she said, and I chuckled, fighting the urge to crack a '_that's what she said_' joke. "For me, it is big for me," she tried to correct, only making it worse. "I mean, very exciting. In a _non sexual_ way- Bella, would you please stop laughing?"

"I'm sorry," I calmed myself down to say, still slightly panting, "You just dug that hole deeper and deeper," I said, and then when we both realized what I had just said, we started laughing together.

"Morning, girls," Rosalie said behind us. I didn't even realize she'd stepped into the store until she spoke. "What is this all about?" she asked, looking rather amused.

"Good morning, Rose," Alice grinned at her.

"Let's just say it has something to do with your boyfriend's favorite joke," I said, recalling that the first time I heard '_that's what she said_' was actually by Emmett, in Edward's house, while we were playing a video game.

Edward and I were competing against each other in a fighting game in which I'd been winning, and Edward got pissed and threw his remote on the couch, causing the batteries to somehow fall out. When he'd struggled for like an hour to put it back in its place, I stupidly said, "Come on, Edward. Just put it in and let's do this already." Enter Emmett.

"Ugh, _you're_ telling _me_ it's his favorite? I can't fucking say anything without hearing that stupid line," she complained, shaking her head in frustration.

Alice chose that time to clear her throat and remind me she had news.

"Yes, right, Alice had news," I told Rose, and then turned back to Alice. "Let's hear it," I said.

"Alright, so… Jasper and I are…" she paused to create tension, which backfired a little.

"Oh no. Please don't tell me that you're pregnant. I can't have you on maternity leave now," Rosalie interjected. "I'm short on employees as it is."

"I am _not pregnant_," Alice said in retort, putting her tiny little fists at her hips.

"Oh my god," I gasped, as the possibility dawned on me. "You're getting married!"

"No!" she said. "You people are ruining my good news!"

"Well, actually, now that we've ruled out marriage and pregnancy, that pretty much leaves moving in together," Rose decided.

"I…" Alice started, but just groaned instead.

"You guys are moving in together?" I asked hopefully, knowing how overjoyed something like that would make Alice.

"Yes," she said in defeat, before a huge grin spread across her face.

"That is so great!" I said, and now it was me who was hugging her.

"I know!" she squealed before we pulled away from each other, allowing Rosalie to wrap her arm around Alice's shoulders.

"Oh honey, you are going to love it and hate it so much," she said. I chuckled and nodded in agreement.

"Hate it? W-why would I hate it?" Alice asked in a small voice.

"You've never lived with a boy, have you?" Rose asked.

Alice shook her head, looking bedazzled.

"Boys are slobs. I mean, really. Even the ones who are extremely clean and organized are still slobs," I said.

"It's always one thing or another. Either it's leaving dirty socks hanging about, or it's drinking milk straight out of the carton, or it's not putting your hair curler back in the closet after they use it," she said, making both Alice and I scrunch our eyebrows together at the last part of her sentence.

"What? Emmett's appearance is important to him, okay?" she shrugged. "Oh, and have I mentioned snoring?" she added.

"Bella used to snore, too," Alice said in amusement. "And I didn't kick _her_ out."

_Say what now?_

"I have never snored in my life, you filthy little liar," I said slowly in amazement.

"Yes you did, in college!"

"I'll leave that for you two to figure out, I have corporate up my ass today. Oh, and clean up the storage room a little bit, please," Rosalie said, tapping our shoulders, and walked into her office.

"You got it, boss," Alice told her.

"I do not snore," I said to Alice once Rose was gone.

"You did. And you also mumbled stuff in your sleep. And not just Edward's name," she said with a smile.

"What else, then?" I mumbled warily. I hated talking in my sleep. If there was a way of utterly embarrassing yourself while not even doing anything, this was it. How coincidental that it would be one of my uncontrollable traits.

"I believe you also professed your love to Matthew Fox, and then got it on with him on the island," she said, and I gasped, recalling that very dream. "I never knew you were a Lost fan."

At least it wasn't as embarrassing as I thought it might be. I also used to have sex dreams about Edward. Before actually having sex with Edward. I tried to look mortified nonetheless.

"Good, now we're even, for ruining my big news," she said.

I chuckled. "Fine. I'm gonna go clean out the storage room a bit."

"Okay," she said, stepping behind the counter.

I started walking towards the storage room, but then stopped and turned around. "Oh, and Alice?"

"Hmm?" she raised her head.

"Congratulations. I'm really, really happy for you," I said, smiling. I knew that she knew, but it was also important to actually say it.

"Thank you, Bella," she said, her smile brightening.

Just the reaction I was gunning for.

_Edward's POV:_

I turned the small key in the lock of Bella and mine's mailbox down in the lobby. As usual, bills were the majority of it, except for junk-mail, a couple of cooking magazines Bella was subscribed to, and a small white letter with handwriting on it.

I closed the mailbox and headed to the elevator, holding the mail beneath my armpit – everything besides the letter.

I took my time to examine it while inside the slow elevator. On one side, Bella's name and address was written neatly. It had a small stamp with brown mountains and a cactus on it. I flipped it over. The other side read, _Renee Dwyer_, and an address in Phoenix, Arizona.

Apparently, Bella's mother was trying to contact her. She'd have to be pretty desperate by now to send out actual mail. I wondered if Bella hadn't gotten any calls from her that she turned down, or even emails. She and Renee used to speak to one another all the time, before what Bella referred to once as their "falling out". _Perfect timing_, I decided. It was going to have to join the long list of things Bella and I needed to talk about, hopefully tonight.

The elevator doors opened, and Bella was already standing at the doorway, leaning against the open door. She was wearing her loose pajama shorts with a tight, white t-shirt, and oh yeah – _no bra_.

I was staring at her chest, bluntly gawking at the pert little nipples peeking at me through her shirt, before she spoke and made me look up. _Oops, caught_.

"I saw you coming from the window," she said, and a smile spread on her now flushed face.

I smiled back and strode towards her until I was close enough to capture her lips, and pull her body against mine with my free hand. She was extremely forthcoming, crushing herself against me and holding my face in both her hands to keep me close. I really liked that a lot, even if we _were_ making out in the hall, where the neighbors could see us through their peep holes.

"Come here," she mumbled against my lips and pulled me inside by the shirt, as if reading my mind.

I obliged, of course, but when her kisses grew more and more fervent, I had to pull away. My plan tonight was to just talk, and she was about to make that impossible for me.

"I brought the mail," I said quickly, before she could kiss me again and make me want to give up talking.

"That's nice," she said, and pulled me in again, taking the mail from my hands and putting it down on the little side table by the door.

I kissed her back for a long moment, wondering if she knew just how tempting she was to me. I felt like I had so little control over myself, gripping her face, her hair between my hands and pressing her up against me.

I breathed Bella, tasted Bella, wanted to groan out Bella's name – _for Christ's sakes, Bella, what are you doing to me?_

She only continued. She ran her hands down my chest and abdomen, scratching her nails on my muscles until she reached the hem of my slacks. A quiet moan escaped from her lips right into mine as her fingers now moved along my shaft, making me ache all over.

"I wanted for us to talk tonight," I said breathlessly as I broke our kiss, my face only a few inches from hers. "Really talk."

"We can talk after," she panted, and brought her lips back to mine, capturing them gently, elusively again and again.

I wanted to push. I wanted to take her to bed, the only place where I could really tell her how I feel about her, in a way that was untainted by words.

I had to stop, though; right now, I _had_ to use words, and I needed to use Renee's letter to distract her from her seductive ministrations.

"There's a letter from Renee," I moved away again to say.

There was a second where she faltered, and her eyebrows furrowed. For that second, she looked pained. A moment later, she held a smooth expression, as though everything was just fine.

"Renee? My mother, Renee? She sent me a letter?" she asked, her eyes dodging mine as she let go of my body.

"Yeah, here–" I turned to go grab the letter a few steps back where she had left the mail, but she stopped me by my arm.

"No, no. That's okay. Just throw it away," she said. I examined her face, but all I could see was that she was trying really hard not to show any negative emotion on it.

"Throw it away?" I repeated. The idea sounded simply preposterous.

"Yeah. Throw it away, shred it at work, I don't care what you do with it," she said, and smiled feebly.

I didn't understand how she could want me to get rid of her mother's letter. How she could not want to read what she has to tell her. It just didn't make sense.

"But-"

"Edward, just get rid of it, okay?"

I looked at her again, trying to figure her out. She sounded composed, but Bella was never much of an actress, nor was she ever particularly good at disguising her emotions. I could tell she was hurt, so I let it be for now.

I nodded once, even though I was partial about it. Still, I wanted whatever made Bella happy.

"Thank you," she said and pecked my lips once. "I'm going to take a shower. Then we'll have that much needed talk."

She smiled before she disappeared into her bedroom, and my heart sank, because that smile was still not Bella's. I hated that gut feeling that said she was slipping away from me, but all I needed was to wait for her to calm down and just bring it up later.

I turned around and looked at the pile of mail, sighing. I went over to the little table and picked up Renee's letter. I wanted to throw it away, because that's what Bella asked – it's what she _wanted_ – but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

_Well, if she doesn't care what I do with it…_

I slipped my finger in between where the letter was sealed, but stopped short.

_Seriously? You're going to read her mail? What about her _privacy_?_

I needed to know, though. I needed to find out what had made Bella so upset that she would turn away from her own mother like that. Maybe it was a bad judgment call, but I wanted to help.

So I opened the letter, and began reading the fine, handwritten letters.

_My dear daughter,_

_How are you? I hope you're doing well. I sometimes hear about you from your father, but he's not much of a talker, as I'm sure you know. I wish things would be different. I wish you'd agree to talk to me. I can't tell you how much it breaks my heart that you, my own daughter, the most important thing to me in this world, were so badly hurt by me that you would probably never even read this letter._

_But I'm writing it still. I need you to understand what happened. You were 20, and I couldn't stop you from doing anything you wanted. But I didn't want you to run away from your problems. I couldn't watch you make the same mistakes I'd made in the past, relocating my home every time things got rough. And I knew that telling you that wouldn't have any effect, and that you would still choose to move to Phoenix and transfer to a college here no matter what I told you. My one and only option was to make you feel that you would only get in the way if you came here._

_Please, my Bella, believe me when I say that was a complete and total LIE. As a matter of fact, I was more than thrilled by the possibility of having you live with Phil and me. I just wanted you to try and work through your problems instead of turning away from them, like I learned to do the hard way. Now I wish you wouldn't have believed me._

_No, I'm not sorry about the fact that you stayed in Seattle and made a life for yourself. My only regret is hurting you, and making you feel rejected like I did. I truly believed it was the only way, but now I wonder if it was the right thing to do. Please forgive me, for everything. I want so much to talk to you, and I want to be your mother again. I will not give up on that, no matter what you do. You are my daughter, and I love you._

_With all my heart,_

_Mom._

I sighed heavily before I put the letter back in the envelope and stuffed it in my pocket.

This letter explained exactly why Bella was so reluctant to contact her mother. Renee told Bella not to come to Phoenix. It didn't explain, though, why she had wanted to move there in the first place. She never told me about that.

_Maybe that was because you stopped talking to her, you fucking asshole_.

Whatever it was that had distressed her enough to want to move all the way to Arizona, she couldn't talk to me about it because I left. God, I couldn't imagine how she must've felt, completely abandoned by her best friend, and then supposedly rejected by her mother.

I had to make this right. I would talk to Bella, try and convince her to talk to Renee. No daughter should estrange her own mother. This was clearly a misunderstanding; they just needed to work things out.

I remember feeling tired, and the next thing I knew, Bella was lying next to me on her bed and waking me up. I didn't even recall my decision to go wait for her in her room, but I imagined I must've dozed off.

"Hey," she said with a sweet smile as I opened my eyes to gaze at her. "Sorry if I took long."

I looked at the clock behind her, and realized it took her about half an hour to take a shower and change into a different shirt – one that was, unfortunately, _not_ see-through.

"I don't mind," I said truthfully as I stretched my limbs.

"Are you tired? You can go back to sleep if you want," she said.

"No, that's okay," I shook my head and sat up on the bed. "You're in the mood for an ice cream dinner?" I asked her.

She nodded, and I couldn't help but smile at the sight of her, with her bottom lip jammed between her teeth. She looked so timid and flushed, like she was still nervous by my very presence. The feeling was very much mutual.

"Stay here, I'll be right back," I told her and got up, dragging my feet all the way to the kitchen.

I came back with the ice cream bucket and a couple of spoons, climbed on the bed and offered one to Bella, who took it with a smile.

"So, how'd your work go today?" she asked me with ice cream in her mouth.

I laughed. "It went fine, my boss... You're adorable when you talk while you eat, you know," I told her. I'd been wanting to tell her that since we were 16 and having the old Monday movie nights.

"Oh, I know," she said jokingly, nodding. "Go on."

"Well, Mr. Petee was commending my excellent work all day long, so I'm guessing he got laid last night," I said, making her giggle. "Actually, I didn't tell you this, but last week he said that he might just let me intern as a salesman there once I continue with my degree."

"Oh my god, Edward, that's great," she said, but her face showed a hint of something else but happiness.

I knew why, but I still asked, "What?"

"It's just that, I don't want you to lose sight of your dream, you know?" she said with an apologetic smile.

"I won't. I'm only missing about one semester amount of credits, and once I'm out of there, I'll try to do something. Audition, or record something, I don't know. Something."

"That's good," she said, biting her lip. Cue internal groan. This talking only thing was harder than I'd thought.

"What about you?" I asked.

"What about me?" she asked, blushing now that the focus was on her.

"Last I checked, you wanted to be an author, and I haven't seen you write anything during any of these months we've spent together this year," I said.

"Yeah, um… I sort of lost my inspiration in the midst of a novel back in college. I've tried to write, I really have, but nothing comes out. It's just tiring to even _try_ anymore," she said, staring down into the ice cream bucket.

I wondered if I should tell her to try and break through the block, or just nod and shut up.

"It'll come to you, eventually," I finally decided to say. "You're great. You just have to be patient."

She shot her look up to me. "You think I'm great?"

"Is that really so surprising? I mean, you're kind of my hero," I said honestly.

"Did you bump your head on your way to the fridge?" she narrowed her eyes skeptically.

"No," I protested. "You're smart and incredibly talented, independent, stubborn as hell – so you usually get what you want, so beautiful that you don't even realize it, and you still manage to be a good person." I took a deep breath after that speech, and kind of wanted to slap myself on the forehead for the word vomit. By the time I was done her face was a lovely shade of crimson.

"I think you did bump your head," she laughed, "but I appreciate it. Especially coming from the most perfect guy in the world."

_Is this girl for real? Me? Perfect?_

I faked a heavy sigh and shook my head. "Yeah, I know," I said, and then chuckled.

"Cocky bastard," she laughed as well and bumped shoulders with me playfully.

"You love it," I bumped back. She just shook her head with a smile.

Two hours later, we were still engrossed in a conversation, the best we had had for years, probably. I almost forgot how fluid conversation with Bella could be, and how great we got along.

And then we were silent. I don't know for how long, because time just seemed to stop around us.

She sighed contently with her head leaning on my shoulder, before she sought my gaze, looking up on me.

"What?" I asked, sensing she had something to say.

"Nothing, just… I could do this forever, you know," she said quietly.

I knew exactly what she meant. She was talking about us, just being together, shut off from the world. I wondered if she specifically meant the _forever_ part, though.

"I know. So could I," I said earnestly. And I meant the forever part.

In that moment, I so badly wanted to kiss her, but I haven't told her what I'd been meaning to, yet. And since we were on the bed, and most likely to get carried away until we're both naked and sweaty, I decided to hold off with that kiss.

"Bells, why don't you talk to your mother?" I asked softly, carefully. I felt bad for reading the letter, and I wanted her to tell me herself. I wanted her to be able to trust me enough to tell me.

She stared into the ice cream bucket again. "She, um… she did something that really hurt me. I don't wanna talk about it, actually," she said with a slightly shaky voice. "Is that okay?"

I nodded, even though she wasn't looking, and said, "Yes. It's okay."

I wanted her to tell me, but I didn't want to upset her. I hoped that maybe she would come to me, when she's ready.

"Edward?" she lifted her head off my shoulder and looked straight at me.

"Yeah?" I looked back, mesmerized by those big, brown Bella eyes.

"Can I… ask you something?"

"Well, you just asked me if you can ask me a question, and by doing that you technically _already_ asked me a question, so –"

"Great, that's very amusing," she rolled her eyes.

"Sorry, sorry, what did you want to ask?"

She hesitated for a moment. "Nope, can't. You totally ruined the moment," she said, blush spreading on her smiling face.

"Come on, please?" I said, trying to convince her with my eyes. I used to do that to her all the time when we were younger, to try and get my way. Worked like a charm, by the way.

"Fine. I just wanted to know… _when_ you knew," she bit her lip.

"Knew what?"

"That you loved me," she said so quietly that I could barely make out her words. But, when I realized what she was asking, I couldn't stop from gasping. I didn't think she noticed that I did, because she just waited for an answer.

_Here it is, Edward. You wanted to tell her everything, and she just presented you with a perfectly golden opportunity to do so. All you've got to do is take it. Tell her everything._

_Bella's POV:_

After a long moment of painful hesitation, he finally answered.

"I knew I loved you, when you started dating Jacob," he said flatly.

I creased my eyebrows in confusion. What he was saying didn't make any sense. When we met this year, I wasn't dating Jacob. _Did I go on a date with Jacob and missed it?_

"I don't understand. Jacob and I haven't been dating for… unless… you mean…" I said in confusion, the wheels in my brain turning and spinning in every direction.

"When you started dating Jacob _four years ago_, Bella. That's when I knew. We weren't even eighteen yet, and I knew I loved you," he sighed out, seeming nervous.

None of it made any sense. How could it be that Edward loved me then? Was it possible that all this time I was in love with him, he was actually in love with _me_? That I wasn't alone in it, at all?

"That doesn't make sense," I whispered, shaking my head.

"It makes perfect sense, Bella. I've wanted to tell you since we met again, but I couldn't until now that we're together, and in love," he said, and then smiled so perfectly; a happy smile.

I couldn't help but smile back a happy smile of my own, and let go of any thoughts or doubts. He would never lie about something like that, so I just needed to trust him. Even if I had to change my entire perception of our past together.

"I was in love with you, too," I said joyously, making my decision to come clean about everything in that split second.

"What?" he asked, looking as shocked as I'd ever seen him.

"I have been in love with you ever since I met you. I fell for you when we were sixteen and you were my best friend. Edward, I've loved you _forever_," I said slowly, emotionally. The turmoil of sensations that was happening inside me brought me to an unbelievable high.

But he backed away from me a little, and his face turned in an expression that got me soon down from my high and brought on a new sensation of fear.

"Bella, do you realize what you're saying to me right now?" he asked, breathing in and out heavily.

"We were in love with each other," I said the unbelievable.

"We were in love with each other, for all this time, and we could've been together and spare all of the _heartache_," he nearly cried out the word, "only, _you_ dated Jacob Black instead."

"You're… blaming me for that?" I asked incredulously, hurt by his words. I was trying to figure out why he was reacting like that, why he looked so mad, and why _he_ was the one talking about heartache.

"What do you think?" he snapped.

_Okay, what the hell is happening right now?_

I huffed loudly. "Edward, you didn't even give a shit about me before I was with Jake. You said so yourself, you realized you loved me when I started dating him," I snapped back at him. "And, you know, you never said anything _either_."

"I don't know if you remember this, but we kissed at Christmas and you told me not to tell, and then ran off. What did you think _that_ kiss was all about?"

I bit my lip and shook my head. I never thought that kiss meant to him what it meant to me. I thought it was just me.

"I thought it was… I don't know, getting carried away," I admitted. "And you never actually talked to me about what you felt, not before, and not while I was with Jake. So you can't blame me for not knowing."

"Bullshit, you thought it was getting carried away," he spat the word out. "That's your insecurities right there, rearing their ugly head and telling you that nobody could possibly be in love with you."

_That's not fucking fair._

"It wasn't about just anybody; I didn't think _you_ could be in love with me," I explained. It never made sense for someone like Edward, who could have anyone in the world, to want _me_.

He got up from the bed and started pacing in front of me, looking frustrated. I gazed at him helplessly until he stopped in his place.

"You're a fool, who wasted both our time, and broke my heart over and over again," he said slowly and quietly, and made me want to cry out; I couldn't stand the thought of a broken hearted Edward. Then he started pacing again.

It just didn't register with me that I even had the power to break his heart. And maybe I should've said something, but it was too scary back then.

"I didn't want to say something and ruin our friendship forever. I rathered have you as a friend than not have you at all in my life, I needed you," I said, sitting up on my knees on the bed.

"I needed you too, and you pushed me the hell away, to make room for you new boy toy," he said, raising his voice and not even looking at me.

_What is he talking about? I was the one who pushed him away? Since when?_

"Yeah, well, you were the one who flat out stopped answering my phone calls and replying to emails, thus breaking my heart as well," I raised my voice right back. I was getting tired of being the only one that was blamed for everything that had happened.

He stopped for a moment, thrown off.

"Good thing you had your boyfriend's shoulder to cry on, then," he muttered.

"You weren't exactly left alone either, were you?" I said, getting off the bed on its other side until I faced him, the bed separating us. He knew exactly what I meant. Tanya. His _best friend from college_.

"Oh, _please_," he yelled out, running his hand through his hair. "Am I supposed to feel guilty about that? The only reason I phased you out of my life in the first place was because I couldn't be around you," he said.

I swallowed hard, leaning my back on the wall. What he was saying hurt. I was starting to see things in a whole new way, and it really fucking hurt.

He continued. "It was too much to bear, seeing you two together, or seeing you and not being able to do anything because the last time I tried something, I got shot down and was completely humiliated," he said, his voice cracking, and his green eyes staring at me with pain in them.

_Oh my god_, I thought. It wasn't him. He was not the villain in this story; I was. He only left because of me, because of what I did, because _I_ had hurt _him_. It was me all along. I tore us apart.

"The only reason I told you not to tell was because I felt guilty about cheating on Jacob. And I still couldn't regret it, because it was the most amazing moment of my life until I met you again," I tried to explain, and I could feel tears threatening to choke my throat.

"Then you should've been honest about it, and not stay with Black just because…" he said, unable to complete the sentence. "Why _were_ you with Black, anyway? Why the fuck did you start seeing him in the first place if you say you wanted me?"

His eyes were piercing, making it difficult for me to concentrate, and I thanked for the distance put between us. Those pained eyes up close would probably kill me.

"Because, I got tired of waiting for you to fucking notice me," I excused myself. "I all but stalked you, but you still didn't give me the time of day. And Jake was _there_, he was there, and wanting, and willing."

Edward winced at my last words, but I continued.

"And I knew that any day, you would get hit on by some random girl and get together with her, and I would be left devastated and alone, and watching you replace girls like any teenaged boy that looked like a fucking Adonis."

I wasn't proud of it, but it was true. I needed someone to take away the loneliness that came with loving Edward. And the fact is, if I hadn't dated Jake, Edward would never have fallen for me.

"Girls _were_ hitting on me, Bella. I turned each and every one of them down," he said.

_What? When?_

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that all I needed in my life was you, and you looked for something more," he blamed. At least he was speaking calmly now.

It was so strange to hear him say that he needed me, just me, and I didn't even know about it. Just like I didn't know about the girls.

"Why didn't you tell me? About the girls?"

"I didn't think it had any relevance," he shrugged.

"No, of course you didn't," I crossed my hands against my chest.

He narrowed his eyes. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You _pick_ and _choose_, Edward," I snapped. "You can't just tell me the whole truth, no. You have to pick and choose what I can or can't know."

"Way to change the subject, Swan," he said, crossing the room slowly over to me.

"I'm not changing the subject, okay? You could've _told_ me that girls were coming onto you, and you could've _told_ me if it bothered you that I was dating Jacob," I said, my eyes following him.

"Please. Couldn't you tell?"

"All I could tell was that you were drifting away from me, until one day you flat-out stopped talking to me."

"Right," he said as he stopped in front of me. "That must've been the day your precious boyfriend told me you fucked him."

I stopped short, unfolding my arms. _Jacob did… what?_

"_What_ did you just say?"

"Oh yeah. Didn't you know? Came up to me in that coffee shop and bragged about his latest conquest. He's a real keeper, isn't he?" Edward joked humorlessly.

Another thing that didn't make any sense. _Why would Jacob tell Edward about us having sex, and why would he brag about something that was so terrible for both of us?_

I tried speaking while thinking. "He… did that? But why would-"

"He knew I was in love with you, Bella. Seriously, how fucking blind are you?"

_Great, God knows who else that mother loving bastard talked about it to._

"If I had a baseball bat, Jacob's head would be in serious danger right about now," I said, growling. "And you know the funny thing? I cried, after."

He seemed confused. "After what?"

"After sleeping with Jacob. I cried, because I was still hung up on you. Because I felt like I did something wrong. And it was… awful. Not anything a guy would brag about," I shook my head in disgust.

"That doesn't make much of a difference," he said frankly, staring at me again. "Hearing that, it felt… like a thousand knives stabbing me at once," he continued quietly.

"Like you wanted to literally hurl your guts out?" I asked, making his face turn up in surprise. "Oh yeah. I know. It was pretty much what I _did_ when I heard little Miss Jessica describe how she deflowered you."

I almost puked in my mouth at the memory.

"Heard?" he asked incredulously.

"She went to my school, Edward. Alice and I heard her talk about it in the cafeteria," I admitted sadly.

"I… it was nothing, Bella. Nothing. I couldn't get you out of my mind, the hardest I tried. It was just another desperate attempt that went badly," he said with a broken voice, and then looked down at the ground.

"Oh, I don't know about badly. She was very pleased," I said sarcastically.

"Damn it, Bella!" he yelled, banging his open hand on the wall beside us, and surprising the hell out of me. "I was inside of her, and all I did was imagining being inside of you. I was fucking her, and all I could think about was fucking _you_."

It was unbearable to hear. It was excruciating to know what I had done to him. I wanted to take back all the pain that I caused him, and I couldn't. I wanted to turn the wheel and go back, make everything right. And again I couldn't.

"We both suffered, yes. But isn't the most important thing now is that we found our way back to each other?" I tried.

"You know what? No! It's not! You keep talking about how I should've told you about things, and you do exactly what you preach against. Why didn't you tell me about how you knew I slept with that girl? And why did you refuse to tell me why you won't speak to your mom?"

"I don't want to talk about that," I said, folding my arms again and biting my lip. She was just another person who ditched me.

"Well, it's too bad, because you're being an idiot. Your mother loves you. She wants to be in your life," he said, gripping my arms and moving them down to my sides, as if to force me to listen.

"She didn't want me in _her_ life, okay?" I said, releasing my hands from his. "When I was in college, I wanted to move to Phoenix to be with her, to be able to fucking _forget_ about you, and she didn't think it was a good idea. I guess she didn't want me to crowd her and Phil too much."

"You really are an idiot. She didn't want you to run away from your problems like she did. She was being a good mother, which you would've known if you bothered to even read her letter," he shook his head agitatedly.

_What?_

"You read that letter?" I asked, nearly whispering. I can't even describe how angry that made me; that he would read through my personal mail like that.

"What did you want me to do, Bella? You wanted me to just throw it out," he said in defeat. "I couldn't let you throw away your connection with your mother. You don't even realize how important it is, and how _lucky_ you are to even have a mother who is, thankfully, alive and well."

I closed my eyes and rested one of my hands on my chest.

_Oh god_. It never occurred to me that Edward had to witness me ignoring my mother, while he was missing his dead one. It was so unfair.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I didn't mean to–"

"I know," he said quietly, nodding. "My point is, you lecture me about picking and choosing, when all this time, _you_ could've told _me_. You could've told me about your feelings, at any point in our relationship, Bella."

"I _told_ you, I didn't want it to ruin our friendship."

"That's crap, Bella. You knew that our friendship could last through anything," he said, taking a step forward and grasping my face between his hands in a way that caused me chills, "_anything_ but dishonesty. We would've worked it out. And after our kiss at Christmas. _God_, Bella, that kiss. Didn't it nearly fucking kill you?" His eyes were boring into mine now, making my heart race. He was so close.

"Yes," I sighed out desperately. The truth was, it made me feel like the world could end that moment and I wouldn't care. It was incredible.

"Then why? Why didn't you tell me then? If you didn't regret it, then why didn't you just break up with Jacob?" he said, letting go of me and backing away. I wanted him close again.

"I don't know," I said in defeat. It was probably the worst mistake I'd ever made in my life, but that's all it was – a mistake. When I felt my eyes starting to well up, I quickly wiped any bit of wetness there with my finger.

"You don't know? You don't know?" he pressed. "You made a decision that pretty much defined both of our lives thus far; you picked him over me, and you don't even know _why_?" He seemed so frustrated with me, so insulted, that I wished I could just disappear.

He sighed deeply. "You know what? I wish I'd never have realized just how much I love you. You can't even begin to know the pain you caused me," he said, making my heart contract painfully and tears choke me again. "You say you were in love with me, but you were the one who drew a line between us – only friendship, and nothing else. We couldn't be _anything_ anymore."

I started talking while he backed away from me.

"I'm sorry," I said, not able to stop the tears. "I really am, Edward, but I was in pain too, I didn't know what I was supposed to think, and then it was too late… what are you doing?" I asked, as I saw him take out a small backpack from my closet, the one that we'd taken to the hospital the other night, taking only my clothes out of it.

"Packing," he said simply and walked out of the room. I followed him into his.

I wanted to scream at him not to do this, but all I could do was tear up even more.

"You're leaving?" I asked with a cracked voice, while he took out some shirts and threw them into the bag.

"I need some time to be alone," he said as he slipped his shoes on while still standing up, and threw the bag over his shoulder.

"Where are you going to stay?" I asked, not registering any of it. How was it possible for this evening, this _perfect_ evening, to turn into this huge fight? I felt like I needed to ask the right questions before he disappeared, and I felt like I wasn't saying what I really wanted to say. I wanted to beg him to stay, but it felt unreal that he was even leaving.

"I'll figure something out," he said, leaving the room and walking the hallway and towards the door.

"No," I yelled out after him. "Wait," I yelled again through my tears and ran to him at the door.

He caught me as I crashed into him, and he kissed me back when I pressed my lips to his. He gave entrance when my tongue sought his; he groaned back when I sighed into him; he held onto me when I held onto him.

And when he broke the kiss, I saw that he also shed tears when I shed tears.

He took a deep breath, and gripped my shoulders gently, putting some distance between us. "I'm sorry, Bella. I just don't think I can get past this."

_He doesn't mean it. He can't mean it._

"What are you saying?" I asked, barely even able to use my own voice.

He took a long moment, gazing sadly into my soggy eyes with his, before answering the question that I never wanted him to answer.

"What I thought I'd never say," he said in a broken voice.

I shook my head, tried to speak, but no voice came out. My eyes pleaded his silently, but he averted them away. He reached his pocket, took out a letter, and placed it on the little table by the door. My mother's letter.

And then he left.


	25. The Following Week

_**A/N**__: Hi there! Here's another chapter, hope the wait wasn't too long! I'm afraid to say that the next chapter will be the last one – *sobs quietly* - which is why it will take a little longer than usual. See, I have TONS of exams coming up this month and I don't want to rush the last chapter and be disappointed in it, or disappoint you guys. Thanks for your patience!_

_As to your reviews, I imagined some of you wouldn't be too happy with Edward (or with me for that matter, lol), but overall I think it's pretty understandable why he would react this way, and you might understand a bit better after reading this chapter. I know last one was drama-full, but like antariangirl93 said, that's what happens when things get bottled up. And __**I cried too**__, while writing it lol._

_Thank you for all your kind words and for feeling sad (aka caring) about my Edward and Bella. Special thanks to: emeraldmoon14, BonesnBooth4ever, Camilla, JannalovesJess, Melee03, Puasluoma, antariangirl93, superantona, bloftus, chewycui, iwannabe, AlyssaBlack, Sherry80, and my girl __**Jerz-Alice-Babe**__!_

_Always remember – things get a little bit worse before they get better ;)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight._

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**Chapter 25: The Following Week.**

_Edward's POV:_

I knocked on the wooden door three times and waited. I didn't want to ring the bell at such a late hour.

I didn't have to wait long before my dear brother opened the door, and stood before me with a frown on his face.

"Hey man," he said, and made room for me to come in.

"Thanks," I said and walked in hesitantly. I didn't know where Rosalie was, but I assumed she was asleep.

"No problem," he said, closing the door behind me.

I took a moment to look around, check out the place. The two floor apartment was pretty big and spacey, but it still somehow managed to give you a cozy kind of feeling. From what little I'd known her, this place was exactly Rosalie. Besides the dirty t-shirt and socks on the couch – those were a definite Emmett.

"Make yourself at home," he said, looking at the backpack on my shoulder.

I put it down by the stairs and followed Emmett to the kitchen, where he took out two bottles of beer out of the fridge without even asking if I wanted one. Maybe because he knew I needed one.

"So is Rosalie upstairs?" I asked, sitting down at one of the bar stools there.

"Actually," he said, while opening the beers with a bottle opener, "Rose is at Bella's."

I mentally cringed. I wasn't really expecting to hear her name anywhere in Emmett's answer, and a sharp stab of pain hit me in the chest.

"At… Bella's? What is she doing there?" I asked as he put our beers on the table and sat down on a stool in front of me. "Thanks," I said and took a long sip.

"I don't know. Whatever girls do in this kind of situation," he said, rubbing the back of his neck like he always did when he wanted to keep his opinion to himself – which wasn't so often, by the way. And he wasn't drinking, either. Just playing with the bottle.

I took another big sip before I said, "say what you want to say, Em."

"You're a huge fucking idiot, you know that?" he immediately spilled out.

His words definitely stung, but I expected nothing different from Emmett. Nothing but the cold, hard truth, that is.

I shrugged and drank some more.

The situation was seriously messed up, and truthfully, I wasn't entirely sure I did the right thing by leaving _her_ like that. But I did feel that I needed some time away from her. There was just so much to digest at once. All this time I thought she loved Jacob, and she actually loved me. Or at least she thought she loved me, because I really didn't get how you can love someone and be with someone else at the same time.

It made me so angry that she had been so reluctant to face the reality. All of that endless flirting between us, or the way I looked at her, or the way I kissed her back then – none of it made her even consider that I might've had feelings for her. She thought so little of herself that she didn't think it was possible, and I was the one who ended up feeling fucking tortured.

I handled it, when I thought it was because she didn't have feelings for me, but now that I knew that she did, I felt like she robbed us both from a life together.

"Edward, I'm really trying to understand you here," he tapped his fingers on the table to regain my attention. "Can you please just explain to me why the hell you would leave Bel… her?"

"I need some time to think," I said, averting his angry looks. I think it was probably the first time Emmett felt like the older brother he was to me, instead of a younger brother.

"Think about what?" he banged his open hands on the table.

I looked up at him in question. "Why are you so worked up about this?"

"Because I care about her too. She's been like a sister to me. And I know, I know she hurt you, I remember what it was like for you. But these last few months… you're the happiest I've ever seen you. So why would you fuck that up?"

I sighed. It was hard for me to explain to him why I needed time, because I wasn't so sure myself.

"She says she's been in love with me since we were sixteen," I said quietly. I felt so guilty for my reaction. She probably expected me to laugh and call what we have fate, and instead I yelled at her and left. And still I couldn't just apologize and forget about it. I felt fucking hurt.

"What?" he said in shock, leaning back on his chair and gripping his head. "That's heavy, dude," he said as he leaned forward again and started drinking.

"Yeah," I agreed with his understatement.

"So what's the problem?" he asked.

"Are you serious?" I asked disbelievingly. "She was in love with me and she stayed with fucking Jacob Black, and I was left moping in my dorm room like a girl."

"Thought you said you weren't moping."

"I was moping, okay?" I glared at him.

It just felt like my entire grown life had been about my unrequited love for Bella, about wanting Bella and not being able to have her. This had been the essence of my entire being until now, and I needed to take a step back and find _myself_ in all of it.

"Fine, I get it. Still, you guys got together again, right?"

"Well, yeah, but –"

"Then why screw it up? Doesn't it seem to you, like all of what happened would be for nothing if you leave her? And you know you're never going to find someone like Bella again."

"I know that. Don't you think I know that?" I snapped at him.

"So _just let it go_," he said and got up. "I'm gonna go to bed. You think about our little talk here," he said, tapping my shoulder.

I just kept quiet, until he was gone and I was left alone, drinking both my beer along with Emmett's.

* * *

Bella's POV:

As soon as I opened the door, four girly arms wrapped around me, making me almost actually smile.

"I'm fine," I told the girls, whom I guessed already knew what happened somehow.

They both pulled back and looked at me, in a way that made me feel kind of pathetic, like I was being felt sorry for. I didn't need that.

"I really am fine," I said. "How did you know?"

"Stupid brother number 1 called stupid brother number 2 and asked him if he can stay at our place. So of course stupid brother number 2 called me to ask permission since it's basically my apartment, so I figured I should get my ass – and, well, Alice's – over here," Rose said.

_So that's where he went_, I sighed in relief.

Frankly, I was just glad he had somewhere to go and he didn't have to spend the night on some bench (although he would probably deserve it), or worse, at a certain old friend's place.

_You know he wouldn't do that._

I shoved the voices in my head back where they were effectively muffled. The only thing positive about this was the fact that I didn't have to be worried about him anymore. Now I could enjoy my pure, unadulterated _rage_ towards him.

"We brought stuff," Alice said, looking towards a few bags they left at the door so they could smother me with their hands.

"You didn't have to. I'm fine," I repeated.

By the time the girls got here, I already managed to stop crying and being sad, and started doing something much more reasonable. Being furious.

"We brought margarita mix," Alice corrected herself.

_Thank the lord_.

"Come on in," I said in the most welcoming tone I could muster.

They got the bags and set the things in the kitchen. There was everything, and I mean everything. They got chocolates. They got chips and snacks. They got ice cream – though I couldn't even look at it, because I just had an ice cream dinner which led to disaster. They got everything it takes to make a pitcher of margaritas. And they brought Kleenex.

"You brought the whole store," I said, looking at them unpacking the stuff.

They exchanged quick glances. "Um… we didn't know what condition we were going to find you in," Alice said carefully, and put the Kleenex quickly back in the brown bag.

"Well, as you can see, I'm fine," I said, and looked down at myself.

_Okay, so I might look like a couch potato in my pajamas and my probably messed up hair, but at least I don't look like a train wreck. I think._

"Actually, your eyes are kind of puffy," she said as if reading my mind. "We should make homemade masks! You have cucumbers, right Bells?"

"I'm not putting vegetables on my face, Brandon," Rose stated, making Alice turn back to me and pout.

"I'm not, either," I said, taking advantage of my escape window. "And my eyes are _fine_."

I was fine. _Fine_.

One pitcher of margaritas later and the three of us were sitting on the carpet of my living room again, and Rose was given a complete update on the situation between Edward and me. We decided not to make more than one pitcher for all of us, since we had to work tomorrow – and also because I preferred Alice _not_ to get sick again. We _were_ a bit tipsy, though.

"I cannot believe he just left," I said angrily, holding the last margarita drink in one hand, and throwing the other hand about. "Who does he think he is, anyway?"

"_They_ think, that just because they're ridiculously good-looking, they can get away with anything," Alice nodded with a beer that Rosalie got both of them from my fridge.

"Guys are such complete morons sometimes," Rose complained. "And the thing is, they can be so charming when they want to."

"Ha! See, that's the trick. They glamour us with their charms and adorableness until we're sucked in, and _bam_! They leave," I said, probably pretty loudly.

"Or they're just being morons," Rose repeated.

"You know I literally had to _drag_ Jasper out of his parents' basement? I mean, you're 26, for god's sakes, do you really feel comfortable with the fact that your mommy washes your underwear?"

"That's 'cause they're all man-child inside," I mumbled.

"And Emmett," Rose clipped. "He does literally everything I ask and agrees with everything I say, just because I'm hot, and you know, awesome in bed. I mean, I never said I wouldn't put out if he had his own opinion every now and then, you know?"

"Well, at least they didn't walk out on you two, for dating another guy like 60 years ago," I said, emptying my glass of blissful liquor with that, and putting it on the table behind me.

"Aww, Bells," Alice leaned her head on my shoulder.

"Do you want me to kick his ass?" Rose asked with a solemn look on her face.

I did not want the pity treatment. I was not that girl who would spend days and days crying over a guy. Even if that guy _was_ Edward-obviously-too-good-to-be-true-Cullen.

"No," I said, accentuating the word. "I am perfectly fine."

"Yeah, you've said," Alice nodded, her eyes staring into the space. She _so_ didn't believe me.

"Honey, it's okay if you're not," Rosalie said. She didn't believe me either.

"But I am," I retorted. "What, just because the only guy I've ever loved just left and probably isn't coming back – because I did the stupidest thing ever – I should be out of sorts?"

I was not going to be one of those girls. I was fine on my own.

"As long as you're fine, then," Alice said, drinking her beer.

How in the world did things manage to get so royally fucked up tonight? We were sitting peacefully, eating away at a bucket of ice cream, before I just _had_ to ask him the girliest fucking question in the history of the world.

I sighed deeply.

"You know," I said, I leaned my head against Alice's shoulder this time. "That's Edward's beer," I half spoke, half whined. She patted it with her hand gently as we all sat in silence.

_So maybe I'm not_ that _fine_.

* * *

_Edward's POV:_

"No, Esme, I'm fine," I mustered up my best convincing voice as I stirred the cereal in the milk with my spoon, unwilling to eat it.

"A few years away from us and I'm already demoted from 'mom' to 'Esme'?"

I guessed she was right. Carlisle and she did so much for me – the main thing being adopting me like 10 years ago. I thought I owed her as much as to call her mother.

"Sorry, mom. But really, I'm okay."

"Really? Honey, because you don't sound okay. Are you eating anything? You know breakfast is the most important meal of the day, right?"

God knows I'd heard it enough times in my life, and by two different moms. "I'm eating a bowl of cereal as we speak," I said, picking some up with my spoon and dropping them back into the milk.

"I don't hear you chewing," she said.

"That's just because of my impeccable upbringing. One mustn't chew and talk at the same time," I lied. The truth was I was feeling a bit too sick with myself to actually eat.

"Don't you lie to me, Edward Anthony," she said, and for a moment I squirmed in my chair at the sound of my full name, which was seldom used without the intention of scorning me. "I want to know what's going on."

"Mom… nothing," I said, sipping a bit of the orange juice that Rosalie said was absolutely fine if I poured myself, before she left for work.

Actually, when I asked her, she just nodded and gave me the scariest look I'd ever gotten. I'd also attempted to ask her how Bella was doing, but she just huffed and scowled at me again.

"Too late, Emmett already told me something's up with you," she said in triumph.

_Fucking Emmett, when did he even get the chance?_

I sighed. "Well, I guess we haven't caught up in a long time. You remember the flood I had in my apartment?" I asked.

"Yeah, you wanted to come here, but eventually you told me you worked something out," she said, trying to figure out what it had to do with my current situation.

I explained everything.

I explained to her how I stayed with Bella, how we eventually started dating each other (of course, I left out the part where we had tons and tons of no-strings-attached sex beforehand), and then I proceeded to admitting she was right all along, and I was completely into Bella when we were younger, and since. And then I told her about the previous night.

"Well, I can't say I'm surprised," she said, as opposed to the 'oh my god' I thought she would say. "How she felt about you showed on her, just like how you felt about her showed on you."

"Even while she was dating Jacob?" I asked skeptically. I just couldn't understand how you can tell a person has feelings for someone while he's going out with someone else.

"Yes," she said, to my great surprise. She must've had some motherly intuition as to what nobody else could know. "Although, I didn't see her as much after that. I guessed you two would grow apart once she had a boyfriend, but I never imagined you to altogether stop speaking to each other."

"Actually, that may have been my fault," I sighed again, and pushed the bowl of inedible cereal away from me. "It was just so hard to watch them together, mom."

"I can imagine that it was," she said.

I smiled to myself. She was probably the one person in the world who would never judge me on anything.

"I miss you guys," I said sincerely. There were times in a man's life where he needed a mother and father, even if they were his adoptive ones.

"Good. Because I have a suggestion," she said with a hint of a smile in her voice.

_A suggestion?_

"What is it?" I asked curiously.

"Carlisle and I were thinking that perhaps you could come and visit us for a few days," she said.

"In L.A?"

"Yes. You could use time off work, and obviously you need some alone time to think things over," she said, proving just how well she knew me. "Although I already know what your conclusion is going to be."

I chose to ignore her last comment and just consider the suggestion for a moment. Time off would be really great, if I could get some from Petee, and I really did miss Carlisle and Esme. Emmett was there for a visit not long ago, but it's been years since _I_ had seen them.

Finally, I grinned and said, "See you soon, mom."

Clearing my head in a different environment was exactly what I needed right now.

The following week went by so incredibly slow. I constantly had to fight the urge to call Bella just to check up on her. Rosalie wouldn't say a word to me, which made me assume all the more that Bella wasn't in a very good place right now.

Besides, I just missed her so fucking much. Even her morning grumpiness. Or especially her morning grumpiness (Emmett was so cheerful in the mornings). And I missed looking at her, touching her, kissing her. It was so hard to even just fall asleep at night thinking about her tiny, warm, sexy body not being there beside mine. I had never wanted to spoon someone so badly in my life.

But every time I thought about her, I thought about all that's happened, and Jacob Black, and the motherfucking pain, and I knew that without time apart, Bella and I wouldn't stand a chance at a normal relationship, if we could still even have one.

Emmett thought it was a good idea to go visit our parents. If I recall his exact words, he said I was doing nothing but work and walk around like a zombie anyway. And all _he_ did was smack me on the head and call me an idiot every now and then. He was probably right about that.

Petee was a little reluctant about letting me take a few days off, but since I was legally entitled of some, he didn't really have a choice.

So when the day came, I packed what little luggage I had, which was basically the small backpack full of shirts and a toothbrush. I planned on buying a suitcase and a few things to put in it, in L.A.

I was already anxiously waiting on the couch in the empty apartment when I heard the cab honk downstairs. I sprung off the couch, grabbed my bag and my plane ticket and passport, and went downstairs.

On my way out of the lobby, I saw Rosalie approaching the door on the other side. She opened it and once again, glared at me. She hadn't spoken two words to me all week, and from how Emmett followed her like an apologizing puppy, I guessed she was pretty mad at him, too, because of me. She was a loyal friend to Bella, which I appreciated, but I still thought it was best not to say too much.

"Evening, Rosalie," I said formally.

She didn't answer, like I anticipated, but she looked at me strangely. Not just angrily, but as if something had surprised her.

I just brushed it off and kept my way to the cab. In a few hours, I would be away from the rainy weather and in the bright light of the sun, eating a home cooked meal Esme already notified me she was making.

I wished Bella was with me.

_

* * *

Bella's POV:_

I sat on a stool behind the counter and stared at one of the book shelves, my arms crossed against my chest, as I thought about the past week.

It's been hellish, obviously. I'd swapped between missing Edward and being incredibly angry at Edward so many times through this week, that whoever witnessed it was bound to get a whiplash.

Yesterday, for instance, I was going through my drawers looking for my iPod, when I found _the list_, in which I laid down the rules of living together, in one of them. What followed was plopping down on my bed and staring at the ceiling for a long, long time.

It felt so empty in the apartment without him. It felt so empty not to be able to come home and find his perfect boy lips smirking at me, and to put my hands in his messy hair and kiss those stupid lips. And then – after a much satisfying sexual encounter, of course – be able to tell him about my day, and hear about what he's going through.

And then I thought about how he was the one who left, and that he probably wasn't missing me at all, any of those things, or he would've come back or at least _called_, and I was livid again. And then I _may have_ walked into his room, took one of his favorite shirts, and threw it in the dryer to shrink.

"_Excuse_ me," I heard an angry voice.

I turned my gaze and found myself staring at a female client who awfully resembled Kathy Bates. "Yeah?"

"I've been trying to pay for these books for the past two minutes and you haven't so much as looked in my direction until now," she fumed, gesturing towards a stack of Stephen King books, ironically.

"You were standing there for two minutes?" I asked, surprised that I didn't see her. She was hardly unnoticeable.

"Yes! Now can I buy these books or should I go to Barnes and Noble?" she said with one hand on her hip.

"Hi there," Alice popped up of nowhere next to me, putting her tiny hands on my shoulders and scooting me away from my faithful stool and aside. "How may I assist you?"

"I'd like to pay for these," the woman said, slightly more calm. Alice had that effect on people, so I just stood and said nothing, and appreciated that she came to the rescue.

"No problem," she said cheerfully and started scanning the books. "Would you like me to gift wrap them?"

"No, thank you," the woman answered politely as she took some money out of her purse.

"That would be 33.95," she said with a smile, and took the money she handed her. I have to say I was thoroughly impressed with her customer service skills. I would've had the woman screaming in a matter of minutes.

"Thank you so much for shopping at our store. Please come back soon," Alice said as she handed her the change and the bag of books.

"I will," she smiled. "No thanks to her," she added a moment later, sans the smile, in reference to me.

I smiled and waved goodbye to her.

"What is wrong with you?" Alice asked me the moment the customer left. That's when I noticed Spanish Guy – well, Julian – was standing next to one of the shelves and looking in our direction. Except he averted his look just as I caught him stare.

"Nothing, I'm-"

"You're _fine_, I know," she rolled her eyes.

"That's completely right," I said.

"Well, don't take 'being fine' out on the customers. Rosalie might be our friend but when it comes to business she's a shark, and I don't want you fired," she whisper-yelled at me.

"Are you calling me a bad employee?" I asked.

She gave me a look and took out a cell phone out of her pocket. Apparently it was vibrating. "And there she is right now," Alice said. "Hello?"

I waited to see what she says. "Mm hmm. Yeah, she's right here. Why is your phone on silent mode?" she asked me.

"Because I'm a good employee," I answered with a scowl. "Hand it over."

She gave me the phone. "Rose?"

"Bella," she breathed. "Look, I have to tell you something, but don't freak out."

Cue the freak-out. _Does she not know that when you tell someone not to freak out, they freak out?_

"What is it? Did something happen? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, but," she sighed. "I just ran into Edward on my way into the building. He was leaving, with a plane ticket in his hand. I think he was going to the airport."

I just stood there and blinked as my heart sunk. I couldn't think of anything to say to that. Edward was leaving the country? Maybe he was going to stay with Carlisle and Esme. Maybe he was going to stay there until his school starts again and he can live in the dorms.

_He's not coming back. He's leaving me._

"Thanks for letting me know," I told Rose dryly and hung up.

_How could he just abandon me like that again? And all because of something that happened so long ago, when we were still kids?_

I could not believe this was happening. Whatever I did, it did not justify hurting me like this. I was better off the way I was before I ran into him. I was alone, but at least I weren't miserable. I didn't know what it was like, being with Edward, touching Edward, having him all to myself. And I was fine. Now that I knew what it was like to have Edward, and then lose him… I was not fine.

"Edward's leaving," I told Alice. "He's flying somewhere. L.A, I think."

"Oh my god, Bells," she whispered. "Are you okay?"

"No. You know what? He does not get to do that to me," I said seethed. "I don't deserve it. I'm just- I'm not even-" I sighed out, unable to even finish my own sentence.

And then, just as I raised my gaze, I saw him again. Julian. He was browsing through books now, looking distracted.

Resolute, I walked over to him and said hi.

"Ah, beautiful Bella," he said, turning his full attention to me. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, perfect," I smiled to him. "I was just wondering if you would like to go out for drinks. My shift is ending just now."

He scanned my face up and down. "What about your man?" he asked.

"He's no longer my man."

He paused, looking thoughtful. "But you must still-"

"Nope," I said before he could finish the sentence.

He just raised a skeptic eyebrow.

"Look, do you want to take me out or not? Cause if you don't, I'll just go drinking alone," I said impatiently.

He shook his head slowly. "Okay. I want to take you out."

"Good," I smiled.

"Bells, can you come over here for a moment, please?" Alice asked me in the same polite manner she used with the customer.

"Sorry," I said to Spanish Guy, and walked over to the counter to speak to Alice, even though I knew exactly what she had to say. "Yes?"

"Bella, please think about what you're doing," she said cautiously. "You're not ready to date some other guy. What about your feelings for Edward?"

"What about them?" I said, my voice just low enough so that he won't be able to hear me. "He knows exactly how I feel about him, and yet he goes off to god-knows-where without saying _a word_ to me about it. So yeah, I know what I'm doing."

"I don't think you should go, Bella," she attempted again.

"Well, I'm going to," I shrugged.

And with that, my decision was made. I would not be hung up on Edward. If he doesn't want me, then fine.

So I went over to Spanish Guy and said, "Come on, let's go", before I literally hauled him out of the store, still feeling Alice's gaze on my back.

_

* * *

Alice's POV:_

I tried to stop her. I really did. But she was too stubborn to budge. Why must people be this blind as to their feelings? Bella had been walking around all week claiming she was fine. She was the farthest of "fine" I had ever seen. She was sad. And if you're sad, you should own up to it, instead of pretending you're mad.

But nooo. Bella had to be angry. And now she was gone with the Spanish dude to drink herself to oblivion, and lord knows what else. And of course, she wouldn't listen to me. Who ever listens to me?

I needed to save my friend. And when you're trying to save a friend, you should do it with all means necessary, right?

See, that's the reason I called the only person able to assist, to ask for help. I just hoped that person would be willing to help.


	26. The Other Guys

_**A/N – PLEASE READ THIS, GUYS**__: Hey y'all! How's it going? I know this one was the longest waiting yet, but it's the last chapter, so I thought it deserved some extra writing time! (Plus, you know, all my exams got in the way). Anyway, I hope you'll like it, 'cause if you don't – I'll probably go jump off a bridge or something. Just kidding. But I will cry. No kidding there._

_Some last words: This story has been my baby since I've started it… I'm very much in love with it, and with __**you**__! I know I don't have as many readers as other stories might have, but I'm thankful for each of you, because I could not have gotten better readers than you people! So thank you for being so spectacular!_

_You can look forward to an __**epilogue**__ chapter and also a nice little __**outtake**__, so look for updates from me! :)_

_Special thanks to: emeraldmoon14, .Pixie, the awesome JannalovesJess, Camilla, __**my babe Jerz-Alice**__, antariangirl93, BeckyluvsTwilight, bloftus, Sherry80, puasluoma, iwannabe, thamker, angel-cordy, and Alyssa Black._

_Just so you know, I read all of your comments, several times, and never fail to appreciate your kind words (thank you to all of you who wished me good luck, btw)! I've really come to __**love**__ you guys, and I sure will miss you!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight._

_

* * *

_

**Chapter 26: The Other Guys.**

_Bella's POV:_

I woke up to the sound of dishes being moved around in the kitchen. Only it didn't sound like _my_ kitchen. It sounded like it was farther than just a hall away – like it was coming from downstairs – and my apartment was definitely no duplex. The bed was also considerably more comfortable than my own.

I wanted to open my eyes, but my stupid eyelids just refused to cooperate, something that could only suggest the belting down of large amounts of alcohol last night.

_Yeah, that might also be the reason for your pounding headache, dumbass_.

I rubbed my eyebrows intensely to ease the _hammering_ (which was probably the result of me getting _hammered_) going on in my head and try to remember the exact details of last night. I wanted to remember every little detail, but the task proved to be harder than I'd expected. I didn't even know where I was, and I was not sensing a lot of clothes on my skin.

_Maybe it would help if I opened my eyes_, I thought.

I strained to open them, almost expecting to see something shocking or, at least, helpful. It was just a regular bedroom suite with a noticeably huge bed, another door which probably led to a bathroom, and – oh yeah – a terrace.

_Definitely not _my_ place. And definitely not on the ground floor. And definitely too bright_.

I averted my eyes, closing them back shut and working my every brain cell to try and remember what the hell happened.

_Okay, the last thing I remember, the last thing I remember…_

_"I think he's going to the airport,"_ I heard a voice echoing through my mind. I grasped my head, because that actually hurt a little.

_Rose. Rose was telling me that Edward is going away, and I got upset and – oh, shit – I asked Spanish Guy out. Try to remember._

I took a calming breath, praying to god what I thought happened didn't happen, and let the details of my whereabouts last night just come to me.

_14 hours earlier, the bar and fusion place close to the book store._

"Thanks," I told the hostess who sat us down at a table in the crowded place.

"No problem," she said as she put two menus in front of us, and left, barely tearing her eyes away from Julian. I smirked while taking my menu and having a look at it.

_I would almost be jealous, if I weren't still... whatever, looking at the menu_.

They literally had everything, from American kitchen to Italian to Chinese, anything a person could even think of ordering. And the thought of every kind of food made me feel sick.

"I don't understand why we had to come here and not just some bar," I grimaced. "I'm not hungry, and you said you weren't either."

I just wanted to drink until I couldn't remember my own name, or Edward's, that's all.

"Because, Isabella, if you're going to get yourself drunk like I think you are, you better get some food into your stomach as well," he answered with a small knowing smile that reminded me of Alice.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," I said in defeat. Everyone seemed to know what I needed better than I did.

"I bet I can guess what you wouldn't mind eating," he said, smiling at me impishly.

I raised an eyebrow in return. "Go ahead," I told him. I was suddenly curious; what would this guy actually know about me?

He signaled the waitress to come over, who immediately gave him a great, big smile and rushed towards us.

_Seriously, what's with women ready to throw themselves at this guy?_

"Are you ready to order?" she asked, and I had to stop myself from laughing at the sound of her somewhat _seductive_ tone.

"Yes, I'll have Spaghetti Bolognese and a bottle of Corona, and _this_ lovely lady will have the Greek salad with the house dressing and also bread and butter on the side, aaand a martini Bianco with extra olives," he said, handing her both our menus and giving me a triumphant look. The waitress frowned at the lack of attention he gave her and started to walk away.

"And a couple shots of whatever, please," I added.

"What's 'whatever'?" she said curtly.

"Surprise me," I smiled to her sweetly, and she continued to walk away, rolling her eyes silently at me.

_Yeah, no tip for you, honey._

"I'm driving, I can't drink," he said once she walked away.

"Their both for me."

"Of course they are," he laughed. "So how did I do?"

"Okay, okay. I'll admit it. I love salad and I love cheese in a salad, but I would say a margarita would be my drink of choice," I said.

"I figured that, but a margarita wouldn't go with the salad as well as a martini would," the smart-ass said.

"And how exactly did you figure out that I'm a margarita girl?"

"There's just something about girls who like tequila and fruit. Besides, I tend to get a good read on people."

"Are you getting a good read on _those two_?" I asked him, signaling my head not-so-subtly towards the waitress and hostess who were giggling next to the bar and sending looks towards him.

He looked in their direction and immediately turned back, his face turning into bright red.

_Man, is blushing that obvious on my face too?_

"That, well… that happens. Does it bother you? We can go someplace else," he said timidly.

"No, that's okay. I don't care," I blurted out without thinking.

He averted his eyes away from me and nodded slowly. "Right."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that," I apologized, mentally berating myself for being such a bitch. Could I have made it anymore obvious that he's not the one I was interested in? "I'm just the queen of tactfulness, aren't I?"

"Hey," he said. "Don't worry about it. I just want you to have a good time," he continued, just as the waitress put the shot glasses, and Spanish Guy's beer in front of us.

"Thanks," I said, and took one of the glasses in my hand. "Here's to having a good fucking time," I smiled to him.

He laughed. "To a good fucking time," he raised his bottle of beer and drank from it.

Looking at him, I emptied the shot glass in my mouth, taking in the strong waves that came after I swallowed the beverage.

"Apparently, she decided to surprise me with straight Gin. This is gross," I said, looking at the other shot glass.

"Actually, that's good. It isn't smart to mix two kinds of alcohol, and there's already Gin in the Martini," he smiled at me. How sweet could a guy get? He didn't even care if I drank myself out of my own misery.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Feel free to," he said.

"Why did you agree to come with me tonight?"

He thought about it for a moment. "Because I want to get to know you," he finally said.

I smiled to him. "Okay, so _this_ one is to getting to know each other," I raised the other shot glass, and powered it down as well.

About an hour later, we were finished eating and I was definitely finished with drinking. No more alcohol needed to get _this_ girl drunk. We were also engaged in a fascinating conversation about… well, about anything that would get my mind off the ugly reality.

"Okay, my turn. Who-what was your first pet?" I said, stumbling upon my own words.

"If I remember correctly, my first pet was a fish called Eliza," he recalled. "I went on a camping trip with my father and my sister forgot to feed her."

"Aww," I said sadly. "I'm so sorry. Did you flush her down the toilet?"

"God no, she was a piranha," he laughed. "We were just lucky my sister didn't get eaten."

I giggled excessively. Yes, I was drunk enough to giggle. "Do you only have the one sibling?"

"Yes. But I believe it's my turn now," he said, looking at me down and up.

"Okay. Shoot."

"Remember, we said only honest answers," he reminded me.

"I remember," I said, prompting him to ask.

"Alright. If the circumstances were different, would you go out with me again?" he asked, looking suddenly insecure of himself.

"What are you talking about, different circumstances? Of course we'll go out again," I said, eyeing him over-flirtatiously.

He just frowned. "So much for honesty."

"What?" I asked.

"Fine. Since I answered two questions, it's my turn again. What is the worst thing that anyone has ever done to you?" he asked, looking fiercely into my eyes.

I felt like he was digging up old wounds – or not so old wounds – and just picking at them as if he was trying to find the bullet or something. He was trying to force me into facing the truth, while I was still much less than ready to do it.

"You know, I believe my questions were a lot easier than yours," I frowned.

"Please?" he asked, his big brown eyes looking at me from beneath his thick lashes. He looked like a sad little puppy.

"Cutting me out of their lives," I answered eventually, and searched for perhaps another drop of alcohol left in my second martini glass. Unfortunately, and fortunately, there was none.

"Their?" he asked in surprise.

"Yes. You'd be surprised how often that happens to me," I said solemnly, thinking about my mother. At that moment, I realized I haven't really sat down to read her letter just yet, although I _have_ formed a decision to do it.

The truth was that the fact that my own mother and Edward had both refused to have me in their lives at one point – or two points for Edward – seriously got to me. What the hell was wrong with me, anyway, that made everyone just run off and try to avoid ever seeing me again?

Okay, maybe that was just the alcohol making me exaggerate in describing of the situation – _but_, I still felt like a reject.

I hoped that maybe if I read that letter, just maybe it would say that my mother really only did it for my own good. You know, that maybe I wouldn't be a _complete_ reject. Besides, having all this alone time without Edward only made me realize just how much I missed her. Especially after rightfully being called an idiot for not speaking to her, by Edward.

"I'm over it, though," I added. "I'm not going to dwell on this any longer. If a guy doesn't want to be with me, however stupid the reason is, I'm not going to… you know, _beg_ or something," I said, even though that was exactly what I felt like doing. Strong women shouldn't beg, right?

_Am I strong? I actually don't really feel that strong._

"Everybody needs time to dwell after a breakup, Isabella," he said, leaning forward as if he was telling me a secret, "It's not easy, but it's the only way to really move on."

"But that's the thing. It wasn't really a breakup. It was just – he just left. He didn't even bother to give us some sort of closure," I said, realizing it for the first time myself.

And actually, I didn't think I _wanted_ closure. I just wanted him back. I wanted what we had back. I hadn't only lost love. I had lost the best friend I'd ever had. How does someone even get over that? I _wasn't_ over it, and I didn't _want_ to be over it.

"Are you okay?" he asked after a long silence. It occurred to me that he was a really nice guy. Not just nice. _Perfect_ even. He was this incredibly nice, perfect guy who was sitting in front of me on our supposed _date_ and asking me if I was feeling bad, because he knew I couldn't stop thinking about someone else.

"No. No, I don't think I am," I admitted this time. All it took for me to realize how fucking _sad_ I was, was to distract me from my anger towards Edward.

"Isabella, you asked me why I agreed to come here with you tonight," he started. "And what I told you was only part of the reason. I knew you were going to get drunk, and I know you're not over him. But you said if I didn't come with you, you would go alone, and I didn't want you to do anything stupid. I thought that maybe I could help you come to your senses."

He was right about _one_ thing. If I had come alone, I'd probably leave this bar drunk as a poet on pay day and with some random guy.

"I am in my senses," I said speciously. "Don't you think I know how stupid I'm being? I mean, here I am, sitting with you – a _perfect_ Spanish guy with a _perfect_ Spanish accent, who's freaking educated and good looking and nice – and I love _Edward_, and he's going to board his flight," I whined drunkenly and rested my head between my folded arms on the table.

"Exactly," he said. "So what are you going to do about it?"

"What do you mean?" I said, not taking my head out.

"Edward, he's the love of your life, yes?" he asked.

"Mm hmm," I answered, lifting my head to look at him curiously now.

"And you want him to stay, right?"

"Yeah," I said vigilantly.

"Then what are we still doing here?"

And then something clicked. He was right. If this were a movie, this was the part where the heroine would go after her man and stop him from leaving. And I was that heroine. The heroine who would bring her man back and get a freaking happily ever after, that is what I was. Or again, maybe it was just the alcohol overgrowing my confident.

Either way, Edward said I was kind of his hero, and I just needed to prove him right. Or in the worst case scenario, give myself some closure.

But most of all, I needed to try and stop him from going. If he went to L.A and stayed there until his college semester started – or worse, if he stayed in L.A – that would be the end of us. He would probably think things over, clear his head, and in the process meet another girl, and I would be history. I couldn't allow that to happen.

Besides, there was a little hope nesting inside me that maybe he would change his mind at the last minute and not go on the plane, and I would meet him at the gate like lovers always did in romance novels and chick flicks.

"You're right. I have to go to the airport," I said, fumbling behind my seat for my jacket, and then stopped short. "Wait. Did you say 'we'?"

He smiled and nodded once. "I'm coming with you."

* * *

"Come _on_, you son of a bitch," I yelled out through the window like a mad woman while Spanish Guy was honking his way through the huge traffic, along with hundreds of other cars.

"Calm down," he said, "we'll be there soon.

"No we'll not. We'll get there too late and he'll already be on his way to the land of women with extremely large breasts in tiny bikinis," I said in desperation, throwing my head back on the headrest of the seat of his Audi. Those were real nice seats, by the way. Pale leather. Classy.

"I don't mean to be anything but a gentleman, but I think your breasts look pretty nice," he said, with a small smirk on his face.

I hit him playfully on the arm, and he laughed. "Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to be offensive."

"Eh, that's okay, I know they're nice," I said jokingly, and he laughed again.

"I'm glad you're calmer though," he said.

"Are you kidding me?" I shouted out. "I'm not calmer! I want to rip someone's head off, like _that_ guy for instance," I gesture towards the guy in the car that had rudely cut us off. "We'll never get there in time," I said, and groaned in frustration.

"Yes, we will," he said calmly, grasping the wheel with both hands at 10 and 2 o'clock, as I sighed heavily, trying to relax.

I turned my head fully to him and smiled. "You know you drive like a girl-scout, right?"

He seemed to be contemplating before he sighed in defeat. "Yeah, I know."

I shook my head and laughed. He really was perfect. He even had a sense of humor. I'd set him up with Alice if she weren't already hooked up with 'the reason for her existence', as she puts it.

After a few moments of silence that filled the space of the car, I decided to speak up. "I'm really sorry, Julian."

"Sorry, for what?" he asked in confusion.

"Well, for starters, for getting drunk like a priest on D-day on our date," I said. "And I'm sure driving me to the airport to stop my ex-boyfriend from going to California isn't exactly how you pictured this date to end."

"Actually, it's exactly how I pictured it to end," he said lightly.

"Come again?"

"I told you, I was gunning for you to come to your senses and realize what you need to do," he shrugged. "So I thought I could save you the cab fare."

"So, you took me out on a date, so I could get drunk and realize I love Edward, and then you could drive me to the airport to get him?" I asked, after my mouth had been gaped for nearly a minute.

"Mm hmm," he nodded.

_I cannot believe this. Everybody thinks they know me better than I do._

"Well in _that_ case, I'm not sorry, and you're kind of a jerk," I said with a pout, but it only made him shake his head and laugh.

"Thank you, though," I said quietly a moment later.

His eyes scanned my face before he looked back at the road and nodded. "I'm your friend. It's what we do," he said.

* * *

"Ma'am, this is as far as you can go without a ticket. If you want to pass, you need a ticket. Same goes for you, sir," the eighteen foot tall airport security guard stood in front of us, blocking our way.

"First of all, I'm 22, so don't call me ma'am. Second, I don't think you fully understand the situation," I said in agitation.

Edward's flight was now boarding, and if I didn't get to that gate soon, I could miss him. And Mr. Security here wasn't getting that this was a life changing moment.

"Oh, you know what? I think I understand perfectly. Your boyfriend, slash long-time best friend, slash guy you work with, is about to leave the country and you have to go tell him you love him before it's too late. It's always the same story with you people," he said, shaking his head down at me.

"Wow, don't I feel original right now," I muttered.

"Thank you very much, sir," Julian said suddenly, and pulled me away from the security guard by the arm.

"Hey, what are you doing? I'm not done with him," I protested.

He pulled me silently to a counter, where a young stewardess with long, red nails stood, looking bored.

"Hi. How much for two tickets to the next plane going to L.A?" he asked her.

I looked at him, stunned.

_Is he really going to pay for two tickets so we could both go get Edward?_

"Let's see," she said, working the computer excruciatingly slow. "There aren't any tickets for the flight that's boarding right now, so you're going to have to wait about two hours… oh, wait. There are places on this flight, but only in first class. Let me check the next flight for you."

I sighed. I knew that waiting for the next flight meant we wouldn't be able to get to the boarding area right now.

"No need, we'll take them," he said curtly and pulled out a little black American Express card, handing it to the girl.

_Seriously, who is this guy?_

I pulled at his arm, while she typed some things on the computer. "Are you serious?" I asked him, whispering.

"Yes. I'm not going to let you miss out. It's just money," he shrugged.

"It's just _a lot_ of money. The kind of amount that I can't pay you back. I don't feel so comfortable about this."

"You don't have to pay me back, Bella. Consider this my gift to Edward, as a compensation for taking his girlfriend on a date and getting her drunk," he smiled.

The girl behind the counter sneaked a look at us just then.

"You didn't get me drunk, I got myself drunk. And you've already done so much for me," I said.

"Isabella. It's okay," he said calmingly.

_Yeah, it's okay. 'Cause if it takes 40 years, I'm paying ya back._

The girl handed him the tickets and his card back, and let him sign something. All the while, she was looking at me like I was the weirdest thing she'd ever seen.

"Thank you," he said, and pulled me abruptly towards the gates, making me yelp.

"I can't believe we're doing this," I told him as we were about to enter the gate and haltered to a stop. "What if he won't be there? What if he already boarded the plane?"

"We'll cross that bridge _if_ we get to it. Now come on," he said encouragingly.

I took a deep breath and hurried into the terminal, my eyes immediately scanning the plane, searching for Edward.

This was it. If he weren't here, I'd have to face that it may be over forever.

I looked around, my heart sinking with every person I spotted that wasn't the owner of a messy copper head. We stood there for a long minute, until eventually every person who came in, or was already _in_ the terminal had boarded the flight, leaving only the two of us there.

"That's it," I said gravely, and sat down on one of the empty seats. "He's not here. He got on the plane."

"Are you alright?" he asked thoughtfully.

I shook my head, and looked down at my feet. "I don't think I've ever felt so disappointed in my life."

I thought back about how we met in high school. How he rescued me from those mean girls. How he would always rescue me, from everything. Even from things I didn't think I needed rescuing from – like dates with Mike, for example. Our friendship is something I could rely on when it was there, and now it was blown up for the second time. Only this time, it hurt so much more.

He sat down slowly next to me. "You should get on that plane."

I looked at him silently, and just shook my head. He was trying so hard, but this just wasn't going to end with a happily ever after.

"No, really," he insisted. "Don't give up now. If you just got on the plane, I'm sure-"

"I'm not getting on that plane, Julian. I'm sorry you had to pay so much for the tickets, but I'm not doing it."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because, I'm not the one who gave up," I said, angrily getting up from my seat. "Because when he got on that plane, he made his choice. _He_ gave up."

* * *

_Today, in the strange bed in the strange house._

I sat straight up on the bed, panicked. Had I really missed Edward? And if all this wasn't some sort of bad dream like I'd hoped, then where the fuck was I now?

_Well, the only person you were with last night was…_

"Oh god, oh no, oh please," I begged, whispering to myself.

_I think I've done something really stupid. Would it be better if it were a strange guy, though?_

I plumped my head back on the pillow and tried to remember where I went last night when it was all over – or more like, whose place.

* * *

_About 11 hours ago, Sea-Tac airport._

Julian nodded slowly. "I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you the way you wanted," he said quietly.

"Me too," I said, thinking how the hell could it be that things turned out this way between Edward and me.

I felt so fucking exhausted. This entire week had been an emotional turmoil for me, and today was just too much.

"I just can't believe I missed him," I said, biting my lip and trying to fight back tears from falling.

"You might want to turn around," he said, a small smile appearing on his face.

"What?" I asked, and turned around. But before I could even realize what I was looking at – or _who_ I was looking at – I felt a hand yanking me from my place and I stumbled forward, my lips landing on other lips. Amazing lips. Edward's lips.

He grasped my face in both his hands, and I mimicked his actions, trying to get out of the state of shock I was in. Move my lips. Something.

I felt his lips guide mine open, and when he slid his tongue inside, I finally snapped out of it and kissed back. Actually, I kissed the hell out of him.

He sighed into me as my tongue stroked his and I pulled at his hair forcefully – because it fucking felt like forever since the last time that I kissed him, or touched him, or even just talked to him.

_Oh, right. Talk. I guess we have to do a bit of that, too._

And still, I clung onto him for dear life and refused to pull away, because it seemed that if I did, it would all just turn out to be a dream or a crazy, unrealistic fantasy. Like everything with Edward, it seemed too good to be true.

Finally, we pulled away, but only because _someone_ decided to suddenly clear his throat.

"Sorry, I must be coming down with something," the Spanish accent sounded behind us.

I looked at Edward as he stood in front of me. He stared right back at me – quite admiringly, if I may say – and tucked back some stray hair behind my ear.

"Let me help you. Now is the part where you both say you're sorry," Julian joked.

"I wouldn't even know where to start," Edward breathed, still holding me by the waist – which I wasn't opposed to at all.

"I thought I'd missed you. I thought you'd gone on that plane," I said quietly. "In fact, I was just about to have my melt down now."

Frankly, I kind of wanted to yell at him, but I just couldn't be mad. Not when everything I needed was right in front of me, and especially not after that kiss.

He groaned and shook his head. "Ugh, I knew I shouldn't have gone to the bathroom; I should've just hold it in and wait for you."

_Okay, _that's_ something that never happens in romance novels._

"That's Murphy's Law, I guess," I laughed, and then bit my lip. "I'm glad you didn't go on that plane," I confessed. I was too tired for fighting. I just needed to be straight with him, and get the same honest truth back.

"Bells," he chuckled softly. "I was only going to go away for a few days, be with my parents. I wasn't going to leave you forever," he shook his head slowly.

"What?" I asked, feeling bewildered. Had I really over-dramatized everything that much?

"I was going to come back soon. That's why I didn't let you know I was going. And honestly, I think I'd already figured out _days_ ago that I missed you too much to let you go."

He was going to come back. And he was going to take _me_ back. And I haven't even apologized to him.

"I'm sorry I dated Jake," I said anyway. "And I'm sorry I ignored every sign that said how you felt about me."

"No, Bells," he shook his head again. "I expected you to know exactly how I felt, while I was completely blind to how you acted around me. Really. Even my mom said so."

_Huh? Esme?_

"Wow, you two are _sappy_," Spanish Guy muttered from behind us, and I turned to him to give him a death glare.

"Who are you again?" Edward turned towards him as well.

"Edward, this is Spa-_Julian_. Julian, Edward," I introduced.

Edward scrunched his eyebrows like he was doing math in his head. "Wha-Are you the one who asked my girlfriend out on a date?"

"Actually, I _took_ your girlfriend out on a date. But in my defense, I also drove her here to meet you," he said, standing up.

Just then, the last call to those boarding the plane sounded.

"You're going to miss your flight," Julian said, looking at both of us.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"I'm talking about two first-class tickets right here in my hand," he said, showing them to us. "It'd be a shame if they'd go to waste, wouldn't it?"

_He means, Edward and I, first class all the way to L.A?_

Edward looked at me excitedly. "You'd get to see my parents."

_Carlisle and Esme!_ A voice in me enthused. _But I can't go. Can I?_

"Edward, I don't have any luggage. Clothes. I don't even have a toothbrush," I said. "Or deodorant."

Suddenly, I was very aware of my personal hygienic situation. So I _really_ hoped I didn't smell.

_Man, that kiss must've tasted awful for him._

"We can get all these things when we get there. Or Esme can let you borrow some clothes. We'll manage," he said, his eyes gleaming, pleading.

I sighed. I really wanted to go, but I didn't want to leave Rose and Alice stuck in the store without me. "I don't know. I'll have to ask Rosalie."

"No, there's no time. Just call her from L.A. She'll understand," he said.

I really felt like kissing him, and then I imagined kissing him in one of those comfortable seats they have in first class, and the next thing I knew – I was thanking Julian and boarding the flight with Edward.

We were actually in the middle of a nice make out session (while the other passengers in first class snoozed and snored), when something occurred to me.

"Edward?" I broke from the kiss.

"Mm?" he asked, breathing pretty heavily.

"Why didn't you board the plane?" I whispered. It was so silent with all the people sleeping, that anybody could probably hear us talk.

"Love, we're on the plane right now," he said, holding my face gently between his hands.

I rolled my eyes. "No. I mean, before I came to the airport. Why didn't you get on the flight if you were only going to L.A for a few days?"

"Oh," he chuckled. "Because of Jacob Black."

I scoffed. "Excuse me?"

_People are just full of surprises today, aren't they?_

"Well, apparently Alice called Jacob to come stop me from making 'by far, the stupidest thing anyone has ever done in the history of the world', the way _he_ described it," Edward chuckled again.

"Are you kidding me?" I asked. This was just too much to digest.

"Trust me, I was just as shocked as you are. Of course, I told him that he got it all wrong, which only made him feel more stupid for doing it."

"Poor Jake," I smiled.

He nodded. "He suggested that maybe I'd want to hang around a bit. He said you might show up."

_How the fuck did he know?_

"He said that?" I chose subtler words.

"Yeah. He said he knows you well enough to know you'll fight for what you want," he said. His face twisted for a moment, like he was weighing his words. "And that he knows what you've always wanted was me, even when you were with him," he said quietly.

I breathed in and out heavily. I felt like I'd pained both Edward and Jacob so much when we were younger, even though I never meant it. Well, if I couldn't take it back, I could at least try to make things better now.

"Wow," I finally whispered back. "Did he sound hurt?" I asked.

He paused to think. "Actually, he sounded like… he's just accepting it as what it is. Like he was finally facing the truth."

I certainly hoped so. It seemed like Jake thought that Edward was bad for me, that I would one day see that I belong with _him_, and not Edward. But the truth was, Edward and I had been in love with each other our whole lives – and that's not something to be taken lightly.

And now I was suddenly feeling proud of myself, for being able to admit to myself that, yes, Edward was in love with me, and had been for a long time.

"Well, he was right," I said, looking into the green pools of his eyes intensely. "All I ever wanted was you."

"Can I go back to kissing you now?" he asked.

I grinned. "I really missed you, you know."

He grinned back, and then pressed his lips to mine again, claiming them as his own. Which they were. Forever.

Carlisle and Esme met us at the airport, and Esme and I hugged for about an hour. It was so great to see them again. I almost forgot how amazing they were. Plus, they already loved me, so there was no need for the whole girlfriend's first impression thing (I just hoped that the gum I chewed on was enough to cover up the smell of the alcohol).

I couldn't remember much of the drive to their house, but I remembered how tired I felt when we got there. We headed straight up to the guest room for the night, after Esme gave me some pajamas, a toothbrush and a hairbrush.

I couldn't remember falling asleep, either, but I did remember waking up several times in the middle of the night, in Edward's arms.

* * *

_Edward's POV:_

I was trying to be so careful not to make noise with the dishes, but that was extremely difficult. I also was trying to make pancakes for Bella and myself, since my parents were out to work, which was also extremely difficult.

I tried remembering the recipe that my mother taught me, but I was apparently too young at the time to actually pay close attention, or remember any of part of it except for my mom.

Eventually, I just threw out whatever mess I'd made in the pan, and let it rest on the stove. Instead, I started the coffee machine – probably a better idea where Bella was concerned – and leaned on the counter.

Memories – and I mean fucking great, stay with you for life memories – of the night before started flowing through my head, and I comfortably let them take over while I waited for the coffee.

Bella was resting her head in the nook between my arm and my chest, which made my arm fall completely asleep, but I didn't care. She was beautiful as is, but seeing her, after a week of missing her, was like drinking water after a week in the desert.

She mumbled something in her sleep, but I couldn't hear what it was.

"What?" I whispered as quietly as I could, lowering my ear to try and listen to what she was saying.

"I mmve you," she mumbled into the nook. I smiled widely to myself. She was so goddamn sweet. "But if you ever leave me again, you're a dead man," she continued. For some reason, she said that part a lot louder and clearer, not to mention it was kind of scary.

"I won't," I whispered back, stroking her hair with my fingers. "Ever."

And I had every intention of keeping that promise. Leaving Bella, _twice_, was definitely the worst thing I could ever do. It was torturous to know how badly I'd hurt her, both times I did it. I should never have left. What I should've done was tell her how I felt, confront her. Instead, I ran away like a little scared girl.

And that second time. I was just too full of myself to admit that we were both equally wrong. The only difference was that she stayed. She always stayed.

"Bella," I whispered. I felt like I had to wake her up right at that moment. "Bells."

"Mm… what?" she murmured.

"Do you still love me?" I asked, feeling really girly for asking.

"Huh?" her eyebrows formed a crease, but her eyes were still closed. Which was really, really fucking adorable.

"Do you still love me?" I asked again.

Now she opened her eyes, but looked up at me like I was insane. "You woke me up for this?"

"Yes, now will you answer?"

"And why would I not still love you?" she asked jadedly, her eyes closing again.

"Because I left. Again. And did it like a real jerk, too. I just wanted to know if you can still forgive me, even though I know I hurt you real bad. If you can still… love me," I said with a huge lump in my throat.

She didn't say anything.

"Bells, are you awake?"

"What? Yes, yes," she grumbled. "I know you were a jerk, but you're my precious jerk and I love you. Can I sleep now?"

"So you forgive me?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes. But ask me again in the morning, because I probably won't remember this," she said, and with that, she fell right back asleep.

After I mentally fist pumped, I went back to sleep as well.

The next time I woke up, Bella was still on top of me (which by the way, hurt like hell for my arm now), and her leg was draped over my waist. My hand rested on her leg, so naturally, I moved it along her bare thigh to get a feel of her.

As soon as I did, I regretted it. She was so fucking smooth, which after a whole week without her was enough to turn me the hell on. I didn't want to wake her up again – especially since she was so grouchy – but I just had to.

I gripped her thigh more firmly, and adjusted her so she would lie fully on top of me. She opened her eyes as I ran my other hand through her hair and down her neck. She looked so hot with her hair all wild from her sleep. Her eyes were staring down at me – confused, at first, but then lustful more than anything else. So lustful, it made my breath hitch in my throat.

I pulled her down to me until her lips met mine, soft but unyielding. She rested her hands on my chest, and virtually attacked my lips, forcing them open. If I was turned on before, I was full on horny and ready to go, now.

I let my hands run freely down her body as our tongues played together, until I reached her round little ass and gave it a nice squeeze. She moaned silently, making my already painful erection strain against my boxers, and then fucking grinded herself onto it. My own groan was stifled by her lips.

_Fuck. _Now_ she's wide awake, huh?_

I reached up to the waistband of her pajama shorts, eager to get rid of them, but she stopped kissing me, and put her hands on top of mine.

"No," she whispered, a hint of a smile on her lips.

"What do you mean, 'no'?" I asked in true astonishment.

"We can't… here," she said quietly.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, more concentrated on the way her breasts looked inside her spaghetti strap top than the actual conversation we were having.

"You're parents' bedroom is like, right across the hall," she said.

"Are you trying to get back at me for Forks? Cause now would be a really bad time to do that."

"I'm not trying to get back at you; I just don't want them to hear us."

"You're serious," I said, in shock. "Are you serious?"

She nodded, biting down on her bottom lip.

_God damn it, not the bottom lip._

I moved swiftly, flipping her over so that she was trapped underneath me, making her gasp.

"W-What are you doing?" she asked, her voice shaky.

I smiled internally.

"I'm just making sure," I whispered, and moved down to drag my open mouth up her neck until I reached her ear. I quietly sighed into it, something I knew would make her eyes roll back into their sockets. "That you're really," I continued whispering and let my mouth trail on her skin to her lips slowly, "really sure," I finally breathed against her lips, barely touching them with mine.

Her breath had become heavy and ragged by then, her eyes unable to focus. I had her right where I wanted her.

And then I realized, I _did_ have her right where I wanted her. She was right here, in front of me, and mine. And that was enough for me. All I wanted, in fact. Besides, I had a feeling that this wasn't just about my parents, but about feeling safe with me again before going on full speed again. And I wasn't sure if she was able to feel safe like that so quickly.

"You know what?" I said. "If you want to wait until we're alone, then let's wait."

She looked at me, baffled, and then wary. "What are you up to?"

"No, no," I shook my head, sitting up. "This isn't some mind game, or whatever. I honestly think we can wait." She just sat up in front of me silently, so I spoke again.

"Bella. All I need is for you to be with me. I don't care what we're doing. We could be bowling – although that's actually not my favorite past time…" I sighed, frustrated from my inability to ever express myself when it came to emotions, and continued. "The point is-"

"The point is," she smiled gently, "that we love each other, and now that we're together again, nothing else really matters. Right?"

I nodded wordlessly. She was right on the spot, as always. And she finally seemed ready to admit to herself that I was in love with her, just like she was with me. I loved that.

"You always knew how to save me," I admitted silently.

"We save each other," she said solemnly. "Because that's what best friends are for."

And I thought there was no way that anyone could put it to words better than she did.

I cupped her face in my hand and pulled her close enough so I could kiss her. Our lips lingered on the sweet kiss before pulling slightly away again.

"Umm… so, about the sex thing?" she started, probably about to admit that she just wasn't ready yet.

"I'm thinking we've got the rest of our lives for that, don't we?" I said, knowing that she would understand every meaning behind my words.

A big grin spread on her face slowly. "I'm thinking the exact same thing."

* * *

**A/N**: That's that! Wow, so sad. Would you laugh at me for tearing up? I really hope not, because I am. That was one hell of an emotional ride for one story, and two extremely stubborn main characters! I loved every minute of writing Candy, and I could only hope you felt the same about reading it. I will miss you and your lovely comments for the rest of my life! Well, at least until I write another fanfic because I _know_ you're loyal enough to read my next ones as well, right? ;) hahah. There will be an epilogue and an outtake, like I said, and then I'll be working on either one-shots or another fic (I have tons and tons of ideas!), so please put me on your alerts so you can read them too! I'll give you a mini-Edward if you do :D

Love you all, my precious readers! Be well and live life to the fullest! Don't forget to tell people that you love them :)


	27. Outtake: The Second Taste II

_A/N: This is an outtake of the story, telling chapter 16 – The Second Taste – in Edward's POV, at your request ;). I chose to put it here with the story so everyone could get an alert for it, and not just whoever put me on their author alert._

_I want to say that I was overwhelmed with your amazing reactions to the last chapter, and I couldn't be more grateful for it. You guys are definitely, definitely the best. The Epilogue is coming soon, and with that I'll write all the special thanks to you guys, my lovely Candy-makers! :D Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer._

**The Second Taste: Edward's POV.**

"Hey, where the hell were you today between 12 and 2pm?" my brother asked, as I sat down next to him on the bar.

"I was home, Em, though I'm afraid I don't have any witnesses, so you might just have to take me in," I said, making Jasper smirk as he polished some glasses.

"No-_dude_. I tried calling you 700 fucking times," he said.

"Oh. I accidentally left my cell at Tanya's last night," I said.

We watched some foreign movie she got, and thanks to that extremely boring thing I was almost half asleep when I left there.

"Can you believe this moron?" he told Jazz, shaking his head.

"Speaking of morons, why didn't you call my apartment?"

"I'm not as stupid as you think, okay? I tried. Your phone is disconnected."

"What?" I asked doubtfully. I couldn't make out if he was serious or just trying to cover up the fact that he didn't think of calling there.

"You didn't notice it doesn't work?" he said seriously.

"Oh, shit," I groaned, now remembering the phone bill I was supposed to pay, but put it off until I actually had money to pay it.

"The bill?" Jasper asked, understanding the situation immediately.

I nodded.

"Here," he said, taking out a can of drink from under the counter and putting it in front of me. "A coke on the house."

"Thanks," I said, still grim.

"Not to worry, little bro. Not to worry," Emmett said. "I got us totally set up for a gig."

"A gig, where?" Jasper immediately asked.

"You know that place next to the Chinese restaurant?"

"The one that used to be the B-Bar and now has no name?" Jazz asked.

"That's the one," he banged on the table with a smile.

"Gee, Emmett. That's awesome," Jasper said sarcastically, and Emmett rolled his eyes at him.

"How much does it pay?" I asked.

"Well…" he started without continuing, implying that it probably didn't pay a lot.

Jasper laughed, shaking his head.

"A gig's a gig, dick head," Emmett said to Jasper. He was actually right, at least the first part of his sentence.

"Fine. I'll take off, then," I said, taking my last sip of the coke.

"Where are you going? We should get set up right after Jazz's shift ends," he said, and Jasper nodded in agreement.

"I told Tanya I'd stop by tonight, hang out for a while," I shrugged.

"Come on, man…"

"I've got to get my cell phone, right?" I pointed out.

"If you were going to get laid, I'd understand, but getting your cell phone and _hanging out_?" Emmett said.

"Tanya and I are not like that," I said, my mind immediately wandering to Bella.

"Well, she obviously wants you to do her, so why don't you do you both a favor and fucking get some?" he said crudely.

I guess he was right about the first part again. Tanya wouldn't mind if we were more than friends, that I knew. But I was more than happy to have her as just a friend, and I didn't need to ruin that with meaningless sex. Meaningless, because I never felt that way about her, and she would only end up getting hurt.

"Goodbye, Emmett," I said, getting up from my chair.

"If you're late…" Jasper started.

"When am I ever late for anything?" I said. "Don't worry. I'll be there on time."

"Don't forget your guitar, and your angel-like singing voice," Emmett yelled as I turned to leave.

"Sure thing, boss," I said, and left the place.

I made my way over to Tanya's, feeling pensive. Emmett's words, however coarse they were, made me think. Let's just say, I definitely needed sex. Everybody needed sex. Everybody had sex. I'd had sex, but only with one girl, and frankly – it sucked. It sucked even worse than beating myself off like I did from time to time, thinking about one particular girl.

But as much as I needed, as a guy, to have sex, I couldn't find interest in doing it with any girl that came my way – and there were girls. Something was fucking wrong with me. If I didn't stop thinking about Bella soon, I would probably never have sex – or worse, never have a relationship… ever.

Just as I was thinking that, that was when I saw her.

It gave me the weirdest feeling, like seeing a mirage, a ghost of the past. But she was there, I was certain of it. Especially because she stopped in her place and stood there, a phone pressed to her ear but with her jaw dropped. That was definitely Bella.

And she definitely saw me. I couldn't figure out by the expression on her face if she was happy to see me or not, but I was sure hoping she was, because my legs automatically carried me in her direction. In fact, I couldn't even recall what my previous destination was.

For what seemed like the longest walk ever, all I could think about was how easier it suddenly was to breathe.

I was suddenly very sure of three things.

One, leaving her was a huge mistake. Two, she looked fan-fucking-tastic. And three, I never had, and never will get over Bella Swan.

One thing I wasn't sure of was how she was going to react. We didn't exactly leave things on good terms, and for all I knew, she could still be mad.

I stood in front of her, and whispered her name in awe that was only worthy of someone like her. Of course, I could barely hear myself thanks to a certain organ in my chest that was threatening to thud itself out of it.

And she didn't speak. Or move. Or breathe.

_God, please don't let her be mad at me, even though I probably deserve it_.

"Bella?" I asked.

"Edward," she sighed out finally, first smiling and then biting her lip. The sound she made, combined with the lip bite that never failed to turn me on, made me momentarily forget that I was worried she might be mad. And let's not forget the amount of time I didn't have sex, as I said before.

Besides, did I mention she looked fucking great?

"Wow, you've, uh… wow," I said, and chose not to use the phrase that came to mind.

She'd grown. I mean, fucking _grown_. She looked more mature somehow, the features of her face even more womanly, and sexy as hell. I couldn't make out her figure exactly, "thanks" to her big coat, but thanks to her tight jeans, I could see that – _yup, still damn hot_.

"You've grown," she said, as if reading my mind.

I smiled widely. "That's exactly what I was going to say," I said, noticing a blushed hue on her face. I'd embarrassed her.

_Oh god, I hope she didn't think I meant her actual _size.

"How've you been?" she asked.

I didn't want to lie, but I didn't want her to know I'd been a wreck ever since what happened, either.

"Umm… okay, I guess," I finally said. "You?" I asked, almost desperate to know.

"I'm good," she nodded. Her answer sounded about as dishonest as my own, which made me feel like a total douche.

_Don't be self involved, you prick. It probably has nothing to do with you._

"So…" I mumbled awkwardly, unsure what to say. I didn't want to end our conversation like that, without actual substance to it, but as usual, I had no idea what to say – especially when there was _so much_ I wanted to say.

"Do you want to come over for some coffee? Catch up? I live right there," she said, gesturing towards her house.

"Yeah," I enthused, happy she wanted to keep this conversation going as well.

"Good," she smiled sweetly.

We walked to her apartment silently, and I do not mean comfortable silence. I was nervous as hell – and I hadn't been nervous in years.

We were going to her apartment. I was going to see where she lives. And talk to her, learn about her life. And be in a confined space together with her, alone, where I had to try to control myself so my body wouldn't attack hers like it wanted to.

And most importantly, maybe we could go back to being friends, at least sort of, because I physically could not let her go again. Probably ever.

With all these thoughts, I barely noticed it when we got into the building.

I stood as far as I could from Bella in the tiny elevator, to avoid the possible attack I mentioned previously.

I could feel her eyes on me, making me feel warmth spreading in me. I looked at her, trying to catch her eyes, but she averted her gaze, blushing again.

I couldn't help but grin. She was looking at me, staring even.

We walked into the apartment, and my first thought was how it was exactly like Bella. It was small, just like she was. But what the apartment lacked in size, it made up for in warmth and a sense of _home_. That was exactly Bella to me.

"Nice place," I said, understating my thoughts so I wouldn't sound too weird.

"Please," she snorted. "It's almost as tiny as the elevator we just came out of," she said. I chuckled. She had the weirdest sense of humor, that was basically compiled of good wits and stating the blunt truth.

"So, do you want some?" She asked, again as if reading my mind. Although I had a feeling that wasn't what she meant. I still raised my eyebrow at her jokingly. "Coffee, that is?" she coughed nervously, her eyes wide, making me laugh. "Do you want some coffee?"

"Sure," I said before she tripped over herself or something, and took my seat at one of the chairs in her kitchen.

I watched her as she boiled the water. Now, when she wasn't wearing the over-sized coat, I could actually see her. She looked… well, like she'd always looked. Tempting. Only much, much more. Every feeling I had for her – not only didn't fade, but intensified over time. I felt like I was back in high school, or college, ogling my best friend – or now, previously best friend, I guess – and not being able to do anything about it.

"How's Carlisle and Esme?" She asked, her voice a bit nervous.

"They're good. They live in California now, actually," I said, not able to think of anything else. It's as if my mind shut everything else out, but the need to tell her everything, or even better, _show_ her.

"Well, I'm not surprised. Esme always preferred the sun," she said, rightfully. Esme really did hate the weather in Forks, and I always suspected they stayed there mainly for me, after they adopted me.

"Yeah, she did," I finally said.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from her, not even for one small second. And I couldn't stand the thought of finishing my coffee silently and going, because I had to be with her just for a little longer. And then see her again. Definitely see her again.

_And if I could just…_

She looked over her shoulder, and our eyes met.

_God, I want her._

She turned back around, and did the same thing again. When I looked back at her eyes, I noticed she seemed somehow… hesitant, unsure.

She cleared her throat loudly and asked, "And Emmett? How's Emmett?"

"Emmett's good too, he just moved in with his girlfriend," I said, my mind somewhere else entirely.

"Really? Emmett's going out with just one girl?" she laughed, and brought us our coffee as she sat down. "Never thought I'd see the day," she smiled, which only made me want to kiss her even more.

"None of us did," I said, surprised at how good she still was at making me actually speak words when I felt I couldn't.

Although, just when I thought it, the silence returned. Yes, the uncomfortable one. Bella tapped on the table, and I felt like if I wouldn't say something then, she would get bored and kick me out.

"So, umm, Charlie and Renee?" I asked.

"Charlie's… still the same old Charlie. I couldn't really say about Renee. We sort of had a… falling out, a while ago," she said, looking a bit distressed. I wanted to ask her why, but it didn't seem like she wanted to talk about it. "So are you finished with school?"

_That's right. She doesn't know_, it hit me. She barely knew anything about my life right now.

"I quit school," I said, feeling sorry for how things turned out when I chose to go to a different college than Bella's, to avoid her and that miserable wanker, Black.

Though now… now he wasn't here. And I was pretty sure he wasn't in her life anymore, or she would've mentioned him, right? But even if he was, I just didn't care anymore. This was Bella.

"Are you still writing? Stories and such?" I asked, trying to keep the conversation going until I gather up the courage to do what I really wanted to do.

"Not so much, no… writer's block," she sighed sadly.

"Oh," I said. I felt bad for her. I knew how important Bella's writing was to her. She loved it.

She drank her coffee in that silence I was dreading, and I couldn't say a word, or drink my coffee, even though it smelled pretty great. I needed her to talk, but she wouldn't. I needed her to fill the silence while my thoughts wandered from how good the coffee smelled to how good _she_ smelled.

"You haven't touched your coffee," she finally said with a small smile.

"Yeah, sorry," I said, hoping I hadn't insulted her. "I guess I don't really feel like drinking coffee after all," I added with a shrug. "But thank you."

She just nodded, her face unreadable again, and took the mugs off the table.

_Oh, no._ _I've upset her._

But what scared me more than that, was the fact that this little coffee get-together was coming to an end. No coffee, no talking – why would she want me to stay?

I had to do it now. I had to kiss her. She was right here – everything I'd wanted was right here and within reach. My fucking _dream_ was to be with Bella, and frankly, I had nothing to lose now. I needed her, I needed to relive that one moment I had with her years ago, now.

She turned around and gasped, clearly startled by my standing there. I didn't bother to apologize; I just grasped her by the face, and by her back, and crushed her body against mine, kissing her.

It was like I couldn't control my lips when hers were on me. I couldn't control the breaths I was taking or exhaling either; I went frantic.

I'd been waiting for this, for so fucking long. And the best thing was, she kissed me back. And she kissed me back like meant it. We wanted each other, and that knowledge sent a rush through me like I hadn't felt since we stood together under a mistletoe.

I loved the way her small body gave into mine, and fitted exactly _right_ in it. I let my hands roam her body, but at the same time tried to keep pulling her closer. Nothing felt close enough, not even when I could practically breathe her in, not even when I deepened the kiss further and further.

And she was _touching_ me, which felt fucking good and fucking torturous altogether. It just registered in me that this was going to happen.

I felt like I had to have her, and fast, but I didn't want to rush through it. I wanted to savor it, to remember it, to _feel_ it everywhere. I was so terrified that this was my only chance with her, and after this, it would be all over.

When she started to undress me, the more southern parts of me took over, and I returned the favor as we stumbled over to the couch, and fell on it together half naked.

For someone in a position of total control, I'd never felt more out of control in my life. She made me too mad to even know what to do. So I let my instincts take over, and I kissed her again.

It felt like fire on fire, which I'm guessing she felt as well, because we both moaned at that moment. I could feel her breasts pressing to me through her bra, and I decided it was very, very unnecessary for the moment.

I barely managed to unhook her bra, with shaky fingers (lucky it was one of those that opens in the front – god, I loved those), and discarded it.

As if I wasn't aroused enough, she pulled me to her by the hair, harshly, impatiently, so I would kiss her neck. Fuck, her neck. She smelled unbelievable. I sucked and nipped on it, not able to remove my lips from her skin for a second as I continued down to her breasts.

In all the times I'd pictured Bella's breasts, and there were _a lot_ of those times, I could never picture them to be more perfect than they were in reality. I couldn't fucking get enough. Just the sight of them was enough to send me over the edge, if I didn't hold myself back with all my might. They were small, but definitely not too small – just perfect, and soft, and so goddamn perky.

"Oh, god," she moaned out as I took one of her nipples in my mouth, caressing it over and over. The sound of her moan went straight to my cock, making it twitch in kind of a painful way. I had to have more of her.

I continued down her stomach, unbuttoning her jeans as I went, and taking them off them along with her panties, taking my time to build the expectation within her. I wanted this to be as pleasurable as possible for her, and as memorable as possible.

Finally, I laid my mouth on her, where I wanted to taste her for what seemed like ages. And even though that was my first time doing that, I found my way quickly enough. All I had to do was follow her moans – which, by the way, made me horny as hell – where they guided me.

I explored her thoroughly, as if wanting to memorize her scent, her taste. Soon enough her moans were becoming almost unbearable to me; I had to make her climax, and fast, before I would myself – which might be a little embarrassing.

So I added a finger, and then two, in the mix. I began slowly sliding them in and out of her, matching the rhythm to that of my tongue.

It didn't take her long before she was groaning, shaking, saying my name over and over again. _This_ was my absolute dream. Just knowing I was making her come, feeling her contract around my fingers, hearing her making such sounds of pleasure and _my_ fucking name – it was heaven on earth.

While she was descending back down from wherever it is I took her – and man, was I proud of myself for it – I took my time to watch her. She was so beautiful, more beautiful than I'd remembered her. And now, with little beads of sweat covering her body, and her hair tangled and sticking to her face, she looked like the best thing I'd ever seen.

I moved over her, looking at this thing, this creature that I wanted so badly for so long. This was actually happening. And she wasn't wasting any time, moving her hands all over me and down to remove my own jeans.

I felt like I was a teenager again. Like this should have been happening years ago or something. And I felt excited, and nervous, and so amazingly drawn to her.

We were, at this moment, both completely naked and gazing at each other intensely. And the surprising thing was, that those big, brown eyes of hers were looking at me in the same manner as my own – not just hungry, not just wanting, but full of emotion.

That's when I claimed her lips again, kissing her with abandon. I literally wanted to consume her, to lose myself inside her. It was the most powerful thing I'd felt in my life.

She wrapped her leg around me, bringing our bodies to full contact, moaning at the sensation caused by the friction. I groaned as well, trying to calm myself a little, with no success. It didn't help when she bit my lower lip, and pushed her tongue into my mouth eagerly; it seemed as if she couldn't wait anymore than I could. And I _couldn't_ wait anymore.

So I hitched her other leg around my waist, and pushed myself slowly inside her, feeling her hotness engulf me. It felt so… _right_.

Once I was fully inside her, I stopped, again wishing to just savor the moment. I wanted her image, lying beneath me just like that, engraved in my mind. I caressed her skin, wanting to remember the exact feeling of its silkiness on my fingers. I never wanted this to end, but if it had to – I wanted to be able to recall every little detail.

"I can't believe this is happening," she suddenly whispered to me.

"I know," I sighed back, understanding exactly the feeling. She might had said it because we were, aside from one kiss, just friends, and now we were suddenly much more than that. But _I_ couldn't believe it was happening because this was _Bella_, and how often does a person get to actually live what he'd been wishing for, for years?

I began moving again, moaning loudly at the sensation of being inside of her, and kissed those delicious lips. I kept thrusting into her, slowly at first, but a little faster and a little harder with each time. The movements of her body matched mine, meeting me with each thrust while we kissed, and touched, and explored each other as much as we could.

It was too soon before she was taking my breath away, making it harder to breathe or even groan – but we both still did, and not very silently, I might say. It was so different than my first actual time, so much more intimate, so much better. I was actually _there_, and I couldn't even help the sounds coming out of my mouth.

"Bella," I whispered, almost desperately, as I buried my head inside her hair, my shaky body unrelenting. I needed her so goddamn much. I loved her so goddamn much.

"Fuck, Edward," she said in her turn, her breath coming in small pants. Hearing her moan my name like that was unreal.

I felt like I was holding the most precious thing between my arms. My best friend, the best thing I'd ever had. The girl I wanted to much to talk to, or even just get a glimpse of for so long, and she was right here, body pressed to mine in the best possible way.

"I've missed you so much," I bared myself with honesty, kissing her cheek gently, and then her soft lips.

"Me too," she nodded with a whisper, and I wondered it she meant that in the same way that I did.

I kept moving inside her, our foreheads pressed together, driving in and out of her with purpose until we both couldn't take it anymore. I tried so hard to hold myself back until I felt her nearing her edge as well, and then we both finally got our sweet release.

It was like nothing I'd ever felt before. My pulse sky-rocketed, my whole body was shaking with tremors along with hers, and the girl I couldn't stop looking at throughout all that made my heart contract almost painfully. No, I would definitely never get over her.

I carefully disengaged from her, immediately wishing to be inside her again, but instead pulling her so she could rest on top of me. Our chests were still heaving in unison as we tried to catch our breaths.

"Wow," she breathed, and I felt a surge of pride inside me again.

"I agree," I understated with a nod, stroking her damp hair slowly.

I held her as she fell asleep, staying awake myself. I couldn't afford to miss a moment with her. Especially not one of the moments that felt like the most meaningful in my life.

I kept caressing her hair, her face, and her smooth body as she slept, until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore.

So I moved us to her bedroom, laid her on the bed and under the covers, and went in the bed beside her. We spent all night together, with her half on top of me, or spooning, or just facing each other. It was the most amazing thing. I prayed to god I wasn't dreaming.

When I woke up in the morning and she wasn't there, I feared for a moment that it really had been only a dream. But then I came out of the sleeping daze I was in and realized that this wasn't my bed.

I can't say I wasn't disappointed when she weren't there next to me, hot naked body and all – but when I saw her note I couldn't help but grin like a little boy.

She gave me her new phone number. She wanted to see me again, or at least talk to me, which made me mentally fist-pump. She repeated that last night was "wow" – another fist pump – and explained she had to go to work.

"Shit," I mumbled, suddenly remembering real life – I bailed on the gig I had with the guys, and also bailed on Tanya.

_On second thought, who the fuck cares?_

I slept with Bella last night. We had sex. How many times had I fantasized about seeing her naked, having her, making her scream? More than I could remember. But she was always someone else's. Not last night. Last night she was mine, and all I wanted was to make her mine again, or better yet – make her mine forever.

_Too bad she had to go to work_, I thought. But that only made me realize that I didn't have a job to go to, or anything for that matter. No money, no education, not anything. My fucking phone was disconnected. I wanted her to be mine, when in fact I had nothing to offer her.

I feared I was getting way ahead of myself, when I didn't even know how she felt about everything. She could very well just want to be friends, which was probably more than I deserved – but still. I wanted so much more. I wanted to keep her mine, to have her like I did last night all the fucking time.

_I have to talk to her about this_, I decided.

It was a long shot that Bella would feel that way about me anyway. But one thing I was sure of was that, if it turned out that she did feel the same way about me, I had to get my life together before we could ever be together.

_Yeah, definitely getting ahead of myself_.


	28. Epilogue

_**A/N**__: At last, I finished the prologue. I really hope it doesn't disappoint anyone, and that you'll like it… actually, I hope you'll love it._

_Thank you to everyone who has ever read this story, especially those who took their time to review. Special thanks with special pink frosting to: emeraldmoon14, camilla, Alyssa Black, __**Janna**__,__** Jerz babe**__, abstractacrylic77, acinad, Sherry80, MrsRThomasP, antariangirl93, iwannabe, bloftus, and thamker!_

_I love you guys!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight._

_

* * *

_

**Epilogue.**

_Four years ago, outside of my house in Forks._

"It's so quiet," Edward said as we laid on the grass, looking up at the unusually calm Forks skies.

"It would be quieter if you didn't mention how quiet it is every two minutes," I taunted him.

"I can't help it. It's so relaxing. I feel like I'm meditating or some shit."

"As I'm sure many Zen masters have said in those exact words," I laughed.

"Do you know Astrology?" he asked, his eyes seeking mine, making my heartbeat race.

"No," I answered, trying my mightiest to swallow. "Do you?"

He grinned. "No. But I can make stuff up for you."

"Oh really?" I asked, encouraging him to do it.

"Yes. See here, that group of three stars?"

"Mm hmm."

"That's the, uh, holy triangle. Which is very rare, you were lucky to catch it this evening," he said, making me laugh.

"And that big, sparkly collection of stars over there?" I pointed in the direction.

"That's the colossal neutron mass. But don't point at the stars," he said, taking my hand down, making me feel a rush of heat coursing from my hand to the rest of my body.

"Why not?"

"Haven't you ever heard that a lady who points at the stars will never get married?"

I snorted. "Where do you come up with that load of crap?"

"I'm not making it up, it's true. And you do want to get married… don't you?" he asked, now seemingly curious.

I thought about it for a moment. "Yeah. I do," I finally said. I wanted to have a family some day, a husband and a few kids running around and making a mess. But I wasn't sure how I was supposed to dream about those things, when they couldn't involve the person I _really_ wanted to be there. He didn't think of me in that way, and he never would. I'd come to accept that.

He nodded gravely. "With… Jacob Black?" he asked.

Again I paused, trying to think of an answer. "I don't know," I decided, and turned my face back to the stars to avoid his forceful gaze.

It was then I realized how extraordinarily close our bodies were, lying there on the cold grass.

"How about you? A hot wife and a bunch of rug-rats? Or are you a lone wolf?" I joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"No," he said, and I could still feel his eyes on me. "I want a family."

I turned to look at him now, wanting to see his reaction to my next question. "With who? Jacob Black?"

He laughed. "We would have gorgeous kids," he said, and then his staring eyes became serious again. We looked at each other for what seemed like forever, before he took my hand in his, causing my heartbeat to pick up again. He drew tiny circles inside my palm with his finger, and let out a heavy breath that hit me directly in the face with its sweet scent, making me dizzy.

"With someone warm," he said quietly, making me silently wish that it would've been me. And we both turned to look back at the sky, without saying another word for that evening.

* * *

_Today._

_Bella's POV:_

"Bells, did you hang the horrifyingly pink decorations on our pathetic excuse for a tree yet?" I heard my dad call from the kitchen, as I finished decorating the _truly_ pathetic excuse for a tree with tiny Christmas socks.

"Sure thing, dad," I called back. "Spike the eggnog yet?"

He entered the living room, wiping his hands with a dish towel. "You know what? I really did," he said.

I gasped. "You're kidding."

"No, I spiked it. But only a little, and just because Alice made me," he said.

"I did no such thing," Alice yelled out from the kitchen.

"She's obviously lying," Charlie said quietly, making me laugh out.

"So I take it you two are getting along, then?" I asked with a wide grin.

"Are you kidding me?" Alice said, coming out of the kitchen as well. "If you would've told me your dad was this awesome, I would've made you take me with you to Forks back when we were in _college_."

"I'm surprised at you, Bella. You didn't say anything about me being, uh… awesome?" Charlie said uncharacteristically.

Alice did tend to get the best out of people, with all that damn pixie energy of hers.

"Well, I guess I wanted to keep you all to myself," I said with the sweetest smile I could muster.

"That's my little brown-noser," he smiled proudly and ruffled my hair. I usually hated it when people did that – not that many people did it, it was mostly Emmett – but I loved it when Charlie did it.

The door bell rang at that moment, and Alice practically flew to the door to open it. And then I realized why. It was no other than Jasper. She pounced on him with a hug, which he happily gave back.

"I don't know about this kid," Charlie mumbled in dismay. "I mean, who wears his hair long like that?"

"Hey, I thought _I_ was supposed to be your daughter," I said, faking insult.

"Oh, don't worry. I still don't know about Edward, either," he said, narrowing his eyes.

"Dad."

"Like I told you three months ago, he's on a trial period," he said, crossing his hands against his chest, chief of police that he was.

I shook my head, smiling.

The short version? Edward and I decided to tell Charlie about us on my birthday, in Forks. Edward was, of course, wearing a bullet proof vest. Charlie took it as expected, and stared at Edward for two days straight before deciding to give him a trial period until he "proved himself".

And speaking of Edward, he was running late. He said he would, thanks to his new occupation nowadays, but he was supposed to be back by now.

Oh, yeah. I should probably say a few words about this new occupation, right?

Well, I'll give you the short version again. Edward decided to make some extra money by giving piano lessons to kids. Kids have dads. One of said dads, who happened to own a record company, asked Edward to play him something of his own, and _bam_ – record deal.

Okay, it might be a small record deal at a less than known label, but still a record deal. It wouldn't allow him to quit his job, but still – a freaking _record deal_. I think I hugged one of his ribs broken, the day he told me. And there may have been another nearly broken _bone_ in his body that day, too, if you catch my drift.

Rose and Emmett showed up next, which was good, because someone had to keep Jasper company while Alice was glued to my dad. It was the strangest thing. If I hadn't known the both of them so well, I might have suspected an affair. I wouldn't cross out the option that he was planning on adopting her, though.

Rose, in the meantime, came over to me and offered me a hug, almost as tight as Emmett's was when he entered, and then an envelope.

"What's this?" I asked warily.

"Okay, I know you guys specifically asked that we don't get you any presents, but technically, this isn't one," she said.

I opened it, and took a look inside, my eyes practically popping out of their sockets. "Rose?"

"It's your Christmas bonus, Bella," she said with a smile.

I exhaled sharply, shocked. "Are you sure about that? Because it looks more like Barack Obama's Christmas bonus."

"None of it comes out of my pocket, I assure you. I just told my boss that there was no way my Employee of the Year wouldn't get a great, big bonus for Christmas."

"We never do the Employee of the Month thing," I reminded her with a raised eyebrow. I just wanted to make sure this wasn't a handout or anything.

"Well, I'm starting with you. You know you deserve this, Bella. Besides, you can return the favor after you buy a laptop and write your first novel on it. You know, come to the store for exclusive book signings," she said.

Well, this was definitely enough for me to buy a laptop, and a really good one, too.

"I have no idea what to say," I said, looking again at the check, to make sure I wasn't hallucinating the amount.

"Ah, you don't have to say anything," she said. "I know I'm amazing."

I grinned, and returned the hug from before, even tighter than Emmett's.

"Thank you so much, honey," I said, pulling away.

"You're welcome. I never thought I would get so attached to my employees, but I have to say… these past few months made me more of an unprofessional softy than I ever thought I'd be," she said, and I caught her quickly wiping the corner of her eye.

"Rosalie Hale, is that… a _tear_?" I gasped in fake shock.

"Shut up," she urged me quietly, looking around to see if anyone heard me. "If you ever say a word about this, I swear to god I will renounce you as my friend."

The short version of mine and Rosalie's relationship? Her kicking Tanya out of the store was only the beginning. And, apparently, I _can_ do girl bonding time very well – and not just with Alice – just as Alice herself claimed. The three of us became inseparable over these last couple of months.

I heard the key turn in the lock, and Rosalie and I both turned towards it.

He came in, wearing a weird expression on his face, and closed the door behind him, looking at me hesitantly. Rose took that as a sign for her to mingle with other people, and left us alone.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," I approached him. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, everything's fine," he smiled, but still looked a little strange.

"You're late," I remarked, but smiled back and wrapped my arms around him.

"I told you I would be," he said, planting a small kiss on my lips, since my dad couldn't see us. All my current guests were in my shoe-box of a kitchen right now, for some reason.

"But you're late-r than you said."

"Well, I had to go pick up your Christmas present," he grinned. "You said I was allowed an inexpensive one, right?"

I nodded, at that moment curious as hell.

"Then you'll be happy to know that this one didn't cost me a penny," he said, looking quite pleased with himself.

"Then come on, where is it?" I urged him curiously, tapping both his shoulders with my hands while standing on my tip toes.

"It's behind the door, but… just, prepare yourself, okay?" he said, letting go of his grip on me now.

"Kind of freaking me out, but sure," I watched as he opened the door slowly, and told someone to come in.

And as soon as she did, my jaw dropped.

"Oh my god," I choked out, but immediately narrowed the distance and crashed into her with a hug. "Mom," I barely choked out.

"Baby," she said, pressing my tightly to her.

I broke away, looking at her in obvious awe. She smiled brightly to me, and cupped my face in her hands, looking at it closely.

"You've changed so much," she said. I saw some sadness in her eyes, but she was still smiling happily. I couldn't help but think how she had changed a lot as well – even the way she used to wear her hair.

"I can't believe you came all this way," I said, still unable to believe it.

After Edward and I returned from L.A in the summer, I read my mother's letter, and then decided to send one back and end the silence. She sent a letter back to me, and so we wrote to each other for about two months before I _finally_ decided to call her. It was probably one of the best choices I'd made in my entire life. I realized how utterly insane it was for someone not to speak to their own mother, especially when it was a mother as good as Renee.

"Of course I came!" she enthused. "Although, I have to say it was your boyfriend's idea," she said, turning me towards him.

He looked embarrassed, his hand tugging at the back of his hair like crazy.

I should've known it was Edward's idea. He had done everything in his power to bring my mother and I back together, and for that I would owe him forever.

"Bells, Alice said you should-" Charlie halted to a stop on his way to find me, once he realized my mother was there. "Oh. Umm, hello, Renee," he mumbled under his mustache awkwardly.

Yup, parents still embarrassed around each other. I'd been wondering if that was still the case.

"Hi, Charlie. How've you been?" she asked, seemingly more calm than him.

"Good, good. Bella, Alice said you should probably check on the chicken in the oven," he said.

"Oh, god!" I said. I had forgotten all about the chicken, and the potatoes I stuck in the oven as well.

"I'll join you," she said, smiling.

The idea of my mother joining me in the kitchen, to help me tend to my chicken on Christmas, felt so much like this was how it was supposed to be.

* * *

_Edward's POV:_

Bella and Renee went to the kitchen, leaving Charlie and I alone. Needless to say, my balls were fucking trembling. Bella's dad was less than acceptant towards our relationship, probably still afraid I would leave her and break her heart. Of course, that would never happen, but he didn't know that.

"So," he said. "This was your idea?"

I nodded. "I just knew they'd be happy to see each other again," I said, trying to avoid his eyes at all cost.

He looked me over for a long moment, making me wonder why the hell was nobody coming out of that kitchen and into the living room.

"Good job, kid," he finally said, tapping my shoulder (not very tenderly, but still) before he went to sit on the couch.

I stood there, shocked. _Did Charlie just say what I think he said?_

Thankfully, just then, Bella decided to kick everyone out of the kitchen so she could actually serve food. Jasper and Emmett, the two traitors, finally left their women and came to join me in the living room, while Rosalie and Alice sat next to Charlie and kept him company. Alice even brought him a beer, which made me think that maybe I should've taken lessons in kissing Charlie's ass from her.

Dinner was served in Bella's nicest plates, with everyone sitting on the couches in the living room (and some on the carpet, like me), and only the living room coffee table. There wasn't enough room. But it felt more like Christmas than any Christmas I'd ever had. We were surrounded by almost everyone we cared about, and most importantly – we were together, a couple.

I could see our future; us doing just this every year, until one of those years we would be joined by a toddler, maybe two. Maybe in a slightly bigger apartment. It made me think back to the conversation we had in my car when we went to Forks – the one where we sort of told each other that we wanted to have each other's kids.

I'd thought about proposing, even tonight.

But I knew what Bella's opinion about marrying too young was, so I decided to give it another year. I had absolutely no doubt that we would still be together by then. Marriage or not, we belonged together.

I watched her eat, flipping her head back so it would stay out of her food – and the hair persisting. She was laughing, talking to her parents and Alice, and shooting me looks every now and then. I always smiled to her, and she always blushed and bit her lip nervously. She was my girl, and I couldn't wait to get her alone.

_

* * *

Bella's POV_:

Dinner was… perfection. Not my chicken, potatoes, salad, or meat-pie. Well, that too. But the company. It was just as it should be. I finally felt like all the pieces of my life were coming together. I had my parents, my friends, and my man.

My man, who kept sneaking looks at me. His eyes were filled with such unexplainable admiration, they made me feel like I was the only one in the room with him.

After dinner, both Jacob and Julian stopped by for dessert, just like they said they would. Yes, Jacob and Julian. They actually hung out with us sometimes – Julian more so than Jake, but still. I don't know how exactly that worked, but they seemed to actually fit into the group naturally. Of course – Edward would cling to me a little tighter in their presence, but that usually led to jealousy sex later, so I can't say I minded. Jealousy sex was amazing.

As Edward stood by the door, saying goodbye to everyone, my dad wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I smiled at him.

"You know," he started hesitantly. "Maybe the trial period should end."

I looked at him, surprised at his readiness to _finally_ accept Edward, and then wrapped my arms around his sides with a hug. "I think that would be good."

"Maybe he's… not so bad," he mumbled, like he was reluctant to admit his own words.

"He's the best," I told him honestly.

"You take care of yourself," he said, kissing the top of my head. "Both of you."

"We will."

_Definitely everything coming together_.

After everyone was gone, both Charlie and Renee stubbornly insisting on staying at a hotel – in separate rooms, of course – Edward and I both plopped down on the couch, sighing.

"My feet are killing me," I said, since I spent the whole day either cooking or entertaining people.

"I think I ate too much," he said in return, grabbing and rubbing his stomach.

"You _did_ eat too much," I laughed. I watched him chew down my food so gluttonously tonight, it made me feel like a damn good housewife.

_Edward's housewife_, I thought. _Wife_. It wasn't the first time I'd been having these thoughts, but for now, I was happy just to have him as my own. As long as he was mine, I didn't care about the title.

"But I wouldn't expect any less from my big manly man," I said, faking a southern accent.

"It was thanks to all that food that m'woman made," he said, attempting to do a southern accent as well, but making me laugh instead.

"You suck at doing accents," I said, grinning.

"Well, so do you. I was just nice enough not to tell you," he said, effectively wiping the smile off my face.

"If you keep being this 'nice', I might just have to sit on your tummy and make you puke," I said.

"Please don't do that," he groaned, grabbing his belly. "Though," he turned his face to look directly at mine with a devilish gaze. "I wouldn't mind you sitting elsewhere on my body."

I smirked. "Yeah, I saw the looks you gave me over dinner," I said.

He scoffed. "You mean, the looks _you_ gave _me_."

"You are such a liar," I sneered. "You totally want me. You're the horny one."

"Yet, you were the one who lost our bet," he said, raising his eyebrow.

My mouth formed an 'O' shape. "You did not just say that." I might've broke first, but he was the one who said the bet was off and kept assaulting my lips.

"Oh, I believe I did."

"You said, and I quote, 'this is not about the bet anymore. I _need_ you'," I said, imitating his manly voice.

"I was just trying to make you feel better about not being able to resist my charms any longer," he said with a shit eating grin.

I narrowed my eyes at him for a long moment, before I said, "You said you loved me first."

"You fell in love with me first."

"Guess who's kicking you out of the apartment first?"

He laughed. "I'm just kidding, Bells," he said. "Who cares who did what first? I will never stop loving you."

My heart thudded to the sound of his suddenly serious words, words that he would never say so freely in the past. We'd really come a long way.

"N-Never?" Is all I could say. _I must sound an idiot_.

"I think you should know by now that you're the love of my life," he said, looking at me earnestly. "I would do anything for you."

"You already do so much," I said, biting my lip. "I can't believe you brought my mother to Seattle. Or actually, I _can_ believe it. You've proved to me how amazing you are so many times before."

"Bells," he said, cupping my face in one of his hands. "All I ever do is so that I could see you smile."

I forced myself not to smile, so I could take his face in my hands and kiss him firmly on the lips, like he deserved.

"And on that note," he suddenly got up, and picked me up from the couch bridal style, with a loud heroic groan that made me laugh.

"What are you doing?" I clung to him.

"You'll see," he said, as he carried me to our room.

Once we were there, he laid me gently on the bed and came to lie beside me, smiling.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. You're incredible," he simply said, turning on his side to look at me. I did the same.

I'm pretty sure I blushed at that moment. "So are you."

"No, you _really_ are incredible. You're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you," he said solemnly.

I stared and him and internally gasped, wondering if he was asking what I thought he was asking. And asked myself what I would say if he _was_.

_I would say 'yes'. Could I really say anything else but 'yes'?_

"I'm not saying we should get married or anything," he clarified, as if calming me down. What surprised me most was the slight feeling of disappointment I had, that he wasn't actually proposing. "I'm not asking you to marry me, at least not right away. I'm just asking you to be with me, forever. And I realize that sounded totally backwards, but-"

"I would never even consider of spending less than forever with you," I whispered to him slowly. Our faces, along with our bodies, neared each other until we were inches away, staring at each other intensely.

"Look up," he suddenly said.

"What?" I asked, and looked above us, at the ceiling.

I smiled widely as my eye caught the sight of the small green object hanging above us. "A mistletoe?" I asked. I thought it was the most wonderful gesture ever. He must've snuck back to the room sometime while everyone was here, to hang it above the bed. Wonderful, and kinda naughty.

He nodded. "So we're… probably supposed to…" he said, repeating his exact words from back then, when we shared our very first kiss under a mistletoe.

"Just shut up and kiss me," I said, grinning happily.

"Yes, ma'am," he tried the southern accent again, making me laugh before laying his smiling lips on top of mine with a soft kiss.

We kissed each other all that night, with every intention of kissing each other for the rest of our lives.

THE END.

* * *

A/N: _*sniff sniff* and so it ends. Not that the ending was sad, but I'm the one who's sad. This story was my baby. But alas, it is time to move on to bigger and better things. And speaking of that, I have a __**new fanfic**__._

_It's called __**See You On the Other Side**__. It's my first vampire fanfic, and I spent many, many hours thinking up all the details – so I'd like to think it's going to be good. Actually, I swore to myself that I'm taking a break from fanfics (besides one-shots) but after thinking up this story, I just HAD to write it. I hope you guys will decide to read it and follow me to my next "baby"._

_Either way - *imitates Edward dramatically* you will always be with me, no matter what._

_Check out my new fanfic at: _.net/s/6328549/1/See_You_On_the_Other_Side

**And... follow me on twitter for future project updates or just babbling! The username is morie312.**

_Thank you!_


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